Short Story: The Three Gifts

Recently, I opened my email to send a message and in the next few moments, I had landed on this short story I wrote in May 2018. It was adapted from an experience I had in October 2017.

Although I shared the experience in October 2017, I had never shared this version. I landed on it for some reason just now; so sharing with all of you. xoxo

Robert Caney (British, 1847 – 1911 ), Lake Scene with Fairies and Swans, , watercolor and gouache over black chalk on blue-green board, Joseph F. McCrindle Collection 2009.70.70

The Three Gifts

“You are stupid, you are alone, and you have no idea what you are doing.” This is the message that resurfaced and repeated over and over again like a jackhammer breaking concrete. The year 2017 had thus far been a turbulent one of stirring the pot of childhood memories. In her forty-seventh year of life, she found herself stuck repeating unhealthy and fearful patterns that kept her from living the life of which she was worthy and deserving.

She had adopted a meditation practice ten years earlier as she felt called to incorporate this into her life. It was during one such meditation session that she received three messages which eventually led to freedom from the past.

One December evening as she gently opened her eyes from a deep meditation, she saw three ghost like figures draped in delicate sheer muslin.

She slowly stood and with thinly veiled fear she approached the first figure which loomed tall and broad. With her mind and heart, she asked what it had to impart to her.

From deep within her heart, she felt an intuitive knowing that in order to learn the message she must lift the muslin from the larger than life figure. The fear had welled to a point where she knew if something didn’t happen to halt it, the anxiety would overtake her mind.

With trembling hands she delicately and slowly lifted the muslin. With utter surprise and sheer awe she saw that the figure held the message of strength and was only patiently waiting for her to retrieve this gift. She saw this with her mind and heart for this was not a message one could see with the eyes.

The figure handed her a small black cube which she instinctively knew was to be absorbed by her entire body. She heard with her mind, and not her ears, the following message: “For I will be your strength. It is I who move you to take action that you know not why you are moved to take. This cube represents the strength that has always been within your heart.”

A lifetime of emotional neglect, abandonment, and betrayal had ingrained within her that she was not strong and should not advocate for what she believed in her heart. By absorbing the gifted cube, she would release all that she had boxed within. She felt like a rehabilitated animal set free into the wilds of its natural habitat. She claimed this gift of strength and knew it would never leave her.

With conviction she approached the next figure which had an air of complexity and wisdom. With much less timid hands she lifted the muslin. This figure revealed to her how deep judgments about life, other beings, and nature had been encoded in her DNA.

The figure lifted a nearly transparent hand to reveal a bronze colored pendant in the shape of a heart. She knew she was to absorb this within so as to melt the misguided judgments about life, other beings, and nature.

She claimed this gift of enlightenment and knew it to be the way to live one’s life upon this Earth.

With deepened confidence she approached the last figure which felt feminine and nurturing. As she approached she could already feel the weight of this message and the knowing it would impart.

She slowly lifted the muslin. What met her eyes was a history of angry peoples who fought one another with a mighty and violent force.

With two nearly transparent hands the figure reached into her chest and extracted a heart that was alive with nature. All of nature was contained within this heart.

She again instinctively knew she was to absorb the heart into her own. She would be among those who live life differently. She would not live an angry life and would not fight with a mighty and violent hand.

She is to meet all of life with love, she is to meet all experiences with love, all that life presents so that she can move forward in life’s journey with love.

Not only that she is to be a friend and protector of trees and nature. She is to meet injustice done to trees and nature with love and peace knowing that those who cause harm know not what they do.

She claimed this gift of love and knew the bond it contained and created with nature and all of life. She knew in her heart and soul that she had been given her life back. A life that began to be taken from her as a small young one in this life. Yet, much farther back in another life. It was time. She was ready to accept these gifts, ready to have the veil of illusion lifted once and for all.

With each message received, the delivering figure faded into the shadows of the dimly lit room. She was left alone with the gifts received. Yet, she did not feel alone. What she felt was a palpable air of love and peace.

Before this experience it felt as if her heart had been a dry well, empty of love for an eternity. Now, after the encounter with the muslin covered figures, she knew and felt her heart had been quenched and drenched with a liquid love that ever replenishes each time she communes with nature.

She exited the meditation room having been healed and with an air of courage, peace, and knowing to live the life she was meant to live.

Visit here to read the original post and how it was sparked by a guided meditation while attending An Alchemist Theatre event.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is arriving January 2018. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 13 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Go here to see latest soul writings. xoxo

Why I Choose to Walk Into Darkness

**THROWBACK POST with an Update**

February 13 2015:

“Until your knees finally hit the floor, you’re just playing at life, and on some level you’re scared because you know that you’re just playing. The moment of surrender is not when life is over. It’s when life begins.” -Marianne Williamson

Camilla's Vision Board 2015
(2015 Vision Board with Meditation as a theme word for the year)

The year 2014 was a year of the knees slowly hitting the floor, culminating with a smack down slamming of those knees the last three months of 2014. Deep fears and negative emotions were faced and released like never before.

I began January 2015 with an intent to focus on meditation and love and have stuck to that. I knew that the solutions and answers were inside of me and no where else. I’m nearing the end of a 3 week intensive meditation exercise of meditating for an hour and a half every day.

A miracle has happened as I’ve been opening a heart that went into hiding as a young girl. Love is indeed a magical charm! Meditate on. Love on. xoxo

Thomas and Camilla January 2017 Date Day Part 2 1.31.17 #4

**Update** March 1 2017:  Just when I thought that 2014 was the culmination of the knees hitting the floor! There was more and deeper work to be done. Definitely not because it is fun. I had been harboring deeply buried hurts, pain, anger, and guilt from my childhood. I am currently in the fourth week of an intense five session reflexology and energy work course.

It has been literally kicking my butt. Seriously, physically painful …. Like, I thought I was dying two weekends ago. Holy heck! What webs we weave to not feel uncomfortable feelings.

Yet, absolutely, totally, amazingly, and miraculously freeing … FREEDOM. I have chosen to walk into the fear of my past, my personal shadows and darkness. So as to live my life from each and every present moment; rather than reacting from the past. And, thereby creating my future from the present moments and NOT from the past.

YES!

Meditation is like drinking water for me. It is simply something that is vital to my well being.

I still meditate about four to five mornings a week between twenty to sixty minutes a session.

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

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Emotions: Feel It

Ever had haunting thoughts that you missed something; that you had all these clues and didn’t put them together? Those thoughts that sweep over you and wrap around you like a dark storm cloud? I share this for anyone who needs it.

These words are like landmarks on a map. Landmarks that lead to a deep peace. The words are doing their work if they bring peace to anyone whose eyes and heart they touch.

Recently I had thoughts that I let something slip through the cracks back in 2006 concerning my daughter*, Lillian. In the midst of some huge life changes** I simply “forgot” something. As I began researching, a heavy feeling came over me. Heavy, dark, and sad, with the feeling I had done something wrong.

Thomas, my son, and Lillian could both sense something was wrong so I went to my room to change clothes. While there I burst into tears and cried with thoughts of how with this one piece of the Lillian puzzle I was right back where I was in 2006. I began to feel guilty and then like a victim and then angry ….. And …..

Then I chose to connect with these feelings. I breathed them in. I didn’t think about why I felt this way. I focused on the way it felt in my body. Heavy and tight. Within minutes the feeling lifted and I was in a peaceful, quiet state.

I realized that for whatever reason, the timing was not right for this path in 2006. I chose not to dwell on why or what if questions. This is now and that doesn’t exist any longer. Something that I would have let carry on for days or weeks in the past (or buried and ignored) was now learned from, felt and processed in half an hour.

Now, I embrace all emotions. They are me. They are us. My thoughts had changed. My perception had changed. I saw it differently. I had just experienced a miracle.

May you let yourself feel what you need to feel, connect with it and have your own miracle today! If you need guidance let me know. So much love to y’all!

Heartfuly Inspired™,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

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*Lillian is 13 years old and has a chromosome abnormality called 18p-; which means that she is missing a part of the short arm of chromosome #18. Learn more here.

**I separated from my husband in December 2006 and we were divorced in 2007.

You can learn more about this and my journey up through 2010 in the book, “D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance.”

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