The Banned Heart
Prompt: If you could buy a new heart, what kind would you buy?
Image captured by Camilla Downs
If I could buy a new heart
I’d return to my childhood
I’d buy a heart
that was not emotionally neglected
as a child and a teen
I’d buy a heart that knew she was enough
A heart that understood she was unconditionally loved
by the adults around her
I’d buy a heart that knew in her coming-of-age years
that she could love and be attracted to whoever she was attracted to
No matter what body parts they have or don’t have
No matter what their skin color or nationality
a heart that knew and understood that love, that sexuality, is a spectrum
with the knowing that this is a beautiful aspect of being human
I’d buy a heart that wasn’t raised
in an environment of living life a certain way
just because that’s the way it has always been lived
I’d buy a heart that knew she could burn all that shit down
A heart that understood she didn’t have to mask
She didn’t have to hide her true self
She didn’t have to be less than for the comfort of others
I’d buy a heart of mirrored glass
That reflected the divine love
that is inherently ours
A mirrored heart
That let others know they are loved
They are worthy
They belong
They are free to be themselves
I’d buy a heart that now knows
Why some amongst us want to ban books
Books that enlighten us
That help us to be our true selves
Books that show us we aren’t wrong for not conforming
Books that help us to know we aren’t flawed
for the way we feel or don’t feel
I’d buy a heart that knew she was worthy
of respect and love
a heart that knew she deserves
Exactly what and who she wanted
I’d buy a heart that understood she
Did not have to settle
A heart that knew she did not
Have to help others reach their potential
While draining her energy
I’d buy a heart that claimed her uniqueness
Her beauty, her authenticity, from a young age
Sprinkling that shit wherever she went
For it to marinate with the fertilizer shed
by the broken hearted, the emotionally abused
blossoming into unconditional love, and worthiness
to be claimed as they free their burdened hearts
I’d buy a heart that
Is the portal to freedom
I’d buy the heart that has taken me decades to cultivate
the heart that has repeatedly been through hell and back,
the heart that is tenacious, loving, empathetic, fierce
the heart that beats quicker and quicker
within my chest as I write these words
That heart
That’s the heart I’d buy.
©Camilla Downs, 2024
This poem was shared on Medium in August 2024. There will be a delay in posting poetry on my blog as paid Medium subscribers get first reads. You can connect with me on Medium here. There is a free version.