That moment when your six year old son finally understands all the things you have been telling him about happiness … That moment when …. that moment when time stands still …. That moment is when you acknowledge to yourself that YOU are the one that helped him understand and to turn his thoughts around.
For the past few weeks Thomas has been struggling in school. He loves the school, loves the playground and generally liked being there. But, every morning for the past few weeks he’s been unhappy with going to school. Says he doesn’t want to go, there’s nothing to do, it’s no fun, so and so isn’t being kind to him, the teacher won’t answer his questions. After I did some investigation, listening and chatting with the teacher, I came to the conclusion that this was coming from Thomas’ thinking. He had decided to be unhappy with his lessons in school, unhappy being there … just unhappy about the whole thing. He kept saying he was unhappy and it was no fun. I have been kindly and gently discussing with him that the way he is thinking about his day before he even gets there is why he is not happy. He is putting off an unhappy energy and being grumpy. I told him it is his choice whether he has a good day or a bad day at school.
Before I dropped him off this morning he told me that yesterday, he was happy and kind with everyone in his classroom. He said, that’s how it works right? When we are happy and kind, the people around us are too. I told him “You got that right!”. It starts with YOU first. Once we decide to be happy and be kind, it spreads to those around us and …… Then …. it comes back to us! I told him how proud I was of him for figuring it out!
This morning he got out of the car happy and smiling …. That moment when …. That moment when you are filled with so much joy that your eyes begin to sweat as your drive off …. That Moment!
Yesterday when I picked up Thomas he was happy and smiling and the teacher made a point to speak to me. She said, “Thomas has been really happy the past 2 days, he’s been participating more in class, choosing more responsibilities, and he even told me today, He likes school.” Choosing what one works on is the Montessori teaching method and he had been struggling with it a bit. I LOVE this as he is learning NOW while he is 6 yrs old how to make choices instead of when he’s 46 and the consequences for “not so good” choices can be much worse! Having said that, he did take one step back today. However, I am still proud of him. Learning that we are in control of our own happiness and getting into the habit of remembering that is hard work …. which I also told him as I tucked him in tonight. I told him I was proud of him. Told him he was so lucky to be learning this now. I explained to him I’m 42 and still working on it … that I had began working on it about 14 years. Told him he’d be a pro at it by the time he was my age!! I tucked a Happy Young Man into bed tonight …..
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