O is for Observe

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Camilla and Lillian

“Most people see what is, and never see what can be.” -Albert Einstein

Observing, paying attention, being aware of the present moment.  What’s happening, who you are with, are you having a conversation? Are you really being present for the conversation or are you thinking about all those bills that are due or what you’re making for dinner or what happened on the last episode of your favorite show.

Observing and paying attention are keys to our own happiness and success.  In addition, they are crucial in our function as special needs parents.  Have you noticed that many with intellectual disabilities are more intuitive than us typical folks.  They can sense insincerity, they know when someone is not being present, not listening to them, “faking” kindness. {Just had someone point out that they think we ALL sense insincerity.  I’m thinking I didn’t use the proper words to describe what was going on in my head! From my perspective, as Mom to Lillian, I have noticed that Lillian is super sensitive to adults in her charge who are insincere – even when I sometimes don’t initially sense it.  I’m also not saying that those with intellectual disabilities are “more” than those of us who have all of our genes.  I believe some who are missing genes have a heightened or increased awareness in some “areas”.}

How will we guide our kids with special needs into a fruitful, happy and successful future if we are not present for them?  Observe their likes, dislikes, what are they good at doing, favorite hobbies and maybe they have topics or interests they seem obsessed with . . . the weather, the time, making lists, making a plan and sticking to it.  Observe these and then use these qualities to their advantage in life.  They like these things for a reason.  It’s not up to us to figure out why they like or don’t like something or why they are obsessed with a topic.  Let’s observe, be present and give them every single opportunity we can to blossom and use the special and unique gifts they have.

I recently returned from the Chromosome 18 Conference and I was humbled by the young adults.  {The photo above is Lillian and I at Reno/Tahoe airport headed to the conference in Indy.} One of the last conversations I had with my Chromosome 18 family was in the hotel restaurant having lunch with 20 year old Kati. Kati’s mom, Deb, and I began talking about movies and I mentioned the Lion King. Kati said that was the first movie she had ever seen.  Then she proceeded to tell me the second movie, the third movie, the fourth movie and on and on up to the Last Harry Potter movie she had seen.  She remembers this about books she’s read also.  I don’t know about you; but I find that pretty darn amazing.  I was in awe of this young lady.  How many of you remember every single movie you have seen beginning with the very first one.  Kati loves to plan events and trips.  She is planning a trip to Vegas for her 21st birthday which is a little less than a year from now.  She loves horses and wants to travel to New Zealand and Florida.  This young lady is amazing and look at the unique and special qualities she has been gifted.

I was also intrigued by how many of the young adults have as a dream working with animals and/or children.  It seemed to be a very common thread.  I asked my friend, Catherine Burzio, if she thought it was that each was simply picking up or borrowing what the previous young adult had said.  She said “No, that’s not it at all”.  It’s the unconditional love that animals and young children give.  I fully understand that for one reason or another there are reasons that some of these young adults cannot work as a vet or even a vet assistant or in a child care facility.  But, do you think if we observed them more and were present more we and possibly a coach and our community could find or create just the right fit for them.  A fit that gives them the opportunity to do what they love and enjoy and are good at and earn money for themselves.

I don’t know and I’m not at all saying this is the right technique for everyone . . . I’m just thinkin “out loud”.  What do you think?

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The Past

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“Let the past be a servant for making the future both more enjoyable and profitable.” From “The Seasons of Life” by Jim Rohn

- My hope for each of you today is that you let go of at least one issue, friend or event from your past and enjoy TODAY! -

Do What You Really Want to Do

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“The minute you begin to do what you really want to do, it’s really a different kind of life.” -Buckminster Fuller

Even if what you want to do seems like the silliest thing ever . . . I’m not talking about deep stuff here like what do I want to do with my life . . . Just simply going with your gut/intuition when being pulled towards an activity. Accept that there’s a reason . . . the reason will become clear if you simply trust yourself.

Last weekend I got the feeling, the urge that I wanted to go through boxes in my garage.  I kept thinking “I don’t have time for this right now, I’ve got to do this, that and the other before the two conferences I’ve got upcoming in July.” I could not get this thought to go away.  It’s as if there was something in those boxes pulling me out there and it was not gonna give up.  I decided I’d go out there and just go through a few.  Many of these boxes have been packed since moving to Reno in 2006 and my divorce in 2007.  Some not as long as that, just since we made our last move about 2 or 3 years ago.

This is exactly what I need to be doing right now. I’m still going through them . . . in fact, I’m headed out there after I get this written. I’m definitely getting rid of a ton of stuff – boxes and boxes . . . some in the garbage, some to Goodwill and some to a friend who just had a baby.

