August 16 2023
Yep. Grocery checker, bookkeeper, receptionist, paralegal, social media consultant, Reiki master, substitute teacher, newspaper delivery, pet sitter, shared living provider, project manager, writer, poet, author. Who knows what’s next? I’m hoping to add dancer at some point. Working on it.
August 15 2023
One of my fellow Monday Night Poetry regulars wrote a poem using song lyrics. I was inspired to do the same and she encourage me to give it a go.
I’ll Stop the World and Melt With You
Tell me why are we so blind to see that the ones we hurt are you and me?
It swings,
it jives,
it shakes all over like a jelly fish,
I kinda like it,
crazy little thing called love.
Remember the first time that your shadow crossed my door?
Star of my dreams,
the most beautiful thing,
wild flower
My heart is drenched in wine,
but you’ll be on my mind forever
I heard you’re coming from a complicated place at best,
I know a cure,
put the pedal to the metal,
lay it all to rest
It takes two to make the thing go right
It takes two to make it outta sight
And so we cruise baby,
just you and me
A Hand on the wheel now and the other on your knee
To be with you is my favorite thing,
I can’t wait ’til I see you again
Be my mirror,
reflect what I am,
Lips like sugar,
sugar kisses
Oh,
babe,
I wanna taste your lips,
I wanna be your fantasy
Walk this way,
Talk this way,
Just give me a kiss
I wanna kiss you all over
The first time that you touched me,
blessed be the mystery of love
Keep on whispering in my ear,
that’s what I like about you
It’s easy as one, two, three
Take me in your arms and rock me
Because I’ve got a chaise longue in my dressing room,
and a pack of warm beer that we can consume
I’ve got two tickets in my pocket,
now baby,
we’re gonna disappear
Raise Your Glass if you are wrong in all the right ways
We will never be,
never be anything but loud and nitty gritty, dirty little freaks
We never, ever do nothin’ nice and easy,
We always do it nice and rough
You’ve got a cute way of talking,
I’m in a spin you know,
You make me feel like dancing
Ooh, there ain’t no other way,
baby,
I was born this way
My feet want move so get out my way
I want to do it ’til the sun comes up
Prancing like a cat on a hot tin shack, come on and shake it, fire
Pumpin up the volume,
breakin down the beat
I want to go where the people dance,
I want some action,
I want to live
Watch me dance,
dance the night away
Shame shame shame on you if you can’t dance too.
I’m the hoochie coochie man,
Everybody knows I’m here,
Mississippi Queen,
she taught me everything,
way down around Vicksburg,
around Louisiana way
I love a rainy night,
I love to hear the thunder,
watch the lightning as it lights up the sky
We can go dancing,
we can go walking,
as long as we’re together
time seems to go by so fast,
in the twinkling of an eye.
Let’s enjoy it while we can.
Put your records on,
tell me your favorite song
You’re emotionally complex
Staring at the blank page before you,
open up the dirty window
Let the sunshine in
There you go again,
you’re barefoot on the roof,
to know her was to say,
she blew me away
Just hold on loosely,
but don’t let go
I wanna rock your gypsy soul,
then magnificently we will float into the mystic.
The Double Dutch Bus is on the street,
I already got a hole in my socks
I saw a werewolf drinkin’ a Pina colada at Trader Vic’s and his hair was perfect
You’re a shining star,
no matter who you are,
shining bright to see,
what you could truly be
People say I’m crazy,
doin’ what I’m doin’,
I just had to let it go.
These are the good times
And I know it’s gonna be a lovely day
It’s a new dawn,
It’s a new day,
It’s a new life for me,
yeah,
And I’m feeling good.
2023 – CamillaDowns.com
August 13 2023
Horrible photo, but I got ‘em. Thomas got home last night about 11:00. My mama heart is drenched in joy and happiness that they got to have this experience. Here’s to you, Thomas. A beautiful, talented, creative, sweet, kind human. ❤️❤️❤️
August 18 2023
Thomas was off to Senior Sunrise this morning. First day of last year of high school, first day of second year of college. Last end of summer at home with me. This is the school year of “lasts”, leading to a lifetime of firsts for this beautiful, amazing person.
I’ve tried to enjoy all the moments with you, Thomas. I always see people saying that “it went so fast.” That was not my experience. I can’t explain why, but it doesn’t feel like your life from birth to now went fast. I hope it’s because I slowed down and tried my best to be mindful and be in the present moment during our time together.
I know this for sure. You have been the most amazing blessing to me. You literally changed my life, my world view, my opinions, shifting the lens through which I view others and life events. My love for you cannot be described using mere words. It’s the feeling one has when witnessing the miracles in life. Stunning sunsets, sunrises, the birth of a child, the quiet of the snow, the sound of the ocean, the twinkling of the stars, the loving touch of another.
I had only intended to post Thomas’s photo with a brief message. But there’s no stopping the words when they want to flow. Hope everyone has a lovely day, enjoying all the moments.
August 12 2023
Lillian and I did it! We successfully navigated one night, at home alone for Lillian! I’m thrilled for us! Thank you to Matt and Julie Miller for the inspiration and the ideas. This moves us one step closer to me getting a longer vacation. Next up, we will try 2 or 3 days, then a week, and the sky’s the limit after that. (First time since about 2008!!)
