Thank You Dr. Wayne Dyer

Oceans of gratitude to Wayne Dyer. Because of you, I will not die with my music still inside of me. I am finally letting myself sing the songs that only I can sing.

It was the summer of 2012 when Wayne Dyer came into my life. Perfectly timed; for the teacher arrives when the student is ready.

I met a new friend for breakfast one summer morning in 2012. We had a great time talking over breakfast about our past and current life adventures. As we were saying goodbye, he said that there was something in his car that he was supposed to give to me. I stood there waiting and wondering what on earth this new friend could possibly have in his car that I was supposed to have.

He came back with the above in his hand. It’s an audio of a weekend seminar that Wayne Dyer delivered in Hawaii. He simply said, “This is yours now. You will know when to pass it on.” At the time, I was thinking, “How odd?! How could he possibly know that he was supposed to give this to me.” Three years later, I get it.

I began to listen to it immediately, not even “grasping” some of the concepts and actually getting irritated with some of the content. I listened over and over and over .. and then I begin to experience a slight shift within me.

The most powerful piece of The Shift audio for me is the section where Wayne Dyer talks about “Going Home” as it relates to the foods we eat and habits we have. I began to ask myself in certain situations, “Are you headed home Camilla?” From that moment forward I read one Wayne Dyer book after another. I still have not read them all.

The next most powerful message from The Shift audio for me was Dyer’s story of equating the song “Row, row, row your boat …” to life. I wrote a blog post in May 2013 titled, “Live Your Purpose” that was partly inspired by this message.

Then I began to read books that Wayne Dyer mentions in his books and lectures. I checked out every Wayne Dyer audio book and lecture that the Washoe County Library System had. This is very similar to the shift that occurred for me back in 1997.

I had been wanting to watch Dyer’s movie, The Shift. (The movie is free to watch through September 30th as it was his wish to have 3 million people watch it.) I finally found it at the library last year and we watched it for a Team TLC movie night. I’m so grateful I got to share watching it with Thomas and Lillian. They loved it. Especially Thomas. With Wayne’s passing, we just recently watched it again as Hay House has posted it for viewing. It’s such a powerful movie.

His wasn’t the only content and material I devoured. Yet, Wayne Dyer was the catalyst. Since that moment, every single book I read, every new friendship formed, friendships that faded, old friendships rekindled, every movie I’ve watched, audio I’ve listened to, blog post written, every meditation, every message, every synchronistic moment, decisions made,  every “career” move … have all lead to the shift that occurred and is still in process.

I had never been so moved and inspired by nature as has happened since the summer of 2012. In January 2013 I visited Fallen Leaf Lake. I had not been there before and had the most amazing experience. I wrote a post about it with some great pictures. Here’s part of what Fallen Leaf inspired …

Earth Dance

As the sun’s rays dance upon you like stars twinkling in the night sky, so shall our souls dance upon this Earth.

As you are who you are with ease, so shall we no longer struggle to be who we are.

As you …. (read more)

In 2014, I was rereading, There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem, when another huge shift occurred for me. I wrote about it here, titled, “Magical Ingredient”.

At some point in my young life I stopped living from the heart, wrapped it up tight, and began living from my head. I now shower that young Camilla with love and have been on the path to removing the shell that surrounds my heart. Many times it’s been a difficult path, yet I would not change a single thing.

I love sharing kindness and love and I love being me and sharing what comes from my heart. In the past I did not share for fear of other people’s reactions. I now know what’s in all of our hearts is divine and should be shared. It may rub some the wrong way, yet there is at least one person, if not many, who will benefit from what one shares from the heart. When we share from the heart it creates a ripple effect … an effect that reaches farther than we will ever know. What’s in our heart is the treasure we are meant to share.

Once again, oceans of gratitude to Wayne Dyer. Because of you, I will not die with my music still inside of me. I am finally letting myself sing the songs that only I can sing. You arrived when I was ready.

From Wayne Dyer’s movie, The Shift “The Song” … Watch it! It’s Awesome!

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Divorce – A Life Changing Experience

I am grateful to have had the opportunity to share a “respond with love and love is the answer” philosophy in a recent Huffington Post article. It served as a great reminder for me at the perfect moment. It seems that almost always the messages I share come about with perfect timing for me. 6 Lessons Learned Through Divorce and Marriage. My quote is the very last one – #6.

Wedding Day 10.24.98 ... With The Romano Duo (My Mom & Step-Father)

Here is the original “quote” that I shared with Michelle Colon-Johnson, the author of the article. This has not been edited and is in it’s raw form. I told Michelle I knew that it was quite wordy and that I had simply opened my heart and let the words flow. We’ve known one another since January 2012 so she’s familiar with my philosophy. With that knowledge, she did an amazing job at condensing my long “quote” to one beautiful sentence! Michelle’s question was, “What did you learn through divorce?”

I learned that love is the necessary magical ingredient for living a peaceful and joyous life. I could choose to be full of despair and sadness because my ex and I did not have a healthy relationship after divorce, full of despair and sadness because I am raising two children alone and with one having special needs. I chose instead for the divorce that happened in 2007 to open the door to my own enlightenment. I learned how to connect with my emotions, to face my own darkness, and to shed what no longer serves me. I learned to not take what others say to or about me personally. I learned to see my ex-husband as one of my greatest teachers and to know that when I find fault in another, it really has to do with me and not that person. I learned to respond to situations with love and to know that when a person is delivering unkindness to me, that it’s most likely due to that person not feeling loved. I learned how judgmental I was about single moms and those that chose divorce. Fortunately, these parts of me longer exist and I am full of compassion, empathy, and love for others. I am human and judgments still creep into my thoughts. However I recognize and release those thoughts. What did I learn from experiencing divorce? I learned about peace, joy, being non-judgmental, how to see the gift in uncomfortable situations, how to be me …. and that love is always the answer.

Me at The Great Salt Lake July 2015

This learning and philosophy is not something that happened over night. I got divorced in September 2007 and it took a great deal of time, patience, practice, and love of self to reach this point. An older post titled, One Magical Ingredient, goes into more detail about this. Having said that, I am human, and at times I forget what I have learned and revert to old habits and old ways of thinking.

I am grateful now that I can recognize when I have slipped back, be kind to myself in noticing how I’m thinking, and then begin to release it. I have chosen to share what I have learned over these past 18 years with others through coaching, my book, this blog, and facebook. I would love to hear from you if you feel moved. xoxo

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Living in a Tiny Home Adventures – Week Two

Thomas, The Lake, The Ducks, The Sunset ... On One of Our Walks ...

If you are new to this blog or the tiny-home-adventures blog series, go here to read the first post titled, Living in a Tiny Home Adventures. I imagine the updates will slow down as we get settled and get everything unpacked and organized, but for now I’ve been posting weekly.

Team TLC Out For a Walk

Week two was much smoother. I was not needed at HDMS for subbing so I was able to use my mornings writing and the afternoons unpacking. (I was quoted in a just published Huffington Post article titled, 6 Lessons Learned Through Divorce and Marriage. Pretty cool! Go here to read the article. I’m #6.)

The bathroom is finished! The living room is almost finished. Kitchen is the second runner up to being finished. The rest of the place, the bedroom and Thomas’ “room” are still a mess. I’m thinking at the two month mark we’ll have it almost finished and most definitely by the three month mark. It’s my goal to have the storage unit cleaned out by that time also, if not by month four.

Team TLC loves, loves, loves our new tiny place. Truly, we have so much to be thankful for with this home and blessings abound. The living room is big and so is the bedroom and bathroom. We get awesome sunlight in the huge, nearly floor to ceiling, living room window. The window faces Southeast so it gets great sunlight at different levels throughout the day. I’ve found 3 out of the 4 crystals we have and they are now hanging in the window providing us with beautiful dancing rainbows everywhere!! We love our crystals and they love us back by sharing their beauty!

Last week I wrote about how I have finally released the grip on my desk and will get rid of it as soon as I get to clearing the storage. This past weekend I decided that I would do the same with our kitchen table. The Romano Duo gifted me the table for my birthday in 2008. Something interesting happened after I decided I would pass it on. I found the perfect place for it and the chairs! HA! So, as long as it works in this location, we will keep it. If it seems to be in our way or a bother, then I have no concerns about passing it on to someone else.

