Writing to Survive Oppression

Writing poetry gives women a way to question, to protest, to rebel when we are silenced and when we experience oppression in the forms of patriarchy, misogyny, and sexism. The Poet X is a form of social justice education. It is the story of a teen girl, Xiomara, coming of age amongst oppression by her mom, the Church, and society. This story brings awareness and examines these issues. It not only does that, the story presents a healthy, therapeutic way to protest and question the oppression, illuminating a path beyond the oppression. The author, Elizabeth Acevedo, has compared Xiomara to Medusa. “The mythological being, Medusa, is punished for what was done to her. This is the story of many women, particularly women of color, whose agency of their body, their ability to push back against power, often has backlash. Medusa was a victim” (Acevedo, Media Interview, 2024).

Although I’m not a brown skinned girl, nor Catholic, I absolutely do relate to the main character’s writing of poetry and discovery of the power of words and spoken word poetry. I also relate to being sexualized. The book is especially powerful when paired with Audre Lorde’s 1985 Poetry is Not a Luxury essay. These two together make me want to crawl into the ink of these words and explore every molecule, down to their nothingness and back again.

Xiomara’s story begins with writing poetry in her private notebook. She experiences oppression by the way she is restricted in her self-development and self-determination, delimiting the person she can imagine becoming, and limiting the power to act in support of her rights. Xiomara uses poetry as a way to analyze her life. We follow her on this journey of probing her life through poetry as it grows into a powerful force to conquer fears, and lift her smothering silence. The oppression Xiomara experiences is pervasive and cumulative as it’s institutionalized due to being grounded in her familial history and through social custom.

Her story is one of the power of writing about life experiences privately. Then discovering along the way that when she shares her poetry with a trusted teacher, and then publicly through spoken word poetry, the path beyond the oppression is illuminated. As Audre Lorde writes in the essay, Poetry is Not a Luxury, “For each of us women, there is a dark place within where hidden and growing our true spirit rises. Beautiful and tough as chestnut stanchions against our nightmare of weakness and of impotence” (Lorde 1985).

Lorde further writes, “Within these deep places, each one of us holds an incredible reserve of creativity and power, of unexamined and unrecorded emotion and feeling.” (Lorde 1985) We get to experience this with Xiomara as she experiences it. This is also what I experienced in writing, reaching into the deepest, darkest places of my suffering, combining it with creativity, and allowing it to pour from me into poetry, allowing my power the space to breathe and grow. Lorde writes that poetry is the skeleton architecture of our lives (Lorde 1985). We see this process come together in an emotional and powerful way for Xiomara. We follow her journey from secretly writing about how powerless and silenced she feels to a place of being her more authentic self in public, powerfully and publicly sharing her poetry at spoken word events.

The first poem the reader experiences is one in which Xiomara is sexualized by the neighborhood boys. “Aye, Xiomara, you need to start wearing dresses like that! Shit, you’d be wifed up before going back to school.” (Poet X 4) Xiomara then writes about how the boys in high school sexualize her, and the girls stereotype her. We get our first taste of Xiomara protesting the way she is viewed. “Which is why I learned to shrug when my name was replaced with insults. I’ve forced my skin just as thick as I am” (Poet X 5). She writes about these oversimplified generalizations throughout the book. “She knew since she was little, the world would not sing her triumphs, but she took all of the stereotypes and put them in a chokehold until they breathed out the truth ….. she should be remembered as always working to become the warrior she wanted to be” (Poet X 126).

In Mira, Muchacha, Xiomara gives us our first glimpse about her relationship with her mom; which is one of control and bullying. “ … she better not hear about me hanging out like a wet shirt on a clothesline just waiting to be worn or she would go ahead and be the one to wring my neck” (Poet X 6). Xiomara ends this poem letting us know how she feels silenced. “Sometimes I want to tell her, the only person in this house who isn’t heard is me” (Poet X 6). Throughout the book, Xiomara shares about the unhealthy relationship with her mom.

I don’t feel Xiomara’s mom is consciously aware that she’s viewing her daughter through the lens of stereotypes, nor that she is being oppressive. Nevertheless, that is what Xiomara is experiencing. Xiomara writes about how her mom guilts her to get her to do what she wants, and how she feels she is being silenced by the Church. “Mama elbows me sharply and I can feel her eyes like bright lamp posts shining on my face … she has a way of guilting me compliant … what’s the point of God giving me life if I can’t live it as my own … why does listening to his commandments mean I need to shut down my own voice” (Poet X 56 and 57)?

Xiomara experiences the power hierarchy built into oppression. As a female she is part of a social group that has a lower hierarchy. The men are considered the dominant group, holding power and authority to control, being seen as superior. She is not seen as an individual, rather as part of a social group. Xiomara writes of the power dynamic, the patriarchy, and the sexism of the Church. The Church treats girls differently, they are seen as a means to procreate. “I began to really see the way that church treats a girl like me differently. Sometimes it feels all I’m worth is under my skirt and not between my ears” (Poet X 14).

