Poetry & Photography: Sunset Walk Today

Sunset Walk Today

Hand them over to me
Let them all go

I am the healer
Who is ever here

Open the door
Step into my embrace.

The unlovely
The uncomfortable

Bring it to me
And we shall
Breathe with
It in togetherness.

To further the
Opening of the heart.

It will bring sadness
It will bring discomfort

Yet as we breathe
Through it
Walk through it
With love

On the other side
It shall be known,
A heart opening
Experience this was.

Releasing what
Does not serve
While gathering
Compassion, empathy
And non-judgment to
Take its place.

I am here for you always,
Mother Nature
©️2019 Camilla Downs

I only intended to post these photos on instagram. Yet a poem wanted to be birthed.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo

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**Become a Patron and Support my creations of photography, poetry, books, writings, and mentoring. Click on the below photo and support with an amount that feels right for you. If you’d like this to be a monthly gift, please note so in the comments. Much Gratitude to you!**

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**Current Work In Progress as of Spring 2019: A Collection of Poetry. Tentatively titled, “Words of Alchemy”.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo

Photography and Poetry: Love Arrives

Love Arrives

Love gives,
Love receives,
Love is wet,
Love is dry,
Love is within,
Love is without,
Love is above,
Love is below,
Love is warm,
Love is cold,
Love is stardust,
Love is sand,
Love is water,
Love is ice,
Love is dark,
Love is light,
Love is all there is.

All which appears
Not to be love,
Is simply love going in
The opposite direction.

-©2017 Camilla Downs

**Become a Patron and Support my creations of photography, poetry, books, and writings. Go here and support with an amount that feels right for you. Much Gratitude to you!** 

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo

This 11 Year Old is Published

**THROWBACK POST**

April 7 2017:

I just realized that I never shared this …. xoxo

Thomas’ segment on KOLO 8 on Friday, 4.7.17, talking about Biggest Little Photographer. It’s about 2 minutes. xoxo

“Thomas is so cool! If you didn’t get a chance to see his interview Friday, please watch it here. This 11 year old is published!!!” – Sarah Johns, KOLO 8

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo

A Philosophy of Walking

And she walked.
And she walked.
She walked until
Arriving at
The home of
Peace and Joy.
Discovering once there,
She had been
Here all along.

I went for an hour long walk this morning. My body and mind did not want to go. I went anyway.

Just as a cool glass of water slakes my thirst on a scorching hot day, going for walks quenches the thirst of my soul and heart to know my true self, to heal, to release, to allow joy, and to be at peace. Walking guides me in the loving way to process life, to fulfill life, and to let life be.

For the past 18 years I have been going for walks. The meaning and depth of the walks have shifted throughout the years. What started as an activity simply to satisfy my desire to be active, bloomed into a walking practice. A practice to process healing, to release, to discover my authentic self, and to connect with nature.

Going for a walk at least three times a week has literally kept me going when I felt I could not carry on, and propelled me into bliss in times of joy. Each time I walk I have a different experience. At times, the walk overflows with peace and bliss and at other times, I’m ready to be done the second I begin. Those times are when I can’t seem to get out of my head. Worried about this, that, or the other; or lost in the past or distant future. Turning the worry over and over like one would a compost pile. Hoping a resolution will bloom from the compost pile of worry.

Most days the walking, along with nature as a helper, snaps me awake from tending the worry compost pile. My entire being melds with nature during these walks and reminds me what I already know. That the worrying only buries solutions deeper in the compost pile.

Going for walks and being amongst the trees, sun, clouds, grass, rocks, flowers, bushes, birds, wind, and weather nourish my heart and soul. Just as fruits and vegetables provide this body the nourishment it needs to continue; walking does this, and much more, for my heart and soul.

Going for walks is like being at an outdoor art gallery where nature changes the artwork every day, in fact every minute at times. Walking teaches the art of letting go of that which you find beautiful and meaningful. Walking teaches to quiet the mind, seize the moment, breathe and let soak in every morsel of beauty nature shares.

For the beauty nature displays while on a walk, is ever changing dependent upon the time of day, the season, whether clouds obstruct the sun, and whether it is near sunrise, midday, or sunset. Walking teaches the art of experiencing the continual changes of life as nature experiences the changing seasons.

Going for a walk opens the writer’s spigot and helps to flow the words of my heart and soul. I know it may seem I’m assigning much responsibility for these walks. In truth, my walking practice works in concert with a meditation and mindfulness practice, along with a writing practice. All of these practices to be held grounded by the practice of allowing myself to physically feel the emotions of life. This quintet of practices guides me in walking into the unlovely aspects of life and welcoming uncomfortable emotions.

I’ve been walking with my kids since they were infants. I cherish every single walk taken with them. They are 17 years old and 13 years old now. Once they were old enough for one to stay at home, I began going with each one of them for a walk once or twice per week and a walk as a family once or twice per week. I continued to have walks alone, one to three times per week. Now that they’ve gotten older, the walks with each of them has slowed a bit. Yet, it is my hope that I opened their eyes to the beauty and philosophy of walking.

When my daughter was seven years old and my son three years old; I discontinued paying for cable and eventually donated our television. Walking is one activity that took the place of time spent in front of the television. I was moved to incorporate picture making into the walks as well. I have thousands of photographs of our walks throughout the years.

Whenever my son or daughter had a tough day, I would be sure to have a walk with him or her after dinner. The three of us had many deep and meaningful conversations during these walks. Mixed with periods of silence to simply enjoy the beauty. Not to be left out, mixed with much fun and silliness also. Rolling down hills, playing with our shadows, catching leaves as they blow from the tree, hitting pine cones with sticks, running through sprinklers, playing in the mud, feeding the ducks, helping worms cross the sidewalk, and making nature photographs.

I was not only moved to photograph our family during these walks; I was moved to photograph nature herself. There are only a few occasions I’ve gone for a walk and not taken at least one photograph. These photographs helped to inspire poetry to flow forth from my heart. I had never read or written poetry up until about four years ago. This seemed to be an extension of the walking and other practices.

I fought myself on going for the walk this morning. It was 32 degrees outside and I was already cold. I wanted to get warm and cozy, sit and write this story. My heart knew the moment I stepped foot on the trail, I’d be grateful I listened to the call of the walk. May you be inspired to explore how walking could create a shift in your life; whether that be ever so small or ever so big.

©2019 Camilla Downs
(Photo made by me – 2016 – Geiger Way Lookout)

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo

Poetry and Photography: This is Us

**THROWBACK POST**

September 23 2016:

To bend and bow,
to be flexible,
to be strong
to be resilient,
This is me,
and this is you.
©2016 Camilla Downs

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo

How Writing Helps Me With Parenting

Writing has been a sanity saving bridge which has led from processing parenting experiences to peace and solutions. Single parenting two children led me on a journey for which I have no map. Through writing, I create the map as I travel this wild and wonderful parenting safari.

My parenting journey has included many life lessons disguised as sinkholes, road blocks, and dead ends. My daughter, Lillian, was diagnosed at age 3 years old with a rare condition called 18p-. This chromosome deletion only affects 1 in 56,000 people. Her sibling, Thomas, is a strong willed empath who either speaks his mind or holds how he feels inside until he explodes. In 2006 I became a single parent to them, lost nearly everything, and was forced to file bankruptcy.

I have been single parenting Thomas and Lillian for the past twelve years. Lillian is 17 years old now and the main way that 18p- affects her is an inability to articulate words, anxiety, chronic pain, irrational fears, and difficulty processing strong emotions. Thomas is 13 years old with his own difficulties of being a sibling to Lillian and puberty has hit him full throttle.

Writing led me to peace and acceptance of my role as parent to these two unique and beautiful children. Writing brought peace and solid steps to take in regards to medical issues, schooling, and emotional challenges faced by Thomas and Lillian. In some situations, writing was not the only factor; yet, it has been a shining thread of grace that connected my heart and mind along this parenting journey. And still is.

Several factors led to a loosely held practice of writing every day. When I became a single parent I intuitively felt moved to learn the practice of mindfulness, meditation, and journaling.

My practice of going for a walk three times a week also solidified into a committed practice of noticing and immersing in nature. All of these practices combined with the writing practice opened my eyes to a different style of parenting, a more focused and connected style.

My laptop became the couch I rest upon; while writing of my experiences became the therapist. This also serves as a tool for me to sync with life and for giving myself feedback for those experiences. Writing became an avenue to connect with and release the myriad of emotions and experiences of parenting.

The writing becomes an observer of my experiences. One that allows me to step away from the situation by pouring my heart onto the digital pages. I feel we all know in our heart the solution to tough parenting situations; or at the least, what would be the better of available options.

Although I choose to publicly share much of my experiences through writing, one does not have to write with the intention of sharing with others. The very act of writing about experiences and feelings is deeply therapeutic. There are many writing practices from which to choose. Writing with pencil and paper, using a laptop, writing in the morning, in the evening, in silence, while listening to music, at home, in a cafe, in nature … You get the idea.

The how, when and where is a completely personal preference. The portion of the practice I have found to work best for me and those I have mentored is to first get centered in one’s heart. If you find yourself stumbling and no words flowing; this is a sign you are still centered in your mind.

Take three long, deep breaths and gently release whatever thoughts you may be having. Begin to write about the parenting issue facing you. Write about your feelings and thoughts on the issue. Once you feel finished with this portion, stop for a moment. Take three long, deep breaths once again dropping your focus into the heart.