Here are all of the South Lake Tahoe photos in one post. I stayed for one night, on the beach, with an amazing view. In my opinion it was THE BEST lake view room on the property. Don’t know how that happened. But, hell yes! I mostly just relaxed and enjoyed the view. I met up with my South Lake Tahoe friends for live music on the beach at the property next door to where I was staying. It was an absolutely beautiful night. The next morning I went to the beach early before everyone started arriving. It was perfect! And there was a bear sighting. But it was just out of my view.
For those that don’t know Nevada and Lake Tahoe. This was about an hour drive for me. We can get to North Lake Tahoe in about 30 or 40 minutes. South Lake Tahoe is about double that.
August 9 2023
Who is that wearing something other than black?
I’m stepping out in color …. Slowly. 🤣 I’m also losing weight so I can’t buy too much just yet. I don’t think I’ve worn these colors since I was a teen. 😆 I plan on getting bolder and brighter as I go.
Thank you lovely therapist for helping me get past that stuck place in my brain. 💥💥💥
August 9 2023
I’ve had a lousy couple of days. This just lifted my spirits. Thomas has received their first scholarship! Go Thomas Go!! I’m so proud of you, I feel I could burst.
August 8 2023
@mondaynightpoetrynv last night was also a fundraiser for @burnergeargiveback.
Such a great idea. Collecting used Burner camping gear to give to homeless people. It typically ends up in the trash. People come from around the world to attend Burning Man. Many buying gear just for this event, then leaving it behind when it’s over.
I read 2 poems. Remember the Little Things and Moon Dance
Moon Dance
Do you ever feel like running barefoot and free and howling with the moon? xoxo
The intent is to release the discomfort.
They are ready to release it and be free.
Ready to live this life from love instead of fear.
Ready to be free. Free to follow the heart.
Free to live in peace and bliss.
Free to trust themselves.
Free to live from the true Self.
Free to listen.
Free to jump. Free to leap when it speaks to them.
Free to write what they’re supposed to write.
Free to dance.
Free to go barefoot in the moonlight.
Free to leave footprints in the sand of life’s beach
Free to experience fully each moment of life with no thoughts of what just happened, what happened yesterday; or thoughts of what comes next.
Free to BE committed to that which they are immersed in the moment.
Free to sway with the wind.
Free to kiss and hug a tree.
Free to run their fingers along the tip tops of the grass.
Free to take a nap in the sand with toes wiggling and giggling as each piece of sand makes its way through the cracks and crevices of their …… toes.
Free to smile at all whose eyes theirs meet.
Free to hug freely and receive hugs freely.
Free to let another soul know how much they care for them. Free to receive unconditional love. Free to give unconditional love. Free to BE unconditional love.
Free to write for hours on end.
Free to let music surround the body and caress it with each note as it climbs to the heavens to caress the cosmos.
Free to love all beings and all animals. Free to love the grass, the bushes, the trees, the dirt, the rocks, the sand, the sky, the clouds, the soil, the water, the hills, the mountains, the snow, the wind, the rain, the thunder, the lightening.
Free to scream from the bowels of their soul … F R E E D O M
They wish to be contained no longer. They are compelled to break free of this shell, this shield placed around them ages and moons ago. Like the baby chick breaking free from its shell, like the butterfly breaking free from its cocoon … with intense determination they chip away at the shellshield.
Like a prisoner who has no tools with which to escape, they use bare hands and nails to scratch and tear free from this shellshield.
With its hundreds of gnarly scars, rough and broken with welts of pain healed over. The time has come to be released. The time has to come to have more than a peephole of an opening.
Break the fuck free, saunter out, and howl with the moon. And, BE FREE …. Hallelujah!
2023 CamillaDowns.com
Remember the Little Things
Feeling the cool water glide across your skin while swimming
The intoxicating scent of roses, lilacs, magnolia, Lillies
That first step into the warm sunshine
Picking dandelions and making a wish
That first gulp of a cool glass of water
Touching another and being touched
That first kiss with someone special
Walking barefoot through soft grass
That first bite into a ripe, juicy plum
Filling our belly with favorite foods
Fluffy towels just out of the dryer
Feeling the sunlight on your skin
Taking a nap under a shade tree
Listening to your favorite music
The feel of the sun after a swim
Sunshine through the window
Hot soup on a cold winter day
The smell of freshly cut grass
The sparkle of fresh snow
Sitting around a campfire
That first sip of coffee
Walking on the beach
A text from a friend
Deep belly laughter
The sound of waves
Fresh, clean sheets
Snuggles with pets
White puffy clouds
The smell of books
Watching a sunset
The smell of rain
Rainbows
July 2023 CamillaDowns.com
Photos by @sidewayseightprojects
July 30 2023
I feel these clouds in my heart. (earlier today)
July 31 2023
Absolutely stunning sky last night.
August 1 2023
This morning’s walk.
August 2 2023
More cool clouds.
August 5 2023
I have reserved a lake view room for myself in South Lake Tahoe for one night next week. Fear and worry nearly kept me from doing it. In fact, I lost the room I was going to reserve because I kept putting it off.
I will spend a morning at Nevada Beach, go to a live music at the beach event, and enjoy my day and night to myself. I’ll be reaching out to a few helpers to text with Lillian, making sure she’s okay. Thanks again to Matt and Julie Miller for sharing your method for making vacations without our self-advocates work for them and us. I’m a bit worried, but I will work on that between now and when I leave. 🖤💋🖤 (Photo of Lake Tahoe, taken by me in 2018 or 2019)
August 5 2023
With gratitude. I appreciate you. Thank you for seeing me. Thank you for supporting me, and sticking around while I experience all facets of myself. 🖤💋🖤
