Every Lesson Learned is Another Flower Planted**
Thank you Great Spirit for this beautiful Mother Earth.
Thank you for enlightening and awakening lessons disguised as discomfort and failure.
Thank you for the timing and opportunity to learn the depths of true love …. unconditional love.
Unconditional love for self so that I may unconditionally love my children.
That these children who are our greatest teachers and awakeners of our true selves know unconditional love and their worth.
That I may love all my brothers and sisters of this Earth as you love them.
And so it is. 2017, Lessons from Nature
What if? What if all of the suffering of this world, all the fighting, all of the destruction to our Mother Earth; comes down to one global wound? A wound that was inflicted so long ago no one even remembers where or how it happened. What is this wound? Conditional Love.
What if we let this wound heal? What if we nursed this wound? What if we sat with the wound, drained the poison from it, and nurtured it? What if we were to take the time and initial discomfort and learn to unconditionally love our self?
I raise my hand now and say, “I’m in.” I consider our kids to be mirrors to reflect back to us our own thorns and darkness. I’m blessed to have two such mirrors in my life. And sometimes blessings are not comfortable or fun.
Over the past six months these beautiful and amazing mirrors have shown me in a hugely uncomfortable way that I have never loved myself unconditionally and so therefore, I have never loved another unconditionally. And, yes, that includes my own two kids.
This has been a perfectly timed mirror message as I needed to get to a place where I would not let myself be overcome with guilt and sorrow with this knowing. Had I been shown this earlier, I would have sank down deeper into the black hole of despair, judging and becoming the victim.
What if all the times of disrespect, disregard, arguing, back talk, “laziness”, unkindness, excessive use of digital devices are not about what we mistakenly assume? What if it’s about our relationship with our our self and our kids?
What if it’s about how we only conditionally love our self? What if it’s about how we only conditionally loved them when they were wee little ones and on into their young life? What if all they are truly saying is “Love me. All of me. Love me as I am; not as you wish me to be. Don’t shame me. Don’t manipulate me.” What if excessive use of anything is only an attempt to escape from the pain of not feeling loved for who one truly is?
What if we took this same scenario out onto the streets and into the world? What if that person having a meltdown in the grocery store is truly saying, “I am so unloved. I don’t love myself. I’m horrible. No one has ever loved me.” What if all people committing crimes are simply saying the same thing? What if people in power are saying the same thing with decisions or comments they make? What if “natural disasters” and any negative seeming environmental issues are Mother Earth saying, “I need your unconditional love. Love me when you perceive beauty and love me when you don’t perceive beauty.”
None of this to excuse unkind behavior or to give anyone a free pass to wreaking havoc. Yet, when we can not let ourselves be affected by unkindness directed towards us, we will know that we have learned how to unconditionally love our self … And, can now unconditionally love the one directing unkindness our way. No matter what they say or do; our love never waivers. We can look them in the eye and say, “I love you brother.” And, what if, when the other is unconditionally loved, the unkind behavior and the “escapism” simply melt away? What if?
My take: It’s not about the unkind behavior or the object used to escape. It’s about our relationships. It’s about unconditional love. It’s about unconditional love not received as a child. It’s about being raised with and taught conditional love.
It’s absolutely and definitely not about blaming our own parents as they could not love in a way they had not been loved or taught. It’s about how most of us learned to love one self only conditionally. It’s about sharing that conditional love with others and only conditionally loving Mother Earth. It’s about passing that conditional love to our kids and so the cycle repeats.
I don’t claim to know whether this is “correct” or to know the solution. I’m also not implying with these words that we simply let kids rule their own life, making their own decisions without our guidance. There is a drastic distinction between conscious and unconscious parenting.
I do feel that the more people who are unconditionally loved, the more peaceful and joyful world we will create. So I’m starting where I can. With me.
I vow to unconditionally love my self. I vow to clear my own cobwebs so that I can be a mirror for my kids without my past interfering. I vow to unconditionally love my kids. I will release all expectations and agendas I have for each of them. I will engage with them. I will not manipulate. I will not cause them to feel guilt or shame when they are sharing of their true self. I vow to try. I may fail at times. Yet, I vow to notice when I have failed and to let them know when I have failed. I vow.
*This musing was inspired by many factors.
- In March I experienced five sessions with an amazing intuitive reflexology healer.
- About two weeks ago I was led to a book titled, “The Awakened Family – A Revolution in Parenting”.
- About a week ago, I was introduced to the Real Love concept.
- And on the evening of April 19th I attended The Alchemist Theatre presents Earth.
- All of these combined with personal family matters led to this musing.
**I wrote the prayer above Wednesday morning, while in my car waiting for Lillian at physical therapy. I was only going to post the above beautiful picture onto my instagram account and the prayer flowed forth. The title for the prayer was “delivered” to me via Reverend Levity during the Alchemist Theatre Earth show. I say “delivered” as she did not personally give it to me. It came forth for her during the meditation portion of her sermon. My heart nearly leapt from this body when she made this comment. Thank you Jessica!
***Fortunately there are ones who know unconditional love. Blessings and gratitude to those who were raised with unconditional love and who share(d) that unconditional love with their own kids and others.
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.