Tag Archives: poetry

Poetry: Water Dance and The Space Within and Shining Star Bag

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September 24 2023

Monday Night Poetry! I read some oldies, plus a work-in-progress. I’m not ready to share the WIP yet so here’s the oldies.

Water Dance

As the suns reflection
Becomes a dancer
Of the water,
She takes by the hand
the one who walks.

She whispers sweet reminders,
To the walkers heart.

She dances elegantly.
She dances of love and grace.
She dances unknown
To many who see her
Only with the eyes.

For those that catch
Glimpses of her water dance
Life loses the illusions
of trickery.

She dances to
Guide them in
Remembering what
Their hearts continue
To know.

She reminds them
They are all different.
Yet, they are all the same.
We are they.
They are we.

The hand she
Took the walker by
Melts into the Sun.
The Sun swallows her
And she swallows the Sun.
They become One.

The one who walks
continues her
Walk of life
Having been reminded
Of what the brain had clouded.
Yet.
What the heart always knows.
And lo, free and lighter, she continues to Walk.
-©️2018, Camilla Downs

The Space Within

There is a space within
A space occupied, it was.

Occupied with judgment
Occupied with harshness
Occupied with unkind thoughts
towards others.

There is a space within
where the darkness
of judgment used to live.

Judgment lives
here no more.
Evicted.
It has been.

There is a space within.

A soft space of love
of compassion
of empathy
of understanding.

For a journey
of a thousand miles has
been lived with
the understanding
that each one of us
has traveled a similar journey.

To be sure,
not the same journey.
No, not the same.
That matters not.

Each has traveled a journey
of a thousand miles.

And each viewed not
according to their journey,
yet viewed with eyes
that flow from the heart.

A heart that knows the two
are connected,
viewed with eyes flowing
from the heart that only
knows unconditional love.

Eyes wide open to
the Truth of each one’s journey.

The Truth that judgment of another is
simply a reflection of judgment
held within one towards oneself.

There is a space within,
a space that was once filled with
the darkness of judgment.

A space that is now
available for compassion
and love for one self and others.

Space to breath easier
Space to live easier
space to live peacefully
Space to allow all to BE
and travel the paths chosen.

There’s a space within.
A Beautiful Space.

May we all release
and expose this space within
for the Beauty it reveals.
-2018 Camilla Downs

This poem flowed forth from the below words I had written at a different time regarding judgments and compassion. For some reason I saved them. Now, I know why.

” ……. The space within me that held the weight of so many judgments …

Judgments against people who thought and felt differently, judgments against single moms, judgments against parents whose kids act out and the kids too.

Every single time one of those judgments was released, a cushion of compassion took its place. There are still some wee judgments hiding in there.

Some that stay hidden and some that peek out to see if its safe. Within me is not a safe zone for judgments … You are released and a warm, soft, loving cushion of compassion takes your place.”

Shining Star Bag

You can take
All the hearts
Nature puts forth

And put them 
All in a bag
Made of stars
Wrapped in a
Bow of beautiful
Green grass.

But there’ll be
Days when no
Matter the beauty
No matter the love
No matter the
Depth of knowing
How the Light
Shines within.

There’ll be days
When a heaviness
Envelops and that
Shining star bag
Full of love means.

Absolutely nothing.

There’ll be days
When the sweetness
And beauty of
Every breath
Is not felt or seen.

Yet, these days
Shall pass.
These days
Shall pass.

Pass, they shall.
And waiting will
Be that shining star
Bag of hearts
And love.

For Nature is
Patient.
Nature is ever there
With love and light.

Love,
The Seed Pod
xoxo
-2017 Lessons from Nature

Poetry: The Garden of My Mind

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July 4 2023

Last night was so much fun! The poetry workshop before the event was powerful! Thanks to Brennan Defrisco and his lovely partner. For my non-local friends, every July is designated as Artown by Reno. A full month of celebrating local artists. 🎉🎉🎉

Last night’s theme was “in my garden”. Here’s the poem I shared.

