Throwback Post: The Evolution of a Coincidence

**THROWBACK POST**

January 24 2018:

Coincidences? Do you see them as signs or messages? Or just something random that happened?


(Camilla and Lillian at Washoe Lake – 2014)

On the Lillian and Camilla date day yesterday, I was only going to buy one order of parmesan, sea salt fries and share them with Lillian.

Not because I wasn’t hungry. It’s just what finances dictate at the moment. When we picked up our fries, we were told they made double the order of fries and so sorry, but the box would not close. No worries! We’ll fix that!

We ended our date with a stop at Kohl’s to get Lillian some new undies. That girl is growing! She grows slow, but it happens!

She has sensory difficulties and when one finds clothing that does not irritate, one must stick with that brand and style! Well, they aren’t cheap either! $25 for 3 pairs. She needed two packages of 3 pairs.

I had a coupon for 15% off that had just expired by about two days. The cashier let me use it anyway and I had a $5 off coupon on my phone, but my phone decided to go dead while in the store.

The lady behind us said she had the same coupon on her phone and we could use it as she wasn’t going to need it. We had returned Christmas gifts that didn’t work out and had money from that. So, for $12 we got $50 worth of undies! Wahoooo!!!

I choose to believe that coincidences are not random happenings. With choosing to believe this, I notice them happening more often, and they inspire and encourage me, and add fuel to the core of my being. I make something my intent .. And the coincidences line up so that what I intend comes to fruition. And, so it is. Bring me more please … xoxo

**December 2022 Update** – About 7 years of economic anxiety. That’s how long this lasted. It ended in the beginning of 2020, but it definitely took a toll on my mental health. I completed crashed in 2020, finally not having to worry and struggle nearly every single day. 

Honestly, we still live below poverty level. But when you go from no income to some income, it’s like you’ve won the lottery! I’m grateful I had taken the time to put myself in a place of being able to gracefully move through all of those years. 

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 21 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 17 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

 

Throwback Post: Letting Go of the Thoughts and Stories

**THROWBACK POST**

January 19 2016:

Yesterday I let go of “The Desk” (the new term we’ve coined for my desk that’s been in storage limbo since June 2015). The Desk was handmade for me some time around 1999. I spent countless hours at that desk. The Desk witnessed many moves, life happenings, and events.

One day last week I had a strong knowing that I was to let it go. Not only that, but I knew the exact person who was to receive The Desk. I related this to a quote that had crossed my path last week.

“Make like a tree and let the dead leaves drop.” – Rumi 

 

The Desk had become a “dead leaf” for me. I chose to let it go so as to create new fertile ground for creativity and imagination. What had become a dead leaf for me has now created new grounds for the creativity and imagination of a friend; for she had to let go of her own “dead leaves” to make way for the new.

Before I had the strong knowing that I was to let go of The Desk, I was struggling with doing just that. One moment I had confusion, the next moment I knew that since there was such confusion about it, I must let it go.

Thomas and I delivered it to her on Monday and it was let go with no regrets. We had fun doing it too! Laughing and giggling while getting the desk on a handtruck, pushing it to the car, and getting it into our little Rosey.

Sharing this with love and encouragement that you let go of thoughts, stories, or material items so as to make way for the new.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 21 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 17 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Throwback Post: Spend More Time With Them

**THROWBACK POST**

This would have been some time in 2015 or 2016. Not sure of the exact date.


(Photo from Pexels)

Since July I have been making it a point to set “coffee dates” with people I already know and have a friendship with and people I know only from facebook who share a similar path.

This is what I have to say about that and how meaningful I think it is for everyone.

Those times when you’re spending time with those who you feel completely and utterly yourself with, talking about things that are meaningful to all of you, with those who get you.

Those times when two and a half hours feels like 30 minutes. Those times when you are saying goodbye all the way out the door and to their cars as they leave …

I got to have one of those afternoons and it blessed my heart and soul. Thank you Melinda Bourke Blackwell and Barbara Richmond Chastain. Our time together today was inspiring and we overflow with gratitude for your support of Thomas and his upcoming book. xoxo

**November 2021 Update** I miss those times. The pandemic put a hold on coffee and lunch chats. I will cherish it when we resume these wonderful blessings!

What about you? Do you know that feeling I’m talking about?

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 20 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Throwback Post: Interconnectedness of Kindness and Intuition

**THROWBACK POST**

March 11 2016

Yesterday afternoon Thomas and I were looking at an ad that came in the mail from Bed, Bath and Beyond. On the front cover is a Himalayan salt lamp. I told Thomas I’ve been wanting a votive candle holder or a lamp for years and one day I’m gonna have one.

