Biggest Little Photographer Arrives – We Did It

Posted on October 30, 2016 by Camilla

This book, Biggest Little Photographer, represents the fruition of a desire. Yet, within that is the message that the steps along the journey of ones desire are what comprises life itself.

It’s sure to inspire with great quotes; almost all of which were chosen by Thomas (some by me). I’ve placed it in the photography/gift/inspiration category as these are most fitting. Order HERE (Cost $20).

All the photos were taken by Thomas when he was 8 and 9 years old, so this is not your typical photography book. Yet, I’m heartfuly positive it will not disappoint.

For the past 3 months I have worked on completing one task and fulfilling a promise I made to the T in our Team TLC. I have hardly “worked” on anything else.

With input from Thomas I filtered through the 300+ photographs to choose about 150 photographs for the book. Then I grouped the photos into categories with theme names. Additionally, I needed to organize all of this so that LaRue could easily layout the book with no confusion.

Next, I wrote the “Author’s Note” and the introduction to the book. Thomas chose some favorite quotes to pair with the categories and with which to end the book. I also chose some favorite quotes as we were a bit short of quotes.

Lastly, there were lots and lots of reviews for editing purposes. Then during the week of October 10th, we sent back and forth the final review and printing began!

During that time, I’ve helped Thomas get ready to show 2 of his photographs at the Young Blood exhibit. And I’ve helped both Thomas and Lillian be prepared for the First Annual Kids Business Fair in the beginning of October.

After we got home and unloaded the car on October 8th following the Kids Business Fair, I was so tired all I could do was run a hot, epsom salt bath, and slide my tired body into it. And, it was amazing. I cried tears of gratitude, joy, and knowing.

I had no idea how I would make this happen when I made the promise to an 8 year old Thomas (10 years old now). Yet, I knew in my heart it was what I was supposed to say to him.

When the time came to fulfill that promise, I still had no idea how I would do it. What I did know from my past experience is to just start doing it and keep doing it and it will happen.

What I also knew is that this came from my heart and nothing from one’s heart is ever the wrong thing to do. And, it ends up being not about the end result, it’s about all the “doing it” leading up to the end result.

I simply started taking steps to create a book with Thomas’ 365 day photography project. Many times not even knowing where and how my foot would land. Not knowing how to put it all together or who we would have help with final steps of making it into a book.

I checked out a couple of books from the library to use as inspiration, looked at some books online, and just started. I did back up once and start all over, deciding to go about it differently and am so glad I did. We overflow with gratitude to LRP Press in Reno, Nevada for working with us, designing the cover, and printing this beautiful book!

Want one (go here … $20)? Want to host a book signing? Want to sell it in your shop? Would you be interested in helping us spread the word? We’ll have an official launch sometime in the next few weeks. Comment here or message me if you’d like to help the launch. It will be super easy …. Like an email blast or blog post. My email address is Camilla Downs @ gmail . com …

We overflow with oceans of gratitude for everyone who has touched, supported, and sent good juju to this project.

We aren’t completely done yet, as we’ll be having book signings around town and are available to speak as a Mom and Son duo. I will take a brief break to catch up on my own writings …. and to fix the driver’s side mirror that has been held on with duck tape since July!

Then, it’s on to fulfill a promise to the L in our Team TLC …… For now, I know what I know, what I know, what I know …. xoxoxo

Time to mail the pre-orders and the amazing new orders coming in now …..

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

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Book Musings: Cats and Art and Barefoot

Posted on October 16, 2016 by Camilla

The Cats in Krasinski Square

Wonderful book about how cats outfoxed the Gestapo at the train station in Warsaw during World War II.

Love the Author’s Note and Historical Note concluding the book.

We all loved this book

Art From Her Heart

I loved this book, story and the self-taught artist it is about, Clementine Hunter. I’ve been wanting to take a painting class for years. I’d been waiting for the money to do this, the right materials, and the time.

About a month before we read this book, I let all that go. I began using what we had; the acrylic paint we had, the brushes we had, and using cardboard from food packages as canvas. I’m having the time of my life painting and playing around with the brushes and colors. Thomas and Lillian loved it too!

from the jacket cover: Clementine Hunter was a self-taught artist who captured scenes of the backbreaking work and joyous celebrations in southern farm life. Her work preserves a part of American history we rarely see, and the story of how she came to paint proves that art can help keep the spirit alive.

