Monday Night Poetry – Mermaids of the Sea – Camilla’s Birthday

February 27 2024

My poetry friends sang me Happy Birthday last night, and treated me like a Queen. ❤️❤️❤️ Full house last night, with wonderful poetry shared.

Lillian wrote a poem for me; which I shared. It was a hit! (Lillian is my 22 year old special needs daughter) She totally understood the assignment. 😁

The mermaids of the sea bow down
To the queen of the oceans
Bravely dancing

In the seas of love and the heart of kindness
Dances the braveness of the mermaid
Of my heart of friendliness

Swimming into the dancing sea of stars
The mermaid dances to the song
Of life bravely and free
To the mermaids of sea
Lillian Darnell – 2024

I wrote a poem titled, “Me”. I’ll share that one in a separate post.

Sexy Grown Folks Poetry – Surrender

February 25 2024

Last night was a freaking blast. Sexy, steamy fire was delivered by all!!! 🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥🔥 I wrote two poems. Here’s one.

Bones of it written in June 2023, with new material added February 24 2024

Surrender

I will not settle down
I will not behave.
I will give myself amnesia
For how I was taught
I’m supposed to be

I will begin to remember anew
Making my way
With Authenticity
Waking every day
Expressing myself real and raw

Let my gravity
Be the force
That pulls you
To me

I feel it.
It’s pure ecstasy.
As my body dissolves into yours.

Pure ecstasy
I quiver with it.

You feel it.
It’s pure ecstasy
Pure ecstasy
You feel like you will explode.

You want it
I want it
I want your touch
A touch that makes the little hairs on my arm rise

I want your feel
I want to run my fingers along
every inch of your body

I want your scent
A scent that stays with me,
Lingers in my clothes, my hair
And on my body

I want the taste of you
In my mouth
I want my taste buds to
Memorize you
So my mouth waters when you’re near

Your beautiful soft skin
Deep dark eyes
Thick black eye lashes
Luscious, full lips
Warm, bright smile.

The more I get
The more I want
The more you get
The more you want
The more we get
The more we want.

You want my lips
You want my body
You want my eyes gazing into yours
You want to see my warm smile
You want me pressed against you.

Luscious, passionate kisses
Soft caressing of my body,
of your body,
Your touch, your kisses, make me lose control
My legs wrapped around your body
Makes you lose control.

Desire filled embraces
Hands intertwined
Gazing deep into
each other’s eyes.

Our plump lips
Gently touching
Mouths open
Tongues touch
Excites, ignites.

Every kiss
Reminding me
What it’s like to empty my mind
To let go

Kisses of molasses that leave a trail
Of rose petals scattered
On the trail to my heart

Clothes come off
Bodies become one
The heat increases
Hands sliding and gripping
The pleasure so intense
Audible groans of pleasure.

Bodies quiver
Bodies come together as one
Embrace, kissing passionately
Gazing into each other’s eyes.

Bodies climax together
They relax into each other’s embrace
They snuggle closely
Relaxing into each other’s touch.

I feel it
You feel it
The more we get
The more we want.
Camilla Downs

The Path of the Heart – Monday Night Poetry

February 14 2024

Another fantastic Monday Night Poetry. I 🖤 these beautiful, creative folks. 🥰🥰🥰

I shared an oldie from 2018.

The Path of the Heart

The path back home seems littered with suffering and struggle.

What is this insane ability to cause
one’s self such suffering?

Suffering by way of the thoughts
that dart
here and there,
at times penetrating the soul as if they
were a cold, jagged knife.

When one golden day the tides of change
bring the knowing that the path
is also littered with Love.

A Love shining remarkably bright and clear,
suffering seems almost
not to have happened.

The path of Love
The path of suffering
The path of struggles
The path of Joy
The path of Harmony
The path of irritation
The path of guilt
The path of Peace.

All the same path
The path that we each travel.
Made to seem different
by way of the
degree of suffering we endure.
Made to seem different until that glorious day
that we learn
to love ourselves
and
to love one another through everything that happens.

For the things that happen will still be;
yet, the perception
of each will shift
the more the one
loves one’s self through the things.

The path of Love.
The path we all shall arrive upon one sweet day.
Oh, glory be. We shall see.

November 17 2018

Poetry: The Age of Pleasure

February 10 2024

Written June 2023

The Age of Pleasure

Since the time she was a teen,
Fast and intense
Have been the path
For relationships, friendships or otherwise.

Born from messages
Received as a child
Taught, learned, observed,
taken as her own
Not seen,
Not important,
Her heart’s desires not honored.

At the young age that she is
She’s determined
To drain these old wounds
This old trauma.

She no longer wishes to live
This life from things
That happened to her as a child
Things that were done to her as a child
And the emotional presence withheld from her as a child.

With the help of a bad ass therapist
She’s doing it differently
She’s approaching relationships with fresh eyes.

Relationships in her teens and 20’s
Happened incredibly fast, unhealthy,
Withering on the vine of life.

She has learned that the part of her
That is impatient, wanting fast results
Fast results that make her feel important, seen, wanted, desired
All that nonsense is from her past, yet if feels familiar

And part of her still had been craving that,
The part operating from trauma.
She recognizes this now
And declares, “No fucking more!”

This declaration brings with it
Excitement
Anticipation
Lightness
FREEDOM

And Freedom’s just another word
For Nothing Left to Lose.