The Garden of My Mind

Wildflowers sprouting from every fold and groove
Each wildflower overflowing with ideas

Sharp
Heavy
Red Hot
Booming

At times the heartache doesn’t want to leave
Clinging to the familiar

The Garden of My Mind

Calm
Chaotic
Mysterious, Wild, Confused
Difficult to contain excitement
Loving those dopamine hits
Lit by listening to good music

Working on this
Oh, wait, I need to finish this
Wait, I need to start that
Wait, I need to run that errand
Okay. Working on this again
Crap! What’s that burning smell?
Damn. Forgot I put toast in the toaster. Every freakin’ time!

Saying nasty things to myself
Saying sweet, good things to myself

In the past, never knowing who this person
Named Camilla really is
The Garden of My Mind
The Neurodivergent Mind
The Traumatized Mind
In the present, learning who this person
Named Camilla really is

It’s beautiful
It’s fickle
Blowing with the winds of the present moment

Healing from childhood trauma
Memories of something horrible
Done to her as a young child
Which led to teen and adult trauma
Becoming what was later coined as
#Metoo

Learning at an early age
To dissociate when horrible things
Were happening to the body

A mind now processing
Healing from such horrid happenings.

A mind experiencing freedom
Like never before
Freedom like when she was a teen, a young adult
Minus the drugs and alcohol

A wilding of the mind
Learning how to be kind to herself
Learning how to let the mind
And she, be the shiny, weird, quirky, wild, chaotic
Human she came here to be.

The Garden of My Mind
A magical, colorful, place of sticky ideas
Some wild, some amazing, some nonsensical
Yet always lovely and fragrant.

The heartache becoming
Lighter
Softer
Cooler
Letting go

It’s never too late to take
A stroll, stay a while, and weed

The garden of our minds.
2023 Camilla Downs

Wild Flower – New Poetry

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June 5 2023

I went again. I absolutely adore this group of people. The poems shared were powerful, meaningful, and passionate.

I shared a new poem, written today.

Wild Flower

As a young girl she loved music,
moving her body to the beat
With her record player and 45’s
She was a Dancing Queen.

Music made everything better
The discomfort of Life melted
Leaving only the beat and lyrics.

She feels the beat, the words,
in her heart, her soul, her bones.

As a child and teen,
Soul Train, Solid Gold,
American Bandstand
Were her Saturdays.

Dreams of being a Solid Gold dancer, Being a Rockette.
She assumed these dreams to be out of reach.

As it went, as she got older,
Life took it’s twists and turns
With dreams of becoming a dancer unrealized.

As she became an adult, married, had kids
She hid that part of herself
Rarely dancing.

2023 has brought an emergence
After 8 years of withdrawing from Society,
Refraining from being social,

She says, No longer.
Fuck that!
I’m dancing.

I’m dancing when I go for walks.
I’m dancing when I’m in the grocery store.
I’m dancing in my seat while driving.
I’m dancing while working.
I’m dancing while at the gym.
I’m dancing while making out.

I’m letting the music, the beat, the words
Move my gypsy, Pisces soul
As I float into the mystic.
I’m here to let the Wild Flower Within,
bloom,
sharing my scent,
My colors, my vibrance with all I encounter.

Let’s put on our Boogie Shoes
And do it all night long
Let’s Dance!
-2023 Camilla Downs

Group photo from last night. Beautiful people. ❤️❤️❤️

New Poetry: She Emerges

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May 29 2023

I attended the Spoken Views Live Poetry Night tonight. Second time and this time I read a poem I wrote today. I freaking, absolutely LOVE this group of people. This is my new Monday night jam!

Photo of me on stage, a photo with the two people who welcomed me last Monday, Mountain and Marleta, and two photos of my new shirt (which I LOVE!!!)

Here’s the poem I read:

She Emerges

It’s been 15 years.
The amount of time it takes
For one to blossom from infant to teenager.

During those 15 years
She dove deep
Exploring her inner world
Drawing within herself.

No more socializing,
No more attending events
Attaching herself to the walls
Of her inner life.

Safely around herself
She spun a secure cocoon.

Weaved with the essence of
Her two kids, safe friends, family,
And healing and inspiring books.

Within this protective casing
She dove deep into confronting
Past hurts, past trauma.

Sitting with the pain, the discomfort
Allowing herself to feel every
Emotion that appeared.
Sadness, anger, joy, happiness,
content, shame, guilt.

