Walk With Me – Journey to the Center of My Soul

Recently, I had the experience of one of my 40 minute meditation sessions feeling like it was only 5 minutes. I am always in awe when that happens. I find it incredibly magical … xoxo

Afterwards I wrote this; which will be the opening for my next book (Go here for information about my first book). Sharing this sneak peak with all of you … It’s still in rough draft status; yet, I was moved to share. Perhaps someone needs to see a word or two from this …

Walk with Me
Journey to the Center of My Soul

I had a choice to make.

I could choose not to even go near or open the door that would lead to the awakening of my true self. I could continue living life as I had been, seemingly happy and seemingly enjoying life.

Or I could choose to open that golden, larger than life door. The magical door that would lead the way to truly living life. A life of feeling all there is to feel – every single bit of it. A life of strapping into the gigantic see-saw of this path and riding my way through pain, despair, sadness, unhappiness, joy, peace, love, and bliss.

I did it. And I did it ever so gently. There was no transcendental moment with angels singing and everyone welcoming me. Well, maybe not in this dimension anyway.

I made the choice of the magical, golden door. So began the journey to the Center of my Soul.

Little did I know that once I entered through the door’s archway, and closed it behind me; that there would be no turning back. No matter how many times and how deeply I thought I wanted to turn back during this journey; I could not un-know what I was beginning to Know.

I strolled through that doorway thinking it would be easy and that I could control this the way I thought I controlled the rest of my life. Eventually, I learned that life is not something to be controlled. Living life is to let go and let it happen. Let go; yet take action when intuitively and heart inspired. Take action minus the need for controlling and minus attachment to the outcome.

This has been, and continues to be, a journey of opening my heart. A heart that closed as a very young child; perhaps even a heart that had been closed for many lifetimes. Every book I’ve read, movie I’ve watched, date day taken with my kids, every healer that I’ve worked with, and every walk taken has been in perfect timing to lead me to the next step of opening my heart.

I ultimately arrived at the place of knowing I was to love whatever comes into my experience. I haven’t always known what that meant. I thought I did. I did not understand how one is to “love” whatever is happening, or whatever one is feeling.

I now get that life is not here to fulfill me. I am here to fulfill life. There are absolutely days when I forget all of this. I’m still traveling this path. I fall back into old habits. Yet, the more I remember to love whatever is happening, the more my heart opens and the more I am able to share the One Love with all.

This also entailed letting go of my need to be bothered and to be upset by others and situations. Letting it go, by loving it as it came into my experience. This meant loving the un-lovely feelings that bubble forth during these times.

Loving the feelings absolutely does not mean to pour positivity over them and squish them back down to the place from which they came forth. It means simply, telling yourself over and over, “I love you”, to your own heart. And it means letting yourself physically feel these un-lovely feelings. It is truly amazing and life shifting to do this for oneself.

As a young girl my favorite and most loved fairy tale was the one where the down trodden princess was finally seen and loved for who she is by a dashing prince. And then this dashing prince whisks her away to her hearts delight wherein she lives life the way she chooses, forever in joy and peace and fun. I carried this with me into adulthood.

Now as I look back on this, I can see I was waiting for life to fulfill me. I see I was waiting for some “other” to see me, love me, tell me I am worthy, tell me they believe in me, and tell me they are sorry for wrongs done to me. And then for this other to place me in the perfect situation wherein I could control life and have experiences that would not take me out of my comfort zone.

Traveling this path of opening my heart, I have learned that we all need these words spoken to us by those closest to us and those not close to us alike. Yet, as importantly, we also need to speak these words to our self. Especially when we did not hear them as a child; or heard them very little during our young and tender years.

And, most especially when we are having unlovely experiences and feelings. That’s when we need it most. The more we do this for our self, the more our heart opens. And, the more our heart opens the more we come to realize that life’s journey is not about life fulfilling us. It is about us fulfilling life and sharing love in the way we came forth to share.

I invite you to walk with me through these pages. Walking, being in nature, and writing have been the magical ingredients for alchemizing experiences as I travel this path. Let’s go.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

The Path of the Heart Will Emerge – The Urban Howl

June 2 2018:

Much gratitude to The Urban Howl for publishing another of my writings …

“Know this.
When riddled with questions,
plagued by confusion,
and held hostage by anxiety,
this is not of the heart.

Distractions, these are,
to cover the message
of the heart,
to prevent one
following the
path of the heart.”

Let Go — The Path Of The Heart Will Emerge

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:

Poetry and Photography: Love Floats

Love Floats Heart Shaped Leaf November 2017

Love floats
On the wind.
Love brushes
By when one
Least expects it.

Divine love
Surrounds all.
Divine love
Is within all.
All is Divine Love.

At times it
May feel as
If love landed
With thorns that
Penetrate deep
And painfully.

Bring oneself
Into the stillness
One must.
So as to separate
From the pain.

The stillness.
The silence.
Is the doorway
To knowing the
Pain as the portal.

The portal to
freedom of
experiencing
And knowing the
One love.

Love,
The Leaf
xoxoxo
– 2017 Lessons from Nature

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is arriving November 2017. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

Poetry and Photography: Whisperings of the Heart

Pink Flowers Whisperings of the Heart October 2017

The heart whispers secrets
Try not to hear it you do.

Continuing to be in this life’s game
Following the rules, filling out the papers,
conforming to the this-is-the-way-it’s-done norms.
Too busy for interruption
to hear the gentle whisperings of the heart.

Yet, the whisperings never quiet fully.
They are there.
The whisperings are ever delivered
with love and gentleness.

The whisperings of the heart judge not.
The whisperings of the heart
are patient and steady.

