Top 10 Soul Writings for 2019

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It’s always interesting and fun to take a stroll through the stats, seeing what most interested others.


(Team TLC Toast – New Year’s Eve December 31, 2019)

Top 10 Blog Posts With the Most Views (Culled only from 2019 blog posts)

  1. Happy Birthday to Me – Reuniting With Someone Special
  2. Looping and Dreaming with Visions of Hallelujah – An Update
  3. Manjushri Empowerment Ceremony and Vajravidarana Healing Ceremony with the Tibetan Monks of Gaden Shartse
  4. The Number 18: Happy Birthday to Lillian Darnell
  5. Breathe In and Breathe Out and Feel It
  6. Latest News: Meeting the Authors
  7. Poetry: Unfulfilled Longing
  8. The Top Six Lessons Learned from Tiny Home Living – As a Family of Three
  9. The Road Trip That Was the 2019 Chromosome 18 Family Conference
  10. The Magic She Carries Within Her Heart – Book Review of Where Would You Fly

Top 10 Blog Posts With the Most Views for 2019 (Culled from all blog posts)

  1. Recipe: No Powdered Sugar Cream Cheese Frosting
  2. Olive Oil as Facial Cleanser and Moisturizer – Oil Cleansing Method
  3. 17 Easy and Free Ideas on How to Rejuvenate Yourself
  4. Book Review: I Am That Girl
  5. Happy Birthday to Me – Reuniting With Someone Special
  6. Looping and Dreaming with Visions of Hallelujah – An Update
  7. My Entire Life Dissolved
  8. Manjushri Empowerment Ceremony and Vajravidarana Healing Ceremony with the Tibetan Monks of Gaden Shartse
  9. The Number 18: Happy Birthday to Lillian Darnell
  10. Breathe In and Breathe Out and Feel It

Top 10 Blog Posts of All Time With the Most Views

  1. Olive Oil as Facial Cleanser and Moisturizer – Oil Cleansing Method
  2. Recipe: No Powdered Sugar Cream Cheese Frosting
  3. Recipe: Almond Flour Cookies
  4. Help Team TLC with a Christmas Miracle
  5. 17 Easy and Free Ideas on How to Rejuvenate Yourself
  6. Oil Cleansing Method – Update
  7. A Moment of Defeat
  8. I Wish I Wasn’t an 18p- Girl: Moment of Defeat – Take Two
  9. Taste the Wind
  10. Lillian and Being Different Presentation

Top 3 Countries With Most Views for 2019

Top 3 Countries with Most Views for All Time

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy” has arrived, December 2019! A free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Survival of the Reno Downtown Library

In early November, Lillian and I survived visiting the downtown library so that Lillian could sign volunteer paperwork and get the fingerprinting form. That’s the one library we cannot visit due to Lillian’s depth perception, balance issues, and an uncooperative proprioceptive system. It’s a 4 level building with huge open spaces and staircases. Makes her head spin and legs shaky. It’s beautiful and I love this location. Just not a good fit for her!

There was a huge amount of anxiety over having to go there. I had spoken to them about her difficulties and they were going to let us in the back door so she didn’t have to walk through the front door and through the huge open areas. My contact was not answering the phone, so I figured we’d give it a shot going through the front doors. Didn’t go so well. We inched along with Lillian getting more and more uncomfortable and beginning to have an anxiety attack.

We made it to the elevator and I got us off one floor too early. Ugh! We inched towards a corner surrounded by book shelves and two walls to help her feel better. And … then we were stuck there! I asked a library worker to let them know we were here, but stuck where we were! HA! Someone came and let Lillian know if we got back on the elevator and went up one floor we’d be directly by her office door so she wouldn’t have to see the open area.

That did the trick! After signing paperwork, she took us back down the elevator and let us out the back door directly by the elevator. Whew! I am deeply proud and happy for Lillian having not spiraled down further while in the midst of it. I helped her slow down her breathing, breathing deeply, and distracted her by looking at books and talking about them.

