On January 17 2019, Lillian Darnell left for another long weekend with The Romano Duo (grandparents) ….
I look forward to these days of respite.
She looks forward to them.
Yet, every time she leaves to spend days away,
My heart is surrounded by a tingling sadness.
It’s such an interesting feeling.
When tingling sadness dances with peaceful contentment.
They pair well.
Sharing wisdom and shedding Light.
I take the hand of tingling sadness and peaceful contentment.
We embrace and dance to the tune of an old and worn knowing.
And the small, barely there rain drops fall
to slowly make disappear her foot prints,
as she joyfully leaves me.
Finally finished Lillian’s hand made Christmas gift! xoxo
Dearest Lillian
May you always live with an open and light heart,
May you always live knowing you are unconditionally loved,
May you always live knowing and allowing peace, joy, and abundance.
May good fortune smile and shower upon you,
May joy stalk you and be hidden in every nook and cranny of your life,
May peace float always above you as a puffy cloud in a bright blue sky.
May the shadows ever be there to bring delight and laughter to your world,
May the suns rays ever bring a smile and tender joy to your life,
May you never lose your sense of wonder with all things that most have lost.
May you always hear the sweet sound of the magical bell.
May you always know, even after I am long done with this body,
that my love for you is eternal and never ending.
I love you,
Camilla 💖
Mother
xoxo
1.11.18
I think it was in 2012 when I began making each of them something handmade that incorporated some type of writing from me. It brings me such joy and I feel even if they don’t fully appreciate it now, they will cherish it some day. And, if they don’t, that’s okay too. For once I make it and give it as a gift, I release it.
I like to use recycled items when creating hand made gifts. This is a piece of cardboard. The top and bottom accent are from an old wall calendar which features flowers. The star, bird, and sun are from another old calendar. The flowers are from a really old Highlights magazine. The hand drawn decorations are with glitter glue. And, last, I’ll attach a piece of hemp shoe string to use for hanging the piece. A friend donated boxes of this hemp string to us many years ago. Fun!
Blessings,
Camilla See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here.
Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.
I’m a month late posting this, yet I promised Lillian that I would write a post dedicated to her …. xoxo
The Dance of Lillian
She came into this world
with her own agenda.
She came missing the short
arm of chromosome number 18.
Never mind what they
thought about how
they would parent her.
They would quickly
learn no parenting
manual existed for
the lessons she was
to bring with her
through this incarnation.
She delivered the
gift of shattered
expectations early
in her Earth life
as Lillian.
She had chosen
as a mom someone
who had many uncomfortable
lessons to learn.
Patience was to
be another of the
lessons she brought
with the tiny little
body she inhabited.
She was not done yet.
The next gift delivered
flowed into their
lives as a pure
cold stream runs
through the land.
That message.
Acceptance.
Acceptance of what life
had delivered and would
deliver.
This little bundle
that grew into a bright
shining light had
many lessons bundled within.
The next was to be
release of judgments.
Oh. That one stung
worse than an unwanted
bee sting on a warm
sunny day. A sting
that lingered for
years, resurfacing
at just the right moment.
This little bundle
who could be anything
but a bundle of joy.
A bundle of anger,
anxiety, violence, and
all kinds of negativity.
With this bundle
came the lesson of
living in the present
moments of life.
Being mindful and
learning the art
of mindfulness.
Responding to this one
from the present moments
of life instead of hurts
from the past. Oh. This
was one of the hardest
lessons yet.
This had nothing to do
with this little bundle,
now a blossoming teen.
As she may have come
into this world in all
her nakedness.
Yet, she contained in
the fibers of her very
being, a Divinely pure
mirror that served to reflect
to the one called Mom
the lesson that it
was she who needed
to go within, to
confront her past,
to feel what she had
not wanted to feel,
And release it.
This would be the Mom’s
lesson of learning how to
live in the present moments
of life and to embrace the
art of mindfulness.
Four pounds and five
ounces of life changing,
life altering, life correcting
joy arrived on the evening
of September 14 2001.
Gratitude does not
even begin to describe
what the Mom feels about
the tiny bundle and she
deciding to have these
roles in this life.
The blossoming teen
was the catalyst
to teaching the mom that
she had it all wrong.
She and all children
are our awakeners.
They are not to
be pushed to the side,
put in the corner,
talked down to,
treated harshly,
abused, controlled,
barked at with commands
and “because I said so”
ridiculousness.
They are to be
respected and
treated as equals.
They may inhabit tiny
little bodies when they
first arrive.
Yet, the souls within
these tiny precious bodies
have much to teach us.
She came in missing
the short arm of her
chromosome number 18.
The lesson that encompasses
all of the other lessons
she brought forth.
Different.
She taught the mom
that she was going to be
the one who lives life
differently.
Mom learned how to live
life from the heart,
trusting the whisperings
of the heart.
She, who now enters
her sixteenth orbit
around the sun in this
Lillian body.
Happy, Happy Birthday
YOU beautiful being.
Thank you for blessing me
and being my awakener.
I Love You,
Camilla
Your Earth Mom
*******************************************
In addition to this, I thought it would be fun to link to her birthday posts over on the Team TLC blog and past birthday posts!
Camilla See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is arriving November 2017. Learn more and order here.
Wonderfully exciting news! My 11 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.
In honor of World Poetry Day, I’m sharing some of my favorite poems. Beginning with a Renga poem that Team TLC wrote together in September 2015. We wrote the poem in TLC order.
Renga is a genre of Japanese collaborative poetry. Poets work in pairs or small groups, taking turns composing alternating three-line and two-line stanzas. To create a renga, one poet writes the first stanza, which is three lines long. The next poet add the second stanza of two lines.
Love is Magical
Cows are loud and can moo
sometimes they say,
I love you!
Cows have milk,
and cows eat grass.
You are surrounded by love
every breath you take is love
You are love
Love is the butterfly
gracefully it flies
magical is it’s color
Love is magical
the alchemy of peace.
Airplanes flying
through the air
fun galare!
How beautiful the bird flies,
as the wind.
Love is the tree
Love is the flower
Love is the silence.
Flowers blossom
pollen falls.
Rainbow is the sky
Rainbow is the water
Rainbow is the colors of the earth.
Nature is love
Nature knows how to be.
Team tlc
always kind
always thinking.
Kindness is always there
Kindness is like friendship
A wise man
is kind to the kind
and kind to the unkind
A wise man
under a tree
Blue bird flies to Alaska
Red bird flies to Hawaii
White bird flies to Australia
The magical hummingbird
arrives on a warm summer day
Sushi
best food ever
try some
Pineapple
Most delicious food ever
Mindful eating
Mindful living
The way of peace and happiness
Eating is fun
and yummy
Apple trees grow with sunshine
Butterflies grow with food
Cake gets eaten fast or slow.
Beings, trees, and insects
We are all one love.
********************
Little Kindness
by William Wadsworth
Small service is true service while it lasts,
Of humblest friends, bright creature, scorn not one;
The daisy by the shadow which it casts
Protects the lingering dewdrop from the sun.
*******************************
Nature is What We See
by Emily Dickinson
“Nature is what we see –
The Hill – the Afternoon-
Squirrel-Eclipse-the Bumble bee-
Nay-Nature is Heaven-
Nature is what we hear-
The Bobolink-the Sea-
Thunder-The Cricket-
Nay-Nature is Harmony-
Nature is what we know-
Yet have no art to say-
So impotent Our Wisdom is
To her Simplicity.
*************************
Afternoon on a Hill
by Edna St. Vincent Millay
I will be the gladdest thing
Under the sun!
I will touch a hundred flowers
And not pick one.
I will look at cliffs and clouds
With quiet eyes,
Watch the wind bow down the grass,
And the grass rise.
And when lights begin to show
Up from the town,
I will mark which must be mine,
And then start down!
**********************
love is a place
by e.e. cummings
love is a place
& through this place of
love move
(with brightness of peace)
all places
yes is a world
& in this world of
yes live
(skillfully curled)
all worlds.
**********************
There are many more poets and poems I really love!! Yet, this post would have gone on way too long!!
Blessings,
Camilla See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.
Thomas says, “Not what I was expecting. It was sad.”
Lillian says, “Sad, yet had good parts and interesting songs.”
I say, “Quite emotional. A young boy trying his best to care for he and his younger sister. Causes one to think of and know what’s truly important in this life.”
Camilla’s choice – “Finding Forrester”
I say, “I love this story. ‘The first key to writing is just to write! Write from the heart. Review with the head.’ I love this story! Oh. Did I say, I love this story. I could have done with a lot less inappropriate language, yet, I understand it was representative of the characters.”
