Poetry: A Drive Down Memory Lane

Fall Trees and Leaves Memory Lane Poem November 2017

A Drive Down Memory Lane

Why did the beautiful and fun
memories hurt so badly
Why did her chest feel
heavy and her stomach in knots

The place where she and
her children had spent
seven years of their lives.

The place where her son
spent his young life
from one year old
through eight years old.

Driving past the many sidewalks
and trail where she had taken
walks alone, walks with
just her son, and walks
together as a family.

Driving past the home
her parents had lived in,
the home she and her kids had lived in,
the second home her parents had lived.

Remembering neighbors she had
chatted with. Rememembering
the spread of holiday cheer.

Oh, the pain, the pain.
Why do such wonderful
memories hurt her heart.

Whey does she feel
a sense of loss
no longer living
in this neighborhood.
No longer having
her parents living
in the same neighborhood.

Why does she feel
like nothing turned
out as she had wanted
it to evolve.

Why does she feel
like she has failed
her children in
not providing them
with the same kind
of home that they
loved so much
in their early childhood?

Why does she feel
like she has given up?
Why do the tears flow
in mourning something
that never really was?

She keeps reminding
herself that nothing
is permanent. The
only thing that’s
permanent is change
itself.

She reminds herself
that home is truly
where the heart is.
Yet, what if the
heart is closed and
doesn’t want to hear
these things.

What if she reminds
herself that none of
it seems to have gone as
she wanted it to go,
the way she dreamed
for it turn out.

Seems as if she
has been but
a piece of sand
in a vast ocean
of life tossing
her here and there
into this experience
and that expeirence.

She thinks she should
not return to this
place if it is so
paintful …

but then she knows
she must keep returning
until she has felt
all the pain there
is to feel for in
feeling the pain and
being with the pain
loving the pain
embracing the pain
is she assured
of the joy and beauty
that awaits her
on the other side.

She may not have
fully let herself
feel the pain at the time
she and her children
had to leave their
home and neighborhood.

Brushed it under
the heart she did.
Believing she could not feel the pain.
She knows she let herself feel
some of the pain.
Yet, there is more there.

She makes a new
commitment to continue
to visit this neighborhood
until she has let herself
feel every single bit
of greif, guilt, and sadness
there is to feel.

She will feel it, feel the
aches in her chest, feel
the knots in her stomach
feel and taste the salty tears as
they stream down her face.

She reflects back on
these times as some of
the happiest of her
and her childens lives.

So carefree and joyful.
Doing many things together
as a family, many adventures,
every trip in the car an adventure.

It seems those times are no longer.
Where have they gone? The kids are
no longer kids. One a teenager and
one a pre-teen. Change.

Change is the nature
of life. This season
reminds us always that this
is how it flows. Change.

Why did she grip so tightly
to that time in her life,
in her kids life?

Why does she not want to
let it go? Wy does she
remember it with longing?

Why does she feel lost
in shifting to this
new normal for her
and her kids?

Interests have shifted.
What was fun and exciting
is no longer?

How does she go with the
flow, with the change,
without clinging to the
past?

She does it one breath
at a time. One blink at
at time. One step at a
time. One gratitude
thought at a time.
One act of kindness
at a time. One smile
at a time.

With kindness and
love directed to herself
and her heart.

She does it by observing
and not letting herself
get caught in the spiral
of emotions. Be with them,
feel them, and let them
release to reveal the new
normal. As it will only
be the new normal for a short
time. That is the nature
of life.

For life will support
in whatever stage of
life one finds oneself.

Nature is the Divine’s
Gift to allow one to
experiene change and
the cyclicle nature
of life outside of
oneself, yet still,
it is within as we are
one with nature.

Be still. Feel the emotions.
Let them pass through
like the wind passes
through the autumn leaves.
And know.
This is life.
And we are always
supported and loved.
-2017 Lessons from Nature

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is arriving November 2017. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 11 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

Poetry: The Key of Alchemy

“The Key of Alchemy”

When ignored,
the darkness within
slowly erodes this physical body
When stuffed and buried deep within,
it silently grows stronger.

At some point along the path
and at many times,
the darkness surfaces.
Like a bullet train
or ever so slowly as a tortoise.
It will not be denied.

