Throwback Post: You’re Doing it Wrong

**THROWBACK POST**

*Written sometime in mid to late 2017*


(from a June 2020 Walk – Taken by me)

The overriding theme of my childhood was that I was doing it wrong and not to trust myself. Therefore, I have struggled all my life with low self-esteem and incredibly low self-worth. Believing I am not worthy of having a beautiful and peaceful life, full of unconditional love is something I have always thought was not something I deserved.

I have spent the last 20 years learning to like and love my self, learning who I truly am, and for 2016 and 2017 walking into, connecting with, and releasing this darkness.

Indeed the children of our world and the future of our world strongly depends on not conforming children to the way it’s “supposed” to be done and always has been done. They come into this world (and we did too) knowing who we are, knowing the gift we brought with us, and trusting our self, our intuition. I feel each and every one of us came here to share Divine Love in our own unique way … to share loving kindness and compassion for one another, Nature, and animals.

August 2020 Update: This was originally written to add to another post that was published about the same time. It’s a letter written to my son, Thomas. Go here to read the original post and why I felt moved to add this additional note.

Dear Thoughts: I Want To Be Happy With Myself

I am in a much better place these days. I feel this is mainly due to the courage of walking into what I needed to do to heal myself. I still have days where I feel I’m doing things wrong, making wrong decisions, days full of guilt and shame. However, I’ve learned how to process and feel these emotions. They don’t ever truly go away. I’ve learned how to go to the core of the issue, let myself feel what needs to be felt, with the knowing that it is okay to trust myself.

(I recently changed the hosting company for this website, along with all other websites I manage. In the aftermath, my draft posts got deleted. Oh no! Fortunately, they were in the back up and could be reinstalled. However, the original draft dates were deleted. I’m taking that as a sign that it’s time to do cleanup and housekeeping.)

Blessings,
Camilla

See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Gentle Courage that Unfolds into a Celebration – Words of Alchemy

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“This is an exceptional collection of endlessly expressive free verse poetry, extremely moving and inspirational in a variety of different ways. It speaks of nature, healing, family, heart, unconditional love, joy, harmony in oneself, mindfulness, vulnerability and genuine acceptance of ourselves.

Camilla has approached her life experiences with a gentle courage that unfolds into a celebration of the important things that mean the most to us. Despite all of our negative times and troubles we have to endure, life has so many positive experiences to offer. Camilla navigates her own trials and tribulations when it comes to pain, heartache and sorrow, yet still weaves the words into something incredibly beautiful with every single poem she exuberantly spills on to the page.

Whether her poems are long or short, each one packs so much heartfelt emotion in their exquisitely, passionately sculpted words that you will want to read it a few more times, to absorb its essence and appreciate the purity of words that touch deep within your own soul.

My favourite poem in the collection (it was such a difficult choice, since all of the poems within have something unique to recommend them) was the one written by Camilla with her children Lillian and Thomas (Love is Magical). I had to re-read it a couple of times, as I marveled over what was written and by whom. It was exhilarating how well their different writing styles meshed together and at that point, I could really feel the bond of family between them all.

Buy this book and get taken on an enticing emotional journey that you will never forget.” – David E.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Throwback Post: The Ghost of Smallness

**THROWBACK POST**

I think this is from 2017 … It has not been corrected for grammar.

The Ghost of Smallness

Look into the
face of anxiety.
Stand with anxiety,
knowing not fear
for anxiety is
a ghost of the past.

Anxiety haunts,
Lurking in the shadows.
Hidden and simply
waiting to emerge again.

Causing the grip of
freedom to be lost
and smallness to
settle once again in
its rightful place.

Knowing to be looked at
and felt with no fear
would surely
be the end.

And the one looking
Would regain
the grip of freedom.

As you are faced and felt,
you would be no longer
Dissolve you would
as you are faced and felt.

As the host
remembers that
I am light and love
and light and love
bring alchemy and
transform both of us

allowing me to see myself as the divine sees me
and allowing you to become love and light
and haunt me no longer.

(I recently changed the hosting company for this website, along with all other websites I manage. In the aftermath, my draft posts got deleted. Oh no! Fortunately, they were in the back up and could be reinstalled. However, the original draft dates were deleted. I’m taking that as a sign that it’s time to do cleanup and housekeeping.)

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Makes You Consider Your Own Life – Words of Alchemy

“This book is full of beautiful, inspiring, thought provoking poems about love, nature, acceptance, joys, fun, mindfulness and gratitude! They really pick you up and make you consider your own life and the changes you could welcome to lead a happier, fuller life while reading about Camillas passion and love for nature, family, friends and all the small things that a lot of us take for granted! It’s emotive, and lovely and just a stunning read for a day when you may be feeling low! It’s a feel good collection of poems that really will brighten your day!” – Lynne P.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Throwback Post – The Love of Tree

**THROWBACK POST**

Spring or Summer of 2016 – A time I spent months painting rocks, pairing with poems, which I then hand wrote on upcycled material made for hanging. That was fun! Thanks to all who purchased these way back then!

