Poetry: Unfulfilled Longing

(Full Moon on December 12 2019 – Taken by Camilla Downs)

This was written over 2 months ago, on September 28 2019. If you follow me and my writings, you’ll know I have been incredibly busy these past few months with this nightmarish move, finishing my book, Words of Alchemy, maintaining MeetingtheAuthors.com, and parenting.

It has taken a while to come back around to this and publish it. The above being one reason. Another reason is that I needed to allow space. The event that brought forth this one, brought with it strong and deep emotions. I am well past it at this point, having allowed myself to sit with it and feel it. May it be meaningful to you or someone you know.

Unfulfilled Longing

As a young child,
as a young teenager,
she daydreamed of
having, of being surrounded
by loving, supportive parents.

She spent as much
time as possible with
friends and their
seemingly normal families.

Each had
their own issues.

Yet, she never witnessed
the shaming, yelling,
dysfunctional madness
that surrounded her
nearly every day.

Daydreamed, she did,
of being a part of
her best friends family.
Longing to have stability,
to be loved without conditions.

Longing to have closeness
with the parents.
Longing to share
with them her true self,
without fear of being
rejected and judged.

Longing to have the
beautiful parent/child
relationships she witnessed
in other families.

The young girl within
still longs for this.
She is still triggered by this
hurt buried in her heart.

Whenever shaming is
directed her way by a parent,
the young girl within
is stirred and the longings
of old are rekindled.

Bringing forth the sadness
and tears to help cleanse
what remains of this old wound.

As she nears her fifth
decade, it is clear that
this type of relationship
she will not have.

She knows and accepts
she cannot change others,
she knows and accepts
they are doing the best they can
with what is within them.

Although this allows
the wound space to be felt,
a wound it is,
and pain it still holds.

She takes the hand
and heart of this
young girl
letting her know it is okay
to feel this way,
it is okay to let the tears
roll down her cheeks,
it is okay to have wished
it to be different,
it is okay to feel the hurt,
it is okay
and she is loved
through it all.

©2019 Camilla Downs

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Coming Soon!! “Words of Alchemy” is the latest book coming to life! Coming December 2019.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

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