The simply amazing aspect of this is that I’m also finding little treasures and messages that are perfectly timed. If I had ignored my gut telling me to “Do this NOW”, I would not be discovering these treasures and messages.  I would not be processing and getting rid of some thorny little thoughts that still sneak their way back into my life.

Camilla’s Purge Palooza 2011 has shown me the path for something I’ve been stuck with for almost a year now.  All I’m saying is that the quote above, “Do what you really want to do . . . ” doesn’t have to be about figuring out the meaning of your life or something deep. Just simply going with your gut/intuition when you get the urge that you should be doing this, that or the other.  The reason will become crystal clear as you are doing it or shortly thereafter.

Here’s to trusting ourselves and going with our gut!

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Enthusiasm

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“You can do anything if you have enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes rise to the stars. Enthusiasm is the spark in your eye, the swing in your gait, the grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of your will and energy to execute your ideas . . . Enthusiasm is at the bottom of all progress!” Henry Ford

May each of you let your enthusiasm shine today!!

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The Treasure Seekers – Movie Review

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I now review movies on our Team TLC website – go here if you want to see more.

★★★★★

June 4, 2011, was movie night for Team TLC. We have a Saturday tradition of watching a movie together in my bedroom making full use of this fancy projector I use for teaching my Social Media workshops.

We get our movies from our local library, South Valleys Library, so most of them are a few years old to really really old! Which actually adds to the adventure of it all in my eyes.  I love popping that DVD in, not knowing what it holds and at the same time knowing it will be 5 year old and 9 year old friendly.  Ya see, I just don’t much care for MANY of the new and newer movies – with a few exceptions.

The Treasure Seekers (amazon affiliate link) was my choice for us tonight.  It’s setting is English Victorian Age and this movie had me hooked from the moment it began.  I loved everything about it. I have not read the book of the same name authored by E. Nesbit; but from what I’ve seen on Amazon this film is loosely based on the book.  Fine by me as I adored this movie.  Thomas and Lillian both sat still and watched the entire movie.  And, actually, they are always happy with what I have chosen. Thomas was a tad bit disappointed as he thought they would literally be searching for treasure.

I saw some of my little family in the Bastable family. A single (widowed) entrepreneur/inventor dad with piles of unpaid bills.   In addition to an olden day loan shark who holds the mortgage on the Bastable home threatening to take the home in seven days.  I found this movie to be very inspiring.  In addition to holding a message to continue on the journey one has chosen no matter what others think or how uncomfortable it may get along the way.  To have faith and NOT give up, especially when it seems that there are no options, choices or hope left.

The Bastable family worked with one another as a team – sometimes on the sly.  The kids were attempting to help Dad every second of the way. Even though throughout the movie their attempts backfired.

The Treasure Seekers is a family movie night must in my opinion. It gets 5 stars from me – family friendly, motivating, inspiring and FUN!

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The Shift that Happens

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Reno Rainbow

I’ve been a member of Reno Downtowner’s Toastmaster’s Club for about a year now.  I originally joined as I wanted to improve my speaking skills and be in a comfortable environment amongst others who were improving themselves and wanted to help fellow members do the same.

Lately, I find myself so busy that I have this recurring thought that I just don’t have the time to keep going every week.  Toastmaster’s clubs meet once a week for an hour.  I get myself to the meeting in spite of this thought telling me I don’t have time and EVERY single time I do this, that particular Toastmaster’s meeting is out of this world and I know I was meant to be there and be a part of the speeches, discussions and table topics.

Last Tuesday, May 24, 2011 was no exception.  First, I was chosen during table topics.  For those that don’t know, table topics are to help you speak off the cuff, spur of the moment without any preparation.  The table topics master makes a statement of 5 words or less and chooses another member to speak for at least a minute about the statement they just delivered.

I was chosen to speak about the word “If”.  Having just had a speaker the previous Wednesday at our eWomenNetworking Dinner event whose topic was Going with Your Gut, I tied the word “if” with that message.  See, this is the thing, that Go with Your Gut message was very timely and hit home with me.  I have just recently made a HUGE decision involving my daughter and her education by way of going with MY gut.  This was another little reminder for me to nevermind the “What if’s” and pay attention to my gut!

Following that, we had two amazing speeches.  One based on Giving Thanks which had as it’s foundation the speakers own story which was very moving and one that I identified with on many levels!  Next speech had to do with finding our own point of power. WOW!  Again, based on the speakers own story and definitely packed a powerful message.  This was a meeting I was just supposed to be in attendance.

