Throwback Post: Tree Blossoms

**THROWBACK POST**

Spring or Summer of 2016 – A time I spent months painting rocks, pairing with poems, which I then hand wrote on upcycled material made for hanging. That was fun! Thanks to all who purchased these way back then!

Tree Blossom Painted Rock May 2016

The Beauty of Blossoms

Your beauty is strong.
Your beauty entices me from the deep sleep of letting life live me.
Your beauty releases the darkness around my heart
Your beauty encourages and sustains whole heartedness.
Your beauty imparts strength and courage.
Your beauty is love.

(I recently changed the hosting company for this website, along with all other websites I manage. In the aftermath, my draft posts got deleted. Oh no! Fortunately, they were in the back up and could be reinstalled. However, the original draft dates were deleted. I’m taking that as a sign that it’s time to do cleanup and housekeeping.)

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

 

Nature’s Knowing – Words of Alchemy

Nature’s Knowing

As I am in your presence
I feel the weight
Of this body drift
Into the clouds.
My soul melds with
All that we are,
And drifts into the knowing
Of all that is, ever was
And ever will be.
When I’m with you,
The illusion of time
And solidity are no more.
Oh. Glory be.
We are we. We are one.
We are an eternity of
One love. -©Camilla Downs

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Nature is a Wonderful Guide

**THROWBACK POST** (Still housecleaning the blog. At least I’ve reached 2016 now!)


(Photos of us – Team TLC – 2016)

February 11 2016

“I think.
Lillian worries.
Camilla just is.”

Thomas wisdom shared last night as we were reading in my bed before going to sleep …

He had a rough day yesterday. He made a choice at school that caused an unlovely consequence.

On the ride home I let him know he could not use his digital time as he overused it in the morning. By the time we got home he was in much distress. He had a full blown meltdown when he got home and I knew we needed to go for a walk.

I shared how unhealthy it is to not let oneself feel and experience anger and other negative emotions. That we must find that place where we can let ourself feel it physically, being with it, and without hooking into the story of the negative emotion; which can cause us to be harsh with others.

Nature is a wonderful guide during times like these, times when we resist feeling the rawness of life. About an hour after our walk Thomas had settled into acceptance and we had a great night. May you take advantage of the gift of nature when needed. xoxo

*************

I needed this reminder today. I’ve been having a rough past two weeks.

I’m exhausted. My body aches. My back aches. My shoulders ache. My neck aches. My hips ache. I’m sad and I’ve been sobbing on and off all day. I’m deeply tired. 

And, I’d just really like someone else to take care of me and everything else for a week or two …

I know that this too shall pass … However, in the midst of this crud, is definitely an unlovely place to be. I’m glad I’m still housecleaning on my blog and that I came across this one.

Here’s to feeling all the feels … May they move on through …

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is still available. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo

 

Photography and Poetry: Wisdom Walk

Wisdom Walk

You wake me up
You shake me up
You see through me.

The colors you pair
for these eyes to see.
Reflect my true colors
back to me.

With each step
of these feet
onto your graceful
and ever receiving surface,
My love I impart to you.

I focus on a tree,
I focus on a cloud,
I focus on a flower,
My love I give
to you each time.

Your love message travels
through these eyes
to my heart and soul.

The message of love
and appreciation travels to you
through my essence.

Walks underneath the glow
of your beauty,
The shine of your
magnificence,

Is the Way of loving myself,
Is the Way of appreciating,
Is the Way of Knowing
that which I receive
are love messages
for thine own self.
©2019 Camilla Downs

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is arriving January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo

Poetry and Photography: The Path of the Heart

The Path of the Heart

The path back home
seems littered with
suffering and struggle.

What is this insane
ability to cause
one self such suffering?

Suffering by way of the
thoughts that dart
here and there,
at times stabbing
the soul as if they
were a cold, sharp knife.

When one golden day
the tides of change
bring the knowing
that the path
is also littered
with Love.

A Love shining so
bright and clear, that
the suffering seems almost
not to have happened.

The path of Love
The path of suffering
The path of struggles
The path of Joy
The path of Harmony
The path of irritation
The path of guilt
The path of Peace

All the same path
The path that we each travel.
Made to seem different
by way of the degree of
suffering we cause our self.

