Poetry: Arrivederci

March 23 2024


So long

I just can’t stand the pain
There’s a non-stop herd of elephants
Stampeding across my heart


I’m leaving
I’ve done all I can

The disappointment that keeps getting delivered
Fractures my heart into a trillion pieces
My nervous system simply
Cannot take the rise and fall,
The dopamine hits
Of the delicious intense encounters
And the heart breaking let down
Of disappointment


I’m headed to the craft store
To buy glue, steel, and comfort

I’ll glue the pieces of my heart
Back together,
Melting the steel
Into the crevices
Smooshing in words of comfort, strength,
and resilience
More glue,
More melted steel
More words

So long

I’ll calm the elephants stampeding
Across my heart
I’ll take the love that has hit a dead end
The love that has no where to go

I’ll feed it to the elephants
Pouring the love into them,
Onto them, over them
Until they slowly calm
Inhaling the love with their snouts
Wrapping me in their herd
Taking me into their trust
Showering me with that same love

Showering me, rocking me with their love
Until my heart has healed
Reviving my ability to love
Showering until my light returns
Until the joy returns

They disperse
I disperse
Having a fortified heart
Feeling calm, peaceful

Dare I say
Ready to do it
All over again

That is, of course,
After this process has
Repeated from
Five to five hundred and fifty five times

So long

Camilla Downs 2024

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