February 10 2024

Written June 2023

The Age of Pleasure

Since the time she was a teen,
Fast and intense
Have been the path
For relationships, friendships or otherwise.

Born from messages
Received as a child
Taught, learned, observed,
taken as her own
Not seen,
Not important,
Her heart’s desires not honored.

At the young age that she is
She’s determined
To drain these old wounds
This old trauma.

She no longer wishes to live
This life from things
That happened to her as a child
Things that were done to her as a child
And the emotional presence withheld from her as a child.

With the help of a bad ass therapist
She’s doing it differently
She’s approaching relationships with fresh eyes.

Relationships in her teens and 20’s
Happened incredibly fast, unhealthy,
Withering on the vine of life.

She has learned that the part of her
That is impatient, wanting fast results
Fast results that make her feel important, seen, wanted, desired
All that nonsense is from her past, yet if feels familiar

And part of her still had been craving that,
The part operating from trauma.
She recognizes this now
And declares, “No fucking more!”

This declaration brings with it
Excitement
Anticipation
Lightness
FREEDOM

And Freedom’s just another word
For Nothing Left to Lose.

This is the time for new beginnings
The time for doing it differently
Meeting life in this moment
Not from hurts or trauma of the past
Not with biased future visions
Fully meeting this moment.
The Age of Pleasure.

New connections, built slowly, with patience
With intention, with authenticity, with clarity.

Connections with kindred spirits
Ready to have fun together
Ready to share joy together
Ready to share sadness together
Ready to share all the feels together
Ready to share the ride of getting
To know one another.

Sweet friendships
Sweet connections
Sweet lovers
Sweet partners
Born of patience, honesty, openness.

Although there will be jolts
Of falling into the ways of old
She will know the difference of
Responding to old shit
And responding to the dopamine hit
Of kindred spirit connections
When of the latter
She will fully meet that moment
With wild abandon.

She’s decided to be in this moment
On its way, slow and gentle
Or fast and intense

While at the same time, holding space for those who aren’t yet ready

May those who are ready saunter on board
This Meeting of the Moment
As we sail into the mystic. – Camilla Downs

June 13 2023

**You’re 50’s**