Thomas says, “Good movie. I liked it a lot. Funny in some parts, suspenseful, liked the characters. Really liked that Forrester wears his socks inside out due to the seams on the inside. I agree and wear my socks inside out. The people who make socks make them wrong.”
Lillian says, “Good, awesome, and my favorite part was near the end. I liked it!”
Blessings,
Camilla See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.
Latest Articles:
[catlist name=blog]
*Finding Forrester Movie Review, *Grave of the Fireflies Movie Review
This is my third time “reading” this book. It takes a LONG time as I only read a section or two every day …. in order to BE with what I’m reading.
Sort of a continuation of “The Course in Miracles” … The contents of this book are simply LOVE, JOY, and FREEDOM.
I would describe it as a guide book for the internal journey of coming to know oneself, freeing oneself from false walls one has built, and finally sharing the gifts and treasures within oneself with humanity …. with joy, peace, and love.
A mathematical folk tale about wisdom and fairness. A village girl in India teaches a raja what it truly means to be wise and fair. Reading this we learnt the surprising power of doubling one grain of rice every day for thirty days …. growing into more than one billion grains of rice.
We all LOVE books by DEMI. The illustrations are simply unmatched with content that’s bursting with wisdom!
Amazing book about a young boy who travels to the Ends of the Earth ready to conquer! Along the way he discovers that what actually lies in his heart is kindness and compassion, rather than conquering, and he spreads it all along the way.
Absolutely LOVED this book! The illustrations are vibrant and captivating. Thomas and Lillian were glued to it right along with me!
I help to support my family with my writings. So … there are Amazon affiliate links in this post. This simply means that if you click through to Amazon for more information about a book, and you buy something, we get a few cents (and it doesn’t cost you anything more than usual). Oceans of gratitude … xoxo
Blessings,
Camilla See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.
Latest Articles:
[catlist name=blog]
*A Course of Love Book Review, One Grain of Rice Book Review, The Legend of the Golden Snail Book Review
Here’s to a 2017 in which we all go within to BE the change we wish to see in the world. BE Love, BE Peace, BE Compassion … We must BE this within in order to experience it without.
Blessings,
Camilla See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.
“We’re the weirdest people I know.” ~Thomas Darnell (11.8.16) …. To which we both burst out laughing and let even more weirdness ensue. It’s true. I’m not your average person, nor the average mom. But, that’s another story for another time …. This one’s for Thomas ….
Happy Happy Happy 11th Birthday Thomas!!!!
Here’s to you! As you begin your 11th trip around the sun, may you live your life to the fullest. You have blessed me with countless gifts from the moment you joined us.
Your tender heart combined with your honesty, compassion, and empathy are indeed precious. Rounded out with your true confusion as to why age seems to be such a big deal in this world, by way if its limitations; have made for interesting, fun, and life shifting adventures and conversations. Your soul knows no age and you have not forgotten that.
“It’s like I’ve lived this life before, I have nostalgia almost every day, like I’ve experienced this all before.” said often by Thomas.
He wanted cheesecake for his cake. So that’s what I made for him with shaved dark chocolate on top. Oh my YUM!!!
He so loves and enjoys reading National Geographic so I got him a subscription for the print edition. Lillian made a handmade card and then a “mystery box” (which he renamed a “memory box”).
With help from me she collected items from around the house to put in the box and then she handmade a coupon for one stone or crystal from Stone Age with some of her own quotes on the back. Other goodies from The Romano Duo!!
Snapshot of Thomas: Some of his favorite topics are minecraft, LEGOS, coding, math, and learning about topics that interest him. He loves fibonacci numbers, bernoulli’s equation, and the law of infinite probability. Some of his most cherished things to do are reading, being outside, going on adventures, and swimming.
And as of about two weeks ago, has a PUBLISHED BOOK!!! Wahoooo!!!
He asks a billion questions, makes funny noises, teases his sister too much, has sensory processing issues, gets overwhelmed in crowds and noisy places, takes longer than the average person to process questions asked of him ….
He calls me out when I’m not “doing” as I say, he holds the biggest freakin mirror in front of me when I need it most, and he has a heart of gold.
Thomas, I love you throughout all of time and all dimensions and am blessed we chose to be mother and son in this life.
PEACE and LOVE …. PEACE and LOVE …. PEACE and LOVE ….
The most amazing vegan root beer float with coconut bliss ice cream and Oogave root beer. Plus a treat for me: Aztec D’oro, made with almond milk.
