Poetry: Say My Name – Monday Night Poetry

July 18 2023

Monday Night Poetry was amazing last night. From the time I arrived to the time I stepped in my door at home, it was a perfect night. The entire night felt freeing. 🖤💋🖤

The theme was, “Speaking Our Names”

What I shared, written yesterday afternoon:

Say My Name

Ca-mil-la
Kamala
Camelia
Camelot
Caramello

Or as my sharecropper grandmother pronounced it, Camiller, ah Camiller.

Let me count the ways my name has been mis-pronounced.

The many times a man has asked are you sure?
After I pronounced my own name?
What the fuck? You’re asking me if I’m pronouncing my name correctly?

It was 1969 as my parents
Sat watching the Johnny Carson show.

A stunning Swedish actress, popular in the 60’s and 70’s
Was a guest.

Her name, Camilla Sparv.

My parents must have liked the name
As that’s the name they chose for me.

Hearing my name as a child, and as a teen,
Brought shame and embarrassment.
You see, it was never pronounced correctly,
Causing me to have to speak up, letting teachers, adults
Know how to pronounce it.
This brought attention to me, and I did not want attention.

Up until recently,
When I saw my name
I would only see a whisper of myself.
Not really knowing who this person was.

However, these days when I see my name.
I see all that I have accomplished
I see tenacity, strength
I see a parent who has raised two amazing & authentic humans.

I see childhood and adult trauma that is being undone
Spun into a gold thread of power
A thread I use to weave
This new life I am creating
That shines and attracts those who have
Complimentary threads.

As I got older, I grew to adore my name.
It was different, unlike anyone else’s name.
And I loved that.

With each passing year, I grow and blossom
Into this unique name.
With each passing year, I love it even more.
I love that in my desire to stand out, not conform, and be my unique, neurospicy, weird, pisces self, it is the strong and stable root that supports me and bears the fruit of these desires.

Most of my life I have wanted to fade into the crowd.

This is no longer the case.

My name tastes like honeysuckle,
Smells like magnolia
Feels like silk

I see my name as a blessing, a gift
A springboard to the chaos and magic that is ME.
Thank you to my mom and dad for giving me this name.

Camilla. It’s pronounced Camilla. Like Pamela, but with a C.

Say my name, say my name, say my name.

Camilla, Camilla, Camilla
July 2023 Camilla Downs

Throwback Post: The Gift of Communication

**THROWBACK POST**

December 2 2010:

WooHoo Y’all! The RN&R article about Turning Views Foundation and Different iz Good came out today! Kat did a great job of condensing the ton of information I spilled out to her!

https://www.newsreview.com/reno/something-to-talk-about/content?oid=1883366

By Kat Kerlin
[email protected]
This article was published on .

Lillian Darnell holds the iPhone that, though speech impaired, allows her to talk through a special app. Her mom, Camilla Downs, stands beside her.

PHOTO BY KAT KERLIN

Lillian Darnell was 3 years old in 2004 when her mother, Camilla Downs, received a phone call from her pediatrician.

“It was a phone call that landed me in a place I never thought I’d be,” says Downs.

Lillian had been born a month early, so Downs attributed the developmental delays she’d noticed to the fact that she was a preemie. But that day, she discovered Lillian had a chromosomal abnormality, so rare it didn’t really have a name: It’s just called 18p-, a deletion of the short arm of chromosome 18.

“The main way it manifests for her is communication,” says Downs. “Everything is in her mind, she just can’t articulate it.” Lillian is about 90 percent unintelligible.

Before this year, Lillian, now 9, had been carrying around a heavy, clunky “augmented communicator” called Dynavox. She actually had to pull it on a cart behind her at recess. Then Downs heard about Proloquo2Go, an iPhone app that could do the same thing, but on a smaller and, let’s face it, cooler device. She bought Lillian an iPhone and had the app installed. Lillian carries it in her purse, which has a speaker clipped to it to make her “voice” louder. There are programmable buttons on it for typical things she might say in class or to her friends, as well as a section for things she could say in emergencies. For other things she wants to say, she can type it into the keypad and press “speak.”

The whole thing cost less than $1,000. Compare that to the $5,000-$10,000 people pay for augmented communicators. However, health insurance and Medicaid will pay for those clunky, expensive devices, but not for iPhones, iPads or iPod Touches that could have apps like Proloquo2Go installed on them.

“There’s no reason these kids should have to wait to have a modern way to communicate,” says Downs.

