The Battle Born State and Liberation of this Soul – Monday Night Poetry

August 1 2023

@mondaynightpoetrynv last night. 💜💜💜

Prompt was Battle Born. I wrote this new poem and read an oldie from 2017 – Liberation of this Soul

The Battle Born state welcomed me into her loving embrace in 2006
I cracked, I fell apart, I broke into a million pieces
My body essence oozing into the soil, the rock, the sagebrush
My life fluids draining into Lake Tahoe and Washoe Lake
My veins melding with and becoming one with her roots

For 13 years I marinated within this Battle Born cocoon,
being pounded over and over by life
Marinated more, pounded more
Struggling financially
Living the day to day grind of advocating
For my special needs daughter, and her younger sibling
Until finally I was at peace within her embrace

She infused me with strength, sustenance, and knowing
Every walk taken, with the landscape, the breeze, the very air
Infusing me with life, populating my heart and mind with
The thoughts and words to write Words of Alchemy
to make decisions,
In fact, to carry on with this life.

In 2019 I emerged from the Battle Born cocoon into the cocoon of my home
Knowing I was to allow my physical body to rest, fall apart, and be healed.
With finally connecting to others who would finish what she could not.

And the day arrived in May of 2023 when the body became mostly healed
And it was time to emerge from the cocoon of my home,
Ready to create
Ready to live
Ready to continue appreciation
for this beautiful, stunning place
That I call home
Northern Nevada.

Photos by @sidewayseightprojects

Liberation of this Soul

She was tired.
Tired of trying to figure it out.

Tired of trying to make things work.
Tired of manipulating circumstances
to make things work.
Tired of trying to control situations to make things work.

Tired of living in confusion.
Tired of the suffering
created by way of her thoughts.

Tired of the chains that
bound her to the suffering.
Tired of dragging those
invisible chains through life.

Tired of not loving herself.
Tired of not being loved.
Tired of the responsibility of it all.

Tired of questioning her every decision.
Tired of hiding the Truth from herself.
Tired of running from her own self.

Tired of the darkness within.
Tired of the pull of the ego.

What she craved.
What she desperately needed.
Was … FREEDOM.

In desperation she dropped to her knees.
Crying to the all knowing,

Take this tired body,
Take this tired mind,
Take this confusion,
Take this suffering,

She let it all go.
She released it to the divine.

She asked for liberation
from her self-induced suffering.

Liberate this soul.
Liberate this heart.

Allow this heart to open.
Allow this heart to
receive and know unconditional love.
Allow this mind to know Clarity.

Liberation to the graceful
place of Knowing Freedom.
Liberation to the Place
of letting go.

Letting Go
And saying Yes
to Life. – ©Camilla Downs

Stepped Out of the Comfort Zone with Bright Colors

July 30 2023

Today I stepped out of my clothing comfort zone. I wore a colorful outfit that I like, just because I like it. 💥💥💥

I did not wear the same old mostly all black clothing I usually wear. Clothing I perceive to look best on me. With the help of my wonderful therapist I am learning to love this body, be okay with how it looks in whatever I choose to wear. Saggy arms, varicose, bulging veins on my legs and all. So I took multiple selfies to celebrate. 💋💋💋

I hope you take time today, or this week, to celebrate something hard you’ve done. 🎉🎉🎉

Film Festival Screening of 1946: The Mistranslation That Shifted Culture

July 30 2023

I had THE BEST afternoon. Ashley and I had coffee and lunch at a new to us restaurant. The pho was absolutely amazing and delicious. The atmosphere was perfect.

Then we attended the @ciff_nv Film Festival screening of 1946: The Mistranslation That Shifted Culture (@1946themovie) (1946)

Kathy Baldock ( @kathyvbaldock ) and I met in 2007. I have observed her years of dedication, research, and advocacy regarding this topic. This is a powerful documentary. I laughed, I cried, I felt anger, and I was inspired.

Please spread the word about this movie. Watch it, share it, help bring it to the mainstream. The world needs this. ❤️❤️

Thank you to Ashley ( @eralomusic ) for the beautiful company today. You are amazing!!

Throwback Post: That Time We Lived in a Tiny Home

**THROWBACK POST**

December 3 2015:

A full day of subbing in Stillwater, then home and cooking dinner while these two made homemade gifts. My heart overflows with joy at their excitement of making homemade gifts. I cannot wait to share with y’all what Thomas made Lillian!!

Wild n crazy dinner of a gigantic pancake turned more into a pancake crumble with apple smoked bacon. Oh well! They loved it, so what the heck!! And now they are playing with Thomas’ cars …. And I was standing right there washing dishes.

Here we are in this tiny 800 sq ft and they are right there under my feet! I looked down at them and thought, “I love this life. Thank you, thank you.” Sending that love out to you! Love, sweet love.

Movie Day: Tie Herself Into Knots – The Barbie Movie With Peter Pan and Wendy

July 29 2023

Couldn’t take it! Barbie time!

“I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us.” – American Ferrara (Gloria) … Made my eyes leak, big time.

Movie and pizza night with Lillian. Her choice: Peter Pan and Wendy. 🖤🧚🏼🖤

Easing Back to Reno

July 14 2023

Easing back to Reno with a walk and an amazing, refreshing swim.

Our flight landed about 11:30 last night, finally getting to bed about 1:30am.
We had an incredible and fun time this year. I forgot to post the photo I took of the Syndrome Coordinators in the closing slideshow.

Thank you to Matt & Julie who hosted this year’s conference. You did it!!!

The Best Date Night

July 23 2023

I had the best date tonight! Thomas leaves tomorrow for two and a half weeks, visiting friends in Philadelphia (and hopefully connecting with our C18 friends, Mike & Cierra!)

Thomas made me laugh so hard. Especially when they said I’m not like any of their friend’s parents, and that I’m normal. What? I’m normal. Thomas says they mean I’m a normal human. We had such rich conversation tonight. I plan on doing as much of this as possible before they leave for college next summer.

We went to Royce for burgers. I had the portobello burger. So good. Then stopped for ice cream at Icecycle Creamery for Thomas.

Ending with a stop at Aubry Harris Park, talking about the many years of memories here and Bartley Ranch. Car picnics while enjoying the view, scavenger hunts, and walks. My heart bursts with joy that we had all of these experiences together.

The Good Side of It

July 29 2023

This morning I’m grateful for Discord. Several years ago some teens met in the gaming world. They became friends. They met in person last summer, with one of the parents hosting them in New Jersey.

This summer, a parent is hosting in Philadelphia, with one of the friends coming all the way from The Netherlands! The teens created a group Discord message including all the parents. I love this technology! Thomas gets to have these amazing experiences, and I, and the other parents, get to follow along and know they are safe and happy. Life is beautiful. 🖤🌸🖤

Refreshing Water With Cool Clouds While Basil Works

July 18 2023

It’s nearly impossible for me to describe how much I love being in the water.

I had a luxurious swim this morning after my walk and HIIT workout. Felt delicious.

Also, cool clouds and lamppost outside of Shim’s Surplus last night.

July 21 2023

Umm, sir, what are you doing?

Came home from my workout to this. Chad Basil the First, so darn cute, even when he’s on the table, and he’s not supposed to be. 🖤🖤🖤

The Proud Vibes Continue – Phi Theta Kappa

July 18 2023

This arrived in the mail just before we left for our trip. I’m so happy for and proud of Thomas that I could just burst, showering anyone near with love confetti. ❤️🎉❤️