July 21 2024

“I am an ocean of emotions but I taught myself to swim.” Louise Kaufman

Crying in the sunshine

I am an ocean of emotions
So I taught myself to swim
For the moments when I have the fortitude
Swimming through the varying
Degrees of emotions

I am an ocean of emotions
So I bought myself a float
For the moments when my strength is depleted
I drift through the emotions
As they ebb and flow

I am an ocean of emotions
So I taught myself to surf
The surfboard my grit
As I slice my way
Through the waves of emotions

I am an ocean of emotions
So I bought myself a life preserver
For the moments
I feel I no longer have the strength
To continue

I am an ocean of emotions
So I befriended the
Ocean creatures
They listening when no one else
Would or could

I am an ocean of emotions
So I transformed
The salty water into
The healing ointment for my wounds

I am an ocean of emotions
So I devoured
Her sands to cleanse
The sadness of perceived rejection
Birthed from past trauma

I am an ocean of emotions
Flowing in and out
The ocean, her creatures
teaching me
It’s do or die

The ocean guiding
Me to release the pressure
Guiding me to know
That how others respond to me
How others perceive me
Ain’t got shit to do with me

The ocean reminding me
That I’m still learning
That I’ll always be learning
To walk as myself
To live as myself
To know myself
To love me

The ocean teaching
Me how to be awake
Knowing that when
I’m awake
I am alive
That when I am alive
I am Fucking FREE
Camilla Downs, 2024