Tag Archives: special needs parenting

Your Intuition Knows What To Write

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“Your intuition knows what to write, so get out of the way.” – Ray Bradbury

I was given the wonderful opportunity to guest post on 2 Dream Productions’ blog about why I write and what led to the writing of my first book, “D iz for Different”.

Here’s an excerpt:

“How Purging the Garage Led to Writing a Book

Call it intuition. Call it my gut. Whatever it’s called, there is something inside of me compelling me to write. Sometimes gently, other times strongly, it nudges me saying, “You’ve just got to share that.” I fought this feeling for a long time, thinking I had nothing meaningful to contribute. At this point in my life, I know that the treasure lying within me, the one I am to share with humanity, is my view of everyday life. I most often share this through writing.

Sometimes I question myself with thoughts of, “What are you doing? Why are you wasting time on this? Who cares what you think? Who cares what happened with you today?” These thoughts can be very discouraging and cause me to doubt myself. However, time and time again, I magically and miraculously receive confirmation that what I’m doing and the path I have chosen is inspiring and helpful to others. These powerful, undeniable moments cause my fears and hesitation to disappear.

My writing journey started …. ” (Go here to read more.)

Head on over and check out 2 Dream Productions if you are an author or aspiring author!

2 Dream Productions, Inc. is a book publicist company that specializes in working with authors and publishers to get more publicity for their books, brands and products. 

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

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F is for Flexibility

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(Excerpt from my book, “D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance” – published 2012)

Flexibility, fun and faith . . . that’s a trio I definitely want in my life!

There are times in our lives when fun does not fit in with what’s going on! It’s not possible to always have fun, or find the joy in every situation. However, it is possible to be at peace with the experiences life deals us. To be at peace is to be in a state of acceptance, and be present and attentive in the here and now. Once we have achieved the place of acceptance it is easier to see the joy, humor, and fun in the everyday happenings of life, and ultimately have faith.

With each passing day acceptance becomes easier. I am more attentive and present when Thomas and Lillian are talking to me. I am really listening to what they are saying. Sometimes, I must admit, it is just plain funny! One morning Thomas, Lillian and I had a conversation that each of them are actually aliens from Planet Mercury. They told me they are just here visiting and will have to go back home soon. We had a thirty minute conversation about their home planet. I told them I would miss them so very much when they go back home. They said they would miss me too. After breakfast they began packing for their return voyage back to Mercury. Not your typical Saturday morning breakfast, but we had tons of fun using our imaginations. I choose to stimulate their imaginations instead of discounting what they say. Being able to call upon their imagination is a skill I want them never to lose.

As often as possible, I attempt to create an adventure out of as many minutes, hours and days that I can. It may sound like a lot of work, but really, it doesn’t have to be. Adventure is what one makes it. If we remind ourselves to be flexible and think simplistically, it isn’t hard at all to create adventures. I find great fun in turning a simple task or event (something we are already doing), into an adventure.

Something as simple as going to the library can be made into an adventure by having a scavenger hunt for certain types of books. One day, I had Thomas and Lillian make a list of about five places or things they wanted to see, or find. We had a great time driving around all day to parks and stores finding the items on their lists. We didn’t buy anything, but I marked their success by taking a photo of them in front of the place, or with the item they found (you can see some in the photo gallery).

Being flexible decreases stress, and allows us opportunities to be creative. Flexibility also serves us in releasing our attachment to rigid expectations. When we choose to be flexible rather than rigid, it is much easier to accept change when situations do not turn out as we may have planned.

Flexibility is a characteristic that serves me well as a parent, definitely as a mom to a child with special needs, and in life in general. I am sorry to say that the old Camilla was not a very flexible person. Things had to be done my way, or someone was going to pay! I cringe when I think about how rigid, and inflexible I used to be.

The awakened Camilla has learned the wonderful quality of being flexible. To some, it may seem like indifference when I shrug my shoulders, or turn the other cheek, but through practice, I have learned to be okay with whatever happens.