As I’m stuck on the 3rd floor of the library, in the Sci-fi section, in a corner, with Lillian attached to my arm with a death grip … I’m thinking how utterly hilarious this is …. Lest I begin thinking how not hilarious this is and spiral down into my own meltdown. Good material for future books. Life is the best material …. for living, for sharing, for meeting our edge …

(November 2 2019)

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy” has arrived, December 2019! A free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Looping and Dreaming with Visions of Hallelujah – An Update

Have you ever felt like you’ve been in a never ending, looping, nightmarish dream? But, you’re not dreaming and it’s all happening with your eyes open and you’re going about your day?

I finally have a minute to share an update with you, beginning with events of the past week and a half. First, I’m thankful for the beautiful, sparkly, feel good blanket of snow this morning. It’s lovely to have reminders from Mother Nature of the beauty of life, being comforted by the loving touch only she can deliver. Here’s a photo at our temporary place, of the snow covered patio and the wonderful view.

We had to be out of our previous place by November 18th, at the latest, as it had been rented. Management had been giving extensions since August 15th, and in between the last one, our unit was rented. We were supposed to move on the 15th, but learned during the week that it would be Monday, the 18th. On Friday, the 15th, I received a call that we couldn’t get into the place until Wednesday, the 20th. This left us with 3 days, 2 nights of needing a place to stay and a place for our belongings that would be loaded into a moving truck Monday afternoon.

I received a call on Sunday letting me know to hold off on reserving a room at an extended stay hotel as we may still be able to move in on Monday. All day Monday, I was being told that the Certificate of Occupancy may be issued. Meanwhile, we finished packing and loading the moving truck. Not until 5:00 pm was I informed that it wasn’t going to happen, with still not knowing where I would have the movers unload our belongings. And, with still not having a place to stay for the night. Finally received word that I could unload the belongings into the garage attached to the temporary unit. Thank goodness for The Romano Duo and the awesome movers. Not sure how I would have done this without them. Lillian was in meltdown mode from late afternoon until the wee hours of Tuesday morning.

Fortunately, we found a room, got my mom and Lillian into the room and then went back to work getting the last of our belongings from the place we were vacating. There was much back and forth and non stop going, going, going. At precisely 11:58 pm, Thomas and I walked out of our old home for the last time. Mom and Frank had left just a few minutes earlier.

There are many details I’m leaving out. Yet, will share this … By about 7:00 pm, I was so exhausted that I was shaking and kept dropping things. On one of our trips from the old place to the hotel room, I dropped Lillian’s diffuser. Well, I actually dropped it twice. I caught it the first time. The second time, it dropped on the pavement and the lid shattered as it was glass. I totally lost it and began sobbing as I thought of the meltdown that would ensue. Thomas came over and held me in a long hug while I sobbed. I love him so dearly, for how he witnesses me. Thankfully, there was no meltdown as we just used the diffuser without the lid. Whatever! It still works. Just spews water droplets all over.

One more detail. Lillian was melting down over not having a couch in the hotel room. It’s her routine to use the couch for certain things and at certain times. I improvised and convinced her to go along with my idea. I suggested she use one side of the bed as a couch and one side to sleep on. I pulled the ironing board off it’s hook and laid it on the “sleeping” side of the couch so she had a place to put her water and other things.

Tuesday went much the same as Monday. I was told all day long that they thought they would have the certificate of occupancy on that day. It was also a day full of meltdowns from Lillian. Change and being out of her comfort zone are incredibly difficult for her to regulate. They never received the certificate, so another night in the hotel room. I was told the same thing beginning Wednesday morning. The place we were staying didn’t give a sh** about the uncertain situation. They needed to know by noon if we were staying another night or checking out.

I decided to phone the City of Reno Building and Permit Division to find out what was going on. I lucked out and the person who answered the phone was the person handling the situation. She told me the one thing she was waiting on in order to issue the Certificate of Occupancy and gave me the cell number for one of the owners of the project. I phoned him to express my concerns and to ask what the hell is going on. Turns out he had just finished doing what needed done and was headed to the city to deliver paperwork. He phoned me a bit later to let me know he had the Certificate of Occupancy. Finally!!