Whole Body Barefoot

Loved educating myself about how footwear choices are limiting the movement of our entire body. And how to make different choices.

I confess that I didn’t read every word in the book. Just pieces and sections that I felt moved to read.

Used birthday money back in February to order my first pair of barefoot, minimal shoes – custom made. It took me a while to figure out how to get the tying just right for me. Now that I’ve got it the way I want, I LOVE these shoes!

I help to support my family with my writings. So … there are Amazon affiliate links in this post. This simply means that if you click through to Amazon for more information about a book, and you buy something, we get a few cents (and it doesn’t cost you anything more than usual). Oceans of gratitude … xoxo

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! We’ve completed the first book trailer for my 10 year old son’s,Thomas Darnell, upcoming book, Biggest Little Photographer. You can learn more and pre-order here. We should have the books in hand by end of October 2016.

There is More Than One Way

Posted on October 9, 2016 by Camilla

Mine is not a better way, it is merely another way.

It is my belief that there is not only one way and no one way is better than the other. I feel when we come to embrace that there are many ways, we will also become empowered by the knowing that, although many travel different paths; we are united in our goal.

Each person’s way, is the way for that person. I believe the way I choose to live life is the way for me and leads to my goal … And so it is. My neighbor believes a different way is the way and will lead to his goal … And so it is. All paths lead to the same goal of happiness.

Thinking there is only one way is what leads us to judge one another and therefore further separate from one another. There is no need for me to understand why my neighbor chooses a different way. Once I release judgment, the feeling of needing to understand and judge others will release on its own.

Once we embrace that there is no ONE way towards our shared goal, human life would improve for all. The magic of civility, cooperation, and collaboration would replace their counterparts.

The way I have chosen is by choice. And it’s a choice driven from the heart. It is a choice that relies on the grace of God, the Universe, and at times that grace comes forth through the loving kindness of others.

It is my deepest desire that I am living and modeling for Thomas and Lillian, and others, to listen to the call of the heart; no matter the difficulties that ensue from heeding that call. The difficulties can and will dissolve if chosen to be seen as opportunities.

These thoughts came forth upon receiving an email questioning my way of living and then later reading, “What God Said”, by Neale Donald Walsch.

email message received in August 2016:

“I read your blog often and find your life fascinating. However, you often complain about lack of money, funds are tight, etc. And you and your kids find ways to “make it work.” Also, you frequently rely on the kindness of others to make it all work.

Wouldn’t it make more sense for you to get a job that allows you to cover your expenses? While you may like being a free spirit, I wonder if it’s by choice or by necessity. Wouldn’t some stability, via gainful employment, take some stress out of your life and eliminate the need for your kids to have to endure a kind of financial stress that no young child should have to endure?

I am not being critical but, at the same time, I do not understand.”

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Hearts and Love: Cloud Love

Posted on October 5, 2016 by Camilla

This post introduces a new category – Hearts and Love. I’ve been taking these pictures for at least 3 years now … A collection of Hearts and Love spotted during Team TLC adventures … Some provided by nature, Some provided by US!

It surrounds us
It connects us
It’s at our core
It’s who we are
It’s love, and
Love is the answer. ~Me

Driving home from picking up Team Member T & L at school on March 18 2013.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

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Ask and Listen and Trust – Walk With Me

Posted on September 10, 2016 by Camilla

Walk With Me themes from a May 2016 walk ….

1) Ask.

When approaching the lake’s edge the ducks come right on over “asking” if you’ve got food for them.

How will the person or people that want your creations or services know about them, if you don’t put them out there and ask.

There may be those that don’t like your creations or services, don’t understand, or judge. Yet, think back to the ducks. They don’t stop and think, “What if they don’t have food? What if they say, “No, Go Away”? … They ask anyway. You have those creation ideas and ideas for service in your heart for a reason. For the benefit of others and for yourself.

2) Listen to and trust yourself.

This one sounds so easy and simple. Yet, fear can be a strong deterrent for listening to the message of our heart. Personally, it has taken me a long time to connect with and physically feel this fear to move beyond it.