She dove deep into experiencing
The silence of nature
The silence of life
The beauty of nature
The beauty of allowing nature to bring forth
Healing words to share with the world.

She spent many years of her
Life within this cocoon
Radically changing how
She viewed the world
And her fellow humans

Nearing the end of this molting period
She knew the radical transformaiton
Of her inner life, her heart, her soul
Was complete.

She began shedding
her protective casing.
Only to realize that her physical body
Was not yet ready to emerge.

The years of financial struggle and worry
Had taken a toll on her body.
She spent the next couple of years
In search of what ailed her body.
Finally discovering and addressing the reason.

Once her physical body was on board
With emerging,
And after learning that she, like her kids
Is neurodivergent
She realized there remained
Something within that begged
For release, for transformation

She spent months in search of
Just the right therapist.
This is exactly what the trauma
Of her youth, teenage years, and young adult needed.

An outside force to clear the
Remains of what she alone could not clear.

With each session,
the protective casing she had
Spun all those years ago
Began to crumble

She emerged as her authentic self
Her shining self
Ready to share
Of herself without fear
That shining and sharing of her true self
Would attract unwanted and unlovely attention.

For so long ago, as a young child she
Learned that when she shined,
It attracted that which felt wrong
And that which she did not want.

She is helping that young Camilla
Has hugged and loved her
Placing her in a special
Nook carved in her heart.

Behold the awakening of all that
Could have been
If she had felt safe to
Be who she wanted to be
Explore all that life had to offer
Choose a path that fit her
Feel attraction for who she was attracted to
Love who she wanted to love

The transformation is complete
She’s 16 again
Ready to LIVE life
On her terms.

A neurospicy Pisces
Lover of olives,
Dancing, Walks
And passionate kisses.

Get ready world
With no fear
With no holding back
She has emerged. – Camilla Downs – 2023

Monday Night Poetry – Leaving the Comfort Zone

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May 22 2023

I stepped out of my comfort zone big time tonight. While Thomas was in their 6:00pm appointment, instead of sitting in the car for an hour, I drove 5 minutes to Shim’s Speakeasy.

This was my first time here, and I loved it. The atmosphere and the people were awesome. Plus!!! They have Guinness 0. Woohoo! I was only able to stay for an hour, but I plan on going next Monday, and I can stay for the full spoken poetry event, getting myself on the stage. 😱Thursday looks like fun with Old Skool Music. Yay me!! 💖💋💖

Throwback: The One Stillness

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**THROWBACK POST** 

(I think this was written in 2017 – Originally submitted to a poetry website for consideration to be published.)


(Photo taken by me Spring 2019)

The One Stillness

And she began the walk,
The walk of only she,
breathing in, knowing she was breathing in
breathing out, knowing she was breathing out.

She listened in the stillness,
the sound of
the song birds
the beeping construction equipment
the roar of an airplane overhead
the creak and pop of the plastic fence
the screech of the shiny black vulture as he took flight
the echo of a distant cough across the wetland
the jingle of her dream catcher earrings in the breeze
the whir of the traffic in the distance.

She felt the soft breeze
Tenderly caress her cheeks,
hair lifting ever so gently.

She focused her eyes on the
vibrant luscious pink flower
and found her thoughts to be,

I am the vibrant luscious pink flower
swaying in the breeze
The flower is me.

She focused her eyes on the crisp green
blades of grass hosting
plump round droplets of water,

I am the crisp green blade of grass
hosting the water droplet,
the blade of grass is me.

I am the plump round water droplet
resting on the blade of grass,
the water droplet is me.

She focused her eyes on the
majestic black vulture

I am the majestic black vulture
resting on a rock
the vulture is me.

She focused her eyes on
the tall crooked tree,
laying her hands upon the cracked bark
smoothed by the winds of time.

I am the tree standing tall and crooked
the tree is me.

And she is,
and they are,
fulfilling this Divine Life.

And she ended the walk
The walk of One,
breathing in, knowing she was breathing in
breathing out, knowing she was breathing out. – ©2017 Camilla Downs

**July 2021 Update – This poem is in its “raw” state. A polished version is included in my latest book, a free-verse poetry memoir titled, Words of Alchemy. Go here to learn more … 

Words of Alchemy

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here. 