But, wait. We still had to wait for management to do a walk through of the unit and still needed to sign paperwork. Between all of this, it was nearly 6:00 pm once we got the keys and were inside the unit. Had to get the movers back over to bring a few belongings up from the garage .. our beds, a few pieces of furniture, and some boxes. While Thomas stayed with the movers, I went to get Lillian and the rest of our things from the hotel.

We had opened the windows to air the paint smell, closing them around 9:00 pm. It was then that I noticed the heat was not coming on. Nothing I did to the thermostat made it work. We spent the first night here with it in the upper 50’s in the unit! Fortunately, I own two oil heaters and put one in each bedroom.

HVAC contractor was over Thursday to address the issue. The damn thermostat wasn’t even connected! After much time searching, he could not even find the line for it. He fixed it so that we would have heat until they could come back on Friday and run a new line to the thermostat. He connected the thermostat directly to the heater system in the ceiling; which meant I couldn’t access it and had to decide on a temperature to leave it at. Ugh!

Late Friday morning I went to the post office. On the way back I received a call from the office advising not to return to the unit for a couple of hours as there was an issue with the gas. Ummmm …. my kids are there!! Apparently they knocked on the door and when no one answered, assumed no one was home. (New note added to the file advising of our situation with Lillian and that I homeschool Thomas.) I had to park 2 units away, walk to our unit, with a construction worker, hurriedly rouse Thomas and Lillian, and get out of there! Apparently, a construction worker hit a gas line.

Just as this was happening, I received a call from the HVAC company that they were on the way. Had to tell them not to bother due to the situation. It was 2 and a half hours before we were allowed back into the unit, with another 2 or 3 hours before the gas was turned back on. Which meant that the heat did not get repaired on Friday.

The HVAC guys were finally here yesterday. They had to cut three holes in the wall to run a new line, plus move the thermostat. They left around 2:30. I began to notice that the heat was not coming on. Again, no matter what I did to the thermostat, it wouldn’t work. Called them and out they came again. It’s finally working!! The drywall guy was here until 5:15 repairing the holes. What a crazy time this has been!!

Then, last night at just about 10:00 pm, we got to experience our first power outage in this community. Ugh! Lillian nearly had a meltdown as she was thinking of all the things that she wouldn’t be able to use. Fortunately, it was only off for about 2 hours. I’m so ready for a long run of uneventful days.

The date for moving into our unit was December 2nd. I was informed yesterday that it’s been moved to December 9th. I’m okay with that. I’m just happy to finally be here, even if we aren’t in our permanent unit. We will absolutely enjoy the view we have from the temporary unit, while also enjoying having an attached garage! I’ll have a garage once we get into our unit, it’s just not attached.

Now, to back up to the beginning of this adventure. About 4 years ago, I learned of this new community being built, first of it’s kind in the state of Nevada. I put my name on the interest list. After a couple of years, I assumed it wasn’t going to happen and just let it go. Then, around January of this year, I received a call that I was on the interest list and asking if I was still interested. Yes, yes!!

I was told it would be ready for move in on June 15th. I completed the application, turned in paperwork, was approved, picked out our unit and garage, and the waiting and excitement began. In May, the date got bumped to August 15th. Which was fine with me as my current lease wasn’t finished until August 31st. In the beginning of August it was bumped to September 15th. This went on with bumping it every 2 or 3 weeks … up until now. I am deeply and incredibly grateful to and for management at The Vintage as they worked with me on these continual extensions.

If you’re still here, thanks for reading what I write. I know this was long and included much details. Yet, it’s my nature to share with you what I’m experiencing. Plus, I wanted to have this for myself … as a reminder. During all of this, I kept thinking I was crazy and making a mistake for not walking away. I absolutely would have walked away, long ago, if there were another community like this in our area.

For all of Lillian’s meltdowns throughout these past 5 months about moving, about leaving the home she’d known for going on four years …. Not one complaint, not one comment about the change. She LOVES having her own room and bathroom. Loves it. I knew she would. She also reminded me of something I needed reminded. I cannot remember her exact wording. She said something about the courage and tenacity (my word) it took to stay with this, to get us in here, all the phone calls, everything I did, and continued to do to make this work. I forget sometimes that I have two young people watching how I handle situations, how I live life. At times, I totally suck at handling life, at other times, I suppose I shine, even if it’s after the fact …

Hallelujah! We’re nearly there and I have some great material for a future book! HA! Much love to all of you!

