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About Me – Camilla – August 2024

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Camilla – Summer 2024

I’ve joined Medium! In doing so, I created an up to date About me. Thought I would share it here, too. If you’re on Medium, let’s connect there!

My name is Camilla Downs (pronounced like Pamela, but with a “C”), and I’m mom to Lillian Darnell and Thomas Darnell, who are now adults. I have single-parented them and advocated for them from the time they were 1-year-old and 5-years-old. We are a neurospicy trio, with all of us being neurodivergent in one way or another.

I’m late diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety, and OCD. I am a bestselling author, indie publisher, writer, poet, and prior to becoming a mom, I enjoyed a career as a paralegal, working at The Pierce County Prosecutor’s Office — Civil Division in Tacoma, Washington. I’m also a late bloomer with coming out as bisexual; pansexual to be more specific (thanks to my kids).

Currently, I am a Project Leader and Family Navigator, having been with Family Navigation Network since February 2022. Family Navigation Network is a project of Nevada Center for Excellence in Disabilities, which operates within the University of Nevada, Reno.

I consider myself to be a master improviser and problem solver. I can access a situation, nail down the tasks, take action, and get results. I live in Northern Nevada in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains with gorgeous Lake Tahoe nearby.

A photo of Lake Tahoe taken from a distance (Hwy 431), with a blue sky and a tree in the right hand side of the photo.

Lake Tahoe — Taken by me 2024

My daughter Lillian has 18p-, being diagnosed when she was 3 years old after the pediatrician suggested genetic testing, due to Lillian being behind in more than three areas of development. The pediatrician called me as soon as she got the results, letting me know over the phone, rather than postponing until we could get in to see her.

After pulling myself together, I found the Chromosome 18 Registry that night while searching online. This was before facebook, and social media groups, and I joined The Registry shortly thereafter. I spent time observing the conversations in the Yahoo listserv before jumping in, introducing myself, and asking questions.

Writing has been a sanity saving bridge that has led to peace and solutions. Single parenting two children, losing nearly everything, and choosing to dig deep within, led me on a journey for which I had no map. Through writing, I created the map as I traveled this wild, at times unlovely and uncomfortable, life journey.

Writing led me to acceptance of myself and my role as a parent to my two unique and beautiful children. Writing brought solid steps to take with decisions. In some situations, writing was not the only factor; yet, it has been a shining thread of grace that connected my heart and mind along this life journey. And still is.

I wrote the first poem in January 2013. I still remember how wild it felt having these words populate my mind and how compelled I felt to free them. It was the beginning of the alchemy. Alchemy which continues to this day. My book published in 2019, Words of Alchemy, is a free-verse poetry memoir of six years of my life.

Poems have not been the only style of writings throughout the past thirteen years. My first book published in 2012, D iz for Different — One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance, is a memoir of experiences and acceptance up to that point in time. After the publication, writings seemed to ebb and flow between life narratives and poetry.

Writing is my witness, my soul song. Writing is my therapist, my medicine, my best friend, my parent, and my advisor. This is not to say that writing replaces any of these roles, it simply enhances them.

Writing alchemizes what I experience. My laptop becomes the couch I rest upon; while writing my experiences becomes the therapist. This helps me to synchronize with life, giving myself feedback for these experiences. Writing becomes an avenue to connect with and release the myriad of emotions and experiences of life.

It is through writing that I find myself. It is through writing that I allow myself to physically feel emotions. It is through writing that I connect with the unlovely events of the past buried in my body on a cellular level. It is through writing that I allow myself to feel what I dared not feel beginning at some point in childhood, through to adulthood. It is through writing that past and present events are alchemized and released.

I look forward to vibing with you. Just to let you know, my older writings are incredibly tame, nature centric, with no foul language. My writings from 2020 to current are wild, bold, raw, and laced with cussing. My writings mirror where I am in this journey, and the current phase of Camilla that shines.

A family of five. A smiling mom in the front, with her oldest smiling daughter to her right, two smiling grandparents behind them, and the mom’s youngest child, smiling in the back.

Me and my two kids, Thomas and Lillian, and my mom and dad — May 2024

If you’re on Medium, let’s connect –

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Get to Know Me: What Weird or Useless Talent Do You Have?

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I’m a member of an author/book reader facebook group, and the admins ask great questions. I decided to turn some of the questions into a “get to know me” series. I would also love to hear your answers to the questions posed in the series. Thanks Helen for asking such fun questions!