Made to seem different
until that glorious day
that we each learn
to love our self and
to love one another through
everything that happens.

For the things that
happen will still be
there; yet, the perception
of each will shift
the more the one
love’s oneself through
the things.

The path of Love.
The path we all
shall arrive upon
one sweet day.

Oh, glory be.
We shall see.
©️2018 Camilla Downs

(Photo Credit: Me)

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:
[catlist name=blog]

Walk With Me – Journey to the Center of My Soul

Recently, I had the experience of one of my 40 minute meditation sessions feeling like it was only 5 minutes. I am always in awe when that happens. I find it incredibly magical … xoxo

Afterwards I wrote this; which will be the opening for my next book (Go here for information about my first book). Sharing this sneak peak with all of you … It’s still in rough draft status; yet, I was moved to share. Perhaps someone needs to see a word or two from this …

Walk with Me
Journey to the Center of My Soul

I had a choice to make.

I could choose not to even go near or open the door that would lead to the awakening of my true self. I could continue living life as I had been, seemingly happy and seemingly enjoying life.

Or I could choose to open that golden, larger than life door. The magical door that would lead the way to truly living life. A life of feeling all there is to feel – every single bit of it. A life of strapping into the gigantic see-saw of this path and riding my way through pain, despair, sadness, unhappiness, joy, peace, love, and bliss.

I did it. And I did it ever so gently. There was no transcendental moment with angels singing and everyone welcoming me. Well, maybe not in this dimension anyway.

I made the choice of the magical, golden door. So began the journey to the Center of my Soul.

Little did I know that once I entered through the door’s archway, and closed it behind me; that there would be no turning back. No matter how many times and how deeply I thought I wanted to turn back during this journey; I could not un-know what I was beginning to Know.

I strolled through that doorway thinking it would be easy and that I could control this the way I thought I controlled the rest of my life. Eventually, I learned that life is not something to be controlled. Living life is to let go and let it happen. Let go; yet take action when intuitively and heart inspired. Take action minus the need for controlling and minus attachment to the outcome.

This has been, and continues to be, a journey of opening my heart. A heart that closed as a very young child; perhaps even a heart that had been closed for many lifetimes. Every book I’ve read, movie I’ve watched, date day taken with my kids, every healer that I’ve worked with, and every walk taken has been in perfect timing to lead me to the next step of opening my heart.

I ultimately arrived at the place of knowing I was to love whatever comes into my experience. I haven’t always known what that meant. I thought I did. I did not understand how one is to “love” whatever is happening, or whatever one is feeling.

I now get that life is not here to fulfill me. I am here to fulfill life. There are absolutely days when I forget all of this. I’m still traveling this path. I fall back into old habits. Yet, the more I remember to love whatever is happening, the more my heart opens and the more I am able to share the One Love with all.

This also entailed letting go of my need to be bothered and to be upset by others and situations. Letting it go, by loving it as it came into my experience. This meant loving the un-lovely feelings that bubble forth during these times.

Loving the feelings absolutely does not mean to pour positivity over them and squish them back down to the place from which they came forth. It means simply, telling yourself over and over, “I love you”, to your own heart. And it means letting yourself physically feel these un-lovely feelings. It is truly amazing and life shifting to do this for oneself.

As a young girl my favorite and most loved fairy tale was the one where the down trodden princess was finally seen and loved for who she is by a dashing prince. And then this dashing prince whisks her away to her hearts delight wherein she lives life the way she chooses, forever in joy and peace and fun. I carried this with me into adulthood.

Now as I look back on this, I can see I was waiting for life to fulfill me. I see I was waiting for some “other” to see me, love me, tell me I am worthy, tell me they believe in me, and tell me they are sorry for wrongs done to me. And then for this other to place me in the perfect situation wherein I could control life and have experiences that would not take me out of my comfort zone.

Traveling this path of opening my heart, I have learned that we all need these words spoken to us by those closest to us and those not close to us alike. Yet, as importantly, we also need to speak these words to our self. Especially when we did not hear them as a child; or heard them very little during our young and tender years.

And, most especially when we are having unlovely experiences and feelings. That’s when we need it most. The more we do this for our self, the more our heart opens. And, the more our heart opens the more we come to realize that life’s journey is not about life fulfilling us. It is about us fulfilling life and sharing love in the way we came forth to share.

I invite you to walk with me through these pages. Walking, being in nature, and writing have been the magical ingredients for alchemizing experiences as I travel this path. Let’s go.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:
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Poetry and Photography: Headed Home

And She Walked 5.28.18

And she walked.
And she walked.
She walked until
Arriving at
The home of 
Peace and Joy.
Only to discover
This is where she had
Been all along.
©️2018 Camilla Downs

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:
[catlist name=blog]

Nature’s Messages: Reflect and Let it Go and Time Travel and Knowing

May 2018:

…. from a walk this morning …… Reflections. Cloudy and clear at the same time? Ahhhh. Such is it.

Solo Walk Vintage Lake Reflections 5.14.18

Solo Walk Vintage Lake Reflections 5.17.18

Don’t hold onto it. Let it roll right off your back.

Nature always has a perfect message for us when we stop, be quiet, and listen. I mean, look at those cute little water droplets. How could I not stop, take it in, and capture the moment? ….

Walk Vintage Water Droplets 5.14.18

This found me on a walk yesterday morning. Lots of goose quills around, yet have never seen two like this before.

I just had the chance to research online a bit and found that the quill of a goose has long been a preferred writing instrument. Apparently it awakens the imagination and intuition flows. The writer travels through time capturing stories of past, future and present.

I’ll take it! Time to write more. I’ll imagine my fingers are goose quills and that I’m writing like the wind as I type. My fingers and hand begin to hurt after about 5 minutes of handwriting so I just can’t do it.

Solo Walk Vintage Lake Goose Feathers 5.15.18

….. from a walk this morning …. Nature. Magnified. Take pause. Zoom out and See the Whole. Simply beautiful. xoxo

Goose Feather with Water Droplets Poem 5.23.18Water Droplets Goose Feather Vintage Lake 5.21.18 #2

There’s really not much I truly know. Yet. This. I do know. Nature awakens the Knowing of my Heart. xoxo

Not much I truly know Sunset Photo Vintage Lake 5.20.18

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:
[catlist name=blog]

End it With the Period

Life is Not the Stories We Tell Ourselves

“Do not expect others to follow your way. When things always go your way, it is easy to become arrogant.” -The Treatise on the King of Treasures Samadhi

Sunday, May 13, 2018 was Mother’s Day in the United States. It was the worst Mother’s Day I can remember experiencing.

Mother's Day May 8 2016 #6

I’m writing this, I’m sharing this, for those amongst us whose hearts were covered and weighted with sadness. As I know not everyone had a great and blessed day being showered and pampered with love by themselves or loved ones.

Thomas had just returned to Reno from his visit with The Romano Duo (grandparents) in Arizona. He had much blunt and forthright thoughts to share about how unhappy he is with our situation and with Lillian’s inflexibilities and anxieties. I grabbed that hook and sank into a deep sadness of telling myself how much of a failure I am at providing for my kids, how much of a failure I am at being their parent.

(Let me add here that I do not blame Thomas. I have raised him to be honest and to openly share his thoughts and opinions with others. Usually he is thoughtful with his word choice when doing so.)

I awoke to no cards, no hugs, no smiles at any time during the day. I am not one to expect store bought gifts; yet, I have always loved the handmade notes, cards and art Thomas and Lillian have given me. I’m sure a wee bit has to do with them getting older and moving out of this stage of their lives. Mostly this stung so badly due to the deeply sad state in which I had sunk. I maneuvered through the day with a heavy and painful body shrouded by a fog of sadness and confusion.

“As we experience adversity in our lives, we mature and become more understanding. Just remember that the person who has made your life difficult today could be an undercover teacher sent from above, tasked with your spiritual growth.” -The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down by Haemin Sunim

Throughout the week Thomas and I talked about the things he shared. And, Monday and Tuesday followed with incredibly healing walks and messages from nature.

I also had a deep realization and reminder that life is NOT the stories we tell ourselves. Things happen. Period. Words are spoken. Period. Seasons change. Period. Life continues. Period. All grow older. Period.

If we can remember to end each of these at the period and not ruminate with stories beyond the period; we deflect much suffering for ourselves.

Nature’s Messages

…. from a walk this Monday morning …… Reflections. Cloudy and clear at the same time? Ahhhh. Such is it.

Solo Walk Vintage Lake Reflections 5.14.18

Don’t hold onto it. Let it roll right off your back.

Nature always has a perfect message for us when we stop, be quiet, and listen. I mean, look at those cute little water droplets. How could I not stop, take it in, and capture the moment? …. from a walk this morning …

Walk Vintage Water Droplets 5.14.18

This found me on a walk. Lots of goose quills around, yet have never seen two like this before.

I just had the chance to research online a bit and found that the quill of a goose has long been a preferred writing instrument. Apparently it awakens the imagination and intuition flows. The writer travels through time capturing stories of past, future and present.

I’ll take it! Time to write more. I’ll imagine my fingers are goose quills and that I’m writing like the wind as I type. My fingers and hand begin to hurt after about 5 minutes of handwriting so I just can’t do it.

Solo Walk Vintage Lake Goose Feathers 5.15.18

Alchemy Happens

By the end of the week the sadness had fully lifted and Thursday evening brought a tremendously huge aha moment bringing even more clarity (blog post to follow about this – if it feels right, sign up to receive blog posts via email should you not want to miss new blog posts).

Friday was a beautiful, light, and joyful day. Thomas and I had a great time on our May 2018 date day going out for lunch and then to Little Washoe Lake for digging in the sand and playing with a huge piece of driftwood.

After all of this and after writing this, I am able to come back around and say, “2018 was an uneventful Mother’s Day. I did not receive homemade gifts from my kids.” Period. No stories or harsh self talk to follow. No stories of “worst Mother’s Day ever”. 

I do not share this to cause others to feel badly. It is my hope that your heart overflows with gratitude that these are not lessons you need to learn and to have compassion for others. I share because sharing is what I do. And, I know the person who needs to receive this message will receive it.

Everything is going to be okay.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:
[catlist name=blog]

The Walk of Alchemy

Pink Tree Blossoms The Vintage 4.20.18

I went for walk this morning.

Not unlike many mornings over the past 17 years. The meaning and depth of the walk has shifted throughout the years. What began as a way to exercise and get fresh air has shifted to be much deeper than that.

I have experienced many mindful walks. Walking slower than usual, listening, feeling, and smelling in silence.

Yet, this morning I knew it was time to experience a truly mindful walk. One in which one step is taken with each in breath, and one step for each out breath.

I did this for 5 minutes during the middle of my regular walk. Five minutes doesn’t sound like that long. I know. In a world where we are going, going, going and going fast; a 5 minute mindful walk felt like a good 30 minutes.

When I began I kept having thoughts of what others would think if they saw me. Would they be thinking, “What is that woman doing? She’s barely moving!” Yet, I repeatedly brought my thoughts back to the in and out breath and each step. At the same time I was feeling anxious, almost like I was going too damn slow for our modern life. Yet again, I repeatedly brought my thoughts back to the in and out breath and each step.

Alchemy Happens

And something magical happened. I could hear the bird song with much deeper clarity. I could feel the trees. A Divine peace floated through me like a soft breeze on a warm spring day. I actually almost lost my balance a few times. I guess the body wasn’t used to going this slow with each step. I found I had to consciously tell my feet to hold up. Not so fast there!

Time felt slowed, the world felt slower. Mother Nature and her helper animals ever so gently took the worry, the sadness, the heavy feelings and transformed them into peace.

I went for a walk this morning. After the walk, I had a simple day of clarity, knowing, and peace. Peace within is a true gift. Peace within is like a decadent favorite food slowly savored, held in the mouth with patience so as to taste every hint of flavor.

This type of mindful walking will now become a part of my walking routine. I am eternally grateful to and for Thich Nhat Hahn for the mindfulness, peace, love, and non-violence he shares and teaches the world.

I went for a walk this morning. It changed my life.

**I have been meditating and taking walks of silence for nearly 10 years. Your experience may not be the same as mine the first time you take a mindful walk like this.

Thich Nhat Hahn Quote April 2018

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:
[catlist name=blog]