July 12 2020
Amazing socially distanced hike around Spooner Lake, organized by Tahoe Herbivores. Walked a couple of miles, sat for lunch, and then another mile. Incredibly beautiful and peaceful. My first time here, so lots of photos.
Follow the link to see more beautiful photos …
The Beauty of Spooner Lake With an Art Showing of Clouds and Rare Purple
(from a recent walk at Scripts Wildlife Preserve – 2020)
I had mentioned in an earlier post that I would post an update with changes to where I focus my time.
In regards to MeetingtheAuthors.com, I will be posting less frequently. I absolutely love offering this venue to authors, and will continue to do so. I very much enjoy meeting authors and book bloggers around the globe. It’s deeply satisfying.
I had been posting two interviews a week, with either a Book Shelf, Meet the Book Blogger, or Friday with Friends post also. I’m taking it down to one interview per week, one Friday with Friends per month, one Meet the Book Blogger per month (or less if no book bloggers have returned responses to questions), with Book Shelf posts sporadically.
I’m notching down the amount of time spent on social media. For me that means facebook, twitter, and instagram. I will monitor each of them daily. However, I will only post and scroll through the feeds on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and half of Sunday.
I will continue to go for my beloved walks, taking photographs of nature, and try to have more day and overnight adventures with Thomas and Lillian (once we’re able to safely visit places.)
(A recent hike around Spooner Lake – 2020)
I am working on reassessing my personal goals, dreams, and how I want my life to look during my golden 50’s. I am working really hard at not feeling like I have to be giving to society in some way, shape, or form at all times, knowing that it is okay to just be.
This week and next I am working on a challenge from my friend, Leisa Peterson, author of the newly released book, The Mindful Millionaire. This challenge is helping me to think about generating money with what I love to do, using skills that I have and things I’ve already produced. I don’t typically like these kinds of challenges or classes, but I was moved to accept this one.
I absolutely want to write and publish more books. I’m pretty sure I won’t know what that looks like until later this year or early next year. In the mean time, I’ll continue to be open, listen to my intuition, my heart, and to take action when inspired, when it comes to adventuring and how to generate money.
I spent much time the week before last and beginning of this last week, researching and discussing with Thomas different schooling options. He’s been homeschooled for the last four years, and he wanted to try something different this year. Since this is his first year of high school, we needed to make sure he’s going to be covering what is needed for entering college if that’s the route he chooses.
His first day of his new schooling situation was Tuesday, the 18th. I think. HA! All the days run together these days. I still need to take a belated first day of school photo! 😜
He’s attending an online private school for this year. So far, for the future we are thinking that next year or the next, he’ll enter a dual credit situation where he finishes high school while also earning college credits. Things could change by then, but this is the plan for now.
He is absolutely loving it. It’s set up so that when he finishes a class, he can begin the next class, for the next grade right away. You do not have to spend an entire school year on the subject/class if you move through it quicker. We’ll see if he continues to enjoy it. He loves learning, and right now his favorite topic is World History. Once he finishes the 6 credits he’s taking now, we’ll look at the situation again.
Plus having conversations with Thomas about why his dad never calls him, as he contacts Lillian here and there. Doing my best to make sure he knows it has nothing to do with him, and everything to do with his dad, as he thinks his dad does not like him. Don’t get me wrong. I (mostly) don’t bad mouth his dad, yet it’s freakin’ breaking my heart.
I mean. He’s always had Thomas’s phone number. Lillian will text him to tell him Thomas is being mean to her, or whatever, and his response back is, that’s because he’s being raised by a single mother. He has no idea what an amazing and wonderful human Thomas is …. Last time I spoke to him, last December, I reminded him that he has Thomas’s phone number and to call or text him. His response was that he didn’t know what to say to him.
Also, working with Lillian to see where she would like to focus her energies, creating goals, and looking at possible classes that would be helpful for these. So far, it’s moving at the pace of a sloth … 😂😜🤣 … Here are a couple of photos of each of them on recent date days (I have a date day with each one of them once per month).
I will let all of this play out organically, not being rigid about any of it. That’s how I’m gonna roll with it … xoxo
PS – I wrote this on the 24th. During the challenge with Leisa today, the 25th, the guided meditation and a resource she provided helped me to know something about myself that I had never known. Blew my mind, brought sobs, and I feel so much better now than I had been feeling. Thank you, Leisa!!! xoxo
Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
“Words of Alchemy”, published December 2019, is a free-verse poetry memoir covering the last 6 years of my life. The poetry of nature, the poetry of healing, the poetry of appreciation, the poetry of love, in one beautiful book.
Amazing news! My 18 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here.
Wonderfully exciting news! My 14 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.