And I mean, I really felt it … in my gall bladder area. I was taking what life handed to me and it was not what was in my heart. I didn’t want to let go for fear of not being able to provide for my family (for me it wasn’t just fear, it was the other “f” word too – forgiveness).

It took a long time, much pain in my right side, oceans of tears, yet I was finally able to let it go and allow what was in my heart. The way was provided when I did this.

Not how I expected. It has been completely unexpected. What a wonderful feeling to let go of something, trust oneself, and allow the unfolding of what’s in one’s heart. It’s not just wonderful. It’s magical and miraculous. xoxo

I invite you to allow nature to guide you and if you feel moved … Come, Walk With Me ….. xoxo (Sessions as low as $10)

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! We’ve completed the first book trailer for my 10 year old son’s, Thomas Darnell, upcoming book, Biggest Little Photographer. You can learn more and pre-order here. Arriving mid-October 2016!

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Movie Musings: Rain and Strange Voices and Galapagos

Posted on August 14, 2016 by Camilla

My choice: “Singin’ in the Rain” –

I say, “Loved watching this with Thomas and Lillian. We laughed and laughed.” They weren’t sure they wanted to watch. Told them we would watch something different after they had given this one about 20 minutes. No way. They changed their minds and wanted to watch this!

Thomas says, “Good, good music, liked the Singin’ in the Rain and Make em Laugh scenes, awesome acting, funny, cool ending, liked the hand drawn sets, and liked everything.” Lillian says, “Good, funny, favorite part was the Make em Laugh scene, romantic, liked the music, liked some of the costumes, and I liked the hand drawn sets.”

Throwback from August 2013!

The Incredible Mr. Limpet

This one’s utter nonsense! We love it …. strange voices coming from the ocean … HA!

Lillian’s choice: “Galapagos” –

Lillian says, “Good, beautiful scenery, awesome, great music, and beautiful landscape.” I say, “Interesting, great music, and amazing footage. I would like to have learned more about the first settlers and how that evolved to its current state.” Thomas says, “Good, amazing, beautiful, cute seals and penguins, and good at explaining the islands.”

I help to support my family with my writings. So … there are Amazon affiliate links in this post. This simply means that if you click through to Amazon for more information about a book, and you buy something, we get a few cents (and it doesn’t cost you anything more than usual). Oceans of gratitude … xoxo

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! We’ve completed the first book trailer for my 10 year old son’s, Thomas Darnell, upcoming book, Biggest Little Photographer. You can learn more and pre-order here.

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*Singin’ in the Rain Movie Review, The Incredible Mr. Limpet Movie Review, Galapagos Movie Review

13 Ways to Keep Alive Your Childs Nature Connection

Posted on August 6, 2016 by Camilla

I began taking Thomas and Lillian for walks when they were both infants. Having not tried to introduce going for walks and relighting the spark of wonder at a later age, I’m not sure how this would work with older children.

Thomas is 10 years old now and Lillian is 14 years old. Each of them treasure our walks together and if we skip more than 2 days, they notice and bring it up.

The meaning and reason for these walks has shifted over the years. When I first began walking it was to get exercise. The walks I take now are for experiencing my connection with nature, listening and learning from nature, and staying connected with my true self. This is the meaning I impart to Lillian and Thomas as well.

These “13 Ways to Keep Alive Your Child’s Nature Connection” have walks as their root. The root must be solid and secure if this growth period is to be successful.