Before sharing this with writer’s facebook group mentioned above, I had NEVER shared this with anyone other than my two kids. Vulnerable post upcoming …

When they were very young, 2 years old and 5 years old (now 19 and 15), we didn’t have the money for anything other than the necessities.

I was always on the lookout for ways to help us laugh. So … I began to speak gibberish and entire sentences whenever I belched. They thought that was the best, and funniest thing in the world. It became a habit. I still do it to this day. I call my daughter the burp whisperer as she translates what I say. Good lord, help me! 🤪😂🤣 Maybe it’s a good thing I don’t have a partner. 😂🤣

Within the facebook group, someone commented how much they appreciated and liked what I shared. I replied:

Here I was thinking I’d become famous for my eloquent words or beautiful photography. Alas, the universe works in mysterious ways. “Here lies Camilla Downs. Sure, she was an author, loving mom, and spreader of loving kindness. Yet, she was famous for her unique ability to belch gibberish, words, and entire sentences. We will miss her and her belching talents.”

I love sharing, being authentic. Sometimes the things we think will turn people away from us, are the things that turn people towards us. Life’s funny, isn’t it? Sending you hugs, not belches.

What about you? What weird or useless talent do you have?


(2015 Team TLC)

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.

Amazing news! My 19 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here. 

Wonderfully exciting news! My 15 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Why I Write

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Bench at Vintage Lake February 2016

I feel it is my purpose to openly share my own life experiences with others. I freely explain and share lessons I’ve learned and practices I use that work for me and my family. If needed, I listen with love and compassion and intuitively share thoughts and examples from my own life.

I write about connecting with nature, parenting, mindful living, simplicity, gratitude, and emotions. Plus, I like to write and share poetry too!

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I feel if we practice the following we will heal ourself and the world’s children will continue to have the self-love they are born with, to feel secure, to feel loved, to feel successful, and free to be who they are ……. LOVE.

  • truly love ourself and model that love
  • practice mindfulness in our own realm and lovingly share mindfulness with our kids
  • learn emotional connection and model and teach it to our kids
  • spend time connecting with nature and model this for our kids
  • practice gratitude and model and teach it to our kids

There is something inside of me that won’t let me not write. Something that gently nudges and says, “You’ve just got to share that.”

My instinct, my gut, whatever you want to call it – that’s what I’m talking about. I fought this feeling for a while. I didn’t think I had anything meaningful to contribute and wondered why anyone would care what I thought or had to say.

I feel my journey is supposed to be shared with others to inspire, give hope and to help create a shift. Another reason I feel compelled is to share the message that one’s view of life is what creates the life one experiences.

Writing and sharing snippets through social media is also healing and a way of shedding what no longer serves. When I write I can hardly contain the emotions I feel inside. The emotions are as hot as lava and as sweet as honeysuckle – from the pit of my belly all the way up to my throat. I am, indeed, compelled to share my experiences.

Each time that “little voice” inside me says “What are you doing? Why are you wasting time on this? This will not make you money!”; I begin to get discouraged. Then I receive confirmation from those around me that what I’m doing and the path I have chosen is inspiring and helpful.

Why Does It Matter?

I get feedback from others verbally, through email and facebook that I encourage and motivate them. I feel it is the World saying to me, “You see, this is why you are to share your life.”

I would continue this sharing journey even if I didn’t receive these messages. For, I know it is what I am to supposed to do. This is my unique way of sharing my given talents. When we share, in the way that only we can, we bless humanity.

I no longer question when I get a flash of inspiration or a gut feeling to share something. I have reached complete acceptance and have full faith in this little adventure I’m on with Team TLC.

As long as one person or one family has been positively influenced by my writing and sharing, I have accomplished what I feel I was meant to do. The reason I say this is because I believe it doesn’t end with that one person. It creates a positive ripple effect that spreads like the ripple created from a rock thrown in water … it keeps on keepin on spreading loving-kindness!

My hope is that you connect with, physically feel, and release worry, fear and guilt. Trust your intuition when you are being pulled in a certain direction …. EVEN if you don’t know the why or how …. and begin your own Journey to Acceptance …

I help to support my family with my writings. I share my writings for free for the benefit of others. If you benefited from this writing, would you like to toss a tip in the love offering “bucket”? Oceans of gratitude … xoxo

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Did you know I wrote a book? It’s titled “D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance” and you can read more about it here.

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