June 11 2020 Amazing walk this morning. So many herds of wild horses. The most I’ve seen, about 5 or 6 groups.
Look at this gorgeous place, less than a 15 minute drive from us … Scripts Wildlife Preserve. Breathtaking!
via Wild Herds of Amazing — Team TLC = Thomas, Lillian and Camilla
Sun Wishes
Went for a walk
Made a wish
Drew in a breath
Pursed my lips
Blew the wish
On waves of wind
To the loving
Embrace of the sun.
–©️2019 Camilla Downs
April 29 2019
It was the long walk today. What a beautiful walk it was. Light, free, joyful. Listened to the birdsong. Felt the warmth of the sun and the lovely breeze. Smelled lilacs. Tasted my true self. Sensed newness in my bones. What a beautiful walk it was.
More dandelion photos … I find them incredibly beautiful ….
And she walked.
And she walked.
She walked until
Arriving at
The home of
Peace and Joy.
Discovering once there,
She had been
Here all along.
I went for an hour long walk this morning. My body and mind did not want to go. I went anyway.
Just as a cool glass of water slakes my thirst on a scorching hot day, going for walks quenches the thirst of my soul and heart to know my true self, to heal, to release, to allow joy, and to be at peace. Walking guides me in the loving way to process life, to fulfill life, and to let life be.
For the past 18 years I have been going for walks. The meaning and depth of the walks have shifted throughout the years. What started as an activity simply to satisfy my desire to be active, bloomed into a walking practice. A practice to process healing, to release, to discover my authentic self, and to connect with nature.
Going for a walk at least three times a week has literally kept me going when I felt I could not carry on, and propelled me into bliss in times of joy. Each time I walk I have a different experience. At times, the walk overflows with peace and bliss and at other times, I’m ready to be done the second I begin. Those times are when I can’t seem to get out of my head. Worried about this, that, or the other; or lost in the past or distant future. Turning the worry over and over like one would a compost pile. Hoping a resolution will bloom from the compost pile of worry.
Most days the walking, along with nature as a helper, snaps me awake from tending the worry compost pile. My entire being melds with nature during these walks and reminds me what I already know. That the worrying only buries solutions deeper in the compost pile.
Going for walks and being amongst the trees, sun, clouds, grass, rocks, flowers, bushes, birds, wind, and weather nourish my heart and soul. Just as fruits and vegetables provide this body the nourishment it needs to continue; walking does this, and much more, for my heart and soul.
Going for walks is like being at an outdoor art gallery where nature changes the artwork every day, in fact every minute at times. Walking teaches the art of letting go of that which you find beautiful and meaningful. Walking teaches to quiet the mind, seize the moment, breathe and let soak in every morsel of beauty nature shares.
For the beauty nature displays while on a walk, is ever changing dependent upon the time of day, the season, whether clouds obstruct the sun, and whether it is near sunrise, midday, or sunset. Walking teaches the art of experiencing the continual changes of life as nature experiences the changing seasons.
Going for a walk opens the writer’s spigot and helps to flow the words of my heart and soul. I know it may seem I’m assigning much responsibility for these walks. In truth, my walking practice works in concert with a meditation and mindfulness practice, along with a writing practice. All of these practices to be held grounded by the practice of allowing myself to physically feel the emotions of life. This quintet of practices guides me in walking into the unlovely aspects of life and welcoming uncomfortable emotions.
I’ve been walking with my kids since they were infants. I cherish every single walk taken with them. They are 17 years old and 13 years old now. Once they were old enough for one to stay at home, I began going with each one of them for a walk once or twice per week and a walk as a family once or twice per week. I continued to have walks alone, one to three times per week. Now that they’ve gotten older, the walks with each of them has slowed a bit. Yet, it is my hope that I opened their eyes to the beauty and philosophy of walking.
When my daughter was seven years old and my son three years old; I discontinued paying for cable and eventually donated our television. Walking is one activity that took the place of time spent in front of the television. I was moved to incorporate picture making into the walks as well. I have thousands of photographs of our walks throughout the years.
Whenever my son or daughter had a tough day, I would be sure to have a walk with him or her after dinner. The three of us had many deep and meaningful conversations during these walks. Mixed with periods of silence to simply enjoy the beauty. Not to be left out, mixed with much fun and silliness also. Rolling down hills, playing with our shadows, catching leaves as they blow from the tree, hitting pine cones with sticks, running through sprinklers, playing in the mud, feeding the ducks, helping worms cross the sidewalk, and making nature photographs.
I was not only moved to photograph our family during these walks; I was moved to photograph nature herself. There are only a few occasions I’ve gone for a walk and not taken at least one photograph. These photographs helped to inspire poetry to flow forth from my heart. I had never read or written poetry up until about four years ago. This seemed to be an extension of the walking and other practices.
I fought myself on going for the walk this morning. It was 32 degrees outside and I was already cold. I wanted to get warm and cozy, sit and write this story. My heart knew the moment I stepped foot on the trail, I’d be grateful I listened to the call of the walk. May you be inspired to explore how walking could create a shift in your life; whether that be ever so small or ever so big.
©2019 Camilla Downs
(Photo made by me – 2016 – Geiger Way Lookout)
Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” was published January 2018. Learn more and order here.
Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.
Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo
The Path of the Heart
The path back home
seems littered with
suffering and struggle.
What is this insane
ability to cause
one self such suffering?
Suffering by way of the
thoughts that dart
here and there,
at times stabbing
the soul as if they
were a cold, sharp knife.
When one golden day
the tides of change
bring the knowing
that the path
is also littered
with Love.
A Love shining so
bright and clear, that
the suffering seems almost
not to have happened.
The path of Love
The path of suffering
The path of struggles
The path of Joy
The path of Harmony
The path of irritation
The path of guilt
The path of Peace
All the same path
The path that we each travel.
Made to seem different
by way of the degree of
suffering we cause our self.
Made to seem different
until that glorious day
that we each learn
to love our self and
to love one another through
everything that happens.
For the things that
happen will still be
there; yet, the perception
of each will shift
the more the one
love’s oneself through
the things.
The path of Love.
The path we all
shall arrive upon
one sweet day.
Oh, glory be.
We shall see.
©️2018 Camilla Downs
(Photo Credit: Me)
Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here.
Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.
Latest Articles:
[catlist name=blog]
Recently, I had the experience of one of my 40 minute meditation sessions feeling like it was only 5 minutes. I am always in awe when that happens. I find it incredibly magical … xoxo
Afterwards I wrote this; which will be the opening for my next book (Go here for information about my first book). Sharing this sneak peak with all of you … It’s still in rough draft status; yet, I was moved to share. Perhaps someone needs to see a word or two from this …
Walk with Me
Journey to the Center of My Soul
I had a choice to make.
I could choose not to even go near or open the door that would lead to the awakening of my true self. I could continue living life as I had been, seemingly happy and seemingly enjoying life.
Or I could choose to open that golden, larger than life door. The magical door that would lead the way to truly living life. A life of feeling all there is to feel – every single bit of it. A life of strapping into the gigantic see-saw of this path and riding my way through pain, despair, sadness, unhappiness, joy, peace, love, and bliss.
I did it. And I did it ever so gently. There was no transcendental moment with angels singing and everyone welcoming me. Well, maybe not in this dimension anyway.
I made the choice of the magical, golden door. So began the journey to the Center of my Soul.
Little did I know that once I entered through the door’s archway, and closed it behind me; that there would be no turning back. No matter how many times and how deeply I thought I wanted to turn back during this journey; I could not un-know what I was beginning to Know.
I strolled through that doorway thinking it would be easy and that I could control this the way I thought I controlled the rest of my life. Eventually, I learned that life is not something to be controlled. Living life is to let go and let it happen. Let go; yet take action when intuitively and heart inspired. Take action minus the need for controlling and minus attachment to the outcome.
This has been, and continues to be, a journey of opening my heart. A heart that closed as a very young child; perhaps even a heart that had been closed for many lifetimes. Every book I’ve read, movie I’ve watched, date day taken with my kids, every healer that I’ve worked with, and every walk taken has been in perfect timing to lead me to the next step of opening my heart.
I ultimately arrived at the place of knowing I was to love whatever comes into my experience. I haven’t always known what that meant. I thought I did. I did not understand how one is to “love” whatever is happening, or whatever one is feeling.
I now get that life is not here to fulfill me. I am here to fulfill life. There are absolutely days when I forget all of this. I’m still traveling this path. I fall back into old habits. Yet, the more I remember to love whatever is happening, the more my heart opens and the more I am able to share the One Love with all.
This also entailed letting go of my need to be bothered and to be upset by others and situations. Letting it go, by loving it as it came into my experience. This meant loving the un-lovely feelings that bubble forth during these times.
Loving the feelings absolutely does not mean to pour positivity over them and squish them back down to the place from which they came forth. It means simply, telling yourself over and over, “I love you”, to your own heart. And it means letting yourself physically feel these un-lovely feelings. It is truly amazing and life shifting to do this for oneself.
As a young girl my favorite and most loved fairy tale was the one where the down trodden princess was finally seen and loved for who she is by a dashing prince. And then this dashing prince whisks her away to her hearts delight wherein she lives life the way she chooses, forever in joy and peace and fun. I carried this with me into adulthood.