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Coming Soon!! “Words of Alchemy” is the latest book coming to life! Coming Fall 2019.

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Words of Alchemy – Cover Revealed

I’m late sharing this, yet, wanted to thank the two wonderful book bloggers who participated in cover reveal day for Words of AlchemyI’d be incredibly grateful if you’d visit one or both of these two lovely ladies blog. And, if you are moved, like the post, share it, or comment on it. Much gratitude!

Thank you to a new book blogger friend, Kriti of Armed with A Book, for taking part in the cover reveal yesterday. She did a beautiful job and I love how she’s set up her website.

“Today is a momentous day in my journey as a bookblogger – I’ve been asked by Camilla Downs to reveal the book cover for, Words of Alchemy, a heartfelt free-verse poetry collection by her! If you are interested in poetry (as you know I’ve been in the last couple weeks), you, my lovely reader, have the opportunity to pre-order a signed copy of Words of Alchemy …. ”

Words of Alchemy

Thank you to book blogger friend, Katrina, for helping to spread the word on Saturday about the cover reveal.

“Cover Reveal of Words of Alchemy Poems by Camilla Downs

Today we are revealing the book cover for, Words of Alchemy, a heartfelt free-verse poetry collection from Camilla Downs. You can pre-order a signed copy of Words of Alchemy …”

Cover Reveal of Words of Alchemy Poems by Camilla Downs

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Coming Soon!! “Words of Alchemy” is the latest book coming to life! Coming Fall 2019.

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

 

Latest News: Making My Way Through The List and Cover Reveal Coming Soon

Finished what should be the last major go through for the book. A 3D image of the cover coming soon for a cover reveal. Now to decide on a few things regarding formatting and layout of the book, finalizing the book blurb, getting review blurbs, LCCN, Bar Code Graphic, and probably a few things I’ve left out! Sounds like much, yet, should go pretty quickly.

Two to three weeks working my way through the “Lillian turns 18” next month list, along with other “must be addressed” items.

SSI figured out for the moment
I have a better grasp on Supported Decision Making now and know I don’t have to feel rushed for that one.
Have researched and messaged back and forth regarding changes to the dosage of CBD oil
One issue almost completely taken care of – just waiting to receive something in the mail.
Still working my way up the ladder with the SRC issue. Got the supervisor of the supervisor’s email address yesterday afternoon.
Have gotten Meeting the Authors nearly caught up
Got 2 boxes packed for our upcoming move 😂
July and August date day with Lillian
Now … hoping to make my way back to my book this week and plan for Lillian’s 18th birthday!!

Thinking I may take a day or two off in October … July, August, and September have been and will be intense! Whew! (Leaf shaped heart photo from October 2018)

FINALLY got the issue with SRC resolved! Took nearly a month and going as far as the supervisor of the supervisors. Now I know why I like emailing as opposed to the phone. I had a timeline that indicated I had turned everything in as asked, when asked.

Recap: Turned in all documents in May having to do with a service for Lillian. It was approved. We used it for June and July. Got a message in July they had canceled the approval and had put her on a wait list as they didn’t get the documents needed. I kept getting “nothing can be done” until I sent an email this Monday to the supervisor of the supervisors. Done. And, retroactive to include July as I didn’t know they had not paid the provider for July.

So …. when dealing with agencies, keep notes on your calendar and email whenever possible!! Whew!! One thing completely off the list! Onward! 💜

And a side note … I am kind in these communications; but firm. I also make sure the supervisors know that the person they supervise has been pleasant and helpful and that I appreciate them (if they have and I do). I did let them know about a rude individual who had contacted the provider about not receiving a form that was turned in …

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is arriving January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

 

Breathe In and Breathe Out and Feel It

I had a decision to make. I could continue to be stuck in a place of self pity, of feeling like I’m not one of the chosen who gets to have a peaceful, abundant, and joyful life. By no means was this an easy decision to make. I struggled on and off for more than 20 years with a core belief that people like me do not get to have an easy, peaceful life.

A charmed and privileged life of knowing what one wants, how one wants to contribute to society, and for this to effortlessly flow into one’s experience. No, as much as I tried to affirm the opposite of that belief into my consciousness; I found the “people like me don’t get to have it that way” belief still lurked in the dark hidden crevices of my mind.

I’m not one of those who knew as a child what she liked to do and stuck to it, no matter what. In fact, I have no memories of any interests or leanings during my childhood. In my mind’s eye all that I see or remember are like snapshot photos, like a polaroid instant photo. I don’t remember my childhood as if it were a movie with the scenes replaying in my mind. The things I do remember are frozen in time.

Having a gratitude practice has been the shining light during times when it seemed there was only darkness. Many times it appears as if I have nothing for which to be grateful. With practice, I have learned to dig a bit deeper than what seems to be happening.

On the days in which my mind is swirling with the heaviness of circumstances; I can bring my will power to the table, allow myself to feel the heaviness, and then move into that for which I have to be grateful. There can be a seemingly never ending stretch of time between moving from feeling the heaviness to a gratitude practice. Yet, it’s worth the wait for me to do it in this way.

I can look around me and find dozens of things for which to be grateful. The clothes I’m wearing, the furniture in the room, the laptop I use to pour out my heart, the food in the kitchen, indoor plumbing, toilet paper, a comfortable bed.

Then I can shift my gaze to the window. I am grateful for the window itself so that I may see and have nature within eyesight. Gratitude continues for the trees, and grass, the fresh air, the warmth of the sun, the shade of the clouds, and the delightful bird song.

This is just the beginning. I then close my eyes and bring to mind more images for which I am grateful. My two kids come to mind. I see each of their faces, their smiles, and my heart swells with love and overflows with gratitude. These two wonderful beings have brought deep lessons and incredible joy as they were the catalyst for my arriving at a different destination than I had imagined and shifting my entire view of this thing called life. You bet I’m grateful for these two.

When my daughter, Lillian Darnell, was 3 years old, she was diagnosed with a rare chromosome condition called 18p-; which affects 1 in 56,000 people. Was I grateful for this diagnosis at the time? Absolutely not. I cursed the harshness of it, I cursed life, I was angry and I felt betrayed. Do I feel the same way 14 years later, with a 17 year old Lillian? Absolutely not. …….. Well, let’s be honest. Yes, I do at times. That’s where feeling the emotions and then the gratitude practice shine their amazing light and lend a hand.

In the past I did, in fact, bypass allowing myself to feel the cruddy stuff that called for my attention. I went straight to the gratitude practice without first acknowledging and embracing the unloveliness that had risen to the surface. These days I only bypass when I can’t possibly focus on what needs to be released or I just don’t have the energy or will power. Otherwise, I dive into the abyss and hope I come up for air some time soon!

This gratitude practice and connecting with emotions works best for me when I pour my feelings and emotions into my digital journal. First, I get it all out. Feel what I need to feel as I’m writing, from numbness, to anger, hopelessness, and despair. While at the same time either sobbing or laughing at the ridiculousness of it. For me, this is a critical first step before even entering the gratitude practice. If I did not take this first step, I’d simply be stuffing the unlovely feelings to resurface later.

In all honesty, I forget many times to come back around to gratitude. I am in a hurry, I don’t have time to sit reminding myself of all for which I have to be grateful. By allowing myself to first feel what I need to feel, I can then experience a pivotal shift by acknowledging that for which I am grateful.

At 13 years old, Lillian’s younger brother, Thomas Darnell, is in the throes of puberty and has his own set of challenges. This single parenting journey of raising two kids who each have challenges has been a wild ride. I turn to writing in my digital journal and following with the gratitude practice.

I am not meaning this to sound as if my challenges are any more important or deeper than another’s challenges. At this point I have come to realize each one of us has shadows and struggles. Some of us have perfected bypassing all this jazz, living life seemingly to the fullest. Some of us have perfected diving into it and living life to the fullest. And, some of us are patiently making our way through the diving in part and doing the darn best we can at living life to the fullest. We’re all in this together. Just in a different way.