I made the first trip to Goodwill and donated 7 bags of things. That felt good. I’ve already got 2 or 3 more bags ready and one bag ready for Grassroots Books (a local used book store). I will be going through my clothes to get rid of even more. I’ve gotten rid of almost everything I don’t wear or haven’t worn in a while. Now, it’s down to the items I only wear once or twice. The closet is just not big enough and I don’t feel like I need this many clothes. As I am financially able I will replace the huge amount of inexpensive clothes I own with a few good quality items. No more of this closet full of throw away clothing!

Now. For some of the un-lovely aspects. Thomas and Lillian have a more difficult time letting go and releasing “stuff”. I choose to see this as a learning experience for all of us. I do not require that they get rid of things. I simply ask. If they say “no”, we keep it. However, I model for them getting rid of things. I let them witness me doing it. They don’t always say no. In fact, they surprise me sometimes by saying yes, when I thought they’d say the opposite. Thomas is better about it than Lillian. That young lady wants to keep EVERYTHING!

Thomas is also struggling with not having a dedicated room to himself. I have created a space for him and most of his belongings. Yet, he craves something dividing his space from the rest of the living space. I’m researching what I can do for him and will take care of that as soon as I get everything unpacked. I’m pondering using curtains to divide the area and will search online for more options.

I am extremely happy with our place and the community. The only drawback for me is the traffic noise from South Meadows Parkway. This was the only 1 bedroom on the ground floor that was available for when I needed to move. There were plenty of 2nd floor 1 bedrooms available, but then there’s the whole stair issue with Lillian. However, I do not dwell on this drawback. It’s a very quiet location other than that.

Bouquet of Sunshine

Now. Back to the lovely aspects! I was moved to deliver a bouquet of sunshine to the kind ladies in The Vintage office. That was fun! Also, we had an amazing swim during last week too. It was a really warm day and the water was the perfect cool temperature. It was soothing, peaceful, and I truly felt one with the water. I was in the zone! Total bliss.

I sure do enjoy heading over to the lodge to get a second cup of coffee on some mornings. There’s a great industrial size coffee grinder/coffee maker which hosts Starbucks Breakfast Blend! They also have a wonderful selection of tea. I’m not quite sure why this feels so good; yet, I just love walking to the lodge with my coffee cup in hand (with a splash of organic half n half) and having some freshly ground and brewed coffee. I would prefer if they had a local company’s coffee and I may suggest that after I get to know everyone better.

That’s all for now … The adventure continues …. Thanks for being a part of it!

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Happy 14th Birthday Lillian

To a being who is one of my greatest teachers in this life … May you have the most amazing 14th journey around the sun. You have helped teach me more than I ever thought possible, the meaning of life and why we are here …. Love and Kindness … xoxo

At 11:27 pm tonight the next journey begins for you, Lillian Darnell. I wrote a birthday post for Lillian’s 12th birthday detailing how she flew into the world. She continues to spread her wings and fly with her amazing imagination and the wonderful stories she shares on her blog. You GO Lillian!

aka … MOM!

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Love is Magical – A Renga Poem

In July 2015 Team TLC wrote a renga poem. It took us about 1 or 2 weeks as the nature of a renga is that authors take turns writing a stanza. I love the outcome and felt moved to share it with you. For those that know us, you may be able to tell who wrote which lines! (Team TLC is myself and my 2 kids. The initials of all of our first names are TLC … Thomas, Lillian, and Camilla.)

Cows are loud and can moo
sometimes they say,
I love you!

Cows have milk,
and cows eat grass.

You are surrounded by love
every breath you take is love
You are love

Guinea pigs wheek and guinea pigs meek,
lovey dovey guinea piggy moo!

Love is the butterfly
gracefully it flies
magical is it’s color

Love is magical
the alchemy of peace.

Airplanes flying
through the air
fun galare!

How beautiful the bird flies,
as the wind.

Love is the tree
Love is the flower
Love is the silence.