Ever so gently the whisperings continue
to impart the truth of one’s soul.

At times the whisperings grow louder
At times they are heard with deeper clarity.

In youth the whisperings were strong
and vibrant with a deep knowing.

As the years passed the whisperings
were quieted by the outside world.

As the seconds pass
as the minutes pass
as the hours pass
as the days pass
as the months pass
as the years pass
as the decades pass

Ever faithful and resilient
the whisperings settle into the
unconditional love of ones heart.

Awaiting the precious time
to once again whisper the
knowings of ones soul.

That time does indeed arrive.
Uninvited, invited,
unexpected, expected.
With struggle, with joy
With peace, with pain.
Yet, it does arrive.

The veil of illusion
begins to lift.
The whisperings of the heart
awaken to the light allowed
to penetrate.

Begin to listen, one does.
Listen with clarity.
Listen with knowing.
Listen with deep understanding.
Begin to take action, one does.

Yet, many times still ignoring
the whisperings of the heart.
The pull of the way life is
supposed to BE lived is strong.

It arrives.
It brings enlightenment.
The day of realizing the
whisperings of heart
bears the key
to one’s freedom to live
and serve as one has always known
one was meant to BE.

Free to sing the song
of one’s soul.
Free to step out of the
board game of conformity
Free to shine the Pure Light
the whisperings of the heart
have always shone from within.

Free to share Divine
Unconditinal love
to all beings.
Free to listen and live
the whisperings of the heart.

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is arriving November 2017. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 11 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

Poetry: Free to Be You

I was recently led to a wonderful community of poets and am blessed that one of my poems was featured last month. I am deeply grateful to have found a loving community with which to share my nature inspired poetry.

Thank you to Thomas for taking this picture of me; which I feel exudes freedom …

Damonte Ranch Walk 9.13.16 #5

Although I am including the post in it’s entirety here, please take a moment to visit the original post on “Journey of the Heart – Women’s Spiritual Poetry” by going here …

http://womenspiritualpoetry.blogspot.com/2017/02/free-to-be-you-by-camilla-downs.html

I feel as if the poems I write are from nature and shared through my heart and fingers…

My poems are inspired by nature photographs made by me. I sit with a photograph, ask what I am to share, touch my fingers to the keyboard, close my eyes, and let the message flow. It is as if nothing else exists when I’m in this flow. It is almost always aligned with something I am in the midst of personally, and will usually answer or clarify an issue for me.

This poem was written the morning after I attended a local show by The Alchemist Theatre. The theme of the show was Providence. We all took white stones, were walked through a beautiful prayer/meditation at which time the name or image that appeared for us was our “name”. We then wrote this name on the white stone.

The message shared with me that night is that I am supposed to plant seeds of loving-kindness wherever I go and these poems are part of that. This served more as confirmation as I’ve known for a while I was supposed to do this, yet, was unclear on how.

“LoveSeed” is the name that came to me during meditation. For quite some time I’ve been dancing in and out of my own darkness and shadows. I experienced a shift that night. This is the message I wrote to the members of Alchemist.

“It is when we are in the depths of our own darkness, we can rest assured the light and solutions are simply awaiting our embrace of said darkness, for the light will shine, shine, shine once we patiently dance with the darkness.”

The next day I sat with this picture of trees which I took in the summer of 2016 and thought, “What do you have to share?” This poem is nature’s message to me and anyone else to whom it speaks and one of the many love seeds I am to plant.

Between Trees San Antonio July 2016

Free to Be You
by Camilla Downs

Light and peace
await you dear one.
I know this is
your heart’s desire.

It’s there.
It never leaves you.
It cannot leave you
for it is what you are.

The light is the Source.
And you are the light.

At times you choose
to recede into the darkness,
and disconnect from the Light.

Pass through the darkness,
you must,
if you wish to
emerge into the light.
The darkness can always
be transcended.

And emerge you will.
Emerging into the light.
Merging with the light.

BEing the light.
You will know this.
You will feel it.
As the light embraces you
and becomes you,
all else will lift
and you shall be set free.

Free to be you,
free to come home
to the true you,
free to share divine love
in the way only you can share.

Come,
Be in the glory
of peace and light
for this is your inheritance.

Ever there,
Patiently waiting
for your awakening.

My poems and nature photographs will soon be available as gift post cards and published in a book tentatively titled, Lessons from Nature. If you would like to be notified when these are available, please comment here or send an email to CamillaDowns @ gmail . com …. Thank you for your support!

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

Surrender to the Moment

“Always say ‘yes’ to the present moment… Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life – and see how life starts suddenly working for you rather than against you.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Thomas at Lake April 2016

One lesson I continue to get the opportunity to master is that of surrendering to the moment, to life circumstances. When I continue to say “no” to what’s happening and not want to be where I am or experiencing what I’m experiencing, it brings on the stress, the impatience, and un-lovely thoughts.

When I embrace where I am, I feel spaciousness and deep peace. By surrendering I do not mean resigning to the story through which I interpret the situation and the “why is this happening to me”.

I am extremely blessed and grateful to have learned the skills to shift this deep-seated mental habit. Skills such as mindfulness and emotional connection. By no means do I have this perfected, yet it gets easier and easier not to label situations as good or bad.

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” ~Buddha

For anyone who needs this …. I send you much love and encouragement as you find the way to your own deep peace …

Let me know how I can help. There are many mindfulness and emotional connection articles on my blog with specific steps I have used. If you’d like to schedule a “Coffee Chat Connection” or “Walk With Me”, go here. xoxo

Camilla at Damonte Ranch Trail Fall 2015

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Did you know I wrote a book? It’s titled “D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance” and you can read more about it here.

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