The school district will provide an iPod Touch or an iPad to the speech impaired, but not an iPhone, which Downs wanted Lillian to have for emergencies. So she decided to start a nonprofit, Turning Views, which encompasses the Different Iz Good movement to help kids like Lillian. Key to that is “Lillian’s Voice,” the recycling program that takes used iPodTouches, iPhones and iPads and gives them to children who are speech impaired or nonverbal. She accepts “last generation” devices, meaning more recent models, as some older ones may not be able to have the app installed on it. Look for “Lillian’s Voice” drop-off boxes at New2U Computers and Mac-O-Rama. (See column note for details.) People can also donate money or gift cards from iTunes or Apple on the nonprofit’s website, www.differentizgood.org.

“People still haven’t caught on that these are more than just phone and music devices,” says Downs. “It’s not just the app itself, but the shift that has occurred in society. It’s a communication revolution, in a way, that includes the nonverbal and speech impaired in a way they never have been before.”

What does Lillian have to say about it? She punches some keys on her phone, looks up, nods her head and presses “speak”: “I like the iPhone.”

Samba Da at Reno Public Market – Live Brazilian Music

July 16 2023

Finally made it to Reno Public Market last night. This is such a cool concept! Love all the food and beverage choices. I had a blast dancing to live Brazilian music. Ran into my friend, Kathy and Roger, too. ❤️❤️❤️

The 2023 Chromosome 18 Conference Begins – The End

July 13 2023

Starfish Dinner & Dance. We love us some dancing!

July 13 2023

So much love,
So much joy,
So much good stuff.

This is Jonah. He is amazing, and I love his outfits, and I love his wonderful family. ❤️❤️❤️

Amy, Julie, and me. Our girls love one another, and I love these ladies!

Tara and Isaac. Thomas and I love you!!

And the happy winner of the book package! Thank you to the authors who contributed your books!

Swimming before leaving for our flight later today.

Thomas went with Christopher and his dad, Bill, to the Air Museum, followed by lunch while we hung out here with Liz, Charlotte, and Kelsey. We ordered pizza and had lunch by the pool.

Bill invited Thomas to come along with he and Christopher to the National Museum of the US Air Force. They had a good time. 💜🌿💜

Extra photos:

The 2023 Chromosome 18 Conference Begins – Part 5

July 12 2023

Look at this amazing book and card package in the silent auction! Thank you to the authors who contributed to help support the Chromosome 18 Registry & Research Society.

C18 Sibling Panel: All of these sibs are amazing. However, I am deeply biased towards the one on the far right. Thomas, you bless my heart beyond comprehension. You did an amazing job, articulating your points beautifully, and that’s probably the first time in history that the word innocuous was used on the sibling panel.

Thank you to everyone who came to me afterwards with such lovely words to share about Thomas, and my parenting skills. ❤️❤️❤️ Everyone very much appreciates your authenticity and transparency, Thomas. Kendall Powell is an amazing person, and absolutely shines as the sibling coordinator. Thank you for loving us, Kendall!

Getting everyone ready for group photos. 18p- over here!!! The hardest part of the conference!

And photos with the amazing Millers. Love you Matt and Julie. You two did a wonderful job hosting this year. I love me some Miller time!! ❤️❤️❤️

Self-advocates and siblings. ❤️❤️❤️

Beautiful ladies getting ready for the Starfish Dinner & Dance!

The 2023 Chromosome 18 Conference Begins – Part 4

July 11, 2023

Beautiful spot for coffee this morning. I feel like a bit of relaxing this morning.

July 11 2023

Ladies night was so much fun!!! Talking, laughing, and drinking with such beautiful people. I sat back at one point just scanning the room, looking at everyone deep in conversation, laughing, smiling, hugging; and I thought to myself, “This is incredibly beautiful.” ❤️❤️❤️

The 2023 Chromosome 18 Conference Begins – Part 2

July 9 2023

Just back from my first walk in Columbus. Stunning grounds. And it wasn’t too hot. Bonus!! Not sure these folks have experienced a tattooed woman walk-dancing around the grounds. Now they have!

Photos from today. These people are so precious and amazing.

I absolutely love the photos of the Giggling Trio – Lillian, Macy, and Lauren. They light up around each other, and it is beautiful to experience. ❤️❤️❤️

The 2023 Chromosome 18 Conference Begins – Part 1

July 8 2023

Team TLC is on board, on our way to the C18 conference in Columbus, Ohio. ❤️❤️❤️ Thomas is in front of us. By the way, Reno-Tahoe Airport is a cluster fuck right now. 😱😡😱

Beautiful Reno sunrise as we left this morning. 💛💛💛

This is Where I Went and Where You Did Not

July 8 2023

Yes!! It’s like they read my mind! I did have a boyfriend once who slammed one of my good china plates onto the table and broke it. I need to do this just to make up for that.

I sure dated some winners! He’s also the one that bit my nose, and beat my hand with my cell phone (when they were huge and clunky) when I was trying to leave, then threw it out the window! 👀👀👀

That guy was an asshole. Nearly married him. Whew!! I could use the map to explain where I went, and he didn’t. 🤣🤣🤣