Flowers blossom
pollen falls.

Rainbow is the sky
Rainbow is the water
Rainbow is the colors of the earth.

Nature is love
Nature knows how to be.

Team tlc
always kind
always thinking.

Kindness is always there
Kindness is like friendship

A wise man
is kind to the kind
and kind to the unkind

A wise man
under a tree

Blue bird flies to Alaska
Red bird flies to Hawaii
White bird flies to Australia

The magical hummingbird
arrives on a warm summer day

best food ever
try some

Most delicious food ever

Mindful eating
Mindful living
The way of peace and happiness

Eating is fun
and yummy

Apple trees grow with sunshine
Butterflies grow with food
Cake gets eaten fast or slow.

Beings, trees, and insects
We are all one love.

Hope you enjoyed it!

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Living in a Tiny Home Adventures – Week One

Team TLC On Our First Walk Around the Lake

Last week I wrote about how and why Team TLC moved into a 1 bedroom 810 square foot condo. I’ve decided to write update posts as time allows. The still inner voice urges me to share this adventure and journey with others. Anyone who knows me also knows that I freely and openly share my life’s journey for the growth and benefit of others as I feel that is what I’m supposed to BE doing.

What You Do With the TV Nook When You Don't Own One - Fill It With Books!

Bedroom Still A Mess! All That's Been Done is Rearranging Dressers.

Week one was a whirlwind. We moved in on Sunday. I subbed every day last week so the unpacking and rearranging was very slow moving. (I substitute teach at the school that Thomas attends – High Desert Montessori School.)

Love The Sun Shining Through The Prism - More Prisms Coming - Haven't Unpacked Them Yet!

All of us adjusted pretty quickly to our new place. So far we’ve not had problems or emergency situations with having only one bathroom. In case of emergency, we can use the lodge bathroom. We’ve mostly been mindful of the call of nature for one another!

Our First Walk Around the Lake .... xoxo

There were no problems sleeping or worries about being somewhere new. We all slept in the bedroom through Friday when I was finally able to clear the boxes around the hide-a-bed couch. Lillian’s full size bed and my queen size bed both fit into the bedroom so that’s where we’ll sleep. Thomas gets to have his own little area and will sleep on the hide-a-bed. He’s always had his own bed and bedroom in the past, with his latest bed being a queen size that he got from Grandma Marge (Frank’s mom) when she moved into assisted living. He has never slept well on the bed, so we both decided to get rid of it and will eventually get him a brand new one.

Thomas' "Bedroom" - Getting There ..

The place is still a mess, yet, it’s coming together finally. We still have some things in the storage unit also. There’s another couch, my desk, a filing cabinet, holiday decorations, two child recliners, an office chair, Thomas’ desk, keepsake items, pictures, Thomas’ HUGE box of LEGOS, and probably some things I’ve forgotten about!

Still Need to Put Away Things, Yet The Kitchen Is Almost Done ... Team TLC!

Beautiful!! Our First Walk Around The Lake

I have a wild and crazy plan! Ready ….. I’m making it my goal to clear the storage unit completely and have everything we own here with us in this beautiful 810 square foot oasis! Purging and simplifying are not new concepts for me. This truly began in July 2011 (read about it here). The couch is gone as soon as I schedule a donation center to come pick it up. I’m going to release my grip and let go of the desk. The desk was handmade especially for me in the late 1990′s, so I have been reluctant to release it. Now is the time. I will bless it, thank it, and pass it on. I plan to make space for Thomas’ desk once things are unpacked. We’ll see how it all progresses.

View From the Front Door

We’ve had several dinners on our patio, had our first movie night (and an extra movie night), went for our first walk around the lake, have gone to the pool several times, had the first beanie baby birthday party, and I taught Thomas how to play pool Friday afternoon in the lodge.

Great Heated Pool!

Hot Tub


Birthday Party For September (The Blue Beanie Baby Sitting On The Car)

Beautiful Lodge! Haven't Played Pool In Lots of Years!

GREAT Movie For Our First Movie Night!

Another GREAT Movie For An Extra Movie Night!

The adventure has begun …. Thanks for being a part of it! Go here to read about week two!

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Living in a Tiny Home Adventures

Team TLC On The Patio Of Our New Tiny Place

In July 2015 Team TLC moved out of the 1,300 square foot, 3 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment we had lived in for the past year. For the 7 years prior to that we had lived in an 1,800 square foot house. We put our belongings in storage and have been spending the summer with The Romano Duo as they are moving out of state for a couple of years. (Team TLC stands for my son, Thomas, daughter, Lillian, and me, Camilla. Thomas is 9 years old, Lillian is 13 years old, and I’m 45 years old. The first letters of each of our names is TLC. The Romano Duo are my mom, Patty, and my step-father, Frank Romano.)

I chose the place we moved out of because it was close to Thomas and Lillian’s school. After living in that part of town for a while, I decided I would rather drive a bit further and live closer to our old neighborhood. We all loved and missed our old stomping grounds!

This last week in August, our time with The Romano Duo has come to an end. For now, anyway. They will be leaving for Mississippi on September 15th and we moved into our own place this weekend. I’m nearly on the end of town in which I wanted us to live. It’s not exactly what I had envisioned, yet I know this is leading us to the exact perfect home for us.

I spent June, July, and August searching for a home in the Damonte Ranch/Virginia Foothills/Galena area. When I did find something in my price range, it was rented almost immediately after being advertised. I couldn’t get to them fast enough! When I did get there fast enough, it was usually a place with stairs and big open areas. Lillian could hardly stand it inside those particular houses. With her proprioceptive, vestibular, and sensory issues she just couldn’t take it. In one place, she had to stay in the bathroom while I looked around. I couldn’t really move her into a place in which she was not comfortable and one in which caused her such problems.

Bedroom Door! We've Claimed It! HA!

In less than one week’s time I viewed, signed the lease for, and moved us into a 1 bedroom, 1 bath 810 square foot condo at The Vintage at South Meadows Condominiums. There was no time left to keep looking. We shall see how many beds one can fit into a 13’10″ X 11’10″ bedroom. (**Update: I was able to fit one standard size and one queen bed with room for nightstands and dressers!) The grounds are gorgeous with an amazing private lake with a walking path, an awesome pool, and beautiful clubhouse (which can be used privately), and a cozy little movie theater! Not only that. They have a preferred employer program. Teachers get price and fee reductions and perks. YAY for being a substitute teacher! This will certainly be an adventure. There will have to be more purging as there’s no way all our stuff is going to fit into this place!

They Fit!!! Still A Mess With Unpacking! And Still Need Some Rearranging of Dressers.

Was it my plan to move us into such a small place with only ONE bathroom? No, not really. Did I mention there’s only ONE toilet for three people? HA! For several years now, I have been an admirer of Tiny Homes and the Tiny Homes movement. I love the idea and think I could live in one and be happy and content. Every time I’ve talked with Lillian and Thomas about it, they have not liked the idea. So, no, it was not my plan; but the seed was there in my heart to see just how much we could simplify.

Big Mess!! We LOVE it!

Thomas and Lillian observed as I looked for places these past several months along with the worry and frustration at times. When I took them to look at this place, they both loved it and the amenities, and most importantly, were both content and happy with the size of the place. All three of us are very excited about this move.

GREAT Patio!

I’m blessed and grateful that throughout the past 17 years I’ve learned skills and techniques that allow me to see the gift of situation and to know that everything is happening as it should to bring me and my family further clarity, enlightenment, and growth.

View From the Living Area! Trees Through the Window and That's Our Patio on the Left. So Cool!!

I’m contemplating writing a weekly blog post about our adventures as the plan for now is to live here for one year at the most …. or could be shorter depending on other circumstances.

Let the adventure begin!! (Go here to read about the first week in our tiny space!)

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Emotions: Embrace the Emptiness

View During the Writing Exercise

The below is a brief glimpse of a moment in time was inspired by Eckert Tolle’s book, Stillness Speaks (amazon affiliate link) and the author’s participation in an experential outdoor workshop centered on connecting with one self.

The day had finally arrived. Her day of respite; a day to herself to do with as she pleased. She looked forward to these days with the anticipation of a child as her birthday approaches.