Furthering the discussion of power hierarchy and sexism, Around and Around We Go” is about what Aman was not allowed to do because of his gender, what Father Sean is allowed to do because of his gender, and what Xiomara is allowed to do, and not allowed to do, because of her gender. When Xiomara thinks, “all the things we could be if we were never told our bodies were not built for them” (Poet X 187), she’s thinking about her body and how her parents and her religion have told her what she can and shouldn’t be doing with her body.

Xiomara is made to feel shame about her body, by the way classmates and adults apply stereotypes to her. Those same stereotypes are applied to her twin, having to do with a male body, he’s not expected to use his body for helping with chores. Aman was not allowed to pursue a sport he loves because his father views it as “soft”. Father Sean was able to use his body to fight, getting out of tough situations. Xiomara is told she cannot use her body to fight, or that she shouldn’t. Xiomara is told she cannot have a boyfriend or romantic relationship until she is married, because of her body, because she is female.

“For within structures defined by …. linear power, by institutional dehumanization, our feelings were not meant to survive. …… feelings were meant to kneel to thought as we were meant to kneel to men” (Lorde 1985). The poem, After, speaks to this powerful claim by Lorde. Xiomara writes about how unwanted attention from boys and men never stops; and how she uses writing about it to release the pain this creates within her. “ … when boys — and sometimes grown-ass men — talk to me however they want, they think they can grab themselves or rub against me or make all kinds of offers …. To grab my notebook and write, and write, and write all the things I wish I could have said. Make poems from the sharp feelings inside, that feel like they could carve me wide open … It simply never stops” (Poet X 52 and 53).

Her mom seems to have an unrealistic and unreasonable fear that if Xiomara does not follow the path that her mom dictates, the mom’s world and reality will collapse. Any other ways Xiomara chooses to use her body are unacceptable to her mother. On a deeper level I feel this poem, as well as many of the other poems, touches on the belief that some parents hold. The belief that their children are their “property” to control, that they get to mold them as they see fit; the child’s talents, wants, desires, and critical thinking be damned.

Through socialization Xiomara has appropriated and internalized some of these social norms and beliefs, including oppressive stereotypes and beliefs. This causes her to have feelings of powerlessness. Xiomara writes how she feels like a burden to her parents as she is not being who they want her to be. She feels ungrateful to be a burden and to resent her own birth. “Their gazes and words are heavy with all the things they want you to be” (Poet X 21).

In the poem Ms Galiano we are introduced to the teacher who supports and encourages Xiomara to write poetry. Ms. Galiano grows into a trusted adult, encouraging Xiomara to join and share her poetry in the school’s poetry club. “ … I have a feeling Ms. Galiano actually wants to know my answer” (Poet X 37 and 38). Their relationship, and the blossoming of it, seems to embody Audre Lorde’s claim of, “ .. and the black mothers in each of us – the poet-whispers in our dreams, I feel therefore I can be free. Poetry coins the language to express and charter this revolutionary awareness and demand the implementation of that freedom” (Lorde 1985). Xiomara uses poetry to coin the language to create awareness of her experiences, thereby eventually freeing herself.

In the poem, Rough Draft of Assignment 1 – Write about the most impactful day of your life., we see how Xiomara writes how she really feels, with the next poem, Final Draft of Assignment 1 (What I actually turn in), showing the reader that Xiomara has not yet realized the power of being vulnerable and the freedom that follows when we share our true feelings publicly.

Xiomara writes about how writing allows her to process life and her feelings, to keep her from hurting. “Sometimes it seems like writing is the only way I keep from hurting” (Poet X 41). This poem illustrates Lorde’s claim that poetry is the revelation or distillation of experience, not the sterile world play that, too often, the white fathers distorted the word poetry to mean — in order to cover their desperate wish for imagination without insight” (Lorde 1985). I have never been moved by sterile unperceptive poetry that doesn’t speak to experience. The very reason I began writing poetry was to process the suffering and struggles I experienced. Just like Xiomara, I wrote to get the hurt out of me.

In the poem, After the Buzz Dies Down, we read about the first spark of Xiomara wanting to share her poetry publicly. She’s excited about the thought of joining the school’s poetry club, but it happens the same afternoon as the confirmation class that her mom is forcing her to attend. “Something in my chest flutters like a bird whose wings are being gripped still by the firmest fingers” (Poet X 68). Audre Lorde claims, “In the forefront of our move toward change, there is only our poetry to hint at possibility made real. Our poems formulate the implications of ourselves, what we feel within and dare make real, our fears, our hopes, our most cherished terrors” (Lorde 1985).

The door has opened for Xiomara to step into her authentic self, realizing the power she can take back by sharing her poetry publicly. She’s not quite there yet, but the door is ajar, and there’s no closing it now. The door continues to open when Ms. Galiano shows a video of spoken word poetry being performed. Xiomara feels heard and feels like she’s been given a gift. “ …. But I don’t feel so different when I listen to her. I feel heard. But it felt more like a gift” (Poet X 76).

Xiomara finally takes her first step through the door of sharing her poetry publicly. First, with the boy she likes, Aman. Xiomara gets a taste of the freedom and power that sharing her poetry publicly will give to her. As Lorde writes, poetry is illumination (Lorde 1985). The door is open and the path has the first glimmer of illumination for Xiomara. She hovers in this place, securing her footing, sharing poetry with Aman, and allowing the power to grow.

Following continued frustration and powerlessness having to do with her mom, Xiomara takes a second step through the doorway of sharing her poetry publicly. She attends her first poetry club meeting. “I can’t remember the last time people were silent while I spoke, actually listening. My little words feel important, for just a moment. This is a feeling I could get addicted to” (Poet X 259). She further writes, “But it feels like an adult has finally really heard me” (Poet X 260). Xiomara is learning to “bear the intimacy of scrutiny, and to flourish within it” (Lorde 1985). Her fear of sharing, of being vulnerable is beginning to lose its control over her. Without her mom’s permission, she continues to skip confirmation class and attend poetry club.

Xiomara fully steps through the door, attending her first open mic event. “That’s when I know, I can’t wait to do this again” (Poet X 280). Xiomara has gotten a taste of the freedom and power that sharing her poetry brings into her life. She writes, “ … the more I bruise the page the quicker something inside me heals” (Poet X 283).

With the encouragement of Ms. Galiano, Xiomara claims her self-development, her self-determination, and the person she imagines herself to be. No longer allowing herself to be confined by and subjected to the oppression of others. “Ms. Galiano tells me I’m really blossoming. And I think about what it means to be a closed bud, to become open. And I know that I’m ready to slam. That my poetry has become something I’m proud of. The way the words say what I mean, how they twist and turn language, how they connect with people. They build community” (Poet X 287). Xiomara has fully embodied Lorde’s claim that, “For women, then, poetry is not a luxury. It is a vital necessity of our existence. It forms the quality of light within which we predicate our hopes and dreams toward survival and change, first made into language, then into idea, then into more tangible action” (Lorde 1985).

During a devastating scene where Xiomara’s mom discovers her poetry notebook, and burns it in front of her, Xiomara roars, “Burn it! Burn it. This is where the poems are, I say, thumping a fist against my chest. Will you burn me? Will you burn me, too? You would burn me, wouldn’t you, if you could” (Poet X 308)? I cannot help but think of all the women jailed, burned at the stake, and murdered for simply standing up to oppression.

With the support of Ms. Galiano and assistance from Father Sean, Xiomara and her mom are able to begin to mend their relationship. Xiomara’s mom is confronted with the toxicity of her oppressiveness towards her daughter. As Xiomara prepares for her first slam event, Ms. Galiano tells her, “ … words give people permission to be their fullest self. And aren’t these the poems I’ve most needed to hear” (Poet X 345)?

Xiomara’s story ends with attending her first slam, performing, and knowing that “There is power in the word” (Poet X 353). The story builds and culminates with Xiomara and the reader understanding that, “The farthest external horizons of our hopes and fears are cobbled by our poems, carved from the rock experiences of our daily lives. This is not idle fantasy, but the true meaning of “it feels right to me”” (Lorde 1985).

Writing poetry is a way for women to regain power, agency of self, and to silently (and publicly) speak out against the oppression to which we are subjected. Xiomara uses her writing of poetry to regain her power, her agency of self, and to release her frustrations regarding gender roles and the power dynamics between the men and women in her life, and herself. The Poet X brings awareness and examines these issues, presenting readers with a healthy way to process their own frustrations with patriarchy, sexism, and misogyny.

The Poet X is about a girl being silenced
I’m not a brown girl, nor Catholic
But I know how it feels
to be silenced
to be sexualized

He tells me to calm down and write my poem
I will not calm down
But I will write my poem

I wear a crown of the bones of those
Who came before me
The ones who paved the way

A crown held together
By the blood that drips from my fingers
As I shed the experiences of my life
As I see myself in the letters that make the words
The words that string together
The words that become a part of the crown

I unlearn all the small ways I was silenced
Small ways that turned into big ways
I pry the staples holding my lips together
Allowing the fire of unspoken words
To escape through my lips
In a rage of curse words laced with pain

Wearing the crown
I become a warrior
Armed with words
Pointing with verses
Discharging with poetry
Eternalizing my life on the page

Silenced no more
Camilla Downs, 2024

Sources:

Theoretical Foundations for Social Justice Education by Lee Anne Bell

The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo

Poetry is Not a Luxury (1985) by Audre Lorde

https://www.msnbc.com/ali-velshi/watch/velshi-banned-book-club-the-poet-x-by-elizabeth-acevedo-214801989965

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