Having a gratitude practice has been an integral part of this journey for me. I am blessed to remember to appreciate life’s delights, nature’s art and beauty, the kindness and compassion of others; balanced with diving deep into the unlovely feelings and emotions that rise to the surface, ready to be embraced, loved, felt and released.

Breathe in, Breathe out, Feel it …. One breath at a time.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Are you an author who would like to be interviewed or a book lover who wants to discover new and interesting books? Head over to Meeting the Authors … I think you will love it!

Coming Soon!! “Words of Alchemy” is the latest book coming to life! Cover is currently being created and we are shooting for July 2019 for release date!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo

 

Poetry and Photography: Appreciation

Appreciation

Stop the madness.
Time to remember.
These thoughts are not
one’s true essence.

These thoughts are of the mind.
Stories of the past,
Patched together with
the glue of unlovely memories.

They are not true in the now.
They are but illusions,
sparkles and dust of the past.

Recognize the
True You as the
one in observation
of these thoughts.

Take a deep
cleansing breath,
purse the lips,
blow
and
clear them
from one’s heart.

Acknowledge them,
Embrace them,
Love them.

Release these mind stories
of the past.
It is time.
Release the torture.

I deserve this.
You deserve this.
We deserve this.
And we are free.
©️2019, Camilla Downs

February 2019

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is still available. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo

**Become a Patron and Support my creations of photography, poetry, books, writings, and mentoring. Click on the below photo and support with an amount that feels right for you. If you’d like this to be a monthly gift, please note so in the comments. Much Gratitude to you!**

love-cards-in-a-basket-october-2016

**Current Work In Progress as of Spring 2019: A Collection of Poetry. Tentatively titled, “Liberation – Words of Alchemy”.

 

Latest News: Words of Alchemy – Coming Soon

Celebration time! I finally finished Round 1 of filtering through writings for the next book! Many more rounds to go. Yet, getting that first one completed is nearly the hardest!

“Words of Alchemy” is under way and is a collection of poetry written from 2013 to current – the words that alchemized my life experiences over these past 6 years. I have the book cover designed in my mind. Hope to get an actual digital image soon.

I cannot believe I wrote that first poem in May 2013 – birthed by visiting Fallen Leaf Lake and Mount Tallac. I still remember how wild it felt having these words populate my mind and how compelled I felt to set them free. It was the beginning of the alchemy.

I never would have dreamed I would write a poem. Much less, having kept at writing them for 6 years. I’m sure mine aren’t considered traditional or classic poetry; but I’m also sure everyone knows what I think about labels. That’s right. Screw em.

I spent 2 hours researching what is considered poetry vs verse vs prose. It caused my head to spin and wonder what the heck. People spend valuable time and space arguing about what is a proper poem. Yet, if that makes them joyful … GO FOR IT!

I woke up the morning of April 25th with the feeling … perhaps knowing … that a huge cycle has completed for me. It is a most interesting feeling. Like I’m coming back around to interests I had as a child, remembering what excited me, what I loved doing. It’s not all there yet. All I know is … something pivotal has completed.

Writing and sharing snippets through social media is also healing and a way of shedding what no longer serves. When I write I can hardly contain the emotions I feel inside. The emotions are as hot as lava and as sweet as honeysuckle – from the pit of my belly all the way up to my throat. I am, indeed, compelled to share my experiences.

An excerpt from a previous post titled “The Alchemy of Writing” ….

” ….. Everything I write has been experienced and lived by me. When I sit to write, at times I listen to music, and at others I write in silence. I lay my fingers to rest on the keyboard of my well worn laptop. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and type a few words.

Camilla's laptop 7.14.18

Once the first few words appear on the screen, something within takes over. My heart begins to race with the excitement of opening a meticulously wrapped gift. I become lost in another dimension. My fingers and hands become warm, the veins in my hands rising like miniature mountains. Interestingly, forming a large H on my left hand and a large Y on my right hand. (Which happened as I was writing this passage ….. !!)