She is a single mom, raising two kids. One creative, artistic, writer child who is a 13 year old girl with a genetic abnormality and a wise old soul masquerading as a 9 year old boy who has a difficult time BEing still and whose intellectual abilities are at the level of a 13 or 14 year old. On this day of respite the kids were to have a sleepover with their grandparents.

On Saturday morning as they said their goodbyes and the van drove out of sight, she felt an emptiness engulf her like a dark stormy cloud darkens the brightest of days. With heavy legs and heart she slowly walked inside feeling lonely and sad.

Why was this? A day to herself was supposed to be a day to rejoice, enjoy freedom from responsibilities, and take pleasure in time alone. Could these feelings be arising because she is purging and packing? During this time of “purge and pack” she is re-discovering treasures of cards, drawings, and creations from her beloved children. And in the process she is reminded of the meaningful lessons and simple adventures she has enjoyed with them.

Perhaps she is mourning the death of each of those experiences and feeling the emptiness that envelops one when any life experience comes to an end. Perhaps she is also mourning the end of another chapter with her kids as they pack and prepare to move.

In moments of reflection and little messages received throughout the day, she realized that she had never let herself grieve over the cooling of friendships a couple of years ago. She had been reminded of those friendships the day before and the reminder scratched a wound that had never healed. Perhaps this was the exact moment to grieve for those friendships and that’s what she let herself do. For her, the lesson is to be with and accept the emptiness that feels so heavy.

For her, the way through the darkness is to feel it; really feel what it feels like in the body and breath it into her heart so that the darkness can be transformed into light, spaciousness, gratitude and joy for the experience having happened in the first place.

Now she understands. When feelings like this arise, she is to BE still, BE quiet, and experience it so that she can gift herself deep peace for she knows her true self is peace and love. Instead of resisting the feeling, she now chooses to welcome that dark stormy cloud for she knows that within the core of the stormy cloud is pure love and beauty.

BE still, BE quiet … and Let GO to LOVE … xoxo

Author’s Note: I was inspired to share this from a third person point of view. I don’t think I’ve ever done that before, so hope you like it.

I decided to spend this day of respite at home watching movies as it would be a while before I would have “home” all to myself. I watched Miss Potter, Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont, and Magic of Belle Isle (amazon affiliate links) and ate hot buttered popcorn with raspberry lime sparkling water. It was heavenly!

During the triple feature a theme kept repeating of sharing information with others, writing, grieving, and friendship. The next morning, I still had the lonely, empty feeling. I picked up “Stillness Speaks” and said a little prayer that I turn to the exact page I needed at this moment. I opened to page 107; which states, “If you can learn to accept and even welcome the endings in your life, you may find that the feeling of emptiness that initially felt uncomfortable turns into a sense of inner spaciousness that is deeply peaceful.”

After reading the above passage, I realized that all 3 movies I had watched were about authors. Then on Sunday I attended a ConneXion workshop at which we did a writing exercise.

I began with these words – “Let go. Know that you don’t need to know the how before beginning. When self-confidence is lacking or you give in to fear, the consequences will be un-lovely. It is time to write more, share more, reveal more, reveal the real you, it matters not if what you write is fiction or non-fiction. And then I wrote the above.

I sat in a shaded area with a view of the mountain, closed my eyes, centered in my heart, and asked what to write ….

Heartfuly Inspired™,
Camilla xoxo
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

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Pictures from the workshop:


Latest News: Trust Your Self

I was searching on the iMac for a drawing of Lillian’s that she created in 2012 titled “Hot Air Balloon”. I searched 3 times and the only item that came up was a Pages document titled “My New Life”. Opened it up, read a little section, and thought it was one of these documents that comes pre-programmed with a sample story. I was also thinking, “Wish I had time to read more of that. It sounds good!” Closed, searched again, and the same document came up once again. Opened it, read more and realized it’s something I had written in 2008!

Here’s what grabbed my attention the first time around:

Monday, July 14, 2008

I have since realized regarding the above that I was not merely looking for my keys. I was looking for my faith. That’s why I was so determined to find those keys and why my prayers were answered. When I found those keys I found my faith that everything will be okay and reinforced that I will NEVER GIVE UP.