F is for Fear

I could not let this chapter be complete without mentioning fear. Fear is something that every parent experiences. In fact, everyone has fears. Parents of children with special needs have an entirely different set of fears, and then some, compared to parents of kids who develop typically. Fear is one of the stages we move through when we first learn of our child’s diagnosis. These fears can get the better of us if we are not managing our thoughts in the present moment. For instance, we may take one little comment from a doctor, nurse, parent, or friend, and let our mind run away with it. We fabricate in our mind what the future would be like; what about the next time …next week…next year…from now to when our time here is over? I am not saying we shouldn’t make plans for our family’s future. Make those plans, get everything lined-up, and set in the best way for your child with special needs and their siblings. Just remember not to always play out future events (school, friends, sports, marriage etc.) in your mind.

Learning to have faith in myself, and the decisions I make has absolutely helped me along this journey. Even though I still experience moments, days, and even weeks, when my faith in myself gets weak, I never ever fully lose sight of it. Having a rock solid faith in ourselves, is the foundation for the journey we are traveling.

Tip for the Journey:

Learning to be flexible comes with patience and practice. Choose one situation a week to be flexible about. Then take it to one situation per day. Each morning when you wake up, say to yourself with love and joy, “I choose to be flexible today.”

Developing the habit of having consistent, strong faith in yourself and your choices will only come with time and practice. To battle being your own worst critic, put sticky notes on your mirror, in your purse, in your car, and wherever else you need them, with reminders that you are amazing, you are perfect the way you are, to have faith in yourself, trust your path and trust your intuition. Choose whatever phrases or quotes are meaningful to you and put those on the sticky notes also. It can be hard to keep faith in ourselves; but the more we practice being kind, the quicker we will pull ourselves out of those times when we lose the faith.

Heartfuly Inspired,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

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My Journey With Intellectual Disability and Relationships – A Short Memoir

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The article I contributed to Interaction, which is a multidisciplinary journal for the Australian Institute On Intellectual Disability, has just been published. Here’s a brief description of what and why I was asked to contribute: “looking at creativity in how we work and interact with people with intellectual disability. The other theme I am interested in exploring is empathy and how this “works” within our relationship building within intellectual disability”

Excerpt from the article:

“One blood test, one phone call, one moment in time, drastically changed the direction of my life forever. I know more about genetics, chromosomes, DNA, motor skills, verbal skills, and now emotional and behavioural issues than I ever thought I would need or want to know. ……. I thought I had life pretty much planned at that point and for a while this brief phone call seemed to have caused my life to break apart like a melting iceberg with pieces scattering here and there. Looking back now, all that was brought into my life, all that occurred, all that began, and all that ended were meant to happen for my own growth and enlightenment. An enlightenment I feel spreads far beyond myself and my family as I believe we are all connected.”

Click here to read the digital version of the journal. The access code is: K9HqOa

My article is on page 30. However, the entire journal is excellent! You’ll need a chunk of time to read it as it’s short story length at around 4,000 words.

I encourage anyone who is moved to subscribe to this wonderful publication to do so! Enjoy and please feel free to share and/or forward to anyone you think would benefit! With oceans of love … xoxo

PDF version: Interaction Volume 28 Issue 4

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

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Emotions: Embrace the Emptiness

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View During the Writing Exercise

The below is a brief glimpse of a moment in time was inspired by Eckert Tolle’s book, Stillness Speaks (amazon affiliate link) and the author’s participation in an experential outdoor workshop centered on connecting with one self.

The day had finally arrived. Her day of respite; a day to herself to do with as she pleased. She looked forward to these days with the anticipation of a child as her birthday approaches.

She is a single mom, raising two kids. One creative, artistic, writer child who is a 13 year old girl with a genetic abnormality and a wise old soul masquerading as a 9 year old boy who has a difficult time BEing still and whose intellectual abilities are at the level of a 13 or 14 year old. On this day of respite the kids were to have a sleepover with their grandparents.

On Saturday morning as they said their goodbyes and the van drove out of sight, she felt an emptiness engulf her like a dark stormy cloud darkens the brightest of days. With heavy legs and heart she slowly walked inside feeling lonely and sad.

Why was this? A day to herself was supposed to be a day to rejoice, enjoy freedom from responsibilities, and take pleasure in time alone. Could these feelings be arising because she is purging and packing? During this time of “purge and pack” she is re-discovering treasures of cards, drawings, and creations from her beloved children. And in the process she is reminded of the meaningful lessons and simple adventures she has enjoyed with them.

Perhaps she is mourning the death of each of those experiences and feeling the emptiness that envelops one when any life experience comes to an end. Perhaps she is also mourning the end of another chapter with her kids as they pack and prepare to move.

In moments of reflection and little messages received throughout the day, she realized that she had never let herself grieve over the cooling of friendships a couple of years ago. She had been reminded of those friendships the day before and the reminder scratched a wound that had never healed. Perhaps this was the exact moment to grieve for those friendships and that’s what she let herself do. For her, the lesson is to be with and accept the emptiness that feels so heavy.

For her, the way through the darkness is to feel it; really feel what it feels like in the body and breath it into her heart so that the darkness can be transformed into light, spaciousness, gratitude and joy for the experience having happened in the first place.

Now she understands. When feelings like this arise, she is to BE still, BE quiet, and experience it so that she can gift herself deep peace for she knows her true self is peace and love. Instead of resisting the feeling, she now chooses to welcome that dark stormy cloud for she knows that within the core of the stormy cloud is pure love and beauty.

BE still, BE quiet … and Let GO to LOVE … xoxo

Author’s Note: I was inspired to share this from a third person point of view. I don’t think I’ve ever done that before, so hope you like it.

I decided to spend this day of respite at home watching movies as it would be a while before I would have “home” all to myself. I watched Miss Potter, Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont, and Magic of Belle Isle (amazon affiliate links) and ate hot buttered popcorn with raspberry lime sparkling water. It was heavenly!

During the triple feature a theme kept repeating of sharing information with others, writing, grieving, and friendship. The next morning, I still had the lonely, empty feeling. I picked up “Stillness Speaks” and said a little prayer that I turn to the exact page I needed at this moment. I opened to page 107; which states, “If you can learn to accept and even welcome the endings in your life, you may find that the feeling of emptiness that initially felt uncomfortable turns into a sense of inner spaciousness that is deeply peaceful.”

After reading the above passage, I realized that all 3 movies I had watched were about authors. Then on Sunday I attended a ConneXion workshop at which we did a writing exercise.

I began with these words – “Let go. Know that you don’t need to know the how before beginning. When self-confidence is lacking or you give in to fear, the consequences will be un-lovely. It is time to write more, share more, reveal more, reveal the real you, it matters not if what you write is fiction or non-fiction. And then I wrote the above.

I sat in a shaded area with a view of the mountain, closed my eyes, centered in my heart, and asked what to write ….

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Heartfuly Inspired™,
Camilla xoxo
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

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Beautifully Written: D iz for Different Amazon Review

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★★★★ Amazing book! Insightful, humorous, kind, open-hearted, and worth reading more than once! As a parent of a special needs child, this book gave me some alternative methods in detailing with my child on a daily basis, as well as encouraged me to add more laughter into my life. I know we all need that:-) I would highly recommend this book! –Maria Kendzierski, January 26, 2013

If you would like to write an Amazon review of D iz for Different go here (amazon affiliate link). It’s not necessary to have purchased the book through Amazon. If you have an Amazon account, you can write a review.

Fantastic: D iz for Different Amazon Review

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(D.J. and Diana with their copies of D iz for Different)

★★★★★ Get ready to change your mind! D iz for Different not only addresses how to accept the things you cannot change, but how to become aware of and embrace the joy and beauty every day and in everyone. Oh…if you can’t find it…Camilla will show you how to create it!

Camilla continues to take each day as it comes and make the most of it and everyone she meets. Read her journey and tips…her life was not always this way. Everyone can benefit. I recommend this book highly. – Diana Michelotti, May 25, 2013

If you would like to write an Amazon review of D iz for Different go here (amazon affiliate link). It’s not necessary to have purchased the book through Amazon. If you have an Amazon account, you can write a review.

Opportunism: D iz for Different Amazon Review

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(Wade and I having coffee after he read the book. He sent a text telling me he’d read the book and wanted to meet for coffee to discuss it. I LOVED that y’all!) 

★★★★★ Opportunism is generally regarded as a derogatory term that refers to people who will do anything for themselves. They have no core values beyond promoting their own needs. They contribute nothing to society.

In fact, opportunism is a great art that has been studied and practiced by many. Opportunism is a belief system that is eminently positive and powerful. It is a philosophy that says every event occurs for a reason and that it is within your capacity to see this reason as positive. When you complain and rail against circumstances, you fall out of balance with the the natural state of things; you wish things were D-i-f-f-e-r-e-n-t. What Camilla has done is to embrace Different to the point that she sees it as an Opportunity to the point where it can be likened to a fire that consumes everything in its path – ALL cirumstances become consumed in her mental heat and converted into O-p-p-o-r-t-u-n-i-t-i-e-s. Any man or woman who believes this cannot be hurt by anything or anyone. The age of the individual is NOT over – but needed now more than ever. Good Job Camilla and thanks for leaving a trail at a time when so many have come to rely on Hope as a Strategy for moving forward. Thanks for being You! – Wade Hodges – May 28, 2013

If you would like to write an Amazon review of D iz for Different go here (amazon affiliate link). It’s not necessary to have purchased the book through Amazon. If you have an Amazon account, you can write a review.

D iz for Different – Best Seller

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“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” -Albert Schweitzer

The screen shot above is the Gratitude List from page 2 and 3 of “D iz for Different“. During the books Kindle debut from April 28, 2013 – April 30, 2013, the book had about 2,500 downloads and reached #1 Best Seller in Special Needs Parenting and #2 Best Seller in Self Help Motivational on Amazon.

I am overflowing with gratitude for everyone who helped make this happen. All involved donated their time and services to help make this book a reality and all of YOU have helped spread the word. I deeply thank all y’all for helping me live my purpose, share my story and help others to see things differently.

The book is not only for those parenting someone with special needs, it’s for anyone who is struggling with acceptance, needs to align with the courage within, and/or someone struggling to see the gift in a situation. Thanks from the depths of my soul y’all!  All my love. ♥

Special Needs Book Review Interview: Hope and Guidance

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Hope and Guidance to Parents of Children with Special Needs: Interview with Camilla Downs

Since her book’s publication, Camilla Downs has undergone her own professional transformation with a career change from social media consultant to special needs parent coach and mentor, offering hope and guidance to others parenting kids with special needs. Congratulations Camilla on all your achievements! Thank you so much for introducing your book, D iz for Different: One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance in a guest post you can find here. I am looking forward to learning more about Camilla Downs and her next book in this post for our Author Interview Series.

Lorna: When asked what is your book, D iz for Different: One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance about? What do you answer?

>> Camilla Downs >> In general this is a self-help book for anyone looking to reach acceptance of themselves, those needing to dig down deep for the courage within themselves, or someone looking for guidance on finding the gift in a situation or event. Specifically, this is a book for parents of children with special needs to reassure them that they are not alone and to encourage and inspire them. Each chapter is a letter of the alphabet and each chapter concludes with a Tip for the Journey. Read the entire interview by clicking here.

Thanks Lorna d’Entremont for the pleasure of having you interview me!!

Renown Scribbles Guest Post – 8 Tips to Smooth the Special Needs Parenting Journey

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This Special Needs Parenting Journey is going to be full of up and down moments. I’ve put together a few tips in the hopes that you find a thing or two that will help smooth this journey. I realize these may not be helpful directly in the midst of a “down” moment. I suggest you put these aside and focus on them when you are having an “up” moment. Or, at least a calm moment in between the ups and downs ….. Click here to read the entire article.