Attending and being a member of Reno Downtowner’s Toastmasters Club has shifted to mean more than why I originally joined the club.  One never knows what will happen or shift for us when we choose to show up. I certainly felt a shift occurring for several other members when they were privy to some of our very own stories.

Have you joined any organizations or attended events for a certain reason and then find that reason shifting at some point? Would love to hear about it!

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Decisions from the Gut

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I had the honor and privilege of being at the eWomenNetwork Dinner event last Wednesday, May 18, 2011 and we had a fabulous speaker, Mary Goulet.  Her presentation was about making decisions and using our gut to make those decisions rather than our head or our heart. Ms. Goulet’s presentation was extremely meaningful to me and hit home.

I purchased her book, Go With Your Gut!; which is the perfect size and a quick read.  Had it read in two days.  I’m sure it could be read in one or two hours if one has the time to sit and read it straight through.

Ms. Goulet’s message is so simple; but many times very difficult for us to get out of our head and make decisions using our gut.  That first thought we have that tells us “Do it this way”, “Make the call now”, “Do it now”, “No, don’t do it” and the like.  I realized that I make many of my decisions using my gut and THEN come back a few minutes later or days later and get stuck in my head about that decision.  “What if”, “But”, “How”, “Why” and “What will they think”.

I recently made a huge and important decision regarding my daughter, Lillian, and her schooling situation.  I knew what my gut decision was right from the beginning.  “Do it.”  “It’s the right thing.”  This was at least two months ago and I still find myself, well, arguing with myself about the decision I made. ” What are you going to do about this? How are you going to handle this?  But, what about this?”  I think I’ll save what led to this decision and our school plans for next year for another post.

I highly recommend Go with Your Gut! (amazon affiliate link) for anyone who is interested in the differences in making decisions with our heart, with our head and with our gut.  Ms. Goulet gives excellent descriptions of how to recognize when we are using our heart, head or gut.  Plain and simple, I felt empowered after hearing her speak and especially after reading her book.

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Living Life as an Adventure

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Team TLC

It’s time I share with y’all about some changes to this here blog.  I have been posting articles, tips and how to information relating to Facebook and other Social Media outlets and mixing in personal posts here and there.  Social Media will no longer be the focus.  There are so many people, experts and gurus writing about this and staying on top of it, I really don’t feel I have anything more to add to that conversation.

Now, don’t get the wrong idea, I WILL still be teaching, speaking about and training business owners how to effectively and efficiently use Social Media Marketing for their business with a heavy emphasis on Facebook.  By nature, I am a “digger”.  I thrive on sleuthing and figuring out all this Social Media jazz.  I will continue to do that, so my clients don’t have to!

Those of you who were here for Social Media tips may want to unsubscribe or remove it from your feed now.  When I feel I’ve got something to add to the conversation, I may throw in a post here and there about Social Media; but primarily this blog is about to open up and share my world with you in the hopes that it inspires those that may need it, motivate those who may want it, help some of us to think different and hopefully give you a good ole hearty laugh sometimes.

In addition, my goal is to take my Communication at Your Fingertips presentation and the Educate n Motivate Bootcamp to schools and conferences across the United States.  In addition, I will spend as much time as possible on the Turning Views Foundation, of which I am the Founder and President.

I will incorporate posts telling my story so as to qualify why one may be inspired or motivated by my and our lives.  This also means you will hear more about my daughter, Lillian Darnell, and my son, Thomas Darnell, and the roller coaster ride of being a Mom to a differently abled child (Lillian).  The thing is the three of us are a team – we call ourselves Team TLC.  We are by no means the perfect little family – how boring would that be anyway! And, yep, there are times when it’s downright not fun in this household!  We are on a journey and are darn well gonna give it our best shot at enjoying every single day and live our lives as an adventure.

I have just recently realized that my little family – Team TLC – is the core and foundation of all that I do. I must care for and nurture myself and my family in order for the structures that I, and we, build to be sound and sturdy.  My family, Team TLC, IS my business.  I hope that y’all stay along for the journey, have FUN with us and share with us too! We gonna have a ball y’all!!

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Dares, Choices and Changing the World

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(Based on a Toastmaster’s Speech I delivered today, April 5, 2011)

Three concepts for all of us to ponder . . .  The first concept is that of choices.

Do you live each day thinking, “Well, I’ve got to do this and I’ve got to do that”.  Or, “I’ve got no choice in the matter?”  Or, do you live each day thinking, “If I choose this one, then this will happen and if I choose this one, then that will happen.”  I CHOOSE this! Do you say “I HAVE to do this, that or the other” or do you say “I WANT to do this that or the other”?

A poem to share with you -

“Happiness”

Life is so happy, it makes me cry.
And I cannot, tell a lie on April Fools.
The point is that you will have a non stop lovable brain.
And it has our choices in it.

Now, I think this is an absolutely beautiful and powerful poem! I may be a bit prejudiced, though, as my 9 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell, wrote it this past Friday, April 1, 2011. I’d like to share why I think, partly anyway, that Lillian created this poem.

Lillian received an email from a family member with the following statement, “I often feel like I have no choice” .  I disagree with this attitude and felt the need to share that with Lillian.  I explained to her that each of us ALWAYS has a choice.  No matter what decision we are faced with making, no matter what situation or circumstance, we always get to choose. There are consequences to accompany whatever we decide; but we get to make that choice.

I believe it’s not even which choice you make that matters as much as what you do with your choice after you have made it.  Once we make a choice, we should then make it the right choice! She really took my point of view to heart and mind.

Choices – one concept to ponder . . .  Which leads me to the second concept of Changing the World.

What are you doing to contribute to our World – whether it’s changing it for the better or adding to it for the better? I’m not meaning or saying we all have to be an Einstein, Earhart, Branson or Buffet. What I mean is in your own way – what has meaning to YOU!

Do you wake up every morning and conform?  Are you doing the same thing day in and day out – doing something that means absolutely nothing to you?  Or are you waking up thinking, “Hot Damn! Another day to work towards my goal.  Another day to enjoy the heck out of while I’m working my way to that goal.  Another day to squeeze every ounce of joy, love and happiness out of!”

Two concepts to ponder – Choices and Changing the World.  Now to wrap those two concepts up and give them a nice foundation with three words – I Dare You!

I Dare you to retrain your mind and thought habits about thinking you have no choice in matters.  You have a CHOICE with every single decision that involves you. I Dare you to do what you want to do with your life. I dare you to not conform.  I dare you to stop doing it the way everybody else is doing it cause that’s the way its always been done.  I dare you to have FAITH in yourself and what your gut or your intuition is telling you should be doing in this World! I dare you to be Different!

The thing is if we look back at our history and even our present, and look at the people who are successful at doing what it is they know they were meant to do; there is ONE common thread amongst them.  I’m talking about the creators, the innovators and those that change the world.  Race does not matter and gender does not matter.  That common thread is that they were and are DIFFERENT.  In the beginning everyone around them whispers or even says aloud, “(S)he’s weird – (s)he’s different – what’s wrong with that person?”

It is my belief that each and every one of us is different in our own unique and special way.  I think way too many of us cram that different part of us back down saying “Get back in there, You’re making me look weird, You’re making me look different.”  It’s time to uncork that different aspect within us and share with those around us for the benefit of ourselves and the world.  Amazing events will and must occur when we do this!

Just some concepts for us to ponder . . . I Dare You to Make Choices and Then Make Them the Right Choices, I Dare You to Change the World, I Dare You to be Different!

Another Lillian poem to leave you with -

“Pretty Flowers”

A poem is a sweet brainer.
You listen to music.
And the point is that your creative brain is a bank.
And listen to it.
I love you a lot, of pretty flowers.

(This post and speech were inspired in part by Earl Nightingale’s, “The Strangest Secret“{amazon affiliate link}, and William Danforth’s book titled “I Dare You“{amazon affiliate link})

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More About Camilla

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I’m Mom to Lillian and Thomas Darnell and I speak, train and consult with small businesses and nonprofits regarding Social Media Marketing.  I’m also the founder of the Turning Views Foundation, Different iz Good . . . Spread the Word movement™ and the Gift a Voice Project.

My five year old son, Thomas, cracks me up with his fantastic imagination and adds to my joy and happiness in an indescribable way!  My nine year old daughter, Lillian, is a self proclaimed fairy angel and I happen to agree with her 100%.  Lillian is the spark that ignited the creation of the Turning Views Foundation, the Different iz Good movement and the Gift a Voice Project.

In mid December 2004 I received a phone call that changed the direction of my life and landed me in a Different place than I had planned and a Different place than I had ever dreamed.  Lillian’s pediatrician phoned one evening during dinner to let us know that she had gotten the results of Lillian’s Karotype testing.  This is a test where blood is drawn and examined on a cellular level to check for chromosome abnormalities.  Lillian was born on September 14, 2001 about a month before her natural due date.  She was a bit different from the first day of her life and a bit behind with many milestones.  Being a new Mom I just kept associating her delays to being born a month early and being a preemie baby.

Lillian’s pediatrician delivered the news that she had a chromosome abnormality.  Specifically, a deletion of the short arm of Chromosome 18, referred to as 18p-.  I cannot remember a great deal of the rest of the conversation as my mind sort of stopped and I started thinking, “Wait a minute.  What are you talking about?  No, this can’t be right.  No, No, No.”  I remember mention of it being very rare and that visits to specialists must begin immediately – heart doctor, eye doctor, geneticist, etc.

I immediately got online and began researching Chromosome 18, 18p- and chromosome abnormalities.  I learned a GREAT deal online and even knew more than the geneticist when we met with him.  That is also how I discovered The Chromosome 18 Registry and Research Society. The people of this fabulous organization, the Founder, Board Members and Family Members have become my second family and I am grateful and blessed to have each and every one of them in my life.  The Registry exists because a Mom was told 20 years ago that her daughter had 18q- (deletion of the long arm).  We as a society are all blessed that Jannine Cody chose the path she did as the genetic research they perform benefits ALL with genetic disorders.

So began my journey to a different place.  You can read more about the beginnings of this journey here.  The time and space between then and now I’ll cover in blog posts here, over at the Different iz Good website and my upcoming book.

Fast forward to about one year ago when I discovered Proloquo2Go on Twitter as I had created columns in Hootsuite tracking keywords for speech impaired.  I immediately bought Lillian an iPhone and installed Proloquo2Go.  That became the driving force behind learning more about this technology and then also combining that technology with the web and social networking.  These forces combined have opened a world of communication for the nonverbal and speech impaired that have NEVER been there before. We are experiencing a communication evolution.  The way in which we communicate and conduct business has shifted forever and is evolving.

In my online research I kept encountering people asking where they could get assistance purchasing an iPhone, iPod (and now an iPad) as private insurance and Medicaid do not cover these devices.  There were also many who mentioned they were on waiting lists to receive one.  This led to thoughts of “Something has got to be done about this.” It’s completely ridiculous that nonverbal and speech impaired children CANNOT have an inexpensive modern way to communicate. Inexpensive compared to traditional augmentative communication devices; which typically cost between $5,000 – $10,000.  One can get an iPhone, iPod or iPad with an AAC Application and needed accessories for approximately $1,000; could be a bit less or bit more depending on version purchased.

At the same time I was discussing with other Chromosome 18 Moms about how our beautiful special needs kiddos do not like change and changes in their schedule or routine that cause things to seem different. Susan Moran commented that they really stress in their house that different is good and show it by changing furniture around often and other methods. My eyes, heart and soul wrapped around those words and with Susan’s permission I tucked it away to “incubate” until the timing was right! You are a beautiful rockin Mom Susan!

These two paths bordered with what I had chosen as my career (teaching, training and speaking to others about Social Networking) led to the creation of the Turning Views Foundation, Different iz Good . . . Spread the Word movement and the Gift a Voice Project.

The Formal Version

Camilla Downs is an influential guide in teaching the keys to Social Media Marketing. She is a social media marketing and community-building strategist, working with businesses and individuals to maximize the internet to enhance their brands, connect with customers, build communities and network for success. As Chief Community Builder at Turning Views, Inc., keynote speaker and trainer, Camilla has inspired hundreds of people to confidently use Facebook, Twitter, blogging and other online social networking tools through conferences, specialized workshops and consulting.

Camilla has consulted with businesses and nonprofits in Nevada, California and Texas, teaching them to establish, maintain and grow a commanding social media and online presence. She advises organizations on increasing their visibility on search engines and strengthening their brand identities online. She also offers video tutorials and online resources for many people seeking efficient assistance with the proper usage of these new tools of marketing.

Raised in Mississippi and Louisiana, Camilla relocated to Nevada after working for 10 years as a paralegal in Washington State. She has combined her research skills with a passion for collecting and testing the constant torrent of new information regarding social networking. “I am passionate about supporting nonprofits, fellow entrepreneurs and small business owners by teaching them to strategically use online and social networking tools”. “Small business owners are among the bravest and gutsiest among us, and they are starved for assistance in understanding the why and how of effective and proper use of these tools”.

Camilla is mother to two children, Thomas, five years old, and Lillian, nine. Lillian was born with a chromosome abnormality called 18p- which primarily manifests in communications deficits. Lillian has inspired Camilla to be a proponent for speech-impaired individuals, their families and caregivers in using technology and social media to communicate and improve quality of life. “Opportunities exist as never before for speech-impaired individuals to be business owners and entrepreneurs because of social media and technology”.