The Love of Tree

Your silhouette soaks into my soul
and stirs creativity to an unbounded place.
I am lifted by your limbs.
I become anointed with the knowing of given talents.
The knowing and conviction of trusting myself.
Your love lightens the load.
What no longer serves is lifted and transmuted by your strength
to float away with the wind.
When I depart your presence, I leave different than I arrived.
I depart on limbs of love.
I am healed by the sound of your leaves swaying in the breeze.

(I recently changed the hosting company for this website, along with all other websites I manage. In the aftermath, my draft posts got deleted. Oh no! Fortunately, they were in the back up and could be reinstalled. However, the original draft dates were deleted. I’m taking that as a sign that it’s time to do cleanup and housekeeping.)

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

An Intimate and Brave Expression – Words of Alchemy

“What a joy it is to read this gem of a poetry book. Full of beautiful free-verse, a memoir about friends, family, relationships and the love of the nature. This is for you if you enjoy the natural world, (as I do,) if you appreciate poetry that delves into the heart and doesn’t hold back. In many ways it is an intimate and brave expression of the author – Camilla Downs’ – thoughts and feelings. I highly recommend.” – Marjorie M.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest News: More on the Vacation Time


(from a recent walk – July 2020 – taken by me)

I posted recently that I would be on vacation from July 26 – August 9th. I wrote that post in a hurry so as to be sure to let all of you know. I have been feeling all week that I want to expand on the reason for this break.

About a month or two ago, I got the feeling that it was time for a break. After the 15 year healing journey I’ve traveled, I’ve gotten pretty good at listening to my intuition. When the feeling popped up a few more times, I began to plan the Meeting the Authors posts to allow for a two week break.

Although I’m calling it a vacation, I will be working on tasks that have fallen by the way side, organizing things from our move at the end of 2019, balanced with taking it easy, reading, and perhaps exploring Reno, and the surrounding Lake Tahoe area.

I will definitely be off of social media through, at least August 2nd, at the most, through August 9th. I will be off of the Meeting the Authors website and MTA social media for the entire two weeks.

I’ve got many non-social media, non-blogging tasks that need or should be addressed, and they continue to get pushed aside so that I can keep the this blog, The Team TLC website, and Meeting the Authors up to date, and continue to engage with friends and connections on social media.

2020 is supposed to be the year of pressing the reset button, with rest, and relaxation. I have pressed the pause button on several areas, but I feel the need to re-access where I place my attention and efforts. So I will also be taking this time to look at where I want to focus my energies.

I absolutely love what I do over at Meeting the Authors. It is such a joy to meet and help promote so many authors and book bloggers. I will continue to do this. However, I most likely will scale back the frequency of the posts and interviews.

I’ve already slowed requesting interviews and reviews for my latest book, Words of Alchemy. Once I share all of the interviews, and reviews in back log and yet to be published, that will be put on pause also.

I may schedule a few (or more) blog posts to publish during the break. It just depends on how many I get scheduled before tomorrow. Once I return, I’ll update everyone with any changes to where I’m focusing energies. I will miss engaging with all of you and hope you have an amazing end of July!

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Nearly Finished – Dentist Trip Number Three for Camilla — Team TLC = Thomas, Lillian and Camilla

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June 3 2020 Lower left side teeth done this afternoon, entire left side of face numb. Only one more trip, two at most, and we’re done!

Why am I sharing my dental journey? Everybody goes to the dentist, right?

Going to the dentist is not fun at all. Yet, when you’ve had to wait 13 years, due to lack of funds to address issues, it is a relief and a blessing. Hence, my excitement over finally getting my teeth addressed! YAY! Here’s to teeth that don’t bother me!

via Nearly Finished – Dentist Trip Number Three for Camilla — Team TLC = Thomas, Lillian and Camilla

Release and Comfort – Words of Alchemy

“I have always loved Camilla’s writing. So glad she put it in a book for me, for us, to always have on hand. Her poem form is original and real. I get release and comfort in reading the selections. Godspeed to her and thank you.” – Amazon Customer

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

 

Latest News: Vacation Time


(Nevada Beach, Lake Tahoe – Photo by Camilla 2019)

This is a quick post to let you know that I will be on vacation from July 26th through August 9th.

I will be on vacation from my social media, and email during this time, too. If you contact me during this time, please keep this in mind. I have not taken a vacation from social media …. EVER! Well, since I began using it in 2007 or 2008.

With the current situation we will not be traveling anywhere, but I hope to take advantage of this amazing place we call home, to read, read, read, and just take some time to not feel like I need to post something, or feel like I need to engage with others.

There may be a few previously scheduled blog posts that publish during this time (if I get them scheduled before the 26th).

Thank you! – Camilla