Now as I look back on this, I can see I was waiting for life to fulfill me. I see I was waiting for some “other” to see me, love me, tell me I am worthy, tell me they believe in me, and tell me they are sorry for wrongs done to me. And then for this other to place me in the perfect situation wherein I could control life and have experiences that would not take me out of my comfort zone.
Traveling this path of opening my heart, I have learned that we all need these words spoken to us by those closest to us and those not close to us alike. Yet, as importantly, we also need to speak these words to our self. Especially when we did not hear them as a child; or heard them very little during our young and tender years.
And, most especially when we are having unlovely experiences and feelings. That’s when we need it most. The more we do this for our self, the more our heart opens. And, the more our heart opens the more we come to realize that life’s journey is not about life fulfilling us. It is about us fulfilling life and sharing love in the way we came forth to share.
I invite you to walk with me through these pages. Walking, being in nature, and writing have been the magical ingredients for alchemizing experiences as I travel this path. Let’s go.
Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here.
Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.
Latest Articles:
[catlist name=blog]
And she walked.
And she walked.
She walked until
Arriving at
The home of
Peace and Joy.
Only to discover
This is where she had
Been all along.
–©️2018 Camilla Downs
Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here.
Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.
And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.
Latest Articles:
[catlist name=blog]
The Catalyst
This side. That side. Neither side holds the answer. That lies within.
….. from a recent walk …..
Thomas and I spent quite some time in this spot discussing things that were on his mind. Approaching from the other side was a group of wildly loud and profanity spewing kids ranging from a toddler to teenager.
They stopped to throw huge rocks at the geese and goslings. I could not sit idly by and observe this. I felt anger brewing, yet knew this not to be the answer as that must be all these kids know to be behaving in such a manner.
The Response
They dispersed from scaring the geese and goslings as I approached. Fortunately, none were injured. I do not remember the exact words that came forth. Yet, I channeled my inner Buddha and asked them to search for the love and kindness in their heart. And I pointed out that the geese are living beings and should not be treated in this way.
Some scattered. Some stood tall and laughed. Yet, if my calmness and non-threatening communication touched just one of them. Then, that’s one. They need a different way modeled. xoxo
As I attempted to fall asleep last night I mulled over and over how I could have handled this differently, perhaps more effectively, and even woke up thinking about it. I finally “woke up” and let it go knowing that I did the best I could do. xoxo
The Reflection
** I shared this on facebook and the following are further remarks from me sparked by other’s comments:
The older boys were expecting me to be harsh. They were so shocked with what I said that the oldest one’s mouth actually dropped open in disbelief!
I was filled with an odd mixture of anger and compassion for these young men. My thoughts were that they must be on the receiving end of MUCH unkindness from the adults around them and have not been shown the kindness and love that is in our hearts … and never shown that it is in their hearts too ….
What I had within me was an odd mixture of anger and compassion for the one’s mistreating the geese. It is my hope that the words and energy I shared were like a ripple created from a pebble thrown into the water. Maybe. Just maybe the ripple stuck with one of them ….
I had the opportunity to do this once again a few days later with the one who continues to think harshly of me and speak harshly of me to Lillian and Thomas. Anger, sadness, and confusion were the first response, yet I was able to transmute that after morning meditation and journal writing into compassion and knowing.
The Knowing
To Know with the Heart is to Know that their actions and words do not come from the True Self. They are from fear. It has been TWELVE years and still continues. I harbor no anger. Sadness and confusion at times, until I remember what I Know in my Heart.
Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here.
Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.
And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.
Latest Articles:
[catlist name=blog]
May 2018:
…. from a walk this morning …… Reflections. Cloudy and clear at the same time? Ahhhh. Such is it.
Don’t hold onto it. Let it roll right off your back.
Nature always has a perfect message for us when we stop, be quiet, and listen. I mean, look at those cute little water droplets. How could I not stop, take it in, and capture the moment? ….
This found me on a walk yesterday morning. Lots of goose quills around, yet have never seen two like this before.
I just had the chance to research online a bit and found that the quill of a goose has long been a preferred writing instrument. Apparently it awakens the imagination and intuition flows. The writer travels through time capturing stories of past, future and present.
I’ll take it! Time to write more. I’ll imagine my fingers are goose quills and that I’m writing like the wind as I type. My fingers and hand begin to hurt after about 5 minutes of handwriting so I just can’t do it.
….. from a walk this morning …. Nature. Magnified. Take pause. Zoom out and See the Whole. Simply beautiful. xoxo
There’s really not much I truly know. Yet. This. I do know. Nature awakens the Knowing of my Heart. xoxo
Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!
Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here.
Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.
And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.
Latest Articles:
[catlist name=blog]