Make going for a walk together a priority. For this to work, there must be a strong commitment. Take each child on a walk alone, go for a family walk, take a walk with your significant other, and take yourself on a walk alone.
Walk slowly. This is not about seeing how quickly you can get finished or how many calories you can burn.
Point out clouds, leaves, trees, rocks, and animals. Get up close to the trees. Touch them. Speak what’s in your mind aloud and be curious.
Ask your child how it makes them feel to be on this walk, sitting next to the lake, sitting on a rock, or touching the tree.
Take pictures of the rocks, trees, leaves, sky, water, animals … whatever you feel moved to capture. Invite your child to do the same. You can talk about these pictures later.
Take a journal with you. Sit and write or draw whatever comes to heart. Invite your child to do the same.
If your child invites you to feel a rock or pinecone or to dip your toes in the water or stand on a big rock or to make shadows or to catch the leaves as they fall; say “yes”, let go and have fun with him.
If they want to linger a bit longer, say “yes”. Whatever is waiting for you at home, can wait. This is deepening your own connection with your child and with nature. And, also strengthening your child’s connection with nature.
Choose a “sit spot”. This is a place that you and your child will visit every time you take a walk. While at your sit spot, sit in silence, and listen. The more you do this, the more you will begin to see and hear and smell. This is a good place to use your journal.
During the walk, ask your child what she hears, smells, sees and what something feels like when touched.
Your child is continually learning from this experience. It’s best not to attempt to make this about learning the proper names of birds, flowers, weeds, and clouds as this will follow naturally the more you walk. Take note of whatever it is and have fun researching it later.
Collect rocks, sticks, leaves, pinecones, and whatever else to take home. Have a place on the patio, in the garage, or inside the house so these can be used later for research or for creating nature based art.
Authentically share your own sense of wonder with your child. This may be buried deeply within. Yet, it is there. Meditate, pray, practice yoga, whatever calls to you so that you can peel back the years and layers of losing your nature connection.

There’s no need to wait until you have time to go camping or to get away from the city. The trail at a local park will work. A walk along the sidewalk in your neighborhood will do. Nature is everywhere if we open our heart and eyes to seeing her.

We just read two GREAT children’s books that emphasize this. They are:

The Garden of Happiness

The Curious Garden

Also, I recently read “How to Raise a Wild Child” if you want to read further and go deeper with this.

(I invited Thomas and Lillian to review this to ensure I had not left out anything. With a few additions, it is ready!)

I help to support my family with my writings. So … there are Amazon affiliate links in this post. This simply means that if you click through to Amazon for more information about a book, and you buy something, we get a few cents (and it doesn’t cost you anything more than usual). If you benefited from this writing, would you like to toss a tip in the love offering “bucket”? Oceans of gratitude … xoxo

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! We’ve completed the first book trailer for my 10 year old son’s, Thomas Darnell, upcoming book, Biggest Little Photographer. You can learn more and pre-order here.

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Photography Musings: My Soul Is All But Out Of Me

Posted on July 30, 2016 by Camilla

O world, I cannot hold thee close enough!
Thy winds, thy wide gray skies!
Thy mists, that roll and rise!

Thy woods, this autumn day, that ache and sag
And all but cry with color! That gaunt crag
To crush! To lift the lean of that black bluff!
World, world! I cannot get thee close enough!

Long have I known a glory in it all
But never knew I this,
Here such a passion is
As stretcheth me apart. Lord, I do fear
Thou’st made the world too beautiful this year.
My soul is all but out of me – Let fall
No burning leaf; prithee, let no bird call.
-Edna St. Vincent Millay

This photo is available to purchase as a color engineer print. Here’s a description from the printing company:

Phone photos blown up big take on a dreamy lofi look that we just can’t get enough of. So we’re printing them up huge, on lightweight matte paper that’s a cinch to hang.

DETAILS

A huge 4 feet by 3 feet
Extra-light 20 lb. paper
Can be hung on wood poster rails, or something like this cool magnetic poster board hanger, or any other creative idea you have.

Cost is $55 which includes shipping. Use this PayPal link to place your order. You are welcome to mail a check if you prefer that method: PO Box 19812, Reno, NV 89511.

Or choose a high quality smaller print mounted on single weight mat board. It will either be 8X8 or 11X14.

Cost is $30 which includes shipping. Use this PayPal link to place your order. You are welcome to mail a check if you prefer that method: PO Box 19812, Reno, NV 89511.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! We’ve completed the first book trailer for my 10 year old son’s, Thomas Darnell, upcoming book, Biggest Little Photographer. You can learn more and pre-order here.

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This post includes an Amazon affiliate link. Just means I’m linking to something cool they have so you can check it out. If you buy something while over there, we get a few cents and it doesn’t cost you any more than if you had not gone through my link. Thanks! 😉

A Rapturous Dance With Life

Posted on July 26, 2016 by Camilla

I did it. I did it. I did it.

I drove Team TLC 3,400 miles. Thursday, July 7, 2016 through Saturday, July 16, 2016 I drove 3,400 miles roundtrip to attend the Chromosome 18 Conference – Reno, Nevada to San Antonio, Texas .. 1,700 miles each way. A conference Thomas and Lillian have their hearts set on attending every year. We began attending the C18 Conference in 2009 when it was in Las Vegas and have gone every year since then.

We arrived home at midnight on Saturday, July 16th. I was kind of it out of all day Sunday. Then Monday, I woke up ready to go! By Monday afternoon, every muscle in my body ached and I felt weighted down. I was completely out of it for 4 full days. It took about 7 days before I felt like myself again.

Yet, I DID IT!! … xoxoxo

The plan was to leave at 5:00 am on Thursday, the 7th, so that I could drive as far as possible before darkness fell upon us. I am completely out of my comfort zone driving in the dark in unfamiliar places. I could not get to sleep the night before. I was worried and having anxiety about this trip due to finances, honestly, not even having enough to cover the trip.

Yet, I know how deeply important this conference is to Thomas and Lillian. Each for their own reasons. Thomas is the sibling to a sister who has a chromosome deletion. He has, and is, developing deep friendships with the other siblings his age and being mentored by the older siblings.

Lillian’s friends are her peers that she has connected with through this conference. She communicates with some of them all throughout the year. When one texts, blogs, post on Facebook and Instagram, emails, chats on Facebook, or uses skype; the spoken word is not needed.

In our world of verbal communication difficulties, social media has helped create a world that would not exist for Lillian and one where she has true friends. She has no local friends, yet she has friends all over the United States and the world … As far away as Tasmania, Australia.

After having about 3 hours sleep, I could not seem to get ready as I was overwhelmed with the enormity of this trip. I had an adult meltdown which delayed our departure. We were finally on our way at 7:00 am; two hours later than I had planned.

There was much excitement as we began the road trip. Lots of talking, observing the landscape, and silliness. About two hours into the morning, we lost cell phone service due to the rural area we traveled. We were without cell service for the next five or six hours until we reached Las Vegas. During this time, Thomas and Lillian became absorbed in reading books, magazines, or using their computers or phones.

Which left my mind much time to mess with me. I had stepped way out of my comfort zone with this trip. I had never driven this far, much less driven this far being the only one in charge of packing, driving, and navigating. Plus, we had never driven this far as a family. Our max road trip travel time was to the 2015 conference in Salt Lake City; which was about an 8 hour drive from Reno.

Thoughts of us being stranded due to car problems kept entering my mind like a dark storm cloud encroaching on the brightest of days. Thoughts of the lack of finances for this trip took their turn in the dance also. Not to be left out of the dance, thoughts of my insanity at attempting this cut into the dance too. All of this dance to be completed with the veil of anxiety and worry weaving in and out like a breeze blowing through the trees.

Thankfully, I am a student of mindfulness and emotional connection. And, since there was nothing else to do but sit and drive, I took this opportunity to put these practices to work. It was a rapturous dance between being mindful, connecting with emotions, and embracing the fear wanting to dance with me.

This trip proved to be challenging. I had not anticipated this dance with life in all of its flavors and colors in such a way to cause the suffering brought on by my thoughts. It was my goal to have this trip be a learning experience for me of not knowing, not planning, and just going. That’s certainly not for everyone.

Yet, I felt this was important for me. It’s a huge step out of my comfort zone. One step closer to trusting myself, trusting internal messages, and letting go of how it’s supposed to be done. As mentioned earlier, I’ve never driven this far alone … Much less alone with Thomas and Lillian. In addition to driving this far in Rosey, our 15 year old car, with dancing through this trip on less than a shoe string budget and letting go of worry that the string will hold tight.

I had moments where I was so extremely hot and exhausted I had visions of taking an ice bath and moments when I was so tired I was shaking and wondering what in the heck I was doing ….. Yet, I know. I may not know on the surface right now; but deep down, I know why I do what I do.

This was also a dance full of wonderful, bright moments. We shared inspiring comments and tons of love that furthered each one of us. Definitely some amazing growth for all of us happened! WOW!

We had a ball and laughed tons and enjoyed the beautiful landscape as we drove by it. Lillian was being so helpful and encouraging Thursday morning before we left.

Thomas was awesome and inspiring with his comments as we drove the two lane highways in the middle of nowhere in Nevada and Arizona. We saw a huge sign that read, “Nothing” and had a great laugh about that! Just after driving through Boulder City and Hoover dam, Thomas said, “I love it here.” He was so impressed with Lake Mead and said he wanted to live there.

Thomas went on to say that he always has deja vu and he has lived this life before. He said it all seems so familiar. He was incredibly inspired by the beauty that passed before our eyes. He also commented that he wants to buy land and simply let kids play on the land.

On the first day of driving, Lillian got sick to her stomach. We ended up spending about 30 minutes at a gas station bathroom and Thomas was extremely helpful. When we were looking for a place to stay and it kept getting darker and darker, I apologized to them as I had planned on stopping sooner. He said, “When you get a rock in your shoe, just shake it out.”

Rosey did a pretty good job. She had a wee bit of problems getting overheated but that was resolved with turning the air conditioner off while traveling up and down the mountainous areas. I had to give her some oil and coolant on the way there and some oil on the way back home. It’s scorching hot checking oil and fluids in over 100 degree weather!

With an hour and a half to go before we arrived in San Antonio, the epoxy glue I use for the driver side mirror had enough of the heat and was simply melting away! A couple of years ago I bumped the mirror backing out of a covered parking spot. So, for about 20 minutes I was holding the mirror until I could pull over. Bungee cord to the rescue!! Before we headed back home, the hotel gave me duct tape and that worked great for the ride back home.

I feel strongly guided to be establishing a new relationship with myself and the world and to model this for my kids, have them actively participate, and to help them know that there’s more to life and living than traditionally meets the eye.

I want them to never lose touch with their true self and to grow into adults knowing their given talents and having a solid and clear courage and conviction in sharing that talent with the world!

I continue to learn so much daily … About me, Thomas and Lillian, others and simply just living and dancing with life! xoxo

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! We’ve completed the first book trailer for my 10 year old son’s, Thomas Darnell, upcoming book, Biggest Little Photographer. You can learn more and pre-order here.

Why I Live Life with Abandon

Posted on July 2, 2016 by Camilla

Therapists, Teachers and Friends

I don’t even know where to begin and not quite sure how to put into words what I have experienced recently. As I was experiencing the below, thoughts of, “I have got to share this. I must tell someone. I feel like dancing and twirling with the wind, shining like the sun and sharing this with everyone.” were whirling within me. It was incredibly powerful.

In the past few weeks, I’ve been told by several how brave I am, how I am honored for my dedication to being a parent. I’ve also been asked not just recently but several times over the past 7 or 8 years, “How did you process all this, how did you do it? Did you have professional help, a therapist?”

My therapists have been the authors of the books I read. Two of my greatest teachers have been my kids, Thomas and Lillian. Other teachers have been the suffering brought on by my thoughts, beliefs, and ideas, and those with whom I have shared un-lovely moments. The friends I share absolutely everything with are nature, meditation, and my own version of praying.

I continually ask to see things differently, to question the thoughts, ideas and beliefs I have. I ask to unlearn thoughts, beliefs, and ideas that no longer serve me. In the few days before this experience, I had finally come to a point where I authentically released and let go of all that I wish for and want. I let go of it with tremendous love and with the knowing that I would absolutely receive once I let go of the longing.

Here is what I experienced …..

A Bayou Angel

This morning a bayou Angel and her Mom came to my assistance. One who feels I am a gift to her in how I show up and live my life. As I sat eating my dinner of a lovely, big bowl of popcorn, I simply stared into the bowl at each kernel before eating it. (I was enjoying my first night alone, with the house to myself, for the first time in a year.)

I was listening to Stevie Nicks on Pandora, feeling as if Stevie Nicks and I are soul sisters, like I could physically feel the the impact of the words she sang. As I scooped up and popped the last bit of popcorn into my mouth, the bayou Angel and I exchanged our last email for the day agreeing that our having re-connected was divinely arranged.

To See A World in a Grain of Sand

William Blake’s “To See A World … ” came to mind and it was as if the flood gates opened. Not only to let flow tears of knowing, tears of joy, and tears of love …. It was the flood gates of my entire life flowing out around me and wrapping me in the knowing that there have been no accidents in this life.

To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand 
And Eternity in an hour.

It has been divinely laid out. Every encounter, every relationship, every friendship. I saw the synchronicity of having lived 3 years of my life in Houma Louisiana, the deep unhappiness of my family life at that time, and how the friendships I formed were a saving grace. Not only a saving grace back in the mid 80’s, a saving grace in the year 2013 and 2016. Unbeknownst to me a mutual, symbiotic relationship of one inspiring the other and one becoming a messenger angel for the other.

Everything that I have experienced was laid out in such a way that I could choose a different path at some point in my life. If I didn’t choose that different path, I would most likely still have felt as though I was happy, moving right along side millions of other people doing life the way everyone else is doing life. Or I could have chosen a path on which I numbed myself so as not to feel my emotions and to drown out the callings of my soul; which I did do in my late teens and early 20’s.

A Different Path

Yet, I chose the different path. The path that leads to a simple life, a life of ease, a life of valuing something completely different, of knowing the given talent within and of sharing that talent with others. Although it is a path that leads to a life of ease and non-struggle, the walk along that path has certainly not been simple and free of struggle, nor free of suffering.

**LOVE OFFERING** If you find this content helpful, I invite you to toss a tip in the love offering bowl. With oceans of gratitude … Camilla ….

It has been a path of confronting feelings about my own self-worth. A path of knowing the deep intrinsic worth of simply BEing. A path of peeling back layer after layer after layer after layer of thoughts, beliefs, and ideas that have compounded throughout this life … and smothered the true me.

I felt as if I was breathing with all of life, all of the earth, and all of the Universe. Two hours time went by and it seemed like it had been 30 minutes.

In the whirling of my life through these flood gates, I felt divinely loved … a pure love so deep I cried sobbing salty tears of joy with the knowing that I am loved, that I have always been loved, and that I AM love.

The knowing sobs ended with a peace and a bliss like I have never felt before that no matter what happens in the next two months and from here forward; everything will be okay and my family will be okay. I will always be loved and be love no matter what.

… And that is what I experienced. These words don’t seem to do it justice. Yet, I have tried to convey the power and beauty of it.

Be the Change

In the past society has taught us (or at least me, anyway) a philosophy of, “If this, than that”. You are only valued IF you live your life a certain way, accomplish certain things, accumulate material items.” … Rather than teaching us as young, sweet, innocent beings that we are valued. Period. There is no, if and when. Period. You are valued.

I take Gandhi’s words of, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world ” straight to my soul. My number one main and most important “job” is ensuring that I “raise” two beings who live life from a place of loving-kindness, who retain peace and joy as they age and are grounded in the knowing of their given talents so as to share those talents for the benefit of others.

And one of the ways in which I carry out this job is to simply be me. To live life from a place of loving-kindness and come to know the given talents I had so deeply buried. And to do this openly with Thomas and Lillian observing and being a part of the process and watching me build a new relationship with myself. (Here’s a wonderfully inspiring, short and beautiful, post by a friend, Tania Marie, titled Portals of Possibilities, which touches on this.)

I single parent the two of them and this is a full time, almost round the clock job. It’s not really a job in the traditional sense of the word as I enjoy getting to do this. I am supposed to be doing this. It’s definitely not always easy or fun, yet those un-lovely times are when we are learning the most and making the greatest progress as human beings.

Crossing the Bridge

“And she said, I’m ready to live this life with abandon and joyful bewilderment … I’m crossing that bridge.” ~Camilla Downs

May you take this as you need to receive it. Perhaps a calling to begin questioning why you are doing what you do, what is causing you to make certain decisions. Perhaps to reinforce why you seem to be “bucking” the system, or going against what others think you should be doing.

Perhaps simply to be told that you are loved, you are loved, you are loved and to stop judging yourself.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! We’ve completed the first book trailer for my 10 year old son’s, Thomas Darnell, upcoming book, Biggest Little Photographer. You can learn more and pre-order here.

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Camilla Downs

Making zines, writing essays and poetry while DIY'ing my way through life

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