The Light of Freedom – Words of Alchemy

💛💛💛

The Light of Freedom

Time to step into the flames of the fire.
Time to connect with that which you fear from your past.
The past no longer exists and cannot cause you harm.
However, when it is avoided and sidestepped; it does indeed
cause you harm.

Avoidance and sidestepping keep you a prisoner of the past.
Held captive to a perceived smallness.
As the flame grows, be still and know that you are not alone.
Be still and know it cannot hurt you. It cannot consume you.

Bring your light to the flames of the fire.
It shall be engulfed and transformed into the light of freedom.
The freedom to claim your power.
The freedom to know who you are.
The freedom to shine your light with others.
Be still. And Know. -©️Camilla Downs

💛💛💛

What Does it Mean to Love

I’ve had a huge, important realization in the past two weeks. One that’s taking quite a bit of courage to put out there … Yet, I feel the need to ask my fellow humans, or at least the three or four of you who read this, for assistance.

What does healthy love, in a relationship with a partner, look like for you?

Do you have an example from your life you’d be willing to share? Whether it’s a few words, a story, a poem, whatever you’ve got that defines a healthy, unconditional love. Let me add that I believe that Love is Love. Period. So, if you have something to share from your partnership that helps to define healthy, unconditional love; please share.

When I say unconditional, that in no way means, staying in a situation with another who is abusive. That is absolutely not unconditional love, going either way. That is an unhealthy and dysfunctional relationship.

The reason I ask …

I recently had a situation arise with someone I love dearly. I suddenly and clearly realized that, of all the behaviors and values I have modeled throughout the past 18 years, there has been one key area missing. I’ve been divorced since 2007, and have not had a relationship with another since then. I am quite clear on what an unhealthy relationship is and can share from experience regarding that.

Prior to my divorce, I had 20 years of experience with unhealthy relationships, so, I’ve got that area covered. Although I received care and affection in my childhood, I grew up in a terribly dysfunctional family, which carried over into partners. That’s why I decided no more for me until I learned to love myself and to love my children unconditionally. 

The one I am asking this for, is on the verge of exploring relationships, that aren’t familial or friends … And, I find myself struggling to help that one understand what true love is … (as opposed to what one sees in movies and reads in many books). In this age of role playing games, with avatars and made up worlds, I am experiencing first hand how one can be lead down a path that is anything but true love, when they’ve nothing to compare it with.

I can also share what I’ve read about true, unconditional love, and what I’ve witnessed amongst other couples. Yet, I do not have first hand experience of what it means to have a partner who unconditionally loves you, and whom you unconditionally love. Therefore, I turn to all of you, those amongst you who have and do experience this … What does that look and feel like?


(“Love is Magical” Renga Poem written by me and my two kids)

The time is now, the time is ripe for me to help this one whom I love to know about this. Both of us are avid readers, so I have given this one three books that I have read that do a very good job of giving real life examples, defining a true and unconditional love. Those books are, “all about love” by bell hooks (which, synchronistically, I happened to be reading when this realization smashed into my consciousness), “The Path to Love” by Deepak Chopra, and “Return to Love” by Marianne Williamson.

“To truly love we must learn to mix various ingredients – care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, and trust, as well as honest and open communication.” … from “all about love” by bell hooks

I am in tune with this way of defining it, and have experienced dimensions of this, care and affection, being two of those.

All those years ago, I suppose I had hoped that I would have experienced a true and unconditional love with a partner. Yet, that was not to be the path I traveled. I reckon I was not ready to love and to be loved. I had been laser focused on healing and learning how to unconditionally love myself and my children. The beginning of 2020 marked a tipping point for the healing journey. Now begins the journey of heart opening. Hallelujah!

I invite you to share this with those you know who would be willing to share their thoughts. In this case, I do not feel there could be too much information. If you would like to reply privately, you can email to Camilla Downs @ gmail.com. Thank you for taking the time to share. A couple of photos of me and my loves, Thomas and Lillian.

PS: I do not welcome responses that are homophobic, patriarchic, or that support sexist-defined gender roles. 

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy” has arrived, December 2019! A free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

The End of Being Exhausted

With Lillian turning 18 and the stressful move, I got behind on posting things here. For a while, you’ll be getting some older posts as I get caught up … Much love!

January 16 2020

They don’t look worn out, do they? I had a fingerprint live scan this morning. The tech had issues with a few of my fingers, commenting that my fingerprints were worn out. I didn’t know that was possible. Ha!

Kinda matches the rest of me, though. 2020 is the year, the beginning of a decade, of pressing the reset button, with focus on becoming un-worn out. I feel the relief in my bones, my cells, every breath I take. Here’s to unwornoutness!! 🎉❤️❤️❤️🎉

**March 2020 Update: The mission to be unwornout is going good! For my birthday, I had plans on treating myself to a massage and a soak in one of our amazing Nevada hot springs. Alas, I put it off too long and now we have this pandemic. I’ll get on that as soon as we’ve made our way through this madness. 

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy” has arrived, December 2019! A free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Emerge – Words of Alchemy

💚💚💚

Emerge

And out of the darkness
We shall emerge.
A darkness that
Has been necessary.

A vital and pivotal point
Of confronting the
Shadows within.

For to have more
Than brief glimpses
Of the light,
This acceptance, forgiveness,
And dissolution of shadows
Must be met.

As what awaits is
The eternity of light and love,
Ever there, ever lovingly
And patiently waiting
To welcome us home. -©️Camilla Downs

💚💚💚

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy” has arrived, December 2019! A free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

The Attraction of Poetry – An Interview on Shaz’s Book Blog

What attracted me to writing poetry and where do I get inspiration … One of the topics covered in this lovely interview on Sharon’s beautiful blog.

“Today it’s my pleasure to welcome author Camilla Downs to the blog to talk about her book of poetry Words of Alchemy.

Can you tell us a bit about yourself and how your writing journey started?

Hi Sharon! Thank you for having me on your lovely blog. I grew up in Jackson, Mississippi and Houma, Louisiana, moving to the Seattle, Washington area when I was 19-years-old. The next move in 2006 took me and my two kids to Reno, in Northern Nevada, where we currently live. We absolutely love living here. I enjoy going for walks, writing, reading, and taking photographs of nature.

I’ve been single parenting Thomas and Lillian since they were one year old and five years old. They are now 14 and 18. I have homeschooled them for the past 4 years, with Lillian graduating June 2019. Thomas and Lillian each have a published book, with my 2nd book being published December 2019.

I loved writing when in elementary school, but I don’t remember being incredibly encouraged by the teachers and adults around me, perhaps even discouraged with the red marks and comments on my writings. So, I did not pursue it, except for writing in a personal diary. I had several traumatic occurrences as a child, and I must have intuitively known that writing in a diary would help in some way.

When I divorced in 2007, something told me that I needed to learn about this popular online writing tool called blogging. This began my journey of learning all I could about blogging, blogging platforms, and social media tools. At this time another shift happened, in that I felt an intuitive nudge to begin sharing my life experiences publicly via blogging and social media. I began to write and share life narratives, with a shift to free-verse poetry beginning in 2012.

What attracted you to writing poetry and where do you get your inspiration?

I didn’t set out to write poetry, an accidental poet, perhaps? I began an incredibly deep and profound healing journey after my divorce. A major part of the healing was going for walks, lots and lots of walks, allowing nature to help me in healing. When in nature, poetic words would simply bubble to the surface of my thoughts. That was the original inspiration. Following this, I began to receive intuitive nudges to take photographs while on these walks. So began the practice of taking nature photographs and posting on social media. One day I sat to look through the photos, choosing one to share, and as I began to type the accompanying message, a poem landed on the page! It was incredibly magical.

What do you think are the ingredients needed for a good poem?

I don’t feel I’m the least bit qualified to answer this one, as my poetry is free-verse, not fitting a textbook definition of poetry. Before gathering the six years of poetry I had written, I spent a few days researching the “definition” of poetry and what makes a poem a poem. There seemed to be much argument, with firm beliefs about what is and what isn’t poetry.

I will say that the main ingredient for writing poetry, for writing of any style, is to simply write. Let go of judgment about what comes out when you write, and just write. Write, write, write. The second ingredient is tenacity. The third ingredient, write.

Has your idea of what poetry is changed since you first started writing?

This is going to sound pretty crazy …. In the past, I have not read much poetry. I know. It doesn’t make sense that I would write poetry for six years, and not be reading it. However, that has changed. My eyes have been opened to the beautiful world of poetry and I have been choosing to read it more often.

What advice would you give to someone who would like to try writing poems?

I’m not sure I’m one to hand out advice on writing poetry, since my experience was quite different. Except to say, if you want to write a specific style of poetry, to read as many books of poetry in that style as you can get your hands on. Read them until they soak through to your very core, until you’re sweating, bleeding, crying, laughing poetry of that style. HA! Whether you want to write free-verse or a specific style, write daily.

What is the first poem that you read that made you think; I would like to write something like that one day?

I cannot recall reading a specific poem that caused me to think this. However, the more I immersed in nature during my walks, the more nature poetry moved me.

And finally, what can we expect from you next?

2020 is the year of rejuvenation for me. The past 13 years have been intense. I will continue to market all of our books, nurture myself, and will focus on family issues, taking time to do some of the things we’ve all wanted to experience and have not been able to experience, due to financial constraints.

There will be more books at some point. I get the feeling the next book will be authored by all three of us. We shall see. I never really know until I become focused on the book’s creation.

Thank you Sharon for having me and thank you for putting so much thought into these questions. I have enjoyed answering them! … Follow the link to read the full interview …

https://shazsbookblog.blogspot.com/2020/03/author-interview-camilla-downs.html

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy” has arrived, December 2019! A free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

 

Steadfast and Courage With a Theme of Meeting My Edge

With Lillian turning 18 and the stressful move, I got behind on posting things here. For a while, you’ll be getting some older posts as I get caught up … Much love!

December 31 2019:

We celebrate on east coast time. Sparkling pink lemonade …. YUM!

I wrote this poem December 31, 2018, which also led to the two words for 2019: Steadfast and Courage, with a theme of Meeting My Edge.

How wild it is to sit here one full year later, reflecting on just how much and how often I met my edge. Especially these last six months.

Years ago I chose the path less traveled, a path shrouded in darkness, discoveries, deep healing; buffered with joy, peace, and coming to know my true self. I surrendered and untethered myself.

I’ve lost many I thought were friends. I suppose they came to dislike me and my life choices. I’m sure it was best for all involved, yet, this does not lesson the pain. It’s surely been no picnic. I simply could not choose otherwise.

For, what the hell am I doing here if I’m not going to live life from my heart?

Meeting my edge, indeed. As strong as the urge was at times to check out, I stayed with the experiences. It nearly killed me, I nearly killed it. I danced with the edge, cursed it, fought it, loved it, and now I shall walk into 2020 with inner peace, with authenticity and head held high. ♥️✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼♥️

**March 25 2020: Editing to add – 2020 is the year of Rejuvenation. It’s about nurturing myself. So, for now … no more meeting my edge! HA! The past 13 years have been intense, culminating with all that happened last year. I reached a tipping point. A good tipping point. The tipping point of my healing journey. Intense, but worth it!

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy” has arrived, December 2019! A free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

What Do I Miss About Being a Kid – Interview on Meeting the Authors

I was recently interviewed on Meeting the Authors.

Learn what I miss about being a kid, which cartoon I’d love to be trapped in, and what happens when a giraffe in a bowler hat knocks on my door …..

Today we travel to Reno, Nevada, USA to chat with Camilla Downs about how a Swedish actress, going for walks, chromosome deletions, tiny house living, a construction company, being a paralegal, nature photography, and tenacity come together to form the ingredients for the alchemy of Camilla’s life.

Tell us a bit about yourself.

Hey! I’m Camilla Downs (pronounced like Pamela, but with a “C”). I was named after Camilla Sparv, a Swedish actress in the 1960’s and 70’s. I’ve been told that I’m the great great grand-daughter of a full blooded Chickasaw Indian and Irish immigrants (haven’t researched this yet, it’s on my to do list for this year).

I have lived in Reno, Nevada, USA for the past 14 years, moving here from the Seattle, Washington area in 2006. I spent my first 18 years in Jackson, Mississippi and Houma, Louisiana.

I love walking. I am out for walks anywhere from three to six days a week. Nature is partly the inspiration for my writings and poetry. The other part is a desire to process my life experiences; to give them an outlet through writing.

Writing in this way allows me to feel and release experiences and to receive comfort and answers. I also write narratives of my life experiences and how I’ve processed the experiences; sharing these on my blog and in my books.

I have been single parenting fourteen year old Thomas and eighteen year old Lillian since Thomas was 1 year old. Lillian has a chromosome deletion simply called 18p-. This means she is missing the short arm of chromosome #18.

My kids and I call ourselves Team TLC to correspond with the first letters of each of our names. During 2015-2019 we were tiny home dwellers, living in a 1 bedroom, 1 bath, 810 square foot apartment. That was one heck of an adventure!

In addition, we are an unschooling family. Thomas and Lillian focus on what interests each of them and learn about that topic. I act as a facilitator and provide assistance when asked or needed. Lillian is a proud graduate of 2019.

I am inspired by this place I chose as home in 2006. When he was seven years old Thomas summed it up with one beautifully inspired comment ….

“It’s like we are at an art show and nature keeps changing the art for us.”

In which genre do you write?

So far, my genre writing of choice has been memoir, with this latest book being a free-verse poetry memoir. However, I feel a fiction, maybe a creative nonfiction, bubbling and brewing along with more books to follow.

How many published books do you have?

I have 4 published books. Two are authored by me and the other two are with my children.

Words of Alchemy – Published December 2019
Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories by Lillian Darnell with Camilla Downs – Published January 2018
Biggest Little Photographer by Thomas Darnell with Camilla Downs – Published October 2016
D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance – Published February 2012

What are you currently reading?

I’m currently reading four books. I read different books during different times of the day, also depending on my mood.

Anywhere That Is Wild – John Muir’s First Walk to Yosemite, Edited by Peter & Donna Thomas
What We Talk About When We Talk About Books by Leah Price
The World of Serendipity by Marcus Bach
Beyond the Known – How Exploration Created the Modern World and Will Take Us to the Stars by Andrew Rader

List 7 interesting facts about yourself.

We haven’t had a television since 2008, and do not miss it.
I have not used a microwave, for heating or cooking food, since about that same time, and have not missed it. However, I do use the timer and I store food inside it to keep it warm.
I’m headed into my second year of being a vegan and fourth year as a vegetarian.
I am certified in Reiki.
I was a paralegal for 10 years before I had children.
I swear a lot, I mean loads.
I’ve been a grocery checker, a bookkeeper, a receptionist, a paralegal, CEO of a construction company, social media consultant, substitute teacher, route delivery driver, pet and elderly person sitter, and an author.

Where did the idea for your most recent book come from?

I didn’t set out to write poetry, an accidental poet, perhaps? I began an incredibly deep and profound healing journey after my divorce. A major part of the healing was going for walks, lots and lots of walks, allowing nature to help me in healing. When in nature, poetic words would simply bubble to the surface of my thoughts. That was the original inspiration. Following this, I began to receive intuitive nudges to take photographs while on these walks.

After a walk, I would scroll through the nature photographs, choosing one to post on social media. As I began to type a comment to accompany the photo, poetic words spilled from my heart and mind, through my fingers, landing on the screen. This began to happen more often with the poems becoming more in depth. Eventually the poems began to flow simply from events I was in the midst of experiencing.

I thought my next book was going to be a memoir or creative nonfiction, detailing the years from 2012-2019. It turned out to be something like that, just not what I was originally thinking. Every time I sat to work on the next book, my thoughts would turn to the poems I had written over the previous six years. I finally listened to that knowing and began organizing the poems; which led to Words of Alchemy being published on December 2019.

Is there something special you do with your book before sending it to a reader?

I personalize each book with a hand written message, at times including a special message within the book. It’s always a little different. Sometimes it’s a handwritten message on a small card, others it’s a micro short poem or message created from the words of a book destined for the trash.

In addition to that, I offer readings from the book via telephone. I’m happy to do this one on one or on speakerphone to a book club (or in person if you are in the Reno/Tahoe/Sparks surrounding area). This is done at no charge and I’m happy to have discussions after the reading. If interested, go here to reserve a slot … https://camilladowns.youcanbook.me/

What do you do when not writing or marketing your books?

I go for walks, take nature photographs, read, meditate, do the grocery shopping (Ha!), cook for the three of us, have a solo dance party, update The Team TLC website, post on my personal website, post author interviews on this website, and keep track of and complete paperwork having to do with my special needs daughter, Lillian.

What is the most enjoyable thing you’ve found through writing?

The absolute most enjoyable aspect of writing is the feedback from those who are touched, inspired, and moved by the words that flow through my fingertips.

What’s the strangest thing you’ve done to help create a scene?

This has to do with the nature photographs I take … I have been known, and seen by onlookers, to lay flat on the freezing cold ground (or burning hot ground) to get at the perfect angle for a photo. I’ve contorted my body in all manner of ways, stood in precarious places … just so I could get the perfect photo. All of this fueled by my intuition. Many times I’m in the midst of a walk, and get the urge to stop, look up, look down, look sideways and know I’m supposed to take a photo. These photos are what inspired the early poetry.

Do you journal write or keep a personal diary? Has this helped with your published writings? If so, how?

Yes, I do. When I was a young girl I kept a diary, and still have those early diaries. When I reached Jr High and High School, and throughout my early adult years, I discontinued this practice, picking it up again when I separated and then divorced in 2006.

Writing holds my heart and guides me to confront the unlovely and harsh thoughts that litter my mind at times. Yet, also to fully experience the joyful and peaceful moments. Writing gave me solutions and direction for decisions I was faced with making. Many of the poems in Words of Alchemy came forth in journal writing. I feel writing is therapeutic and I suggest everyone write, even if they have no desire to be an author.

What do you miss about being a kid?

I experienced a pretty rough child hood in my home life, and always felt like an outcast in school, so … I certainly don’t miss that. However, I do miss both of my grandmothers, Estelle Mann and Elnor Downs. Their essence is within me and I call upon it, and them, often.

If you were trapped in a cartoon world from your childhood, which one would you choose and why?

Definitely the old school Scooby Doo, having adventures in the Mystery Machine! I would choose to be a new member of the gang, a cool cat! I’d be able to fit into all the places the rest of the gang can’t fit and I’d have a smashing sense of humor!

What were the last three movies you watched?

The Aeronauts – Based on the true events in 1862 of badass balloon pilot Amelia Wren teaming up with meteorologist James Glaisher to advance knowledge of the weather, while flying higher than anyone in history.

The Farewell – Beautifully warm true story of cultural differences when a family member is diagnosed with a fatal illness.

Blinded by the Light – A heartwarming true story set to the music and lyrics of Bruce Springsteen’s songs.

A giraffe knocks on your door and is wearing a bowler hat. What does he say and why is he there?

Excuse me, madam. I’m sure you may not remember me. We were childhood friends in middle school. It’s been a lengthy journey finding you and making my way here. I wonder if you would like to have lunch with me. I have never forgotten you and would like the two of us to catch up with one another.

Which of your personality traits has been most useful and why?

Tenacity
Laser focused attention to detail
Tenacity

What are you currently working on?

I’m currently working on getting the word out about Words of Alchemy, having my hands quite full with paperwork now that my special needs daughter has turned 18. If any book bloggers, or authors who blog about other authors and their books, are reading this, would you be interested in hosting me on your blog? Follow the link to read the full interview ….

Meet the Author: Words of Alchemy by Camilla Downs

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy” has arrived, December 2019! A free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

One of Those Extra Sensitive Days

With Lillian turning 18 and the stressful move, I got behind on posting things here. For a while, you’ll be getting some older posts as I get caught up … Much love!

December 15 2019:


(Photo of me during a 2013 Date Day with Thomas – seemed fitting)

Feeling extra sensitive today, hormonal, grumpy, pouty, sad, and sleep deprived due to being up to the early morning hours with Lillian. Had I been on the receiving end of the following unsolicited “suggestions” when not in this state, I would have (probably) easily laughed it off. (Sharing for anyone else who is going through some really weird times!)

“You should write about your life, things that happened during your youth, up through your divorce, up through the current time. That would be very interesting. That stuff you’re writing now is too girly and boring. You should write something that appeals to middle aged white males, possibly divorced (the person making the suggestion is also very conservative). A book that details all the raw details (the not nice stuff) and the ripple effect of what you did when you decided to divorce. You could have a section in there from my (the one making this suggestion) point of view, too. Saying no less than five times, “of what happened when you decided to divorce”.

I was so stunned, I remained silent and just responded with Hmmmm … Coming from someone I’ve spoken to a handful of times in the past 6 years. I absolutely welcome input from well meaning friends. All of the previous and a few other things were said in a nice, seemingly helpful tone, with the underlying energy of shaming. I may be extra sensitive today, but I’m no fool. (In case it’s not clear, these suggestions came from my ex-husband.)

I don’t write to an audience. I write what wants to be written and doubt I’ll ever write something that appeals to his demographic … as that’s not ME. What a weird, un-fun, and unlovely past few months this has been. And, yes, I think this will be included in the memoir that has been brewing for years. It just wasn’t ready to be born yet. It may even be born as a fiction, based on true events. We shall see … Here’s to taking deep breaths, being kind to myself, and most of all, loving myself through times like this. And, when needed for release, saying bunches of swear words, bunches …

March 18 2020 Update – Although I was in a sensitive state when this conversation happened, it still would have triggered me. However, I moved through it, letting myself feel what I needed to feel, not trying to push it away. Sending love to anyone who has experienced a similar situation.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy” has arrived, December 2019! A free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

When Life Became Heavy with Struggling and Norwich Nights

What did I do when life became heavy with struggles? And, where did that lead? Find out in this guest post on Tony Riches’s great blog ….

When life became heavy with struggling, I became more committed to a loosely held walking practice. Walking, being in nature, became a mediation of sorts, guiding me in processing life events.

During these walks, I increasingly became moved to photograph nature. Listening to the intuitive nudges of when to stop walking, which direction to look, whether to kneel on the ground, and at which angle to take a photo became a colorful ingredient to the practice of walking.

What happened next surprised and delighted me in ways I find difficult to describe. Following a walk, I would scroll through the nature photographs, choosing one to post on social media. As I began to type a comment to accompany the photo, poetic words spilled from my heart and mind, through my fingers, landing on the screen.

This began to happen more and more with the poems becoming more and more meaningful. Eventually the poems began to flow simply from events I was in the midst of experiencing. During morning journal writing, I would write about what was happening in my life. Magically, a poem would flow forth.

It was 2018 when I began to feel that it was time for my next book. I thought I would be writing another memoir. Yet, the pull to gather and publish the poems written between 2012 and 2019 was powerfully insistent. I listened, went with it, and Words of Alchemy was published in December 2019. The cover photo is a photo I took on one of my 2018 walks …. Follow the link below to read the full guest post …

https://tonyriches.blogspot.com/2020/02/special-guest-post-by-camilla-downs.html

**************************************************************************************************

Thank you to Melissa at Norwich Nights Magazine for the book spotlight! 

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy” has arrived, December 2019! A free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

 

It’s a Wild Ride At Times

With Lillian turning 18 and the stressful move, I got behind on posting things here. For a while, you’ll be getting some older posts as I get caught up … Much love!

November 9 2019:

Entering packing mode and mastering the art of uncertainty (sort of … ). After months of construction delays we are finally moving either on 11.15, 11.18, or 11.19. HA! And even then it will only be temporary until our unit is ready on 12.2.

It is and has been a wild ride of having triggers ignited, meeting all sorts of emotions … sadness, joy, anger, frustration, irritation, shame, and guilt; testing my faith that all will work out eventually. My 2019 theme has been “Meeting My Edge”. Good grief, have I been meeting my edge!

At times, I’ve been holding on to the edge by my fingernails. My method is to allow myself to be with these emotions, walk into them, embrace them, FEEL them, so that I can process and release. All while trying to remember to be kind to myself and love myself through the depths of the shadows I have been traveling.

All of this happened at the same time as Lillian turning 18, with the changes that has brought for her, having to sign documents, take more responsibility for her self care, and we still aren’t passed this. It remains fresh. She is struggling with the change of this, the change of moving, and changes to her schedule.

I share this not for sympathy. I share as that’s my nature. I feel it is important to share the raw and authentic life happenings. The fun, lovely, and joyful. The unlovely and sad. I don’t share everything as I tend to withdraw, turning into the moments. Once I’ve processed, I come back around and share as I feel it’s important for others who may need to hear or see that they are not alone. Being reminded that I’m not alone has been incredibly meaningful for me. Oceans of love to anyone who may need to hear this message … 💜💜💜

So …. let the remainder of the packing and purging begin …

March 7 2020 Update – We are in our new place, settling in nicely. I’m almost finished with paperwork having to do with Lillian turning 18. And as soon as they finish construction on the clubhouse here, I’ll have an official launch party of Words of Alchemy. Whew!

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy” has arrived, December 2019! A free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.