Keep turning our hearts away, we can.
Yet, the darkness will not depart
until it has space to be recognized.

The darkness, the shadows
only wish and pine for ….

Go here to read more …

The Key of Alchemy by Camilla Downs

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is arriving November 2017. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 11 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

 

Poetry: The Dance of Lillian – Happy 16th Birthday

Team TLC Sunset Walk Damonte Ranch Trail 6.18.17 #15

I’m a month late posting this, yet I promised Lillian that I would write a post dedicated to her …. xoxo

The Dance of Lillian

She came into this world
with her own agenda.
She came missing the short
arm of chromosome number 18.

Never mind what they
thought about how
they would parent her.

They would quickly
learn no parenting
manual existed for
the lessons she was
to bring with her
through this incarnation.

She delivered the
gift of shattered
expectations early
in her Earth life
as Lillian.

She had chosen
as a mom someone
who had many uncomfortable
lessons to learn.

Patience was to
be another of the
lessons she brought
with the tiny little
body she inhabited.

She was not done yet.
The next gift delivered
flowed into their
lives as a pure
cold stream runs
through the land.

That message.
Acceptance.

Acceptance of what life
had delivered and would
deliver.

This little bundle
that grew into a bright
shining light had
many lessons bundled within.

The next was to be
release of judgments.
Oh. That one stung
worse than an unwanted
bee sting on a warm
sunny day. A sting
that lingered for
years, resurfacing
at just the right moment.

This little bundle
who could be anything
but a bundle of joy.
A bundle of anger,
anxiety, violence, and
all kinds of negativity.

With this bundle
came the lesson of
living in the present
moments of life.
Being mindful and
learning the art
of mindfulness.

Responding to this one
from the present moments
of life instead of hurts
from the past. Oh. This
was one of the hardest
lessons yet.

This had nothing to do
with this little bundle,
now a blossoming teen.
As she may have come
into this world in all
her nakedness.

Yet, she contained in
the fibers of her very
being, a Divinely pure
mirror that served to reflect
to the one called Mom
the lesson that it
was she who needed
to go within, to
confront her past,
to feel what she had
not wanted to feel,
And release it.

This would be the Mom’s
lesson of learning how to
live in the present moments
of life and to embrace the
art of mindfulness.

Four pounds and five
ounces of life changing,
life altering, life correcting
joy arrived on the evening
of September 14 2001.

Gratitude does not
even begin to describe
what the Mom feels about
the tiny bundle and she
deciding to have these
roles in this life.

The blossoming teen
was the catalyst
to teaching the mom that
she had it all wrong.
She and all children
are our awakeners.
They are not to
be pushed to the side,
put in the corner,
talked down to,
treated harshly,
abused, controlled,
barked at with commands
and “because I said so”
ridiculousness.

They are to be
respected and
treated as equals.
They may inhabit tiny
little bodies when they
first arrive.

Yet, the souls within
these tiny precious bodies
have much to teach us.
She came in missing
the short arm of her
chromosome number 18.

The lesson that encompasses
all of the other lessons
she brought forth.

Different.

She taught the mom
that she was going to be
the one who lives life
differently.

Mom learned how to live
life from the heart,
trusting the whisperings
of the heart.

She, who now enters
her sixteenth orbit
around the sun in this
Lillian body.

Happy, Happy Birthday
YOU beautiful being.
Thank you for blessing me
and being my awakener.

I Love You,
Camilla
Your Earth Mom

*******************************************

In addition to this, I thought it would be fun to link to her birthday posts over on the Team TLC blog and past birthday posts!

Happy 16th Birthday to Lillian Plus Camilla and Lillian September 2017 Date Day

She Spread Her Wings …. And Flew – Happy 15th Birthday Lillian

Happy 14th Birthday Lillian

Happy Birthday Lillian … Camilla

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is arriving November 2017. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 11 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

 

Spoken Poetry: Love is the Way

Lessons from Nature … Video #3 … I read “Love is the Way”.

I find it so interesting that the bird chatter picks up in a huge way when I get to the section of the poem about how we all deserve to be loved. I think they agree!

Still working on an outdoor location with better lighting. Here ya go …

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is arriving November 2017. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 11 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

 

Poetry: Spoken Poetry – The Longest and the Shortest Path

The Longest and the Shortest Path … Lessons from Nature #2

Still working on location, natural lighting, sound, and other details. Plus, clearing off enough storage so that the video doesn’t stop before I’m finished! The recording stopped right before the last line of the poem so the words are posted along with it.

I don’t have video editing software so did the best I could with getting the nature photograph to be a part of the video too. Press the “i” button in the upper right of the video to see the photo that pairs with this poem.

Soon I’ll also begin incorporating live video here on facebook to read poems and other topics.

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

Experimenting with Videos – Got to Be Real

My 11-year-old son,Thomas Darnell, has taken over management of my YouTube account. With his nudging, along with nudging from within, there will be more videos to come.

This is the first video of myself I’ve done in a while. They are usually of something in nature or of Thomas or Lillian. In this debut video I announce more videos to come and ask your thoughts. Much gratitude … xoxo

“Your poetry speaks to the heart and your strength is much needed in today’s world. Your voice should be heard by a bigger audience.” -Marion W., Nevada

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

Poetry: Free to Be You

I was recently led to a wonderful community of poets and am blessed that one of my poems was featured last month. I am deeply grateful to have found a loving community with which to share my nature inspired poetry.

Thank you to Thomas for taking this picture of me; which I feel exudes freedom …

Damonte Ranch Walk 9.13.16 #5

Although I am including the post in it’s entirety here, please take a moment to visit the original post on “Journey of the Heart – Women’s Spiritual Poetry” by going here …

http://womenspiritualpoetry.blogspot.com/2017/02/free-to-be-you-by-camilla-downs.html

I feel as if the poems I write are from nature and shared through my heart and fingers…

My poems are inspired by nature photographs made by me. I sit with a photograph, ask what I am to share, touch my fingers to the keyboard, close my eyes, and let the message flow. It is as if nothing else exists when I’m in this flow. It is almost always aligned with something I am in the midst of personally, and will usually answer or clarify an issue for me.

This poem was written the morning after I attended a local show by The Alchemist Theatre. The theme of the show was Providence. We all took white stones, were walked through a beautiful prayer/meditation at which time the name or image that appeared for us was our “name”. We then wrote this name on the white stone.

The message shared with me that night is that I am supposed to plant seeds of loving-kindness wherever I go and these poems are part of that. This served more as confirmation as I’ve known for a while I was supposed to do this, yet, was unclear on how.

“LoveSeed” is the name that came to me during meditation. For quite some time I’ve been dancing in and out of my own darkness and shadows. I experienced a shift that night. This is the message I wrote to the members of Alchemist.

“It is when we are in the depths of our own darkness, we can rest assured the light and solutions are simply awaiting our embrace of said darkness, for the light will shine, shine, shine once we patiently dance with the darkness.”

The next day I sat with this picture of trees which I took in the summer of 2016 and thought, “What do you have to share?” This poem is nature’s message to me and anyone else to whom it speaks and one of the many love seeds I am to plant.

Between Trees San Antonio July 2016

Free to Be You
by Camilla Downs

Light and peace
await you dear one.
I know this is
your heart’s desire.

It’s there.
It never leaves you.
It cannot leave you
for it is what you are.

The light is the Source.
And you are the light.

At times you choose
to recede into the darkness,
and disconnect from the Light.

Pass through the darkness,
you must,
if you wish to
emerge into the light.
The darkness can always
be transcended.

And emerge you will.
Emerging into the light.
Merging with the light.

BEing the light.
You will know this.
You will feel it.
As the light embraces you
and becomes you,
all else will lift
and you shall be set free.

Free to be you,
free to come home
to the true you,
free to share divine love
in the way only you can share.

Come,
Be in the glory
of peace and light
for this is your inheritance.

Ever there,
Patiently waiting
for your awakening.

My poems and nature photographs will soon be available as gift post cards and published in a book tentatively titled, Lessons from Nature. If you would like to be notified when these are available, please comment here or send an email to CamillaDowns @ gmail . com …. Thank you for your support!

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles: