Guest Speaker – UNR Family Engagement Class

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April 3 2024

I absolutely love when I get to be a guest speaker for the UNR family engagement class. It is an honor to share about my family and our journey through the system.

The students are both undergraduate and graduate, and come from a variety of backgrounds (e.g., general ed, special ed, early intervention, occupational therapy, speech language pathology, psychology). Some have a bit of experience working in special ed and with families, but the large majority are just learning about it.

Poetry – The Love of Laughter

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The Love of Laughter

We meet for coffee
Ordering our favorite, hot, steaming beverage
In a mug that fits perfectly into the hands

We begin catching up with one another
Sharing about life events
Future plans

Taking turns talking
Darting from one topic to another
Then back again to the same topic
Oblivious to the buzz and chatter
Of the cafe and people around us

We pause between words
Lift the mug to the lips
Inhale the intoxicating scent of that
Dark liquid gold
Take a sip
Feel it touch the tongue
And slide down the throat

Next the conversation takes a turn
For the lighter side
We share something that
Only the two of us would find funny
We begin to laugh together

What we laugh about
Is something that could be crushed
By the weight of sadness
Were it to be viewed in that way

Nevertheless, we laugh
This is how we have chosen to
Meet these life moments

Laughing til our faces hurt
Laughing til we can no longer form words
Laughing til we can’t breathe
Laughing til our stomach muscles contract with pain
Laughing til the laughter spreads to the people next to us
Laughing til the laughter
Sprouts wings
Fluttering down the lane
Infecting all in its path
Taking to the skies
Bringing laughter to the clouds
The sun, the stars, the moon

When the wave of laughter subsides
We take a deep breath,
sip our coffee
And think how good this felt

We open our minds
And see into one another’s soul
With this shared experience

Our sense of humor is our virtue
There is nothing that compares
to this type of joy shared together.

Camilla Downs, 2024

Poetry: Unfinished Poem

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**THROWBACK POETRY**

August 2023

Unfinished Poem

White puffy clouds in the sky
You know how I feel
Bright blue sky
You know how I feel

The first time we met
I could feel him in my bones
Heart beating faster, entire body lit up,
Lightheaded
Sizzling, tingling,
thick clouds of sweet, sticky nectar invading my brain
Drunk on him, I was

I’d lose all capacity
To think and speak coherently

We began texting
It felt as if we gave one another
Permission to go deeper

Holding hands in the darkness
We were safe from the world spinning around us

Sharing a little more with each message sent
And with each of those messages
The fondness grew stronger
I felt safe with him

A light breeze blowing through my hair
You know how I feel
The cool water caressing my body
You know how I feel

His uniqueness
authenticity
beauty
willingness to share his truths with me
His enthusiasm about getting to know me
Filled me with excitement, anticipation

The first time we kissed
Warm, tender, sweet
Delicious

The messages getting hotter
The fondness growing stronger
The hugs shared drenched me
With a feeling of being home

Sitting under a shade tree
You know how I feel
The touch of the cool, soft grass
You know how I feel

That time he touched my inner thigh
Telling me he loved my legs
Igniting the desire even more

I thought this was mutual
He wanting to know more about me, my life
Me wanting to know more about him, his life

Then he turned away,
stopped sharing, stopped reaching out, something had shifted
My neurospicy brain and tender heart
Wanted to make sense of it

Warm sand between my toes
You know how I feel
The scent of honeysuckle
You know how I feel

One minute into me, the next not
This continued for a while
Until I had to turn away
As the Mystery of this Love
Was tormenting me
My fondness, my desire for him
Was not where he could be

I had to leave us Unfinished
Unfinished as is the poem
He wrote to me
That lives in the messages on my phone

Two unfinished poems
That came together for a
Brief moment in time

The sun shining through my window
You know how I feel
The full moon in the deep black sky
You know how I feel

A brief moment in time
To experience an intense, sizzling
Safe, bright connection
The bits of our lost souls coming together
For a sweet, slippery dance to the tune of our poetry.

Leave out: This experience,
these poems,
The music he shared with me,
him
I treasure.

And That’s where this poem must end.

Unfinished
Yet, complete.

Camilla Downs, 2023