The reason I initially thought it was a pre programmed story is that it still had the latin heading with a stock photo of 2 women:

Eodem modo typi nunc

Lectorum diam metus, lobortis eget, tincidunt egdb tristique, porta id, felisauris vulputate blandituth nibhroin id ante. Nam massa justo gravida aliquet commodo nontincidunt nibhroin idante.

Once I realized it was my writing, I simply had to go back and read “the above”.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Went with ____ to take Thomas and Lillian to Lake Tahoe to see boats and throw rocks.  Thomas and Lillian were having so much fun & so joyful to be seeing all the boats and throwing rocks and seeing the parasail and airplanes.  Thomas was chattering excitedly the entire time.  I lost the keys to the car in the sand and was determined to find them.

We looked for about 20 minutes and called mom and Frank to bring the extra set. Kept looking more and then ______ took Thomas and Lillian to a nearby restaurant as they had gotten tired and hot. I was going to look one more time.

I was tired, hungry and hot and every time I stood up from kneeling; everything went black for a minute. The rocks were burning my hands and digging into my knees. I was praying for help to find the keys saying that I deserved to find the keys and I was ready to accept help now.

Right about then a couple came up near me with their dog. They laid out their blanket and the woman was going to walk with the dog. She stopped to ask if I had lost something. I explained to her and that if they found a set of keys to take them to the restaurant. We talked some more about it and I got to where I had previously determined to stop. Then the husband asked about it. He was standing in front of me next to the water, looked down, picked up the keys and handed them to me. I gave him a hug, thanked them very much and said they were meant to be there at that very moment! Whew! I was so grateful that I could have popped.

(I had the feeling I wasn’t going to find them until ______ was gone because he kept saying he didn’t think they were there and he had already looked there. I knew it would have to be after he left that they were found.)

It wasn’t just about finding the car keys back in 2008 and it wasn’t just about finding Lillian’s drawing a few days ago. This was a divine reminder to trust my inner Self.

Trust Your Self. You know …

Lillian's Piece Titled Hot Air Balloon

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Emotions: Feel It

Ever had haunting thoughts that you missed something; that you had all these clues and didn’t put them together? Those thoughts that sweep over you and wrap around you like a dark storm cloud? I share this for anyone who needs it.

These words are like landmarks on a map. Landmarks that lead to a deep peace. The words are doing their work if they bring peace to anyone whose eyes and heart they touch.

Recently I had thoughts that I let something slip through the cracks back in 2006 concerning my daughter*, Lillian. In the midst of some huge life changes** I simply “forgot” something. As I began researching, a heavy feeling came over me. Heavy, dark, and sad, with the feeling I had done something wrong.

Thomas, my son, and Lillian could both sense something was wrong so I went to my room to change clothes. While there I burst into tears and cried with thoughts of how with this one piece of the Lillian puzzle I was right back where I was in 2006. I began to feel guilty and then like a victim and then angry ….. And …..

Then I chose to connect with these feelings. I breathed them in. I didn’t think about why I felt this way. I focused on the way it felt in my body. Heavy and tight. Within minutes the feeling lifted and I was in a peaceful, quiet state.

I realized that for whatever reason, the timing was not right for this path in 2006. I chose not to dwell on why or what if questions. This is now and that doesn’t exist any longer. Something that I would have let carry on for days or weeks in the past (or buried and ignored) was now learned from, felt and processed in half an hour.

Now, I embrace all emotions. They are me. They are us. My thoughts had changed. My perception had changed. I saw it differently. I had just experienced a miracle.

May you let yourself feel what you need to feel, connect with it and have your own miracle today! If you need guidance let me know. So much love to y’all!

Heartfuly Inspired™,
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

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*Lillian is 13 years old and has a chromosome abnormality called 18p-; which means that she is missing a part of the short arm of chromosome #18. Learn more here.

**I separated from my husband in December 2006 and we were divorced in 2007.

You can learn more about this and my journey up through 2010 in the book, “D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance.”