This afternoon I received a message from a friend that a little something had just been left on the porch. WOW! I sent a message thanking her and shared the story above.

Her reply, “I got that flyer in the mail too. It made me think of you.” I don’t think I had voiced to anyone except Thomas that I wanted one of these. It’s just beautiful and magical when synchronicity shows up like this … When we listen to our intuition.

I have had this happen as the giver as well. For me it has been an inner nudge to share a quote, a passage from a book, or simply to reach out. It’s always a blessing for both the giver and receiver … as when we give, we receive.

Even in instances where we never hear back from the recipient. That doesn’t matter. There was a reason for the inner nudge. We don’t always need to know the reason. Years ago I shared with Thomas that if we are moved to reach out, to share kindness, we should never let fear of the receiver not responding or openly appreciating the act, stop us. Someone will benefit. The giver, the receiver, someone who witnessed … someone. xoxoxoxo

**October 2021 Update – I still have this lovely gift, gracing our dining table.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 20 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Throwback Post: Life is Like a Maze – Lillian Darnell

**THROWBACK POST**

I have no idea when Lillian shared this with me. It was either in 2017 or 2018.


(Photo from an October 2020 Date Day with Thomas)

Hey there! Imagine a maze with dead ends and straight lines. Every bad thing that happens takes you to a dead end even if it seems to be leading in a straight path. Every good thing that happens takes you to the correct path. The entrance is you come in the maze as a newborn and the exit is your soul exiting and reentering as someone or something.

I told the shortened version to Camilla this morning and it had just came to me. Think of your life like this and your life should be easier to live. – Lillian Darnell

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Reblog: Beautiful and Wild With Mother Nature

December 31 2020

Beautiful last sunset of 2020!

January 7 2021

Wild n crazy clouds yesterday.

  

January 7 2021

Thomas and I went for a much needed walk this afternoon. Mother Nature is simply the best.

   

Follow the link to see more photos …

Beautiful and Wild With Mother Nature

Throwback Post: This is the Space

**THROWBACK POST**

March 21 2019


(Photo from August 2021 Walk)

This is the space I was in Tuesday night … I sat to write as I felt overwhelmed with the enormity of circumstances and unclear how to proceed.

When it’s my own internal struggles and turbulence I have learned to lean into it, be with it, and try to remember to keep love at the forefront of whatever it is.

What I have not learned is how to do this when someone I love dearly is struggling and I don’t have clarity about how to help them and feel deeply inadequate for the task. Especially when there are two someones struggling. And, sometimes, struggling at the same time.

This is what lies at the forefront of the current journey. It’s definitely not a pleasant place to be. Yet, offers much opportunity to continue to move through one’s own journey while at the same time holding space for those closest to you as they travel their own journey.

I went to bed shortly after writing this. I woke up feeling lighter and more at peace than I had in nearly a week. I also knew which first steps to take in helping my loved one and I took it. PSR Through Writing …. That’s what I call it. Peace Solutions Relief …. Through Writing ..

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest News: Taking Time to Relax

August 4 2021

I decided it was about damn time and okay if I just relax, and do nothing. Very hard for me. I’m used to always feeling I’m being useful, researching, advocating for Thomas or Lillian, creating some form of art – whether it’s writing or creating art in some form, or being out exploring Mother Nature. This is okay, Camilla.

I know I’m not alone in the stories, the narratives that we tell ourselves when it comes to doing absolutely nothing. I know that these times are necessary and needed in order for me to refuel, refilling my cup. I am a master at serving from a depleted cup. This is not something that one would want to master.

Knowing this does not stop the narrative, the anxious feeling that I should be doing something other than taking time to just gaze at the sky, listening to the sounds of life. What is valuable to master is having these nagging thoughts and feelings, letting them be, while still allowing time to do absolutely nothing. I will work at mastering that as long as it takes.

I’m taking a lesson from 14 year old Camilla, on the beach in Florida. I know she wasn’t worried about doing something other than sitting in the sand, gazing at the place where the ocean and sky meet one another …


(Camilla – 1984 Summer Vacation – Florida)

How about you? What narrative creeps into your thoughts when seeing to yourself?

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Throwback Post: It Was A Crummy Day

**THROWBACK POST**

I’m not sure of when this was written … 2017, 2018, or could have been in 2019 ??? (When I changed hosting companies in 2020, I lost the original dates for my draft posts.)

I wrote this last night before going to bed. I needed to process. I needed to hear, through the writing, the outcome. I’m on the other side of it now. I’m at peace and ready to put one foot in front of the other. I’m ready to view this with curiosity and anticipation.

Simply sharing with you … as … that’s what I do. I write. I share. And, I do this for you to take away whatever it is that fits your space in this moment. As I finish this preface to yesterday’s writing, I’m hearing Nina Simone’s, “Here Comes the Sun” serenading me …

“Today was such a crummy day. I was incredibly grateful I took the long walk this morning. And that it was such a beautiful, blissful, and magical walk. I didn’t want to go. I wanted to put it off until Thursday or Friday. I am deeply thankful I didn’t put it off as it laid the foundation for processing such a crummy day!

Such is this journey of life. Some days there will be huge disappointment. Some days great expansion and joy. I choose to feel all the feels. The sharp, biting anger and depths of sadness over disappointment and the bliss of magical joy in moments like yesterday.

Interestingly the weather matched me perfectly. The weather seemed to say, “There’ll be days like this. Oh, yes. Days like this.”

I breathe in this disappointment. I breathe it into my entire being, feeling the pings and pangs as it slithers its way through my body. During the walk yesterday in the biting cold and wind, I did what would help me move this through. I screamed to the wind and the trees, WTF am I supposed to do, and some other shi* filled language!!

By the end of the day, I know I am strong enough to keep going and wise enough to allow and know the solutions, and capable enough to do what needs to be done.

My heart and mind are open to accepting that this is not supposed to happen and that it is ultimately in my highest and best interest that it did not happen. As much as I desire to control this and have the outcome I envision, it is not to be.

I shall allow the anger, sadness, and grief to move through me and allow myself to feel it. The old me used to either deflect it or just kind of shove it over in the corner of my cells somewhere. Nice and snug.

I’ve spent many uncomfortable and painful years excavating, breaking free, and releasing loads of anger, sadness, and grief buried in my bones and cells from childhood and teenage years. I’m not about to start burying that crap again!

Once I’m done feeling it all, I will send it love. I will send myself love. I will love myself through to the other side of this. I will keep loving. I will keep smiling. I will keep dancing. I will keep walking. I will keep writing. Where’s my boogie shoes? Gimme my laptop. Time to go to Funkytown!”

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Throwback Post: Compassion Has Replaced Judgments

**THROWBACK POST**

I think this was written in 2017, not sure.


(Photo from a Summer 2021 Walk)

The space within me that held the weight of so many judgments … Judgments against people who thought and felt differently, judgments against single moms, judgments against parents whose kids act out and the kids too.

Every single time one of those judgments was released, a cushion of compassion took its place. There are still some wee judgments hiding in there. Some that stay hidden and some that peek out to see if it’s safe. Within me is not a safe zone for judgments … You are released and a warm, soft, loving cushion of compassion takes your place.

There is a space within
A space occupied, it was.

Occupied with judgment
Occupied with harshness
Occupied with unkind thoughts
towards others.

There is a space within
where the darkness
of judgment used to live.

Judgement lives
here no more.
Evicted.
It has been.

There is a space within.

A soft space of love
of compassion
of empathy
of understanding.

For a journey
of a thousand miles has
been lived with
the understanding
that each one of us
has traveled a similar journey.

To be sure,
not the same journey.
No, not the same.
That matters not.

Each has traveled a journey
of a thousand miles.

And each viewed not
according to their journey,
yet viewed with eyes
that flow from the heart.

A heart that knows the two
are connected,
viewed with eyes flowing
from the heart that only
knows unconditional love.

Eyes wide open to
the Truth of each one’s journey.

The Truth that judgment of another is
simply a reflection of judgment
held within one towards oneself.

There is a space within,
a space that was once filled with
the darkness of judgement.

A space that is now
available for compassion
and love for one’s self and others.

Space to breath easier
Space to live easier
space to live peacefully
Space to allow all to BE
and travel the paths chosen.

There’s a space within
a Beautiful Space.

May we all release
and expose this space within
for the Beauty it reveals.

July 2021 Update – So many more judgments have been released since this writing and poem. It’s hard to believe just how many judgments were hiding in the nooks and crannies of my mind. Each time I find them, I educate myself, and release. And you know what? Each time I release judgments, it lightens the load, paving the way to an easier time of being a kind human. 

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.