Do I “Confirm” or Do I “Not Now”?

Facebook Friend Request

Facebook has changed the language when you receive a Friend Request to “Confirm” or “Not Now”.  What is the thought process that goes into sending a Friend Request to someone?

I use Facebook personally and also networking for my business and 501(c)3 Foundation.  I know some people who use it solely for personal reasons and some who use it solely for business reasons.  We’ve got a wide range of how and why people are using Facebook.

Since I use it for business and personal, I am “friends” with people whom I have never met.  Whenever I send a Friend Request to a person that I have never met, I ALWAYS include a message with the friend request letting them know how I know of them or mutual friends or just plain and simple why we should be facebook friends.  Actually, even if I know the person, I include a message.  I believe I’ve only sent out about 1% of request without a personal message included.  If I receive a Friend request from someone I don’t know, I always visit their profile to see whether or not we would be a good fit for becoming facebook friends.

I am curious why people send friend requests to people they don’t know without a personal message included.  Let’s take two scenarios – one to apply to the personal arena and one for business.  First, imagine you are at a wine or beer tasting or socializing over coffee or tea.  You are having a good time, laughing with friends, sharing stories and pictures.  Someone walks over to you and says, “Let’s be Friends”, Let me join your conversation, let me see your pictures; without introducing themselves or without any precursor to “Let’s Be Friends”.  Would you do that in person?  I wouldn’t.  If you wouldn’t do it in person, why do it online? Second, imagine you are at a networking event.  You are listening to what others have to say about themselves and their business, you’re exchanging business cards, you may be talking a bit about personal stuff.  Then, someones walks over and says, “Hi, my name is Jane Doe.  This is what I do and this is why you should buy from me or use my services.  Let me tell you some more about me.”  Would you do this?  I wouldn’t.  I know there are some who do this; but, this isn’t true networking.  True networking involves listening. True networking would be something like, “Hi, my name is Jane Doe.  I see  from your name tag that you do this or I overheard you say you do this, that or the other.”  “I would love to hear a bit more about that because __________ (so and so suggested we connect, I see your connected to so and so whom I do business with, etc).”

Why do (or not do) things online that you would not do (or do) in person?

What do you think?  Do you include a personal message with your Facebook friend requests?  What do you do with friend requests you receive from people you don’t personally know; especially the requests without a message?  I would love to hear your thoughts.  Thanks y’all!

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