Throwback Post: If You Can Walk Through It


November 2016

My art fortune from Pan received earlier this month. Things got crazy busy with Biggest Little Photographer and this got buried in papers. Just came across it again.

I had just met Pan minutes earlier. He did not know the ideas that come to me daily nor that walking is so deeply intertwined with who I be.

Win the day, I have to say, forthcoming, will be the way. …… Walk With Me and Lessons from Nature ….. I AM Ready …. xoxo


(I recently changed the hosting company for this website, along with all other websites I manage. In the aftermath, my draft posts got deleted. Oh no! Fortunately, they were in the back up and could be reinstalled. However, the original draft dates were deleted. I’m taking that as a sign that it’s time to do cleanup and housekeeping.)


See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

How Writing Helps Me With Parenting

Writing has been a sanity saving bridge which has led from processing parenting experiences to peace and solutions. Single parenting two children led me on a journey for which I have no map. Through writing, I create the map as I travel this wild and wonderful parenting safari.

My parenting journey has included many life lessons disguised as sinkholes, road blocks, and dead ends. My daughter, Lillian, was diagnosed at age 3 years old with a rare condition called 18p-. This chromosome deletion only affects 1 in 56,000 people. Her sibling, Thomas, is a strong willed empath who either speaks his mind or holds how he feels inside until he explodes. In 2006 I became a single parent to them, lost nearly everything, and was forced to file bankruptcy.

I have been single parenting Thomas and Lillian for the past twelve years. Lillian is 17 years old now and the main way that 18p- affects her is an inability to articulate words, anxiety, chronic pain, irrational fears, and difficulty processing strong emotions. Thomas is 13 years old with his own difficulties of being a sibling to Lillian and puberty has hit him full throttle.

Writing led me to peace and acceptance of my role as parent to these two unique and beautiful children. Writing brought peace and solid steps to take in regards to medical issues, schooling, and emotional challenges faced by Thomas and Lillian. In some situations, writing was not the only factor; yet, it has been a shining thread of grace that connected my heart and mind along this parenting journey. And still is.

Several factors led to a loosely held practice of writing every day. When I became a single parent I intuitively felt moved to learn the practice of mindfulness, meditation, and journaling.

My practice of going for a walk three times a week also solidified into a committed practice of noticing and immersing in nature. All of these practices combined with the writing practice opened my eyes to a different style of parenting, a more focused and connected style.

My laptop became the couch I rest upon; while writing of my experiences became the therapist. This also serves as a tool for me to sync with life and for giving myself feedback for those experiences. Writing became an avenue to connect with and release the myriad of emotions and experiences of parenting.

The writing becomes an observer of my experiences. One that allows me to step away from the situation by pouring my heart onto the digital pages. I feel we all know in our heart the solution to tough parenting situations; or at the least, what would be the better of available options.

Although I choose to publicly share much of my experiences through writing, one does not have to write with the intention of sharing with others. The very act of writing about experiences and feelings is deeply therapeutic. There are many writing practices from which to choose. Writing with pencil and paper, using a laptop, writing in the morning, in the evening, in silence, while listening to music, at home, in a cafe, in nature … You get the idea.

The how, when and where is a completely personal preference. The portion of the practice I have found to work best for me and those I have mentored is to first get centered in one’s heart. If you find yourself stumbling and no words flowing; this is a sign you are still centered in your mind.

Take three long, deep breaths and gently release whatever thoughts you may be having. Begin to write about the parenting issue facing you. Write about your feelings and thoughts on the issue. Once you feel finished with this portion, stop for a moment. Take three long, deep breaths once again dropping your focus into the heart.

Next, write these six words … “What do I need to know?” Don’t hesitate. Just write. Write until the words are no longer flowing. Write no matter how wacky or scary this may seem. Write no matter what crazy thoughts come to mind. Write those too.

For some of you this may not be concrete enough and seem like “fluff”; and for you, it simply may not work. Yet, I’m betting that more than half of those who try this will at least feel at peace with the situation and at most know what actions to take that are in everyone’s highest and best interest.

I have experienced parenting guidance in this way and have seen others receive peace and guidance as well. If you aren’t accustomed to writing, it may take a while to grease the writing wheels. Don’t give up. Try it for at least a month. No one has to see what you write. Delete it, tear it up, shred it, crumple and stomp on it, burn it, eat it, whatever.

Write. Write and watch the transformation of becoming a more connected and focused parent. Not only that. Write and watch the transformation as you begin to trust yourself and become more at peace with life.

©2019 Camilla Downs

See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo

My Entire Life Dissolved

The Dissolution

On Tuesday, 12.3, my entire life dissolved. It simply disappeared like sugar in boiling water. Who I am, who I thought myself to be disintegrated. In my mind’s eye, I could see creations and events literally crumbling. Have you ever had that happen?

Being me, I view this as the only way I know how … As a deeply spiritual experience. And I am grateful to be traveling this path … uncomfortable experiences, and all.

It left this one saturated with confusion and pain. I had been sobbing on and off for the past week, lost in this confusion, attempting to find the way out. Desperately trying to figure out the solution, the way to fix it. I did not want this uninvited guest.

Only a week later did I realize what happened on the previous Tuesday, and chose to use the “love and embrace” practice, everything that arises, everything one finds oneself in the midst of experiencing.

I turned into the confusion and despair with love and welcomed it like a long lost friend. When I woke up the next morning, the feeling of heaviness, confusion, and anxiety of needing to figure out the situation had lifted.

It’s not an easy task to embrace and welcome an uninvited guest, to turn an uninvited guest into an invited guest. Yet, you know what I learned? When we do this the uninvited guest delivers what it came bearing and must depart to remain the uninvited guest.

That was one freaking wild ride. Is it all figured out now? Well, on some level it is. I just don’t consciously know the solution yet. For now, I am at peace being in the space of not knowing …. Oceans of love …. xoxo

P.S. … I understand if this post brings forth feelings of sadness. Although I felt sad in the midst of it, there is no need for sadness on the other side of it .. I consider what happened a deeply spiritual experience and I treasure it. I feel there is incredible wisdom and power within confusion. And when we experience what we thought to be our life and who we are dissolving in our minds eye; it’s the beginning of BEing who we truly are …. At least, that’s what I’m going with! Hahaha!

The Final Straw

An hour or two before this happened, someone close to me and whom I love deeply, said this to me in a passionate conversation ….

“You are just in denial about how much your life sucks.”

My immediate response was that I choose not to view my life in this way. I choose to see all there is for which to be grateful and to enjoy the present moments of life. Even though there are moments when I sink into how restricted I feel by circumstances. I further commented I cannot view it any other way. For, should I choose to see it on a consistent basis as “my life sucks”, I feel that would be giving up on myself ….

However, this one statement was the final straw in bringing forth this spiritual experience. It was needed to open my heart further, needed to show me that there are areas where I still turn away from discomfort; rather than embracing it in all of it’s “sucky” darkness.

I feel this minute or so video touches on what I experienced … 

See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here for latest posts.

Walk With Me – Journey to the Center of My Soul

Recently, I had the experience of one of my 40 minute meditation sessions feeling like it was only 5 minutes. I am always in awe when that happens. I find it incredibly magical … xoxo

Afterwards I wrote this; which will be the opening for my next book (Go here for information about my first book). Sharing this sneak peak with all of you … It’s still in rough draft status; yet, I was moved to share. Perhaps someone needs to see a word or two from this …

Walk with Me
Journey to the Center of My Soul

I had a choice to make.

I could choose not to even go near or open the door that would lead to the awakening of my true self. I could continue living life as I had been, seemingly happy and seemingly enjoying life.

Or I could choose to open that golden, larger than life door. The magical door that would lead the way to truly living life. A life of feeling all there is to feel – every single bit of it. A life of strapping into the gigantic see-saw of this path and riding my way through pain, despair, sadness, unhappiness, joy, peace, love, and bliss.

I did it. And I did it ever so gently. There was no transcendental moment with angels singing and everyone welcoming me. Well, maybe not in this dimension anyway.

I made the choice of the magical, golden door. So began the journey to the Center of my Soul.

Little did I know that once I entered through the door’s archway, and closed it behind me; that there would be no turning back. No matter how many times and how deeply I thought I wanted to turn back during this journey; I could not un-know what I was beginning to Know.

I strolled through that doorway thinking it would be easy and that I could control this the way I thought I controlled the rest of my life. Eventually, I learned that life is not something to be controlled. Living life is to let go and let it happen. Let go; yet take action when intuitively and heart inspired. Take action minus the need for controlling and minus attachment to the outcome.

This has been, and continues to be, a journey of opening my heart. A heart that closed as a very young child; perhaps even a heart that had been closed for many lifetimes. Every book I’ve read, movie I’ve watched, date day taken with my kids, every healer that I’ve worked with, and every walk taken has been in perfect timing to lead me to the next step of opening my heart.

I ultimately arrived at the place of knowing I was to love whatever comes into my experience. I haven’t always known what that meant. I thought I did. I did not understand how one is to “love” whatever is happening, or whatever one is feeling.

I now get that life is not here to fulfill me. I am here to fulfill life. There are absolutely days when I forget all of this. I’m still traveling this path. I fall back into old habits. Yet, the more I remember to love whatever is happening, the more my heart opens and the more I am able to share the One Love with all.

This also entailed letting go of my need to be bothered and to be upset by others and situations. Letting it go, by loving it as it came into my experience. This meant loving the un-lovely feelings that bubble forth during these times.

Loving the feelings absolutely does not mean to pour positivity over them and squish them back down to the place from which they came forth. It means simply, telling yourself over and over, “I love you”, to your own heart. And it means letting yourself physically feel these un-lovely feelings. It is truly amazing and life shifting to do this for oneself.

As a young girl my favorite and most loved fairy tale was the one where the down trodden princess was finally seen and loved for who she is by a dashing prince. And then this dashing prince whisks her away to her hearts delight wherein she lives life the way she chooses, forever in joy and peace and fun. I carried this with me into adulthood.

Now as I look back on this, I can see I was waiting for life to fulfill me. I see I was waiting for some “other” to see me, love me, tell me I am worthy, tell me they believe in me, and tell me they are sorry for wrongs done to me. And then for this other to place me in the perfect situation wherein I could control life and have experiences that would not take me out of my comfort zone.

Traveling this path of opening my heart, I have learned that we all need these words spoken to us by those closest to us and those not close to us alike. Yet, as importantly, we also need to speak these words to our self. Especially when we did not hear them as a child; or heard them very little during our young and tender years.

And, most especially when we are having unlovely experiences and feelings. That’s when we need it most. The more we do this for our self, the more our heart opens. And, the more our heart opens the more we come to realize that life’s journey is not about life fulfilling us. It is about us fulfilling life and sharing love in the way we came forth to share.

I invite you to walk with me through these pages. Walking, being in nature, and writing have been the magical ingredients for alchemizing experiences as I travel this path. Let’s go.

See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:
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Love and Hearts: Refuel and Nourish Your Body

Love Flakes Heart 5.23.18

Just as I refuel and nourish your physical body,
You must take action to refuel and nourish your emotional and creative body.

You cannot serve others if you are deeply depleted.

Creativity and improvising become clouded and stagnant when you are depleted.

You tell yourself you must continue, yet unless you give yourself time away from those who unknowingly drain you; your circumstances will not improve.

There are those in your life you simply cannot distance yourself and break free from due to your role as caregiver.

Yet, you can begin to schedule time to replenish and refuel so that you can be loving and compassionate in this role.

Take heed. This must be done for your mental and emotional health. And, it must be done for those you love.

The Cereal

(Written May 2018)

Well, lately I haven’t. Hence, this mornings message. I actually received it last night but this brought clarity. I had hit the point of no return last night. It hurt to even walk. I have been completely overwhelmed, sad, and absolutely not creative. And, this message is why. I am beyond empty. Deeply empty!! There aren’t even fumes to keep me going. I’ve been on empty for probably 2 years. I feel so much better having realized what’s going on and I took time to write this morning. I’ll be writing a blog post to expand on this so stay tuned.

See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:
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Fear Alchemized – Who Will Love Them Unconditionally?

Virginia Foothills Park Team TLC 2.2.18 #1

Who Will Love Them Unconditionally?

As she took in the message that family means much more than those whom she was born amongst, she felt deep sadness within for having not a close relationship with those whom, by blood, she is connected. A deep sadness also for having not friends or community that are like family.

A sadness that sank and spread to include sadness that her kids know not a close knit relationship with those whom one traditionally calls family. Sad that neither of her kids have an anointed or appointed person or person(s) who have committed to be there for them. Committed to mentor them, listen to them, and guide them should she leave this Earth space before they become adults.

The thought of this brings a cloud of darkness that she created this life in such a way that there are no others who are a part of their lives in a familial way. Whether that be by blood or simply shared humanness.

Who will they talk with should she not be around?

Who will continue to facilitate their journey for them until they take over facilitating their own journeys?

Who will ensure the well-being of the one with special needs?

Who will they share their life happenings with?

Who will unconditionally love them?

This is what brings forth this dark sadness. Not that she didn’t have a tribe surround and embrace her and her little ones when they were born into their human form. That does indeed cause sadness. Yet, the deep biting sadness is caused by fear of the future for her kids.

Virginia Foothills Park Team TLC 2.2.18 #5 Virginia Foothills Park Team TLC 2.2.18 #8

The Fear

Fear. Fear comes to us in so many different forms to rattle our hearts and minds. Fear disguises itself in such a way that, at times, we even miss that at the core of what we are feeling is fear.

Thoughts that she has failed are dropped by fear, like bombs in a war zone. Failed at being the parent that these kids need. Failed at opening herself to the friendships and kinships of others. Failed at providing and surrounding these kids with mentors, facilitators, and friendships. Failed to teach them how to cultivate and nurture friendships. Failure whispers these thoughts over and over as she withers within while they compound upon one another and weigh upon her Light.

The Alchemy

Behold. A still, small, whisper of a voice beneath the weight of fear’s thoughts awaits with strength, fortitude, and love for the perfect moment. The moment when this thought will gently rise to the surface of her heart and place a knowing that fear’s thoughts are simply smoke and mirrors. An illusion created by fear to distract her from the journey of the heart that she is traveling.

The voice of light, this voice of Love, gently embraces these fear thoughts, allowing her to physically feel them within her body. Once she has let herself feel the discomfort caused by these fear thoughts, the voice of Love swallows the fear thoughts and transmutes them into love and light and they are released to the stars, moon and sun to be scattered as the magical dust that makes up all of life.

She becomes fully aware that although fear would have her believe she does not have a tribe, that she does not have those whom unconditionally love her, those that support and cheer her on …. Love Knows this NOT to be the Truth. Love Knows.

Wilbur May Team TLC Walk 4.5.17 #6

And so she breathes in a deep and long breath, knowing that all is okay. All will be okay. And she breathes another breath. And she breathes and releases the smoke and mirrors that is fear. And, so it is …

See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:
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How to Be Peaceful

August Date Day with Thomas 9.6.16 #9

My life experience has taught the following for being peaceful:

  1. Meditation
  2. Intention to be peaceful
  3. Mindfully responding
  4. Nature

Meditation is at the core of being peaceful. I meditate between three to six days a week. My meditation practice is a mixture of different methods; which became much deeper and became more meaningful after I read, studied, and implemented the practices in the book, “Meditation for the Love of It” by Sally Kempton.

On November 9, 2016 I spoke on a parent panel at UNR to students in the medical field. The class is titled Serving Individuals with Disabilities and their Families.

I may falter at times, yet I will continue to do this. I will continue to live from my heart. Living from my heart means sharing my experience and point of view. Additionally, it means I will continue to meet anything that is the opposite of love with love and peace.

I will continue to spread love, compassion, and non-judgment as that’s the only way I know how to BE anymore. I may not always succeed at remaining peaceful, yet I know I did not come here to have an aggressive, hateful, and negative experience.

Even when I encounter others who have everything but kindness to share with me, I will leave my ego and mind and be in my heart. I will see past that person’s ego and see who they truly are. I will not argue. I will not go there.

I have two kids who watch how I react and how I show up in the world. I know that my words are meaningless without the living of those words.

The Monday before I spoke on the panel, I presented a “Peace Lesson” to a group of 4th-6th grade students. The first question I asked them after we defined peace was this: “Where do you think we find peace?” …

Only two students offered to answer. One said, “In a sanctuary”. I agreed with him that a sanctuary could certainly be a peaceful place. The other. The other. She knew. Her answer … “In our heart.” That wonderful girl read my heart …

Walk with Lillian Vintage Lake 11.14.16 #4

So … How to Be Peaceful:

I shared with the students that peace does not begin with “the other”. “BE the change we wish to see in this world” is not an empty meaningless quote for me. BEing the change does not start only after another person changes. We cannot force others to be peaceful.

One other suggestion I shared with the kids: When someone wraps a beautiful package and offers to give it to you as a gift, and you decline to accept that gift; who is the owner of that gift? The gift remains with the person who tried to give it to you.

What if you considered unkind comments from others as a gift they were attempting to give you? And you decided not to accept that gift? The gift would remain with that person.

I have taught Thomas and Lillian to respond to unkind comments with silence, or “Is that so?”, or “Okay” and to walk away. It truly, truly does not matter if that person thinks they are right. What matters is what you know in your heart and how you live and BE.

I gave an example from my own life. A couple of years ago, I was sitting next to someone who had been an everyday part of my life for ten years, someone I trusted and loved. That person chose to say over and over many unkind comments to me.

I finally turned to the person and said, “You know what? You are right about that. And you know what else? I have nothing but love to share with others and I will not argue. And, I am deeply sorry that you feel so unloved.”

Obviously, I didn’t and don’t agree that this person was right. I simply let him relax into the feeling that his ego so desperately needed. After that the “conversation” ended.

I do not mean to say that we ignore when we feel worry, anxiety, and fear. Absolutely NOT. FEEL those feelings, physically feel them. This does mean to dwell on the reason for the feelings. That will not have the desired affect. Focus on how it physically feels. Sit with them. No matter how painful. Cry a river of tears if that’s needed.

For when we let ourselves physically feel these emotions, we then, and only then, will release them. Go stand barefoot in the grass, dirt, sand, or rocks and let Nature help you uncover the peace that is within you.

It is truly magical. Oceans of love and hugs to everyone … xoxoxo

*This does indeed take practice. I have been practicing for years .. and I still falter at times. Most of us are going against how it is ingrained in us to respond. Additionally, this is the way I have chosen to be peaceful. It may not be the way you choose to do it. 


See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:
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10 Most Popular Posts for 2016


Top 10 Blog Posts With the Most Views (Culled only from 2016 blog posts)

  1. Dear Meltdown, Meet My Friend Mindfulness
  2. Biggest Little Photographer Arrives – We Did It
  3. Living in a Tiny Home Adventures – Four Months
  4. Photo a Day for 365 Days – Thomas’ One Year Anniversary
  5. The Power and Magic of Connected Parenting
  6. 2016 Chromosome 18 Conference – San Antonio
  7. A Rapturous Dance With Life
  8. The Biggest Little Photographer by Thomas Darnell
  9. The Tao of Letting GoLetting Go Burning Ceremony, and There is More Than One Way (These 3 blog posts had the same amount of views)
  10. A State of Pure Awareness

**LOVE OFFERING** If you find this content helpful, I invite you to toss a tip in the love offering bowl. With oceans of gratitude … Camilla ….


Top 10 Blog Posts With the Most Views for 2016 (Culled from all blog posts)

  1. Olive Oil as Facial Cleanser and Moisturizer – Oil Cleansing Method
  2. Recipe: No Powdered Sugar Cream Cheese Frosting
  3. Oil Cleansing Method – Update
  4. 17 Easy and Free Ideas on How to Rejuvenate Yourself
  5. Taste the Wind
  6. Dear Meltdown: Meet My Friend Mindfulness
  7. Recipe: Almond Flour Cookies
  8. Living in a Tiny Home Adventures
  9. Biggest Little Photographer Arrives – We Did It
  10. Recipe: Chia Seed Pudding

Top 10 Blog Posts of All Time With the Most Views

  1. Olive Oil as Facial Cleanser and Moisturizer – Oil Cleansing Method
  2. Recipe: Almond Flour Cookies
  3. Recipe: No Powdered Sugar Cream Cheese Frosting
  4. Help Team TLC With A Christmas Miracle
  5. 17 Easy and Free Ideas on How to Rejuvenate Yourself
  6. Oil Cleansing Method – Update
  7. I Wish I Wasn’t an 18p- Girl: Moment of Defeat – Take Two
  8. A Moment of Defeat
  9. Lillian and Being Different Presentation
  10. Creativity and Resourcefulness

Here’s to a 2017 in which we all go within to BE the change we wish to see in the world. BE Love, BE Peace, BE Compassion … We must BE this within in order to experience it without.



See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:
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Angel at the Farmer’s Market

(Every once in a while I receive a nudge to write in third person. This is another of those times.)


She had been dealing with a headache for 3 days now. She felt as if her body, inside and out, was covered in a thick and sticky sludge. A sludge full of all the reasons why she is wrong, inadequate, a loser, and a downright horrible person.

She thought back to the dream she had two weeks ago. She could not get away from a giant sink hole. Everywhere she went, this sink hole followed! One minute she’d be free of it and then she would purposely re-enter the force of it’s pull. She knew this was not just a random dream. The sink hole was a metaphor for how she’d been feeling about her life these past few weeks.

Then she was brought back to the present when she received a message from a friend that landed on a heart that she’d been slapping around and wringing like a sponge. It was exactly what her heart needed to hear and was the perfect message for her to receive in that moment. The divine message: “I love your positiveness and your love of life and love. You are a true inspiration to me.”

After dinner she went for a walk as she had missed her morning walk. It was an incredibly beautiful evening with magical clouds decorating the sky. She felt light and at peace. She smiled at the adults, kids, and people she passed. She spoke with them. She shared love with Gus, the dog. What a happy fellow he is. She felt like a streak of joy passing by everyone with brief stops to share with one another. Peace was with her through the rest of the night.

While sleeping that night she dreamed she was trapped in a house that kept creating sabotage after sabotage. She finally escaped only to re-enter the house as she had left something inside. At this point she woke up and she knew once again that this was a metaphor.

During her morning meditation she focused on connecting with and releasing this sludge. Memories of being trapped as a child came to her. She decided that it’s time to clear her heart and soul of this sludge, return it to the ether. It’s no longer hers, she no longer needs it.

“The memories of the past are not part of the present moment,” she told herself. “I am not trapped. I am free. Free to live this life in peace and joy and free to release suffering. It’s time to let it go and let the light shine throughout my heart and soul. It’s time to have a heart and soul cleansing. A cleansing that will take with it the amnesia that has smothered the knowing of who ‘I Am'”.

She felt wonderful after meditation. She got everyone’s breakfast ready and went for her morning walk before taking her son to camp. It was a quiet, still, reflective morning.

After taking her son to camp she stopped by the Farmer’s Market to get a couple of fresh tomatoes. She walked right up to the stand she knew she wanted to visit. The wonderful farmer greeted her with a smile and compliments about her smile and outfit. She told him he could pick out two tomatoes for her, one for eating today and the other for tomorrow or the next day.

Tomatoes June 21 2016

She wrote a check as she had no cash on her. He looked at her name and tried pronouncing her first name. She let him know how to pronounce it correctly and he said both her first and last name out loud. He said, “That’s a special name. You should write poetry or be a writer of some type.” She looked at him, smiled, and with a warm heart said, “I am.”

They said goodbye and told each other to have a great day. And she left having just received a message, an answer to that for which she daily prays and meditates.

You’ll never receive answers if you aren’t expecting them. Ask for them. Expect them. You just may meet an Angel at the Farmer’s Market.

See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

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The Tao of Letting Go

“Make like a tree and let the dead leaves drop.” – Rumi

Surrendering and letting go are key to true happiness and success.

Letting Go of Material Items

Most of us have books (insert any other material item) that have been meaningful to us. These books were the perfect content for us to be reading at the perfect time. Yet, our path has continued and we are in a different place now and reading different material.

When we can let go of these material items from our past that were so meaningful, we make way for the newness of the NOW. Again, this can apply to any material item.

I have experienced this first hand when I cleaned and purged the garage and house in 2011. This led to many shifts for me to include writing and publishing a book. I shed about 20 pounds during the process and made the decision to become certified as a coach. The letting go is something that is felt on a physical, mental, and spiritual level within us.

Steps to ease the release:

  • Take a picture of the item if it holds dear memories
  • Bless the item and thank it for bringing joy into your life
  • Know that memories reside in your mind and not in the item
  • Hold a ceremony to do the above, release the item, and let it go

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu

Letting Go of Emotions

When uncomfortable memories re-surface, it may be that we did not and have not let ourselves physically feel that emotion. This applies whether it was years ago or days ago. If we take the time to focus on how it physically feels in our body and stick with it, not analyzing it or getting caught up in the story of it, the emotion will let go.

Steps to ease emotional release:

  • Be in a quiet location where you will not be disturbed
  • Focus on your breath. Taking three long breathes in and out.
  • Think about where you physically feel the emotion that accompanies the memory
  • When the mind wants to hook into the story of the emotion, gently release those thoughts
  • Remain focused on where you feel the emotion in the body and how it feels. Is it tight, sharp, throbbing, etc.?
  • Place focus in that area. Follow it as it moves around.
  • Place your hands in the area if that helps to focus on it
  • Breath into the area
  • If you are moved, send love to the area
  • Stay with it as long as you can or until it releases some or releases altogether

I have and do actively practice this as well. Neither one of these “Letting Go” practices are fun. Although the purging can have an “excitement and anticipation for the new” feeling and we can choose to approach this with curiosity. Yet, the benefits are that we are not held back from old deep thought patterns and stories.

**LOVE OFFERING** If you find this content helpful, I invite you to toss a tip in the love offering bowl. With oceans of gratitude … Camilla ….


We are free to be our true selves, to tap into the treasure within and allow a river of creativity to flow forth …. to be shared for the benefit of others. Love, Sweet Love … xoxo

Letting Go – Personally

Recently, I let go of “The Desk” (the new term we’ve coined for my desk that’s been in storage limbo since June 2015). The Desk was handmade for me some time around 1999. I spent countless hours at that desk. The Desk witnessed many moves, life happenings, and events. 

I had a strong knowing that I was to let it go. Not only that, but I knew the exact person who was to receive The Desk. I related this to the Rumi quote about which had crossed my path recently.

The Desk had become a “dead leaf” for me. I chose to let it go so as to create new fertile ground for creativity and imagination. What had become a dead leaf for me has now created new grounds for the creativity and imagination of a friend; for she had to let go of her own “dead leaves” to make way for the new.

Before I had the strong knowing that I was to let go of The Desk, I was struggling with doing just that. One moment I had confusion, the next moment I knew that since there was such confusion about it, I must let it go.

Thomas and I delivered it to my friend and it was let go with no regrets. Sharing this with love and encouragement that you let go of thoughts, stories or material items so as to make way for the new. 

This post was inspired by a client session followed by a blog post I read titled, “A Lesson in Letting Go”, from Sacred Science. There’s a wonderful letting go ceremony included in the blog post.

Interested in having me speak at an event or gathering on this topic? Contact me here. If you like my techniques and energy and feel you’d like guidance with living mindfully, please contact me. You can also visit this page to learn more.  

Heartfuly Inspired,
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

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