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

A Life Changing Visit to South Lake Tahoe – James Interviews Camilla

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Several months back, I was honored to be a guest on JQM Literary Chat with James Quinlan Meservy. James and covered where my first name originated, my roots, poetic words bubbling to the surface, and a life changing visit to South Lake Tahoe. Join us …

TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF:

I’m Camilla Downs (pronounced like Pamela, but with a “C”). I was named after Camilla Sparv, a Swedish actress in the 1960’s and 70’s. I’ve been told that I’m the great great grand-daughter of a full blooded Chickasaw Indian and Irish immigrants (haven’t researched this yet, it’s on my to do list for this year).

I have lived in Reno, Nevada, USA for the past 14 years, moving here from the Seattle, Washington area in 2006. I spent my first 18 years in Jackson, Mississippi and Houma, Louisiana. I love walking. I am out for walks anywhere from three to six days a week. Nature is partly the inspiration for my writings and poetry. The other part is a desire to process my life experiences; to give them an outlet through writing.

I have been single parenting fourteen year old Thomas and eighteen year old Lillian since Thomas was 1 year old. Lillian has a chromosome deletion simply called 18p-. This means she is missing the short arm of chromosome #18. My kids and I call ourselves Team TLC to correspond with the first letters of each of our names. During 2015-2019 we were tiny home dwellers, living in a 1 bedroom, 1 bath, 810 square foot apartment. That was one heck of an adventure!

WHAT INFLUENCED YOU TO WRITE YOUR GENRE(S)?

My latest book to publish is a poetry memoir of the last 6 years of my life. It was largely inspired and influenced by Nature, and the many walks I took during the time it was written. About six years ago, I visited Fallen Leaf Lake in South Lake Tahoe, California. The beauty was quite overwhelming, bringing me to tears. As I drove home, I made several stops along Lake Tahoe, sitting to take it all in. While doing this, poetic words bubbled to the surface of my consciousness. This was the beginning of a six year journey of being inspired by nature with poetic words, then later, inspired by life events.

My first book is a memoir of my journey to acceptance of myself, and acceptance of becoming a single parent to two children, one with special needs, one a genius (who is most likely on the spectrum). The influence for this book was born of a desire to share my life with others, in the hopes of letting them know they are not alone. In addition, the feedback I received for life experiences I shared on my blog and in social media, fueled the desire to share in a published book.

The second book, for which I am simply a contributor, is my daughter’s book. I collected her writings, organized them, wrote the introduction, edited, proofed, and published the book. Her book was intentionally not professionally edited so as to share her unique view with the reading world. A photo I took of her was used for the cover of the book. It is in the fiction genre as it is a collection of her short stories and poetry from 5 years old to 15 years old. The influence for this book was a desire to help Lillian have something that showcases her unique talents and skills. She and I had talked about publishing a book ever since she was about 5 years old.

The third book, I am also simply a contributor, as it is a photography book of photos my then 8 year old son took. I organized the book, wrote the introduction, and he and I chose quotes to pair with the sections of the book. The influence for this book was a promise I made to 8 year old Thomas. Before he began the 365 photo a day project, I told him that he he followed through and finished, we would publish the photographic journey as a book.

WHO ARE YOUR FAVORITE AUTHORS?

I don’t know that I have a favorite author, book, or literary character. I love to read authors and books that enlighten me in an interesting or fun way about life, topics, events of which I am ignorant. I like authors and books that involve my emotions, books that I can’t stand to put down. The majority of what I read is nonfiction.

However, I do love reading fiction if it covers a topic I want to learn more about, or it has an inspirational message. I also enjoy fiction books that have a character solving a mystery, as long as the mystery to be solved is not someone’s murder or crime related.

Here are a some of my latest reads: On Writing by Stephen King Untamed by Glennon Doyle Aristotle & Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz Star Crossed by Barbara Dee The Girl with Seven Names by Hyeonseo Lee The Library Book by Susan Orlean

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SHARE WITH POTENTIAL READERS?

