(I recently changed the hosting company for this website, along with all other websites I manage. In the aftermath, my draft posts got deleted. Oh no! Fortunately, they were in the back up and could be reinstalled. However, the original draft dates were deleted. I’m taking that as a sign that it’s time to do cleanup and housekeeping. Here’s a throwback to almost a year ago!)
May 9 2019:
This is life. This is feeling all the feels. For anyone else in the midst of feeling all the feels. Sending love ….
I’m exhausted. My body aches. My back aches. My shoulders ache. My neck aches. My hips ache. I’m sad and I’ve been sobbing on and off all day. I’m deeply tired.
And, I’d just really like someone else to take care of me and everything else for a week or two …
I know that this too shall pass … However, in the midst of this crud, is definitely an unlovely place to be. Here’s to feeling all the feels … May they move on through … And, so it is … (PS … This is definitely not how I look today … I took a photo but not brave enough to post it … HA!)
**Editing to add the morning after thoughts … Thank you so much everyone for your love, hugs, and beautiful comments … You are all a blessing … I am feeling much better this morning.
Having been reminded before falling asleep to embrace what I have been resisting. (Well, that and having a lovely dream in which a lovely person held my hand, held me, touched me gently in all the right places … and other steamy, beautiful things!!) If I’m not meant to have a romantic relationship in the flesh, I can certainly do it in my dreams!
I have a mind that ruminates at times about situations … over and over and over. I forget to breathe into these situations and live through them … They seem to pile on top of me like a stack of wooden blocks … the car needs a new radiator and windshield, money owed for dental work, Lillian’s graduation tassel, diploma, and announcements that need to be ordered, the life insurance bill that is due, vitamins and oils we are out of, this body of mine needs a massage and other body work, getting Lillian’s craniosacral therapy going again as the place that took her disabled medicaid no longer offers it, getting my book finished and ready by the 1st of July, Lillian’s issues, Thomas’ issues, and I truly just need a good, long, relaxing break as I haven’t had one in 13 years …… When all of these begin to swirl and need attention at the same time …. I lose my footing in the knowing.
Thanks to your lovely attention, embracing these things rather than resisting them; and breathing into where I’m at; I feel much much better this morning and have regained my footing. Much love to all of YOU!! 💜💜💜
May 10 2019:
To follow the post I made last night …. After delicious Sumatra coffee and breakfast this morning, I went for the first swim of the season in our community pool.
I am Pisces and I’m pretty sure partially mermaid (as well as partial gypsy) so being in the water is pure heaven for me. It washes things away, it resets and recharges me, it soothes me and energizes me. Then I soaked this aching body in the hot tub for a bit, letting the jets massage my back. I floated back home and had a lovely shower. Ahhhhh … it was perfectly perfect!
Spent most of the day creating a new website that I am incredibly excited to launch! Here’s a wee hint … It has to do with books and authors. Can’t wait to share!
After dinner, I visited Mittens & Jack (two cats I care for when their human is gone) and then enjoyed a peaceful walk around the little lake.
Plus, if you read the post yesterday, I mentioned trying to get craniosacral visits going again for Lillian. I received a text from Lillian’s previous CS therapist that Lillian can come for once a month, 30 minute visits for gratis. I am so relieved as craniosacral therapy was deeply beneficial for Lillian. And a friend is going to gift us the oils we’re out of at the moment. Thank you friends and the powers that be! Hallelujah!
**Update – May 2, 2020: I remember this with love and compassion in my heart for the experiences I moved through, sat with, and let shape and empower the me of 2020. What a beautiful thing to let ourselves experience the shit of life, without trying to sweep it under the rug. For if we do that, things are sure to get messy and stinky for some time to come. Best to sit with it, clean it up, and be on the other side of it. Here’s to living life, with all the feels. xoxo
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
“Words of Alchemy” has arrived, December 2019! A free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.