But first, a toast to Thomas’ 11th trip around the sun with this amazing and yummy water.
Thank you Great Full Gardens for the birthday discount … we are over the super moon thankful to you for that!!!
Blessings,
Camilla See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
Wonderfully exciting news! Thomas, my 11 year old son’s book, Biggest Little Photographer, is now published. It’s here. Be inspired! Order one for yourself or as an inspirational gift!
I say, “Wonderful. Reconciliation of a father and son by way of conversations of migrations of souls. A journey of a father who finds his heart again. Peter O’Toole is fabulous in this movie! Loved it!”
Lillian says, “Good, my favorite part was the dog scene, and liked the plot.”
Thomas says, “I didn’t understand some of it, my favorite part was the ending, I like how few actors were in it, and I liked the original plot.”
(We talked about it afterwards and watched the interviews with producers and actors ….. and now Thomas understands.)
I say, “Absolutely adore this movie. It was Frank Capra’s favorite out of all he directed. One mans life touches the life of so many others. No man is born a failure. You are here for a reason.”
Lillian says, “Good, Christmasy, great, inspiring, heart warming, and my favorite parts are the dance in the gym and the end.”
Thomas says, “It was good. I like it every time we watch it. Inspiring and heart warming.”
Lillian says, “Good, musical, awesome, favorite part was the end, and Cheryl Ladd is beautiful as Grace Kelly.”
I say, “Really interesting to learn more about Grace Kelly. I very much enjoyed watching this with Thomas and Lillian.”
Thomas says, “Liked the flow of the movie, liked the story, and it was interesting.”
I help to support my family with my writings. So … there are Amazon affiliate links in this post. This simply means that if you click through to Amazon for more information about a book, and you buy something, we get a few cents (and it doesn’t cost you anything more than usual). Oceans of gratitude … xoxo
Blessings,
Camilla See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
Wonderfully exciting news! My 11 year old son’s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Get one for yourself or as a gift and be inspired! Learn more and order here.
Latest Articles:
[catlist name=blog]
*Dean Spanley Movie Review, It’s a Wonderful Life Movie Review, Grace Kelly Movie Review
I drove Team TLC 3,400 miles. Thursday, July 7, 2016 through Saturday, July 16, 2016 I drove 3,400 miles roundtrip to attend the Chromosome 18 Conference – Reno, Nevada to San Antonio, Texas .. 1,700 miles each way. A conference Thomas and Lillian have their hearts set on attending every year. We began attending the C18 Conference in 2009 when it was in Las Vegas and have gone every year since then.
We arrived home at midnight on Saturday, July 16th. I was kind of it out of all day Sunday. Then Monday, I woke up ready to go! By Monday afternoon, every muscle in my body ached and I felt weighted down. I was completely out of it for 4 full days. It took about 7 days before I felt like myself again.
Yet, I DID IT!! … xoxoxo
The plan was to leave at 5:00 am on Thursday, the 7th, so that I could drive as far as possible before darkness fell upon us. I am completely out of my comfort zone driving in the dark in unfamiliar places. I could not get to sleep the night before. I was worried and having anxiety about this trip due to finances, honestly, not even having enough to cover the trip.
Yet, I know how deeply important this conference is to Thomas and Lillian. Each for their own reasons. Thomas is the sibling to a sister who has a chromosome deletion. He has, and is, developing deep friendships with the other siblings his age and being mentored by the older siblings.
Lillian’s friends are her peers that she has connected with through this conference. She communicates with some of them all throughout the year. When one texts, blogs, post on Facebook and Instagram, emails, chats on Facebook, or uses skype; the spoken word is not needed.
In our world of verbal communication difficulties, social media has helped create a world that would not exist for Lillian and one where she has true friends. She has no local friends, yet she has friends all over the United States and the world … As far away as Tasmania, Australia.
After having about 3 hours sleep, I could not seem to get ready as I was overwhelmed with the enormity of this trip. I had an adult meltdown which delayed our departure. We were finally on our way at 7:00 am; two hours later than I had planned.
There was much excitement as we began the road trip. Lots of talking, observing the landscape, and silliness. About two hours into the morning, we lost cell phone service due to the rural area we traveled. We were without cell service for the next five or six hours until we reached Las Vegas. During this time, Thomas and Lillian became absorbed in reading books, magazines, or using their computers or phones.
Which left my mind much time to mess with me. I had stepped way out of my comfort zone with this trip. I had never driven this far, much less driven this far being the only one in charge of packing, driving, and navigating. Plus, we had never driven this far as a family. Our max road trip travel time was to the 2015 conference in Salt Lake City; which was about an 8 hour drive from Reno.
Thoughts of us being stranded due to car problems kept entering my mind like a dark storm cloud encroaching on the brightest of days. Thoughts of the lack of finances for this trip took their turn in the dance also. Not to be left out of the dance, thoughts of my insanity at attempting this cut into the dance too. All of this dance to be completed with the veil of anxiety and worry weaving in and out like a breeze blowing through the trees.
Thankfully, I am a student of mindfulness and emotional connection. And, since there was nothing else to do but sit and drive, I took this opportunity to put these practices to work. It was a rapturous dance between being mindful, connecting with emotions, and embracing the fear wanting to dance with me.
This trip proved to be challenging. I had not anticipated this dance with life in all of its flavors and colors in such a way to cause the suffering brought on by my thoughts. It was my goal to have this trip be a learning experience for me of not knowing, not planning, and just going. That’s certainly not for everyone.
Yet, I felt this was important for me. It’s a huge step out of my comfort zone. One step closer to trusting myself, trusting internal messages, and letting go of how it’s supposed to be done. As mentioned earlier, I’ve never driven this far alone … Much less alone with Thomas and Lillian. In addition to driving this far in Rosey, our 15 year old car, with dancing through this trip on less than a shoe string budget and letting go of worry that the string will hold tight.
I had moments where I was so extremely hot and exhausted I had visions of taking an ice bath and moments when I was so tired I was shaking and wondering what in the heck I was doing ….. Yet, I know. I may not know on the surface right now; but deep down, I know why I do what I do.
This was also a dance full of wonderful, bright moments. We shared inspiring comments and tons of love that furthered each one of us. Definitely some amazing growth for all of us happened! WOW!
**LOVE OFFERING** If you find this content helpful, I invite you to toss a tip in the love offering bowl. With oceans of gratitude … Camilla ….
We had a ball and laughed tons and enjoyed the beautiful landscape as we drove by it. Lillian was being so helpful and encouraging Thursday morning before we left.
Thomas was awesome and inspiring with his comments as we drove the two lane highways in the middle of nowhere in Nevada and Arizona. We saw a huge sign that read, “Nothing” and had a great laugh about that! Just after driving through Boulder City and Hoover dam, Thomas said, “I love it here.” He was so impressed with Lake Mead and said he wanted to live there.
Thomas went on to say that he always has deja vu and he has lived this life before. He said it all seems so familiar. He was incredibly inspired by the beauty that passed before our eyes. He also commented that he wants to buy land and simply let kids play on the land.
On the first day of driving, Lillian got sick to her stomach. We ended up spending about 30 minutes at a gas station bathroom and Thomas was extremely helpful. When we were looking for a place to stay and it kept getting darker and darker, I apologized to them as I had planned on stopping sooner. He said, “When you get a rock in your shoe, just shake it out.”
Rosey did a pretty good job. She had a wee bit of problems getting overheated but that was resolved with turning the air conditioner off while traveling up and down the mountainous areas. I had to give her some oil and coolant on the way there and some oil on the way back home. It’s scorching hot checking oil and fluids in over 100 degree weather!
With an hour and a half to go before we arrived in San Antonio, the epoxy glue I use for the driver side mirror had enough of the heat and was simply melting away! A couple of years ago I bumped the mirror backing out of a covered parking spot. So, for about 20 minutes I was holding the mirror until I could pull over. Bungee cord to the rescue!! Before we headed back home, the hotel gave me duct tape and that worked great for the ride back home.
I feel strongly guided to be establishing a new relationship with myself and the world and to model this for my kids, have them actively participate, and to help them know that there’s more to life and living than traditionally meets the eye.
I want them to never lose touch with their true self and to grow into adults knowing their given talents and having a solid and clear courage and conviction in sharing that talent with the world!
I continue to learn so much daily … About me, Thomas and Lillian, others and simply just living and dancing with life! xoxo
Blessings,
Camilla See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
Wonderfully exciting news! We’ve completed the first book trailer for my 10 year old son’s, Thomas Darnell, upcoming book, Biggest Little Photographer. You can learn more and pre-order here.