What I’d like to share are words from readers, rather than myself, from blog reviews and Amazon reviews …

A beautiful testament to the love and dedication of a mother to her children, and her personal transformation using nature as a guide and companion. I was instantly transported to zenlike mindfulness by the melodic prose in this beautiful collection. Poems like “Released” will remain with me as a reminder of the healing strength of our connection to nature. The rich imagery and natural metaphors make each piece a standalone daily meditation. – Michelle S.

I have always loved Camilla’s writing. So glad she put it in a book for me, for us, to always have on hand. Her poem form is original and real. I get release and comfort in reading the selections. Godspeed to her and thank you. – Amazon Customer

Words of Alchemy is warm and personal, like being invited to sit on the author’s couch and listen to her talk to family and friends. Intimate and loving, these poems are a celebration of family, of friends, of life, of nature, and of adaptation. – Amazon Customer

What a joy it is to read this gem of a poetry book. Full of beautiful free-verse, a memoir about friends, family, relationships and the love of the nature. This is for you if you enjoy the natural world, (as I do,) if you appreciate poetry that delves into the heart and doesn’t hold back. In many ways it is an intimate and brave expression of the author – Camilla Down’s – thoughts and feelings. – Marjorie M.

This book is full of beautiful, inspiring, thought provoking poems about love, nature, acceptance, joys, fun, mindfulness and gratitude! They really pick you up and make you consider your own life and the changes you could welcome to lead a happier, fuller life while reading about Camilla’s passion and love for nature, family, friends and all the small things that a lot of us take for granted! It’s emotive, and lovely and just a stunning read for a day when you may be feeling low! It’s a feel good collection of poems that really will brighten your day! – Lynne P.

Follow the link to read the full interview on the JQM website …

JQM LITERARY CHAT WELCOMES Camilla Downs

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here. 

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Throwback Post – Planting Seeds of Love – Free to Be You

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**THROWBACK POST**

Written some time in 2017


(Hike to Lake Tamarack – September 2020)

The poems I write are from nature and shared through my heart and fingers. They are inspired by nature photographs made by me. I sit with a photograph, ask what I am to share, touch my fingers to the keyboard, close my eyes, and let the message flow.

It is as if nothing else exists when I’m in this flow. It is almost always aligned with something I am in the midst of personally, and will usually answer or clarify an issue for me.

This poem was written the morning after I attended a local show by The Alchemist Theatre. The theme of the show was Providence. We all took white stones, were walked through a beautiful prayer/meditation at which time the name or image that appeared for us was our “name”. We then wrote this name on the white stone.

The message shared with me that night is that I am supposed to plant seeds of loving-kindness wherever I go and these poems are part of that. This served more as confirmation as I’ve known for a while I was supposed to do this, yet, was unclear on how.

LoveSeed is the name that came to me during meditation. For quite some time I’ve been dancing in and out of my own darkness and shadows. I experienced a shift that night.

This is the message I wrote to the members of Alchemist. “It is when we are in the depths of our own darkness, we can rest assured the light and solutions are simply awaiting our embrace of said darkness ….. for the light will shine, shine, shine once we patiently dance with the darkness.”

The next day I sat with this picture of trees I took in the summer of 2016 and thought, “What do you have to share?” (2020 Note: I am not sure which photo of trees to which this referred, so I’m sharing a recent photo.) This poem is nature’s message to me and anyone else to whom it speaks and one of the many love seeds I am to plant.

Free to Be You

Light and peace
await you dear one.
I know this is
your heart’s desire.

It’s there.
It never leaves you.
It cannot leave you
for it is what you are.

The light is the Source.
And you are the light.

At times you choose
to recede into the darkness,
and disconnect from the Light.

Pass through the darkness,
you must,
if you wish to
emerge into the light.
The darkness can always
be transcended.

And emerge you will.
Emerging into the light.
Merging with the light.
BEing the light.

You will know this.
You will feel it.
As the light embraces you
and becomes you,
all else will lift
and you shall be set free.

Free to be you,
free to come home
to the true you,
free to share divine love
in the way only you can share.

Come,
Be in the glory
of peace and light
for this is your inheritance.

Ever there,
Patiently waiting
for your awakening. – © Camilla Downs

This poem is published in its original, raw state. An edited version of poem appears in my recently published book, Words of Alchemy.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here. 

Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.