**THROWBACK POETRY**

August 2023

Unfinished Poem

White puffy clouds in the sky
You know how I feel
Bright blue sky
You know how I feel

The first time we met
I could feel him in my bones
Heart beating faster, entire body lit up,
Lightheaded
Sizzling, tingling,
thick clouds of sweet, sticky nectar invading my brain
Drunk on him, I was

I’d lose all capacity
To think and speak coherently

We began texting
It felt as if we gave one another
Permission to go deeper

Holding hands in the darkness
We were safe from the world spinning around us

Sharing a little more with each message sent
And with each of those messages
The fondness grew stronger
I felt safe with him

A light breeze blowing through my hair
You know how I feel
The cool water caressing my body
You know how I feel

His uniqueness
authenticity
beauty
willingness to share his truths with me
His enthusiasm about getting to know me
Filled me with excitement, anticipation

The first time we kissed
Warm, tender, sweet
Delicious

The messages getting hotter
The fondness growing stronger
The hugs shared drenched me
With a feeling of being home

Sitting under a shade tree
You know how I feel
The touch of the cool, soft grass
You know how I feel

That time he touched my inner thigh
Telling me he loved my legs
Igniting the desire even more

I thought this was mutual
He wanting to know more about me, my life
Me wanting to know more about him, his life

Then he turned away,
stopped sharing, stopped reaching out, something had shifted
My neurospicy brain and tender heart
Wanted to make sense of it

Warm sand between my toes
You know how I feel
The scent of honeysuckle
You know how I feel

One minute into me, the next not
This continued for a while
Until I had to turn away
As the Mystery of this Love
Was tormenting me
My fondness, my desire for him
Was not where he could be

I had to leave us Unfinished
Unfinished as is the poem
He wrote to me
That lives in the messages on my phone

Two unfinished poems
That came together for a
Brief moment in time

The sun shining through my window
You know how I feel
The full moon in the deep black sky
You know how I feel

A brief moment in time
To experience an intense, sizzling
Safe, bright connection
The bits of our lost souls coming together
For a sweet, slippery dance to the tune of our poetry.

Leave out: This experience,
these poems,
The music he shared with me,
him
I treasure.

And That’s where this poem must end.

Unfinished
Yet, complete.

Camilla Downs, 2023