Poetry: i’m not trying to be humble

me walking away after burning down the patriarchy

i’m not trying to be humble

it’s frightening how made-up our masks can be
give away our identity
dissolve into a system
not of our creation

not knowing who we are
quietly crumbling
voiceless
nameless
unseeable

the self-esteem
succumbs quickly
effortlessly in children

authenticity we are born with
replaced with layers of masks
gifted to us by family
by society
by media
by teachers
by parents
by friends
by lovers
by enemies

we receive these masks
attaching them to our essence
the weight of the masks from others
smothering the light
shining from our eyes
shining from our smiles

the neighbors yard
lush green grass
tidy flower beds
with no weeds

our yards
dead grass
dandelions decorating
the dry cracked earth
weeds have taken over

mistaken for something else
through the gaze of another
bodies that tell a fictional story

privileged messages surround
messages of their idea of beauty
messages of their idea of love
messages of their idea of relationships
messages rooted in isms and phobias
messages destroying the
childlike wonder
the childhood innocence of
knowing and seeing the bright beauty of the dandelion

the place
the space
we occupy
becoming one with the dandelion

standing alone at first
later being joined by
supportive
empathetic humans

connecting the dots
of our past experiences
as the foundation
for convergence with
our current experiences

the golden years dawn
one by one
shedding the masks
created by others

the self-esteem
resurrected
voiced
named
strong
determined
seen

deconstructing the binary
blowing that shit up
breaking apart the othering

assumptions made
that ain’t got shit to do with this

spread the word
tell everybody y’all
it’s the season of “so what”
it’s the season of rejecting humbleness
it’s the season of unmasking
happy halloween ya’ll!
-camilla Downs, 2024

Theme: What kind of monster would you be
Also inspired by Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye

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