Category Archives: Mindful Living

What is Emotional Connection

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“Let the power of your emotions open you up … Take your seat in the middle of your home ground and rouse your confidence – your innate capacity to open to your experience.” – Pema Chodron’s “Living Beautifully“

The precursor to defining emotional connection is to reach acceptance that negative emotions and discomfort are a part of us. Then, begin the practice of not running from the uncomfortable emotions, or squashing them with positivity, or feeling a failure for having them.

Emotional connection is:

  • Bring your attention to the physical feeling the negative emotion creates within the body
  • Release thoughts analyzing the feeling
  • Release thoughts of why you feel this way
  • Release the “story” connected with the feeling
  • What does it feel like? Tight, knotted, poking, sharp, heavy, etc.
  • Welcome the feeling with a sense of curiosity
  • Follow it with your attention if the feeling moves
  • Let go of thoughts when they arise
  • Flow with the feeling as it shifts and changes
  • If possible, enter emotional connection with complete and total empathy and compassion for yourself

Eventually it will decrease in intensity or release all together. It may take several sessions of doing this exercise for the negative emotion to fully release.

I was first introduced to this concept when I read Raphael Cushnir’s book, “The One Thing Holding You Back” (amazon affiliate link). Cushnir has a great overview of emotional connection on his website. Go here to learn more. And if he sees this … Thank you Raphael Cushnir! I send you oceans of gratitude and blessings for writing this book. Learning about this was one of the key catalysts for a major shift in my life.

About the same time or shortly after reading Cushnir’s book, I read Pema Chodron’s, “When Things Fall Apart” (amazon affiliate link). Although, Chodron does not use the term emotional connection, I found that this content reinforced and expanded the idea of emotional connection.

Then I re-read Marianne Williamson’s, “A Return to Love” (amazon affiliate link), which further expanded this idea without using the phrase “emotional connection”. It is my belief that these books alined in synchronicity to ensure that I GOT it and that I practiced what I was reading about. Which I did. And it created a major positive shift for me.

Also, I recently read to Lillian and Thomas an amazing children’s book about feelings. Perfect for kids with a useful parent section too! “Visiting Feelings” (amazon affiliate link): “If you listen to what your body can say, you’ll find that your feelings are really okay. With a bit of attention, a little more care, they might even tell you why they are there. Some feelings are tough, and some are more fun …. So whenever a feeling comes by to play, welcome it in, and let it stay for as long as it likes, …. Treat your feelings like friends, talking to you.”

Here’s a personal example:

One morning I found myself getting more and more irritated between running behind, Thomas‘ teasing of Lillian and general mouthiness, Lillian’s non-stop complaining of aches and pains, and their arguing. By the time we left the house I was yelling at them.

After I got Lillian to physical therapy, I sat down in the car, checked email and had just received an e-card from a friend. It was the “snap” I needed to remind myself to connect with this irritation. I closed my eyes and focused on the physical sensations.

My teeth were clenched, my jaws tight, neck and shoulders were tight. As I focused on those, they gently released and I felt two pangs of pain in my heart. I placed my attention on that and it released as well. Then it jumped back into my jaws and neck. I focused in that area once again and it released. I exhaled a big sigh and fully relaxed.

This took about 5 – 10 minutes. Sometimes it’s quicker. Sometimes longer. And sometimes it takes several sessions. It has been an interesting journey breaking the habit of wanting to analyze the emotion instead of feeling it. I’m extremely grateful and blessed to have learned this technique.

In times like this, I also ask to see things differently and ask for signs or clues to help me do this. I always receive exactly what was needed. If we don’t ask, how will we receive? I received the e-card, an email with the title, “Flying Off the Handle”, and the section of the book I was reading spoke to this. I sent a “Thank you for thanking me” message to the sender of the e-card. She sent back a reply with another perfect message.

For you, that this post speaks to, I’m sending oceans of love, hugs, and support.

Heartfuly Inspired,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Did you know I wrote a book? It’s titled “D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance” and you can read more about it here.

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The Tao of Letting Go

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“Make like a tree and let the dead leaves drop.” – Rumi

Surrendering and letting go are key to true happiness and success.

Letting Go of Material Items

Most of us have books (insert any other material item) that have been meaningful to us. These books were the perfect content for us to be reading at the perfect time. Yet, our path has continued and we are in a different place now and reading different material.

When we can let go of these material items from our past that were so meaningful, we make way for the newness of the NOW. Again, this can apply to any material item.

I have experienced this first hand when I cleaned and purged the garage and house in 2011. This led to many shifts for me to include writing and publishing a book. I shed about 20 pounds during the process and made the decision to become certified as a coach. The letting go is something that is felt on a physical, mental, and spiritual level within us.

Steps to ease the release:

  • Take a picture of the item if it holds dear memories
  • Bless the item and thank it for bringing joy into your life
  • Know that memories reside in your mind and not in the item
  • Hold a ceremony to do the above, release the item, and let it go

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu

Letting Go of Emotions

When uncomfortable memories re-surface, it may be that we did not and have not let ourselves physically feel that emotion. This applies whether it was years ago or days ago. If we take the time to focus on how it physically feels in our body and stick with it, not analyzing it or getting caught up in the story of it, the emotion will let go.

Steps to ease emotional release:

  • Be in a quiet location where you will not be disturbed
  • Focus on your breath. Taking three long breathes in and out.
  • Think about where you physically feel the emotion that accompanies the memory
  • When the mind wants to hook into the story of the emotion, gently release those thoughts
  • Remain focused on where you feel the emotion in the body and how it feels. Is it tight, sharp, throbbing, etc.?
  • Place focus in that area. Follow it as it moves around.
  • Place your hands in the area if that helps to focus on it
  • Breath into the area
  • If you are moved, send love to the area
  • Stay with it as long as you can or until it releases some or releases altogether

I have and do actively practice this as well. Neither one of these “Letting Go” practices are fun. Although the purging can have an “excitement and anticipation for the new” feeling and we can choose to approach this with curiosity. Yet, the benefits are that we are not held back from old deep thought patterns and stories.

**LOVE OFFERING** If you find this content helpful, I invite you to toss a tip in the love offering bowl. With oceans of gratitude … Camilla ….

love-cards-in-a-basket-october-2016

We are free to be our true selves, to tap into the treasure within and allow a river of creativity to flow forth …. to be shared for the benefit of others. Love, Sweet Love … xoxo

Letting Go – Personally

Recently, I let go of “The Desk” (the new term we’ve coined for my desk that’s been in storage limbo since June 2015). The Desk was handmade for me some time around 1999. I spent countless hours at that desk. The Desk witnessed many moves, life happenings, and events. 

I had a strong knowing that I was to let it go. Not only that, but I knew the exact person who was to receive The Desk. I related this to the Rumi quote about which had crossed my path recently.

The Desk had become a “dead leaf” for me. I chose to let it go so as to create new fertile ground for creativity and imagination. What had become a dead leaf for me has now created new grounds for the creativity and imagination of a friend; for she had to let go of her own “dead leaves” to make way for the new.

Before I had the strong knowing that I was to let go of The Desk, I was struggling with doing just that. One moment I had confusion, the next moment I knew that since there was such confusion about it, I must let it go.

Thomas and I delivered it to my friend and it was let go with no regrets. Sharing this with love and encouragement that you let go of thoughts, stories or material items so as to make way for the new. 

This post was inspired by a client session followed by a blog post I read titled, “A Lesson in Letting Go”, from Sacred Science. There’s a wonderful letting go ceremony included in the blog post.

Interested in having me speak at an event or gathering on this topic? Contact me here. If you like my techniques and energy and feel you’d like guidance with living mindfully, please contact me. You can also visit this page to learn more.  

Heartfuly Inspired,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

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F is for Flexibility

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(Excerpt from my book, “D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance” – published 2012)

Flexibility, fun and faith . . . that’s a trio I definitely want in my life!

There are times in our lives when fun does not fit in with what’s going on! It’s not possible to always have fun, or find the joy in every situation. However, it is possible to be at peace with the experiences life deals us. To be at peace is to be in a state of acceptance, and be present and attentive in the here and now. Once we have achieved the place of acceptance it is easier to see the joy, humor, and fun in the everyday happenings of life, and ultimately have faith.

With each passing day acceptance becomes easier. I am more attentive and present when Thomas and Lillian are talking to me. I am really listening to what they are saying. Sometimes, I must admit, it is just plain funny! One morning Thomas, Lillian and I had a conversation that each of them are actually aliens from Planet Mercury. They told me they are just here visiting and will have to go back home soon. We had a thirty minute conversation about their home planet. I told them I would miss them so very much when they go back home. They said they would miss me too. After breakfast they began packing for their return voyage back to Mercury. Not your typical Saturday morning breakfast, but we had tons of fun using our imaginations. I choose to stimulate their imaginations instead of discounting what they say. Being able to call upon their imagination is a skill I want them never to lose.

As often as possible, I attempt to create an adventure out of as many minutes, hours and days that I can. It may sound like a lot of work, but really, it doesn’t have to be. Adventure is what one makes it. If we remind ourselves to be flexible and think simplistically, it isn’t hard at all to create adventures. I find great fun in turning a simple task or event (something we are already doing), into an adventure.

Something as simple as going to the library can be made into an adventure by having a scavenger hunt for certain types of books. One day, I had Thomas and Lillian make a list of about five places or things they wanted to see, or find. We had a great time driving around all day to parks and stores finding the items on their lists. We didn’t buy anything, but I marked their success by taking a photo of them in front of the place, or with the item they found (you can see some in the photo gallery).

Being flexible decreases stress, and allows us opportunities to be creative. Flexibility also serves us in releasing our attachment to rigid expectations. When we choose to be flexible rather than rigid, it is much easier to accept change when situations do not turn out as we may have planned.

Flexibility is a characteristic that serves me well as a parent, definitely as a mom to a child with special needs, and in life in general. I am sorry to say that the old Camilla was not a very flexible person. Things had to be done my way, or someone was going to pay! I cringe when I think about how rigid, and inflexible I used to be.

The awakened Camilla has learned the wonderful quality of being flexible. To some, it may seem like indifference when I shrug my shoulders, or turn the other cheek, but through practice, I have learned to be okay with whatever happens.

F is for Fear

I could not let this chapter be complete without mentioning fear. Fear is something that every parent experiences. In fact, everyone has fears. Parents of children with special needs have an entirely different set of fears, and then some, compared to parents of kids who develop typically. Fear is one of the stages we move through when we first learn of our child’s diagnosis. These fears can get the better of us if we are not managing our thoughts in the present moment. For instance, we may take one little comment from a doctor, nurse, parent, or friend, and let our mind run away with it. We fabricate in our mind what the future would be like; what about the next time …next week…next year…from now to when our time here is over? I am not saying we shouldn’t make plans for our family’s future. Make those plans, get everything lined-up, and set in the best way for your child with special needs and their siblings. Just remember not to always play out future events (school, friends, sports, marriage etc.) in your mind.

Learning to have faith in myself, and the decisions I make has absolutely helped me along this journey. Even though I still experience moments, days, and even weeks, when my faith in myself gets weak, I never ever fully lose sight of it. Having a rock solid faith in ourselves, is the foundation for the journey we are traveling.

Tip for the Journey:

Learning to be flexible comes with patience and practice. Choose one situation a week to be flexible about. Then take it to one situation per day. Each morning when you wake up, say to yourself with love and joy, “I choose to be flexible today.”

Developing the habit of having consistent, strong faith in yourself and your choices will only come with time and practice. To battle being your own worst critic, put sticky notes on your mirror, in your purse, in your car, and wherever else you need them, with reminders that you are amazing, you are perfect the way you are, to have faith in yourself, trust your path and trust your intuition. Choose whatever phrases or quotes are meaningful to you and put those on the sticky notes also. It can be hard to keep faith in ourselves; but the more we practice being kind, the quicker we will pull ourselves out of those times when we lose the faith.

Heartfuly Inspired,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

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Living in Tiny Home Adventures – Four Months

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In late August 2015 I moved Team TLC into a 1 bedroom, 1 bath 810 square foot condo. If you are new to this blog or the tiny-home-adventures blog series, go here to read the first post titled, Living in a Tiny Home Adventures. It’s been a couple of months since the last update.

I’ve been busy with writing, subbing, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Another of my articles got published during this time also. It’s titled “The Gift of One” and was published by the Australian Institute On Intellectual Disability. Go here if you’d like to read it.


(The lake is frozen!!)

We’ve made so much progress since I last wrote. We got rid of the hide-a-bed couch that was in Thomas‘ “room”. I had Salvation Army scheduled to pick it up; but before that could happen someone bought it! I mentioned on facebook that I’d scheduled them to pick it up and that led to a friend of a facebook friend (who happens to live in the same condo complex as us) buying it. Wahoo!

Just this past Monday I removed the last of the items from the storage unit. Such a relief. There was a desk, an office chair, a filing cabinet, and a child’s recliner. I gifted my desk to a friend and moved the other items into The Romano Duo’s unit.

The plan is to bring the office chair here as soon as I make room for it. Not sure what I’ll do yet with the filing cabinet. I do plan on going through it to see what I can purge. And, Lillian wants to sit in the chair one more time to see if she’s ready to pass it on. There are a few more keepsake boxes in The Romano Duo’s unit. I’ll be going through those soon. Once all this is done, we will have everything we own right here with us!

The Romano Duo came up here for Christmas and we had a warm and cozy celebration in our tiny home. We opted for a small 2 foot artificial tree as there simply wasn’t room for much else. Plus, we already owned this one and I wasn’t in a position to buy another artificial tree or a live tree (which is what I had planned on doing).

It took some time, but eventually, Lillian and Thomas were okay with this and LOVED our tiny tree. We decorated our little tree with what would fit and then hung the rest in the window. It was really cool!

We’ve had an interesting and financially positive side to being in such a tiny place, sandwiched between other condo units. We’ve hardly had to use the heat. And, it was in the single digits some nights! We’re at the tail end of January and we’ve used it maybe 4 or 5 times. It’s staying anywhere between 67 to 73 degrees and we’ve actually had to open the windows to cool it down!

In a couple of the last posts I mentioned the street noise from South Meadows. Guess what The Romano Duo got me for Christmas? A silk eye mask and earplugs (amazon affiliate links)! I was so grateful and excited to receive these. And …. I LOVE them! Thomas got a silk eye mask from Santa and he loves his too! It has made a huge difference with falling asleep. Ahhhhhh!  I also use them for meditating .. so odd to hear your own heart beating sometimes!

The porch light stays on and our bedroom window is directly underneath it. It’s on my list to unscrew the bulbs and replace with dimmer lights or something else. Just haven’t gotten to it.

One night after dinner and dishes, I cleared the table. Thomas and I then played a “homemade” version of ping pong using what we had. Brought so much deep belly laughter … From Lillian too as she watched us. I think the ball had fun too.

I am still actively donating things to Goodwill. After Halloween I donated many of the decorations I was ready to pass on. I started with 3 storage tubs and took it down to 2 storage tubs. I donated Christmas decorations as we were unpacking them and also donated lights and other decorations after Christmas. I began with 6 storage tubs and am down to 3 tubs.

I just asked Thomas and Lillian if they enjoy living here. I got a loud “Yes, we love it” from both of them!

In the next update I’ll include more pictures of the inside as we’ve re-arranged some things and are still in the process of re-arranging. Stay tuned ….

That’s all for now … The adventure continues …. Thanks for being a part of it!

**LOVE OFFERING** If you find this content helpful, I invite you to toss a tip in the love offering bowl. With oceans of gratitude … Camilla ….

love-cards-in-a-basket-october-2016

Heartfuly Inspired™,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Fearless Choices – The Mindful Way

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Choices and decisions.

There’s not a day that goes by that we aren’t faced with choices from which to make decisions. Small ones, big ones, scary ones, fun ones, happy ones, bitter ones. Choices and decisions are an integral part of life. We invite a more peaceful and joyful life when we approach choices and decisions mindfully.

Are we acting and making decisions from a place of love, or from a place of fear? This sounds simple on the surface. Upon stopping, being quiet and still when faced with choices and decisions, it’s easier to see that we do make some decisions from a place of fear or avoidance.

The decision made may even be the same whether it’s made from a place of fear or love. However, the internal and external results can be drastic.

Let’s look at the anatomy of a decision by dissecting a couple of examples.

I have a choice as to what kind of foods to feed myself and my family. I have made the choice for myself and my kids, Thomas and Lillian, to eat organic, non-gmo foods without artificial ingredients and low to no processed sugar. When looking at my choice between this type of food and this food’s opposite, I am presented with a deluge of research and opinions. Much of this claims that organic, non-gmo foods minus artificial ingredients are the healthy choice and will help prevent being overweight and many diseases.

With knowing this information, have I made my choice due to my fear of illness, disease, and weight issues. Or, have I made this choice because I love myself and my family and because I want to nourish this body and be in relationship with it for a long time? The root of how this decision is made matters. It matters tremendously.

The success of a decision hinges on whether or not it is made from a place of love or fear. When I took the time to dissect the decision I had made, I discovered I had made the choice from a place of fear. With a slight shift in my thoughts, my decision is still the same. Yet, I can now make this decision from a place of love. I have thoughts of love for myself and my family and choose healthy foods based on this love.

Let’s look at another example.

Am I accepting this job or this work because I fear having no money or am I accepting it because I am passionate about it and I know it’s my purpose to do this? Again, the ultimate decision may be the same. Yet, the possibility of this being a successful decision will hinge on whether it is made from love or fear. This can be applied in relationship decisions also.

Thoughts for making decisions:

  • Make sure you’re not hungry or thirsty
  • Try to be rested before making the actual decision
  • Be somewhere quiet (use earplugs if you need too – I use these wax earplugs (amazon affiliate link) for falling asleep and meditating. I LOVE my earplugs!! The foam earplugs did not block the street noise.)
  • Be still
  • Move your awareness to your heart
  • Lightly release any thoughts that arise
  • Connect with your emotions about this decision

Are you feeling fear (or any emotions related to it) OR are you feeling love (or any emotions related to it)? Don’t analyze the emotions. Just be with whatever it is. It will be up to you if you can shift to seeing a love-based way to make the same choice, or if it’s only fear driving the choice.

This is not to say that one suddenly make the shift to making all decisions from a place of love and not fear. It’s enough to simply stop and note the root of the decision. And if you feel moved to make this shift for yourself, start small. Make it easy so that you can successfully shift to making all decisions from a place of love.

I am not meaning to imply that there are wrong and right decisions or bad and good decisions. I feel we can make whichever decision we choose into the “right” decision for us. This post is speaking more to what happens internally, not the choice itself. xoxo

(This is a topic that came forth in a client session. If you like my techniques and energy and feel you’d like guidance with living mindfully, please contact me. You can also visit this page to learn more.)

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Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

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Feel the Fear

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“To thine own self be true.” -William Shakespeare

Why should we let ourselves “feel the fear”? Why shouldn’t we just ignore it, and do “it” anyway. Yes, do it. Yet, since fear may be at the root of whatever is blocking you, if you do not let yourself physically feel in your body, this emotion called fear, then it will keep re-surfacing in your life …. until you get quiet and connect with it.

I think at this point we all get that we’ve got to release this fear in order to move forward. However, it’s not just a matter of saying, “I release you fear.” If you feel stuck with moving forward, try the emotional connection technique.

The negative feelings that arise along with thoughts of achieving your end goal will present also as discomfort, or at the least, a physical feeling within the body.

Connect With the Fear:

  • Commit to yourself to move forward. 
  • Be quiet and still. 
  • Focus on where you physically feel the negative feelings. 
  • Stay with it. 
  • The location may shift places. It may start out in the heart, then go to the stomach, then jump up to the shoulder. 
  • Stay with it. 
  • Release any thoughts of labeling the feeling or thinking about why you feel this way. Also release thoughts of and getting caught up in childhood stories should they arise. 

If you continue to stay with it, the uncomfortable emotion and physical feeling will, at the least, decrease, and, at the most, release all together. This may happen with just one session or you may need several.

Once it has completely dissipated, release whatever it is you wish to move forward with …. Faithfully try this and you may just be surprised …..

Plus, what’s the opposite of fear? LOVE!!! We must connect with the fear to let in the love that’s there waiting for us! Love, sweet love … xoxo

(This is a topic that came forth in a client session. If you like my techniques and energy and feel you’d like guidance with connecting with and releasing uncomfortable emotions, please contact me. You can also visit this page to learn more.)

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Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Go here to subscribe to my blog to ensure you receive new posts delivered straight to your inbox! Right here!

Mindful Christmas Countdown 2015

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This year Team TLC is experiencing a mindful Christmas countdown. For the past few years we’ve done a “spreading happiness and kindness” countdown. I felt moved to add another layer to it this year.

My printer is out of ink and my handwriting is sloppy, sloppy, yet, here are a few pictures to give you an idea of how it’s coming together. I am inspired to share it with YOU in case you would like to adopt our theme of the day.

  1. The word of the day is “Joy” – “Find Joy, Bring Joy, BE Joy” …. in everything you do today. Take at least 5 minutes, or more, to think about a person who brings you joy. Then spend some time bringing joy to someone today. You can do this with a smile, a kind word, helping them, or whatever you feel moved to do. On the outside of the heart the following words are written, “Keep this with you all day”. My son, Thomas, tucks his into his pocket. He says he pulls it out at least once per day to remind himself. My daughter, Lillian, is home schooled so she keeps her heart on the table next to where she works and eats.
  2. Word of the day is “Silence” – “Embrace the Silence”. Spend 5-10 minutes of silence focused on your in and out breath. Or you can do this with or without holding a favorite rock, gemstone, or some other earthly item and focus on that item. Plus, sometime today take a few moments of silence, then repeat this prayer: “Let all beings be happy, loved, and peaceful. Let the whole world experience these things.” (This prayer comes from a Chopra Center blog post).
  3. Word of the day is “Mindfulness” – “The Mindful Way”. When brushing your teeth, think only about brushing your teeth, nothing else. Focus on how it feels and tastes and smells. Try to remember to do this all day … when you wash your hands, wash dishes, brush your hair, wash clothes, wash your face, etc. Plus, pay someone a mindful compliment today.
  4. Word of the day is “Food” – “Truly Experience Food”. Taste a food with your eyes closed, being sure to use all of your senses to experience the food. Even better if you involve a friend and try this with a surprise food that your friend serves you while you keep your eyes closed. Today is about savoring. Although the word of the day is food, take time today to savor any beautiful, creative, kind, love-filled, accomplishing moment you experience.
  5. Word of the day is “Forgiveness” AND Arts & Crafts Day (Make a Paper Tree) – “Finding Forgiveness” – Think of something that you are disappointed with yourself about. Spend 5 to 10 minutes to feel what this physically feels like in your body. Once you have felt it and focused in that area of the body, forgive yourself and let it go. If 10 minutes isn’t long enough, keep re-visiting and connecting with it until it releases. If it feels right, use this same technique to forgive someone else.
  6. Word of the day is “Peaceful” AND Arts & Crafts Day (Make a Paper Snowflake) – “Peaceful Thoughts” – Take five minutes to meditate on peace. Put your attention on your heart and inwardly repeat these four words: peace, harmony, laughter, and love (these four words are also from the Chopra website). Keep this thought with you all day, “Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?” and make peace your mission throughout the day.
  7. Word of the day is “Creativity” – “Be Creative”. Free Choice! Choose your own word of the day, your own mindfulness activity, and your own way of spreading loving-kindness. Share with your family if you’d like.
  8. Word of the day is “Water”. “Nourish this Life”. Drink a glass of water in silence. Focus on how the water is nourishing your cells and how it feels in your mouth, the glass on your lips, and going down your throat. Every time you have a drink of water today, fill your heart with feelings of gratitude.
  9. Word of the day is “Gratitude”. “Practice Gratitude”. Write something: a poem or a story about something for which you are grateful or make a list of 24 items for which you are grateful. Whichever you choose, share with your family. Write a thank you note to someone you forgot to thank and mail it to them.
  10. Word of the day is “Imagination”. “Use Your Imagination”. Think of your imagination as an infinite universe of creativity which contains the best way to respond to others, and the perfect answers and solutions. Remember this throughout the day when interacting with others. Create something – a poem, story, drawing, model – that seems the perfect item to create in this moment.
  11. Word of the day is “Non-Judgment”. “Practice Non-judgment”.  Stop yourself every time you begin to judge yourself or someone else with thoughts such as, “I can’t believe he/she did that. He/She is so unkind.” or “I can’t believe I did that! I’m so stupid!” Feel what this physically feels like in your body, connect with it until it releases. Focus on the in and out of your breath for 3 to 10 in and out breaths.
  12. Word of the day is “Kindness” and Arts & Crafts Day (Make a Card or Other Creation). “Spread Loving-Kindness”. Be open all day of ways in which to spread kindness and act on it when inspired. Don’t hold back!!
  13. Word of the day is “You” and Games & Puzzles (Christmas Puzzles) – “Know Your Self” Today is your day! Ask, “What do I want to do right now?” Listen to the still, small voice within, your intuition. Do that. Plus, share with someone: If you could have one wish come true for Christmas, what would it be? Spend from now until Christmas (and longer) imagining and living as if the wish has come true.
  14. Word of the day is “Awesome”. “You are AWEsome!” No comparing yourself to others today. Stop yourself with every thought of comparison and focus on your breathing for 10 counts of in and out.
  15. Word of the day is “Laughter“. “Invite Laughter Today”. Choose a time during the day and choose a person or two to just spontaneously laugh with .. Here’s how: Stand up, make eye contact, and start laughing. It’s truly magical how it transforms from forced laughter to genuine belly laughter. Have FUN!
  16. Word of the day is “Earth”. “One with Earth”. Spend at least 5 minutes outside (longer if your toes aren’t freezing off!) with your shoes and socks off in the grass, sand, dirt, or snow and focus on how it feels.
  17. Word of the day is “Surprise” and Arts & Crafts Day (Make a Paper Snowman). “The Joy of Surprise”. Surprise someone today with an act of loving kindness. Get centered in your heart with 10 minutes of mindful breathing. Then direct this question to your heart, “What person should I surprise? What would really, really, be a happy surprise for this person?” Do that.
  18. Word of the day is “Nature”. “Nature Inspires and Soothes”. Go for a 20 minute walk alone or with someone else. Be in silence the entire time with no thinking of what happened in the past or what you will do when done or tomorrow or the next day. If thoughts enter, release them, and replace with “Life loves me”. Describe in detail (in writing or with your family) your favorite things about nature.
  19. Word of the day is “Love” and Arts & Crafts (Write a love letter or make a card to send or leave anonymously). “Love is the Answer”. Make several love notes and spread them around town – in books at the bookstore, restroom mirrors, inside magazines, car windshields, leave with tips, etc. Share loving kindness with someone.
  20. Word of the day is “Sounds”. “Feel the Sounds”. Have a dance party. Listen to the words and beat of the music and let your body move in tune with the sounds. PLUS: Sing Christmas songs together!!
  21. Word of the day is “Focus” and Extra Movie Night. “Focus on the Moment”. Discuss the movie after it’s over. Favorite parts, least favorite parts. What would you have done the same or differently.
  22. Word of the day is “Sight” and drive around neighborhoods to look at Christmas decorations. “Gratitude for Sight”. Spend 5 or 10 minutes focusing your sight on something of nature, a tree, a lake, a bush, the grass. Fill your heart with gratitude for nature.
  23. Word of the day is “Improv” and Extra Movie Night – “Life is Improv” – Act out your favorite scene from the movie adding your own improv.
  24. Word of the day is “Presence“. “There is Only the Present Moment”. Do your best to stay in the present moment all of today. Focus on whatever you are doing, whoever you’re talking with, whatever your reading or watching; with no thoughts of what happened yesterday or what will happen tomorrow or next week or next year. This can seem difficult if you’re new to the practice of keeping your thoughts in the present moment. To take a break from staying in the present moment, share a favorite memory and why it means so much to you. Focus on it for a few minutes before sharing so as to remember every detail possible .. smells, sounds, sights, textures, etc.

Latest “Mindful Living” Articles:
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Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

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Change this One Thought to Free Yourself

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During Spring camp my 9 year old son, Thomas, had a day of grumpiness. In talking with him it turns out he was being very judgmental of himself for not knowing how to play volleyball and for continuing to make mistakes. I explained that a little of that is okay as it helps one have the persistence to learn more of what you want to learn. However, if we don’t see mistakes as opportunities to learn and instead are unkind to ourselves by being severely judgmental, then that grumpiness overflows to those we encounter and those around us.

I suggested he instead focus on the way it felt in his body, not focusing on labeling himself as bad or no good and the judgmental words and thoughts would leave on their own. Things such as, does it feel tight in his stomach, does he feel pressure in his head or neck. Then, he could say to himself, “I am awesome”! …. And then he could ask his teammates or camp leaders to teach him how to play. He said, “I like that!”

(As he and I were talking, the “I am awesome” story came to mind. I had completely forgotten about it until that very second. Years ago I came across a story of a barista who would comment, “I am awesome”, when she made little mistakes … instead of mentally saying things like “I suck”, “I’m stupid”, etc.) Not only did Thomas need to hear that story in that moment; I did too!

Perhaps it will land in front of the eyes that need to see it right in this moment.

Change the “I suck” thoughts to “I Am Awesome” and BE free.

Latest “Mindful Living” Articles:
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Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Go here to subscribe to my blog to ensure you receive new posts delivered straight to your inbox! Right here!

 

My Journey With Intellectual Disability and Relationships – A Short Memoir

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The article I contributed to Interaction, which is a multidisciplinary journal for the Australian Institute On Intellectual Disability, has just been published. Here’s a brief description of what and why I was asked to contribute: “looking at creativity in how we work and interact with people with intellectual disability. The other theme I am interested in exploring is empathy and how this “works” within our relationship building within intellectual disability”

Excerpt from the article:

“One blood test, one phone call, one moment in time, drastically changed the direction of my life forever. I know more about genetics, chromosomes, DNA, motor skills, verbal skills, and now emotional and behavioural issues than I ever thought I would need or want to know. ……. I thought I had life pretty much planned at that point and for a while this brief phone call seemed to have caused my life to break apart like a melting iceberg with pieces scattering here and there. Looking back now, all that was brought into my life, all that occurred, all that began, and all that ended were meant to happen for my own growth and enlightenment. An enlightenment I feel spreads far beyond myself and my family as I believe we are all connected.”

Click here to read the digital version of the journal. The access code is: K9HqOa

My article is on page 30. However, the entire journal is excellent! You’ll need a chunk of time to read it as it’s short story length at around 4,000 words.

I encourage anyone who is moved to subscribe to this wonderful publication to do so! Enjoy and please feel free to share and/or forward to anyone you think would benefit! With oceans of love … xoxo

PDF version: Interaction Volume 28 Issue 4

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

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How to Peacefully Experience Life’s Lessons

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This morning I found myself sending an email message that began with this:

My philosophy is that those who challenge us should be seen as welcome teachers to further our own growth. For this reason I am grateful for having these students ebb and flow into my life. They teach me as much or more than I teach them.

My intuition immediately after sending this was that the timing was right to publish this post written just over a month ago …..

I am abundantly grateful for life’s uncomfortable lessons and the masterful teachers that bring them about. Often times, our master teachers are those closest to us or who we were close with in the past, people like our kids, parents, spouse, ex-spouse, extended family, and friends. The intimacy we share in these relationships creates an environment ripe for life shifting lessons. My master teachers and their life shifting lessons helped me awaken to the knowledge that I come from a place of love, only have love in my heart to give, and that I am love. This journey began years ago, when I was blessed to experience a life shifting lesson that brought complete and total release to give love, from a place of love, experiencing a peace, calm and compassion that no longer yields to the temptation to engage in drama.

The Catalyst

One night in 1997 I could not sleep. At midnight, I turned on the television, and Stephen Covey was on talking about his book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It was exactly what I needed to hear, perfectly timed, and now I know it was no coincidence. So began an 18-year journey of devouring similar books and progressing to self-help, spirituality, mindfulness, self-actualization and emotional connection.

Several years later, while one of my “master teachers” was in town, it was no coincidence that I was rereading the specific section in Wayne Dyer’s, There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem, based on a line from St. Francis’ The Peace Prayer. I hadn’t planned to be reading that section at the time. However, it was perfect.

 “Where there is hatred, let me sow love…”

Dyer’s suggestion that unkindness directed towards us is love going in the opposite direction from people who feel unloved has forever changed how I handle my “master teachers.”

The Lesson

The life lesson I want to share unfolded at the courthouse, in the waiting area, outside of the courtroom, where a routine 3-year child support review would take place. I attempted to keep myself in a place of love. I silently sent blessings and love to everyone. I did not engage in defending my current or past actions. In fact, the oncoming negativity stopped when at one point I said, “You’re right about that.” By lovingly letting the other person relax into the feeling of being right, the unkindness in them deflated. It was amazing. Handling the situation this way was a release, surrender and healing for me. You may not be able to verbalize like this in your situation but you can certainly silently convey the same message.

With gentle reminders from a friend, I began to visualize this person viewing me as I would like him to view me. My measured responses in our encounters were consistently clothed with the fact that I was only coming from a place of love and I was sorry that he felt so unloved. I began to let go of the need to be right or understood or liked.

Sowing love caused the atmosphere and attitude of our interactions to completely change.

This learning and philosophy is not something that happened over night. I was divorced in September 2007 and it took a great deal of time, patience, practice, and love of self to reach this point. Having said that, I am human, and at times I forget what I have learned and revert to old habits and old ways of thinking.

I’m grateful now that I can recognize when I have slipped back, be kind to myself in noticing how I’m thinking, and then begin to release it. Grateful, too, that I let myself travel the path of sowing love as I am now able to use the same approach when my special needs daughter, Lillian, has periodic out-of-control meltdowns.

The Journey

It’s true that our master teachers aren’t always people. Sometimes, we find them in situations or events. Whether the master teachers of your life lessons present themselves in strained relationships or uncomfortable circumstances, this same method can be applied, shifting the very fabric of our lives and hearts.

  1. Remind yourself that this person’s behavior is not their true self, that you are both one, that you both come from love, and are love at your core.
  2. Visualize the disgruntled person viewing you as you would like to be viewed.
  3. See them as fellow souls who simply feel unloved.
  4. Drop into your heart so you don’t take what they say personally.
  5. Silently send love and blessings.
  6. Let go.

As you continue on your journey, know this in your heart ….

It surrounds us
It connects us
It’s at our core
It’s who we are
It’s everywhere we open our eyes to it
It’s love, and

Love is the answer to peacefully experience life’s lessons.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Latest “Mindful Living” Articles:
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Did you know I wrote a book? It’s titled “D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance” and you can read more about it here.

Go here to subscribe to my blog to ensure you receive new posts delivered straight to your inbox! Right here!