This is the time for new beginnings
The time for doing it differently
Meeting life in this moment
Not from hurts or trauma of the past
Not with biased future visions
Fully meeting this moment.
The Age of Pleasure.

New connections, built slowly, with patience
With intention, with authenticity, with clarity.

Connections with kindred spirits
Ready to have fun together
Ready to share joy together
Ready to share sadness together
Ready to share all the feels together
Ready to share the ride of getting
To know one another.

Sweet friendships
Sweet connections
Sweet lovers
Sweet partners
Born of patience, honesty, openness.

Although there will be jolts
Of falling into the ways of old
She will know the difference of
Responding to old shit
And responding to the dopamine hit
Of kindred spirit connections
When of the latter
She will fully meet that moment
With wild abandon.

She’s decided to be in this moment
On its way, slow and gentle
Or fast and intense

While at the same time, holding space for those who aren’t yet ready

May those who are ready saunter on board
This Meeting of the Moment
As we sail into the mystic. – Camilla Downs

June 13 2023

**You’re 50’s**

Poetry – Feeling the Breeze

January 6 2024

Feeling the Breeze – ( Written in. July 2023 for Pride month)

May of 2023 a series of
Positive, healthy changes came together.
Having to do with my mental,
physical and emotional health.

When that happened the part of me that I put
To sleep 15 years prior, woke up.
Wide open, burning, tingling, on fire,
Inviting the rest of me to wake the fuck up,
Get out, do shit, meet people,
Have fun, live life!

For a year and a half I sat in my car
For the hour long appointment that my teenager
Had every other Monday.
A 5 minute drive from the location
Of Monday Night Poetry

This new chapter of my life began the day
I chose not to sit in the car for that hour,
The day I stepped into
The door of Shim’s Surplus,
Attending my first spoken views collective poetry event.

For me, Pride means

I am a safe person
I am a safe space
If you need a warm, loving hug
I will happily share one with you

For me, Pride means

I have a little bit of anger
At times a lot of anger
About not being exposed to the full
Spectrum of relationships and sexuality
As a young person

Sadness over what might of been
With my life had I known
There wasn’t just one way to be
And one way to love.

For me, Pride means

Embracing my neurospicy,
Pisces, sexually diverse self.

A little bit chaos
A little bit edgy
A little bit shy
A little bit bold
A little bit gypsy
A little bit mermaid
A little bit hippy
A little bit witchy
A little bit enchantress
A little bit seductress.

Actually though, I am undefinable
And I will not define others.

Living life on my terms
Meeting life in this moment
Doing what I am moved to do
Saying what I am moved to say
Feeling whatever arises

My eyes wide open
I’ve broken free from the shackles
Of tradition
I’ve opened the windows

Feeling the breeze on my skin
Blowing through my hair
Blowing through my thoughts
Blowing through my heart

Breaking free from the conditions
Of a childhood of constraint
Of not being seen
Not being heard

In fear of rejection
In fear of doing it wrong
In fear of not being understood
Not being appreciated
wanted
desired
loved.

Feeling the breeze
I’m releasing the traumas of the past.
Knowing when I am responding or living from the old me.
Still falling back into those old ways
The old fears of not being wanted, desired, loved.
Yet catching it when it happens.
Saying to myself, Nah girl.
Your worth does not come
From whether or not they like your posts on the gram
Whether they text or not
That’s old shit.

So I take young Camilla by the hand
Reminding her she is loved, wanted, and desired
That this does not come from them
It is a given, already there.
And this brings liberation, FREEDOM
And Freedom is just another word
For nothing left to lose.

I’m letting it in
No one else can do this for me
Living my life from this point forward
Til I can live it no longer

Being attracted to whoever the hell I want to be attracted to,
Without feeling shame or feeling like I’m wrong.
Breaking free from the the traditional concepts of what it
Means to be in a relationship with another.
Ready to have fun with kindred spirts, be playful, hold on loosely,
Exploring, being open
Ready to be touched
Ready to touch
Sparking deep connections
Heart to heart conversations
Connecting with those kindred spirits
Holding space for those I love to be who they are, love who they love.

Conditioning, traditions, shame, being afraid to make a mistake
I’m treating myself to throwing those
Bitches into the ocean
To be liberated by her depths.

Feeling the breeze on my skin
Blowing trough my hair
Blowing through my thoughts
Blowing through my heart

Living life with my heart wide open
Words unspoken, flowing forth

Shared with chosen ones
Who wish to hear them.

**Note**

“I have a little bit of anger
At times a lot of anger
About not being exposed to the full
Spectrum of relationships and sexuality
As a young person”

This does not mean that this information was intentionally withheld from me. I was just not exposed to it. However, when I was exposed to it, it was ridiculed and mocked.

Meet Those Edges With Love and Laughter

December 30 2023

2018 End of Year Poem:

The Ride of Life

No longer riding on the merry go round,
She celebrates whenever she wants,
She laughs when it’s funny,
And sometimes when it’s not funny,
She cries when the tears want to flow,
She eats breakfast for dinner,
She dances in the aisles,
She hands out hugs
Like Halloween candy,
She hugs the trees,
She meets her edge,
She stays with the experiences of life,
She lives.
And so it is.
xoxo
🎉🎉🎉

May you meet your edges in 2024, surrounded by joy, laughter, and oceans of love. xoxo