Left hand Typing 7.14.18 Right hand Typing 7.14.18

The words begin to flow as fast and smooth as water running from a faucet. I type as fast as my fingers and hands will allow. For which I am thankful for having had typing class in high school.

At times, I notice I have forgotten to take a breath for fear of missing the words that are streaming forth. Yet, I know the words I miss will return at some point or they will land with another to share in their own way. In the past I fretted over the words that go away. Now I know that it matters not. All comes forth in perfect timing.

The Alchemy

Writing is my witness, my alchemy, my soul song. Writing is my therapist, my medicine, my best friend, my parent, my sibling, and my lover.

It is the way I connect with life so that I can release it and to also receive advice, solutions, and be consoled. Writing alchemizes what I experience; guiding me to the lesson I am to learn, memories I am to remember and release, and to the Knowing of why I am experiencing whatever it is.

This is not to say that writing replaces any of these roles, it simply enhances them.

The Vow

I vow to write.

I vow to listen for what to write. I vow to write even if no one reads what is written. I vow to write even if it turns some away. I vow to write for the writing is the food that feeds my soul. I vow to write until the day I am no longer inhabiting this beautiful Earth.

I vow to write. And, I vow to let myself not write when the time calls for it; not feeling guilty or a failure for doing so.”

And, an excerpt from a previous post about why I write

” ….. My laptop became the couch I rest upon; while writing of my experiences became the therapist. This also serves as a tool for me to sync with life and for giving myself feedback for those experiences. Writing became an avenue to connect with and release the myriad of emotions and experiences of parenting.

The writing becomes an observer of my experiences. One that allows me to step away from the situation by pouring my heart onto the digital pages. I feel we all know in our heart the solution to tough parenting situations; or at the least, what would be the better of available options …… ” Go here to read further.

This is me in one of the pictures I love most … showcasing joy, peace and freedom … 2016 – taken by Thomas ..

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo

**Become a Patron and Support my creations of photography, poetry, books, writings, and mentoring. Click on the below photo and support with an amount that feels right for you. If you’d like this to be a monthly gift, please note so in the comments. Much Gratitude to you!**

love-cards-in-a-basket-october-2016

**Current Work In Progress as of Spring 2019: A Collection of Poetry. Tentatively titled, “Liberation – Words of Alchemy”.

 

Photography and Poetry: The Circle of Life

**THROWBACK TO JULY 2018**

The Circle of Life

On a bed of lentils,
surrounded by yellow flowers,
in cycles of three
she rotated through life.

What has she done wrong,
What did she do for all
the right reasons?
Haunted her it has,
ever since.

Hold the faith in I AM,
she will.
Knowing her inner beauty,
using the dark spaces to glow.

Pulling old roots,
Planting new roots.
Never forgetting how
lovely she is.
Don’t forget the tomatoes!

She lost her voice,
building a shield
to protect herself.

The time is now to
gently lower the shield.
To release her Voice.
Knowing her self-worth,
Knowing her value,
Loving her Self.

Lord Ganesha and Goddess Kali,
Are you here yet?

Here comes the Gust
of Cheer!
How’s the lipstick?
You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet!

-2018 Camilla Downs

INspired by a session in mid-July 2018 with my friend Lalita Simon. These were messages from my angels, guides, and my grandparents! HA! …This is like a poetry soup of our conversation.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo

**Become a Patron and Support my creations of photography, poetry, books, writings, and mentoring. Click on the below photo and support with an amount that feels right for you. If you’d like this to be a monthly gift, please note so in the comments. Much Gratitude to you!**

love-cards-in-a-basket-october-2016

**Current Work In Progress as of Spring 2019: A Collection of Poetry. Tentatively titled, “Liberation – Words of Alchemy”.

 

Latest News: Become a Patron

**Become a Patron and Support my creations of photography, poetry, books, writings, and mentoring. Click on the below photo and support with an amount that feels right for you. If you’d like this to be a monthly gift, please note so in the comments. Much Gratitude to you!**

love-cards-in-a-basket-october-2016

**Current Work In Progress as of Spring 2019: A Collection of Poetry. Tentatively titled, “Words of Alchemy”.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo