The Number 18 – Words of Alchemy

The Number 18

Today is your 18th Birthday.
Lillian Paige Darnell is 18 years old today.

I can still see you in my mind’s eye
as a wee 4 pound sweetheart
as I wondered and dreamed
about your journey to adulthood.

Wow! Did we take giant
twists and turns,
paths less traveled.

Little did I know as I snuggled
you close, sang to you (sorry about that),
and read, read, read to you;
that the number 18 would come
to be a powerful number for you,
for us, in more ways than we could imagine.

When you were 3 years old,
As we sat eating dinner,
As the phone rang,
As the pediatrician delivered
news – 18p-, she said,
missing the short arm of
chromosome 18, she said –
that rendered me speechless,
with tears sliding down my face
into a dinner I could no longer eat.

Little did I know at the time
that this was not the horrible
news I assumed it to be.

Oh, yes. Life changing, for sure.
Yet, not in the way my mind
led me to believe in those first few weeks.

There is no way on this Earth
I could have foreseen how
life changing this would be for me.

Life changing for me so as to
let you be who you came here to be.
For that to happen unconditionally
and organically, I had much learning to do.

Not just learning about genetics,
chromosomes, DNA,
and the effects of deletions of genes.
That was the small stuff compared to
the enormity of the path that lie ahead.

As you step into adulthood on this day
It is my deepest hope that
I have made more decisions for
the highest good, than not.

It is my deepest hope that the times when I have
remembered to share and be unconditional love
stand out and far outweigh the times when
I have not been at my best.

May the wishes you wish come true.
May the dreams you dream become reality.
May the sunshine light your way ever more.
May the moon teach you its secrets.
May the birdsong always sing sweet melodies to your heart.

May you step into adulthood
with iridescent rose gold fairy
wings of the highest and brightest
as you take flight on the next
greatest adventure of your life.

I love you
I honor you
I respect you
I am grateful for all that you
have taught and continue to teach me.

You are You
And You Are Perfect!

Love,
Camilla
Mom – ©Camilla Downs

To learn more about Words of Alchemy, go here …

Words of Alchemy

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Poetry: Shadows – Words of Alchemy

Shadows

Do you see?

Slipped into the shadows
of your being, you have.
When sadness and lack
have settled within.
When comparison of
oneself with others
is the theme
of the day.

When appreciation
has faded and the
heart tightly closed,
you can be sure
the shadows have appeared.

When the light has
dimmed and you feel
smothered by the shadows.
Welcome the light back,
you can.

Remember all the times
Of living in the light
All the times of
joy and freedom.
All the times of
abundance and peace.
They are there too.

Do not forget them.

Remember those times
not with longing,
for this causes the
distance greater.
Remember those times
knowing they are
still there
simply awaiting
your return.

These thoughts are
the bridge that
connect the light
and darkness.
Comfortable you
are in the suffering
of the darkness.

The first
step onto the bridge
out of darkness
is the most
difficult step.

My gift to you
if you choose to see …

Life is a dance
with the light
and the shadows.

The dance of shadows cannot
be a dance sat out
if true freedom and peace
is the destination you seek.

For when you take the time
to dance with the shadows
with curiosity and patience
You will see that all of
life is a dance of contrast.

Have patience when
dancing with the shadows
of your being.

Love both the light and shadows
for one cannot
exist without the other.

Allow yourself to be free
and dance with me. – ©Camilla Downs

To learn more about the book, go here …

Words of Alchemy

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Open Your Mind to the Possibilities – Words of Alchemy Review

Thank you to fellow author, Helen Pryke, for this beautiful review on her Pink Quill Books blog. I am deeply touched by this expressive and warm review!

“My review for Words of Alchemy by Camilla Downs, 5/5 stars.

Camilla Downs takes us on her journey of healing, compassion and love in this collection of poems. Each one is written from the heart, and her warmth, and her love for her children shines through every word.

Nature and its healing power is very important to Camilla, and her poems instill you with a feeling of well-being and calm. She gently guides you through the chaos and difficulties of life, and shows you how just a few moments of quiet observation of the world around you can help reset your fragile state of mind.

Looking at the world through Camilla’s eyes is a calming experience, and opens your mind to the possibilities that life holds. I loved the poems about her children, and how she acknowledges their difficulties, indeed, she embraces them, and reassures her children that they are a part of them to be accepted and talked about openly, rather than suppressed. This mother’s love, her compassion, is inspiring and humbling. Highly recommend.”

To read the full review, and to visit Helen’s blog, go here …

#BookReview for Words of Alchemy by Camilla Downs

The Tipping Point of Pressing the Reset Button While Being Bold

I’m chattin’ with Haley at The Caffeinated Reader about my tipping point, bribing myself, being bold, and why I wrote free-verse poems for six years. Grab your coffee or tea and join us …

The Interview

1. So first of all, the world is a bit crazy this go-around of Indie Spotlight, have you had time to start any new writings? Read any good books lately?

Things sure have been getting stirred up, haven’t they? I think every single person has been touched by the pandemic or the calls to address systemic racism.

In January 2020 I realized I had reached a tipping point in my 15 year journey of emotional and mental healing. I decided that this would be the year of rejuvenation, a time to heal physically, to rest, to press the reset button, and to market my latest book published in December 2019. So I haven’t started any new writings, other than blog posts on my website. I have given myself permission to not write this year, if that is how it unfolds.

I’m reading three really good books at the moment. 

  1. Beloved by Toni Morrison
  2. Ivy Aberdeen’s Letter to the World by Ashley Herring Blake
  3. me and white supremacy by Layla F. Saad

2. What’s something that helps with your writing process? Any certain playlists or maybe a certain time of day that helps to spur you along?

What helps me with writing is to first set the intention that this is what I am doing. Reminding myself not to get distracted, at times bribing myself …. You can check social media, or go for a walk, or whatever it is, after you write.

My writings are intuitive, with no planning, just being ready to receive and write whatever comes forward. Specifically in regards to my latest book, Words of Alchemy, the writings were inspired by going for walks, the nature photographs I took on these walks, and life experiences. Sometimes I would listen to Indian flute music, Tibetan singing bowls, Deva Premal, Stevie Nicks, or Van Morrison when writing, other times I would write in complete silence with a view of the trees through my living room windows.

3. Did you always want to be an indie publisher, or did you ever consider traditional publishing?

This was not something I thought about or planned for in advance. I knew that if I dwelled on what would happen after I wrote my first book, it would delay the actual writing of the book. With that, I dove into writing with the book being completed in about 3 months, and published in less than a year.

Once the book was written, I knew I did not have the patience to inquire about traditional publishing. The people and resources I needed to publish that first book seemed to just fall into place as needed. Review blurbs were offered, the cover art was donated, and the book design and editing were donated.

You see, I was not in a place where I could afford to pay for anything. Many saw the value of the story, and wanted to assist in getting it published. I made a ton of mistakes, learning as I went along, and used that for publishing the next three books. I’m sure that I still make mistakes, however, if I had held off until I knew what I was doing, I truly believe I would not have four published books currently.

4. What was the inspiration for your book?

I had no intention of writing poetry. I didn’t sit down and think, I’m going to write poetry for six years, and then publish a free-verse poetry memoir. When I visited Mount Tallac and Fallen Leaf Lake six years ago, something within me shifted. It was deeply moving, bringing me to tears, simply by being in the quiet of the lake, sitting with it. As I drove home, I made several stops along the shores of Lake Tahoe, equally as moving as she is breathtaking. By the time I made it home, I had written my first poem. (Picture included of Mount Tallac, Fallen Leaf Lake, and Lake Tahoe)Further poetry was inspired by nature walks and the photographs I took during these walks. Still further poetry was inspired by life events, as my way of processing what I was experiencing.

5. Is there something special you like to do when not writing or marketing your books?

I adore going for walks, being in nature with the trees, sky, clouds, bushes, flowers, birds, and wildlife. When I’m on these walks, I am intuitively moved to take photographs. I’ll get a nudge to turn around, look up, look down, and a further nudge to take a photo. Many times at a different angle or view from what one would expect. This brings me much peace and gives great enjoyment.

6. If you were stuck in quarantine with other authors, which ones would you want to be in quarantine with? 

Oh, this is a fun one! I’d choose to be quarantined with Elizabeth Gilbert, Toni Morrison, Glennon Doyle, Natalie Goldberg, Benjamin Alire Saenz, bell hooks, and Thich Nhat Hahn. Oh my goodness, what conversations we’d have, what fun we’d have. On another note, if you’d ask me this same question two weeks or two months from now, I would most likely list a completely different set of authors!

7. What’s a writing project you haven’t gotten around to that you hope to write someday?

I’ve got several that come to mind. I deeply want to write a creative non-fiction. This has been brewing for a while, and I hope it comes to fruition soon! I’d also like to write a book with my kids. I’ve published a book with each of them, however, I’d like all three of us to contribute to a book. We shall see if that happens. I know there’s at least one more memoir, if not more. And, perhaps a fiction lurking in the imagination, too.

8. Do you have any advice for aspiring writers?

I would say the most important aspect is to just write. Write, no matter what comes out. No one has to see it. Write every day on any topic just to get into the habit, waking your imagination in the process. After that, plant deep roots of tenacity, and keep going. Oh, and read, read, read books that speak to you.

9. And finally, what is the thing you’d like readers to know most about your latest book?

This collection is from the heart, with my energy infused into each poem, of what I was feeling at the time of writing. Words of Alchemy was not written for a specific reader or audience. These free-verse poems were written to assist me in processing life, with many of the poems written to remind me that I am loved. It is my hope that the collection do the same for readers, that you connect with the writings, bringing a laugh, a tear, a nod of the head, or simply a knowing that you are not alone.

To read the full interview post, follow the link below …

Indie Spotlight #8

Powerfully Personal and Enlightening – Review of Words of Alchemy by Bill Arnott

Thank you to Bill Arnott for this lovely review of Words of Alchemy.

In Words of Alchemy, Camilla relays her story – powerfully personal and enlightening. Her words reflect a recognition of challenges and rewards, the natural world she is mindfully part of, consciously present, and admirable, ensuring she shares it with all of us.

In Words of Alchemy, Camilla Downs invites you to walk with her to share her love of Nature
and Life through a free-verse poetry memoir. During her daily strolls she is mindfully present as she delves into life in the raw and experiences her heart’s observations. Camilla embraces what happens when she opens her heart and invites the written words to flow.

Camilla Downs is a powerhouse – a one-person publishing house, selfless promoter of fellow
authors, bestseller, blogger, photographer, and mom – the order of which is not prioritized. I met Camilla through online authors’ networks. We swapped books, as you do. And I immediately fell for her story – relatable, inspiring – facing challenges, overcoming obstacles, and being a role model. In other words, a good person. A person who, among other things, fuels her creativity and capacity to give by immersing herself into landscapes – communing with the outdoors, shooting photos, and writing about all of it.

Words of Alchemy is her compilation of free verse poetry touching on these issues – a sincere
and sensitive ode to life and to nature. Divided into alchemical sections – experience,
perspective, lessons and growth – we take a seat next to our author for the Alchemy of Healing.

This, from May You See The Beauty:
She awakens to discover that she has / indeed been pulling the weeds and / shifting her view.

Through the Alchemy of Love, we climb a metaphorical trail with this, from The Path:
Keep walking / Keep writing // Keep knowing / Keep loving
And through the Alchemy of Gratitude we reflect, looking back with thanks.

This, from Appreciation:
Study the clouds and the trees. / Listen to the birds.

In Words of Alchemy, author Camilla Downs relays her story – powerfully personal and
enlightening. Her words reflect a recognition of challenges and rewards, the natural world she is mindfully part of, consciously present, and admirably, ensuring she shares it with all of us.

Go here to read the full review …

Words of Alchemy by Camilla Downs

Mermaids and Fairies and Gypsies With Unexpected Life Paths – Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Thank you to Sally Cronin of Smorgasbord Blog Magazine for sharing my interview with author D.G. Kaye. Very much appreciated, Sally!!

Debby and I chat about mermaids, fairies, gypsies, being a Pisces, unexpected life paths and how they led to becoming an author, following inner nudges, and writing with my eyes closed. Join us …

Q & A with D.G. Kaye Features Camilla Downs – Words of Alchemy

Words of Alchemy – Poetry That Delves Into the Heart

A heart warming gift received this afternoon. Thank you, Marje of Kyrosmagica Publishing!!

“What a joy it is to read this gem of a poetry book. Full of beautiful free-verse, a memoir about friends, family, relationships and the love of the nature. This is for you if you enjoy the natural world, (as I do,) if you appreciate poetry that delves into the heart and doesn’t hold back. In many ways it is an intimate and brave expression of the author – Camilla Downs’s – thoughts and feelings.

I highly recommend.

5 stars.” … Go here to read the full review …

Book Review: Words of Alchemy by Camilla Downs #FreeVerse #Poetry #Nature #Family #Relationships #Love

 

These Were the Days – Eight Years in the Making

With Lillian turning 18 and the stressful move, I got behind on posting things here. For a while, you’ll be getting some older posts as I get caught up (this one from my birthday in February) … Much love!

February 22 2020:

8 years in the making …. Team TLC – Thomas, Lillian, Camilla … 3 family members …. 4 published books …. There are more to come. However, I need to take this year to press the reset button, for my physical health and for the emotional health of Thomas and Lillian. We’ve drifted from the Team in our Team TLC; which I know will happen as they get older. Yet, I’ve let vital areas slip by the wayside over the past 4 or 5 years, especially this last year.

One major struggle is about to end for us. Once that gift is showered upon us, the rebuilding of Team TLC begins. Of course it will look and feel different than when Thomas and Lillian were younger, and that’s the beauty of it, tempered with the longing of the way it used to be.

I get the feeling the next book will be authored by all three of us. We shall see. I never really know until I become focused on the book’s creation. xoxo

There were days
She could see no reason to continue

There were days
Shrouded in darkness and despair

There were days
Bubbling with joy and love

There were days
She knew the reason to continue

These were the days
The 18,250 days of riding the wheels of her life.

Thank you for being along for the ride. It’s a joy to share it with all of you. If you’d like to learn more about our books, go here … https://camilladowns.com/books/

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy” has arrived, December 2019! A free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

The Light of Freedom – Words of Alchemy

💛💛💛

The Light of Freedom

Time to step into the flames of the fire.
Time to connect with that which you fear from your past.
The past no longer exists and cannot cause you harm.
However, when it is avoided and sidestepped; it does indeed
cause you harm.

Avoidance and sidestepping keep you a prisoner of the past.
Held captive to a perceived smallness.
As the flame grows, be still and know that you are not alone.
Be still and know it cannot hurt you. It cannot consume you.

Bring your light to the flames of the fire.
It shall be engulfed and transformed into the light of freedom.
The freedom to claim your power.
The freedom to know who you are.
The freedom to shine your light with others.
Be still. And Know. -©️Camilla Downs

💛💛💛

Sincere and Inspirational: D iz for Different Amazon Review

(My daughter Lillian helping ship books … 2012.)

★★★★★ D iz for Different is a sincere and forthright book about a woman faced with a life path she never expected. Camilla Downs chronicles her experience as the mother of a special needs child with courage and candor. She writes about finding acceptance and learning to truly embrace her life, not in spite of its twists and turns, but because of them. This is an uplifting and helpful book for anyone whose life has not played out according to plan (i.e., everyone)! – Jenna S. – June 17 2012

If you would like to write an Amazon review of D iz for Different go here (amazon affiliate link). It’s not necessary to have purchased the book through Amazon. If you have an Amazon account, you can write a review.