Author Archives: Camilla

Asking for Help is the Hardest Part

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September 26 2021

This was hard for me to do. But, here it is. xoxo

Thomas has a severe overbite, and needs orthodontic treatment to help correct it.

The overbite not only effects his inability to have lip closure, it affects how he chews food, and contributes to his negative body image. This is a huge investment, but necessary for Thomas’s overall dental, medical, and psychological well being.

Thomas’s treatment involves installing a herbst appliance to his lower jaw; which will remain for about a year. Three months after the herbst appliance is installed, upper braces are affixed. When the herbst appliance is removed, lower braces are affixed. After about a year, the braces will be removed, and he’ll wear a retainer for a while, finishing with wearing a retainer while sleeping. The entire process will be about two years.

The total cost of the treatment is about $7,900.00. The down payment for the treatment is nearly $2,000, with monthly payments thereafter for 32 months. The down payment is the reason for this fundraiser. Should donations surpass the deposit amount, the remainder will be put toward the balance due ($5,900.00). On the optimistic side, I think I can handle the monthly payments. It may be a struggle at times, but absolutely worth it for Thomas.

More about us: We are a family of three, and we call ourselves Team TLC. T for Thomas, L for Lillian (Thomas’s older sibling), and C for Camilla. I’ve single parented Thomas and Lillian since Thomas was 1 year old. Lillian has a disability by way of a chromosome deletion, called 18p-.

Thomas has just recently been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and autism; along with having a high IQ. We have already been addressing one of these issues, and will make our way through getting Thomas the help he needs. He currently attends an online school, and has a 4.0 average.

If you would like to support us by purchasing any of our books, they are all on Amazon.

And if you would like to learn more about our family you can go here, https://theteamtlc.com/, or have a look around my website and blog.

You can donate through Gofundme (below) or PayPal at http://www.PayPal.me/CamillaDowns or Venmo @CamillaDowns …

Thank you so very much!

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here. 

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Throwback Post: This is the Space

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**THROWBACK POST**

March 21 2019


(Photo from August 2021 Walk)

This is the space I was in Tuesday night … I sat to write as I felt overwhelmed with the enormity of circumstances and unclear how to proceed.

When it’s my own internal struggles and turbulence I have learned to lean into it, be with it, and try to remember to keep love at the forefront of whatever it is.

What I have not learned is how to do this when someone I love dearly is struggling and I don’t have clarity about how to help them and feel deeply inadequate for the task. Especially when there are two someones struggling. And, sometimes, struggling at the same time.

This is what lies at the forefront of the current journey. It’s definitely not a pleasant place to be. Yet, offers much opportunity to continue to move through one’s own journey while at the same time holding space for those closest to you as they travel their own journey.

I went to bed shortly after writing this. I woke up feeling lighter and more at peace than I had in nearly a week. I also knew which first steps to take in helping my loved one and I took it. PSR Through Writing …. That’s what I call it. Peace Solutions Relief …. Through Writing ..

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here. 

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Get to Know Me: Choose Anything for a Day

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I’m a member of an author/book reader facebook group, and the admins ask great questions. I decided to turn some of the questions into a “get to know me” series. I would also love to hear your answers to the questions posed in the series. Thanks Helen for asking such fun questions!

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be?

My answer would change daily, but right now, I’d like to snap my fingers, having all paper work magically completed, all decisions made in my and my family’s favor, and then spend the day getting a full body massage, soaking in an hot epsom salt bath, and having someone fix all of my meals, vegan and to my liking. In short, I would love for someone to dote over me and spoil me.

What about you?

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here. 

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Reblog: Thomas and Camilla December 2020 Date Day

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December 29 2020

Thomas and Camilla December 2020 Date Day

First was lunch. Miso Ramen noodles with fried tofu for me and Korean BBQ for Thomas.

Then we headed for snow as Thomas really wants it to snow. It’s nearly reached us, only about 10 minutes up Mt Rose Highway.

     

Go here to see more Winter Wonderland photos ..

Thomas and Camilla December 2020 Date Day

Latest News: Taking Time to Relax

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August 4 2021

I decided it was about damn time and okay if I just relax, and do nothing. Very hard for me. I’m used to always feeling I’m being useful, researching, advocating for Thomas or Lillian, creating some form of art – whether it’s writing or creating art in some form, or being out exploring Mother Nature. This is okay, Camilla.

I know I’m not alone in the stories, the narratives that we tell ourselves when it comes to doing absolutely nothing. I know that these times are necessary and needed in order for me to refuel, refilling my cup. I am a master at serving from a depleted cup. This is not something that one would want to master.

Knowing this does not stop the narrative, the anxious feeling that I should be doing something other than taking time to just gaze at the sky, listening to the sounds of life. What is valuable to master is having these nagging thoughts and feelings, letting them be, while still allowing time to do absolutely nothing. I will work at mastering that as long as it takes.

I’m taking a lesson from 14 year old Camilla, on the beach in Florida. I know she wasn’t worried about doing something other than sitting in the sand, gazing at the place where the ocean and sky meet one another …


(Camilla – 1984 Summer Vacation – Florida)

How about you? What narrative creeps into your thoughts when seeing to yourself?

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here. 

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Throwback Post: It Was A Crummy Day

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**THROWBACK POST**

I’m not sure of when this was written … 2017, 2018, or could have been in 2019 ??? (When I changed hosting companies in 2020, I lost the original dates for my draft posts.)

I wrote this last night before going to bed. I needed to process. I needed to hear, through the writing, the outcome. I’m on the other side of it now. I’m at peace and ready to put one foot in front of the other. I’m ready to view this with curiosity and anticipation.

Simply sharing with you … as … that’s what I do. I write. I share. And, I do this for you to take away whatever it is that fits your space in this moment. As I finish this preface to yesterday’s writing, I’m hearing Nina Simone’s, “Here Comes the Sun” serenading me …

“Today was such a crummy day. I was incredibly grateful I took the long walk this morning. And that it was such a beautiful, blissful, and magical walk. I didn’t want to go. I wanted to put it off until Thursday or Friday. I am deeply thankful I didn’t put it off as it laid the foundation for processing such a crummy day!

Such is this journey of life. Some days there will be huge disappointment. Some days great expansion and joy. I choose to feel all the feels. The sharp, biting anger and depths of sadness over disappointment and the bliss of magical joy in moments like yesterday.

Interestingly the weather matched me perfectly. The weather seemed to say, “There’ll be days like this. Oh, yes. Days like this.”

I breathe in this disappointment. I breathe it into my entire being, feeling the pings and pangs as it slithers its way through my body. During the walk yesterday in the biting cold and wind, I did what would help me move this through. I screamed to the wind and the trees, WTF am I supposed to do, and some other shi* filled language!!

By the end of the day, I know I am strong enough to keep going and wise enough to allow and know the solutions, and capable enough to do what needs to be done.

My heart and mind are open to accepting that this is not supposed to happen and that it is ultimately in my highest and best interest that it did not happen. As much as I desire to control this and have the outcome I envision, it is not to be.

I shall allow the anger, sadness, and grief to move through me and allow myself to feel it. The old me used to either deflect it or just kind of shove it over in the corner of my cells somewhere. Nice and snug.

I’ve spent many uncomfortable and painful years excavating, breaking free, and releasing loads of anger, sadness, and grief buried in my bones and cells from childhood and teenage years. I’m not about to start burying that crap again!

Once I’m done feeling it all, I will send it love. I will send myself love. I will love myself through to the other side of this. I will keep loving. I will keep smiling. I will keep dancing. I will keep walking. I will keep writing. Where’s my boogie shoes? Gimme my laptop. Time to go to Funkytown!”

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here. 

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Get to Know Me: Forced to Spend Your Life in a Library

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I’m a member of an author/book reader facebook group, and the admins ask great questions. I decided to turn some of the questions into a “get to know me” series. I would also love to hear your answers to the questions posed in the series. Thanks Helen for asking such fun questions!

If you were forced to spend the rest of your life in a library, a museum or a zoo, which would you choose and why?

When my kids were younger, we visited the library every other week, and left with 4 bags of books. We were still doing that up until COVID, as my daughter and I volunteered at the library every Wednesday. When they were young, we used to pretend the library was our house, and would plan out where we’d have our bedrooms, living room, etc …. Beautiful and fun memories!

A toy company makes an action figure of you. What two accessories does it come with?

A button you press that satisfactorily takes care of all paperwork one would ever need taken care of and another button that cleans the toilet for you.

Reblog: Amazing Sky in a Winter Wonderland on a Bright Sunshiny Day

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December 14 2020

When you run out of patience for the snow, you make the 10 minute drive up Mt. Rose. Today’s walk was in Winter Wonderland, finding a couple of hills for Thomas to sled down. The quiet of a snow covered forest is pure bliss, calming, like a magical nature hug.

   

Follow the link to see more photos:

Amazing Sky in a Winter Wonderland on a Bright Sunshiny Day

A Book of Affirmations, A Book of Magic Spells – Words of Alchemy

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“This collection of free-verse poetry is vivid and heart-felt. At times it seemed like a book of affirmations; at others a meditation on life. Even more poems reminded me of magic spells, sending love and good wishes out into the world. I enjoyed reading the explanations that many of the poems carried too. All in all, Words of Alchemy by Camilla Downs is a magical read.” – Fi Phillips

To learn more about Words of Alchemy, go here …

Words of Alchemy

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here. 

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Throwback: The One Stillness

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**THROWBACK POST** 

(I think this was written in 2017 – Originally submitted to a poetry website for consideration to be published.)


(Photo taken by me Spring 2019)

The One Stillness

And she began the walk,
The walk of only she,
breathing in, knowing she was breathing in
breathing out, knowing she was breathing out.

She listened in the stillness,
the sound of
the song birds
the beeping construction equipment
the roar of an airplane overhead
the creak and pop of the plastic fence
the screech of the shiny black vulture as he took flight
the echo of a distant cough across the wetland
the jingle of her dream catcher earrings in the breeze
the whir of the traffic in the distance.

She felt the soft breeze
Tenderly caress her cheeks,
hair lifting ever so gently.

She focused her eyes on the
vibrant luscious pink flower
and found her thoughts to be,

I am the vibrant luscious pink flower
swaying in the breeze
The flower is me.

She focused her eyes on the crisp green
blades of grass hosting
plump round droplets of water,

I am the crisp green blade of grass
hosting the water droplet,
the blade of grass is me.

I am the plump round water droplet
resting on the blade of grass,
the water droplet is me.

She focused her eyes on the
majestic black vulture

I am the majestic black vulture
resting on a rock
the vulture is me.

She focused her eyes on
the tall crooked tree,
laying her hands upon the cracked bark
smoothed by the winds of time.

I am the tree standing tall and crooked
the tree is me.

And she is,
and they are,
fulfilling this Divine Life.

And she ended the walk
The walk of One,
breathing in, knowing she was breathing in
breathing out, knowing she was breathing out. – ©2017 Camilla Downs

**July 2021 Update – This poem is in its “raw” state. A polished version is included in my latest book, a free-verse poetry memoir titled, Words of Alchemy. Go here to learn more … 

Words of Alchemy

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here. 

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.