Next, write these six words … “What do I need to know?” Don’t hesitate. Just write. Write until the words are no longer flowing. Write no matter how wacky or scary this may seem. Write no matter what crazy thoughts come to mind. Write those too.

For some of you this may not be concrete enough and seem like “fluff”; and for you, it simply may not work. Yet, I’m betting that more than half of those who try this will at least feel at peace with the situation and at most know what actions to take that are in everyone’s highest and best interest.

I have experienced parenting guidance in this way and have seen others receive peace and guidance as well. If you aren’t accustomed to writing, it may take a while to grease the writing wheels. Don’t give up. Try it for at least a month. No one has to see what you write. Delete it, tear it up, shred it, crumple and stomp on it, burn it, eat it, whatever.

Write. Write and watch the transformation of becoming a more connected and focused parent. Not only that. Write and watch the transformation as you begin to trust yourself and become more at peace with life.

©2019 Camilla Downs

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo

Listening to the Calm and Wise Voice Within

**THROWBACK POST**

July 7 2014

I feel it’s good for us to remember that we don’t always have to stay positive, happy and smiling. We must allow ourselves to feel the yin and the yang. Without the one, we wouldn’t know the other.

We each have our own unique journey to travel. We cannot compare ourself to others. They are on their own journey, for different reasons. The secret I have learned and am still learning is to listen to the calm inner voice. It’s that voice that has all the answers but gets drowned out by the noise of our thoughts, what ifs, worries, fears, judgments and wanting to control situations and other people.

It’s that voice that after you hear its call, you think, “why do that or where is that coming from?” In my case, the ego will pop up and rip me a new one about how I don’t deserve any of what my intuitive self knows I can, should and will have.

One weekend in 2013, I prayed to hear the answer I knew was within me. The calm inner voice said, “You will ask for help. And this is how you will do it.” Then, my ego stepped in and said, “Are you crazy?” and a bunch of other not nice stuff!

The calm inner voice so patiently said, “You will do this, not just for yourself. But so that others can be free from what’s holding them back, so that others will see that it’s okay to ask for help and so that they can witness the goodness, grace and generosity of others.” There was no arguing with that.

A wave of calm settled over me. After that, I felt empowered and free … No matter what the outside situation. I surrendered to the journey I traveled. It’s my journey to live. I am to live it for a reason. I now know it’s for my own growth, empowerment and freedom and to give back to others by sharing my journey.

This experience brought forth the thought that our kids learn from us by the grace we exhibit. Yet, we must remember that they are on their own journey, just as we are. All we can do is share wisdom with them, praise them, guide them, LOVE them unconditionally, tell them they can have, be, or do anything they desire and show them by example of how we live. What they do with all of this is ultimately their choice.

***************************

Update – February 2019

Still learning to quiet the stories and constant bouncing of thoughts. Yet, I’ve come a heck of a long way since this was written …. Here’s to the unfolding …. xoxo

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is arriving January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo

 

Liquid Gratitude Spilled from My Eyes

I made fresh pico de gallo on the 5th of January 2019 to go with our tradition of every other Saturday nacho dinner.

Thomas had finished eating, Lillian was in the bathtub. I was alone chewing my nachos. A wave of emotions hit me like I imagine a tsunami wave hits land.

My eyes began to sweat with liquid gratitude for the miracle occurring in my mouth. I was chewing the nachos on BOTH sides of my mouth. I have not been able to do that in about two years. I’ve had to chew crunchy foods on the right side only.

I’m aware this sounds silly to some. Yet, there are others with which this will resonate. This is for anyone who has been stricken with gratitude, bliss, and joy over seemingly small things.

I alternated between laughter and eyes sweating the entire meal. I realized I had been given back something more than being able to chew certain foods using ALL of my teeth.

This had nothing to do with sadness. This was pure joy, gratitude, bliss, peace, reassurance, and LOVE. And that pico de gallo was damn good! ❤️❤️

To read more about the back story of getting one of my teeth fixed, go here and here.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is arriving January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo

 

Reaching the Solutions Within Your Own Self

Want a mentor who has deepened into and expanded her heart, who has plunged into the depths of darkness, and soared to the heights of joy and peace? And one who authentically and openly shares this journey? I work with no more than two clients at a time. Reach out to me if this speaks to you …

“Camilla is a wonderful mentor. I took four sessions with her. She taught me simple techniques to connect with my inner self, and enjoy the present moment. She also helped me cultivate more self-trust, self-love, and peace of mind. What I loved the most about her mentoring sessions was that the answers I was seeking for, came from the heart! I also loved the writing and breathing exercises she shared with me. Thank you Camilla!” Jessica Araus, Netherlands

Visit this page to learn more … The Alchemy of You Mentoring Sessions …

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is arriving January 2018. Learn more and order here.

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo