Poetry: The Dance of Lillian – Happy 16th Birthday

Team TLC Sunset Walk Damonte Ranch Trail 6.18.17 #15

I’m a month late posting this, yet I promised Lillian that I would write a post dedicated to her …. xoxo

The Dance of Lillian

She came into this world
with her own agenda.
She came missing the short
arm of chromosome number 18.

Never mind what they
thought about how
they would parent her.

They would quickly
learn no parenting
manual existed for
the lessons she was
to bring with her
through this incarnation.

She delivered the
gift of shattered
expectations early
in her Earth life
as Lillian.

She had chosen
as a mom someone
who had many uncomfortable
lessons to learn.

Patience was to
be another of the
lessons she brought
with the tiny little
body she inhabited.

She was not done yet.
The next gift delivered
flowed into their
lives as a pure
cold stream runs
through the land.

That message.
Acceptance.

Acceptance of what life
had delivered and would
deliver.

This little bundle
that grew into a bright
shining light had
many lessons bundled within.

The next was to be
release of judgments.
Oh. That one stung
worse than an unwanted
bee sting on a warm
sunny day. A sting
that lingered for
years, resurfacing
at just the right moment.

This little bundle
who could be anything
but a bundle of joy.
A bundle of anger,
anxiety, violence, and
all kinds of negativity.

With this bundle
came the lesson of
living in the present
moments of life.
Being mindful and
learning the art
of mindfulness.

Responding to this one
from the present moments
of life instead of hurts
from the past. Oh. This
was one of the hardest
lessons yet.

This had nothing to do
with this little bundle,
now a blossoming teen.
As she may have come
into this world in all
her nakedness.

Yet, she contained in
the fibers of her very
being, a Divinely pure
mirror that served to reflect
to the one called Mom
the lesson that it
was she who needed
to go within, to
confront her past,
to feel what she had
not wanted to feel,
And release it.

This would be the Mom’s
lesson of learning how to
live in the present moments
of life and to embrace the
art of mindfulness.

Four pounds and five
ounces of life changing,
life altering, life correcting
joy arrived on the evening
of September 14 2001.

Gratitude does not
even begin to describe
what the Mom feels about
the tiny bundle and she
deciding to have these
roles in this life.

The blossoming teen
was the catalyst
to teaching the mom that
she had it all wrong.
She and all children
are our awakeners.
They are not to
be pushed to the side,
put in the corner,
talked down to,
treated harshly,
abused, controlled,
barked at with commands
and “because I said so”
ridiculousness.

They are to be
respected and
treated as equals.
They may inhabit tiny
little bodies when they
first arrive.

Yet, the souls within
these tiny precious bodies
have much to teach us.
She came in missing
the short arm of her
chromosome number 18.

The lesson that encompasses
all of the other lessons
she brought forth.

Different.

She taught the mom
that she was going to be
the one who lives life
differently.

Mom learned how to live
life from the heart,
trusting the whisperings
of the heart.

She, who now enters
her sixteenth orbit
around the sun in this
Lillian body.

Happy, Happy Birthday
YOU beautiful being.
Thank you for blessing me
and being my awakener.

I Love You,
Camilla
Your Earth Mom

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In addition to this, I thought it would be fun to link to her birthday posts over on the Team TLC blog and past birthday posts!

Happy 16th Birthday to Lillian Plus Camilla and Lillian September 2017 Date Day

She Spread Her Wings …. And Flew – Happy 15th Birthday Lillian

Happy 14th Birthday Lillian

Happy Birthday Lillian … Camilla

 

 

Poetry and Photography: Unearthing the Hurt

Roots Unearthing Poem 2017

Unearthing the Hurt

She had a dream.
Walking through a
tunnel of books, she saw herself.
Look! Light at the end of the tunnel.

No wait, then … she had a vision.
Walking through a tunnel
of darkness, she saw herself.

She had chosen to
go deep this time.
Chosen to unearth
a hurt buried so
deep, she tricked
herself into believing
it never happened
and was gone forever.

A hurt that caused
her to not trust myself,
to believe she was at fault
for the hurt, and
to not unconditionally
love herself.

A hurt so deep
repetetive patterns
were embedded into this life.

A hurt so deep
a piece of her soul
did eject with the trauma
so as to protect her.

Move beyond this,
that is her truest desire.
Going in, Going Deep, she is.
The unearthing has begun.

What is buried
has tried to surface
in the past, yet,
she was not ready.

Ready, she is.
The piece of soul
retrieved now,
brought along the trauma
for her to process.

Heart pain, sobbing,
choking, suffocating,
bewilderment, why, why, why,
Anger, Anger, Anger.

The pain of unearthing
and feeling this hurt
was incredibly uncomfortable,
yet, short-lived.

The freedom and liberation
in welcoming and embracing it
are immeasurable.
Free, Free, Free!

The part of the soul
ejected, she had longed to
retrieve.

This is the present moment journey.

Retrieving.
Unearthing.
Feeling.
Observing.
Letting Go.

Feeling incomplete
she has always felt.
Now she knows why.

The cycle is nearly complete,

She loves you.
She loves herself.
She loves all of herself.
She loves the darkness.
She loves the shadows.
She loves the light.
She loves all of herself.
She loves herself.
She loves you. -2017 Camilla Downs, The Journal

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is arriving November 2017. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 11 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

Spoken Poetry: Love is the Way

Lessons from Nature … Video #3 … I read “Love is the Way”.

I find it so interesting that the bird chatter picks up in a huge way when I get to the section of the poem about how we all deserve to be loved. I think they agree!

Still working on an outdoor location with better lighting. Here ya go …

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is arriving November 2017. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 11 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

 

Poetry: Spoken Poetry – The Longest and the Shortest Path

The Longest and the Shortest Path … Lessons from Nature #2

Still working on location, natural lighting, sound, and other details. Plus, clearing off enough storage so that the video doesn’t stop before I’m finished! The recording stopped right before the last line of the poem so the words are posted along with it.

I don’t have video editing software so did the best I could with getting the nature photograph to be a part of the video too. Press the “i” button in the upper right of the video to see the photo that pairs with this poem.

Soon I’ll also begin incorporating live video here on facebook to read poems and other topics.

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

Poetry: Brother, One Day You Shall Be Released

Bench in Snow Vintage Lake Brother Poem 2017

Some of you, many of you, may not know I have a brother who is five years younger than me. Well, I do. And his name is Robert …

This is dedicated to my younger brother and all in a similar situation. Please pray and meditate for them.

Brother, One Day You Shall Be Released

I feel your pain.
I feel the sadness
that penetrates
deep into your soul.

The unfulfilled longing
to feel loved,
appreciated,
and validated.

I do not judge
you for the hunger
so extreme that
you have chosen to fill
that inner void
with addictive substances.

All of us need this
necessary soul-food of
unconditional love.

I do not judge
for giving your
soul temporary relief
with these substances.

I only send you
unconditional love,
as you are worthy
to receive this love.

As are your brothers and
sisters who walk
beside you in this
path littered with
unconsciousness
and the broken pieces
of your life.

I feel the fear you feel.
We have all felt this
fear at some point
in our lives.

I do not judge
for the hurtful
decisions you
make for I know
your heart is clouded
by these substances.

I send and hold for
you what you are worthy
and deserving of receiving.
Unconditional love.

Yet, you may not feel
this love as your heart is
closed and frozen.

Perhaps in this lifetime
your heart will thaw and open
to the unconditional love
that surrounds you, that is within
you, that YOU ARE.

Perhaps not. Only you
and the Divine know what
your path is to be.

Either way, I wrap
your beautiful heart
in unconditional love.

And there I will hold it
for you until you are
released from the fear
that binds you to
these addictive substances.

I love you.
Your Earth Sister, Camilla.
-2017 Lessons from Nature, Camilla Downs

**It has taken me years; yes, years, to finally confront and feel the anxiety I felt when Robert tried reaching out to me. His addiction has been ongoing for around 15 years now.

Robert had messaged me through facebook earlier this week. Then, I experienced a huge shift on Wednesday where I finally GOT that the anxiety I felt when he reached out was within me and had to do with ME … not him. I sat with it and then let it go …

I was finally able to respond back to him and I had a knowing that I was to write this poem dedicated to him. I sent this poem to him first before posting on here. I knew others needed to see this.

I write this poem having had a completely different view and attitude in years past. I now know I was wrong … I was unconscious of the oneness of all of humanity.

There are those who ponder, “Why bother with people who have addictions.” People who feel that way are disconnected from the oneness of humanity. All we can do is send them love also.

Why bother? Because we are all souls inside of these human bodies. Addictions, prejudices, unkindness is NOT who we are. People have addictions due to feeling as if no one cares (even though that’s not the case) and this creates fear.

Fear is the root of addiction and fear is the root of those who ponder, “Why bother?” Both, those who think this and those with the addiction, need and deserve unconditional love.

Once we have more people receiving and knowing unconditional love, their disconnectedness (addictions, prejudices, etc) will simply melt and their hearts will thaw. And then they will share unconditional love and we will have an awakened humanity … xoxo

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

Lessons from Nature Debut – What Happens When I Write a Poem

The debut of “Lessons from Nature” … In the debut video I describe how I write a poem, what happens, and from where the words come.

Plus I make mention of e.e. cummings … Didn’t see that coming! This was off the cuff, no prep! I’m still working with whether to stand or sit, etc.

This time I used a selfie stick stacked on a block of wood and leaning against a tree! Thank you Mother Nature! It’s about 3 minutes. Enjoy! xoxoxo

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

Photography: Stunning Sunsets

**THROWBACK POST**

March 3 2014:

Sunset and Clouds 3.3.14

Stunning sunset last night!

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March 11 2014:
Sunset WOW 3.11.14
Gives me the warm fuzzies …. Sunset this past Sunday … ♡

Poetry: I Am Certain of Nothing

March 4 2016

Pink Blossoms 3.4.16

“I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the Heart’s affections and the truth of the Imagination.” -John Keats

Deep within E.E. Cummings a mysterious bird began to sing when he read the above words written by John Keats.

love is a place

love is a place
& through this place of
love move
(with brightness of peace)
all places

yes is a world
& in this world of
yes live
(skilfully curled)
all worlds.
e.e. cummings

“His poems were his way of saying YES.” -from the book “enormous Smallness”.

xoxo

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

Photography: Adventures and Trees and Sunset

**THROWBACK POST**

February 18 2012:

Galena Creek 2.18.12

Adventures at Galena Creek Park … So much enjoy this sound!

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February 22 2014:

Tree Sunset 2.22.14

Amazing sky, amazing tree, amazing sunset …. love ….. from our walk yesterday.

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February 25 2014:

Trees Sunset 2.25.14

More trees from our park visit. Remember going to the park and playing on the seesaw and the monkey bars?

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

Lessons from Nature: One Thousand Years

February 17 2016:

“On the same spot I sit today
Others came, in ages past, to sit.
One thousand years, still others will come.
Who is the singer, and who the listener?” -Nguyen Cong Tru

View from Near TMCC Spring 2015
(View from North Reno, near TMCC campus, Spring 2015)

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles: