Inspired by Nature: Love and Acceptance

June 22 2018:

The most amazing and wonderful sunset walk last night. Nature is an incredible gift and blessing. She inspires us to ponder.

Do we love and accept others for who they know themselves to be or do we love and accept our idea of them and how we think they make us feel? I’ve got a writing bubbling forth. Love, love, love.

Sunset Walk Vintage Lake 6.22.18 #1 Sunset Walk Vintage Lake 6.22.18 #2 Sunset Walk Vintage Lake 6.22.18 #3 Sunset Walk Vintage Lake 6.22.18 #4 Sunset Walk Vintage Lake 6.22.18 #5 Sunset Walk Vintage Lake 6.22.18 #6 Sunset Walk Vintage Lake 6.22.18 #7

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:

 

Facing Fear – I Welcome You

Thomas Cole (American, 1801 - 1848), The Voyage of Life: Youth, 1842, oil on canvas, Ailsa Mellon Bruce Fund 1971.16.2

Thomas Cole (American, 1801 – 1848), The Voyage of Life: Youth, 1842, oil on canvas, Ailsa Mellon Bruce Fund 1971.16.2

The Best Version of Me

I expect and know I will see the possibilities and opportunities in this situation. I will Know when to take action. And, I will be the best version of me that I can possibly be. 

I welcome this fear and I take it’s hand as I walk through the foggy illusion fear creates. As I reach the other side I gently release the hand of fear and lovingly whisper, “Thank you.”

Thank you for helping me to see and know the walls as an illusion. The walls I have felt trapped within, no matter which path I chose. Thank you for allowing me to see that even though I may outwardly seem to conform; within I know the Truth. I hold that Truth close to my Heart, so that I may freely and openly share the Gift of my Heart as only I can do in the Way I came forth to share. 

Break Free of Illusions

I thank you for helping me to see the opportunities and possibilities in seemingly difficult situations. I thank you for teaching me to expect opportunities and possibilities so that I may break free of the illusions of these Worldly rules. I thank you for teaching me that being Good and doing things how they are expected is not a requirement. Thank you for teaching me that fitting in is not a requirement of BEing on this Earth. 

Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones. – Thich Nhat Hanh

Thank you for teaching me the Truth, my Truth. A Truth that at times, creates heaviness and an internal explosion so fierce I feel I may die from the physical discomfort it brings. A discomfort so unbearable I contemplate if leaving this Earthly body is the way to Freedom from these Worldly rules. Thank you for teaching me in the next second that these thoughts are a trick of the Ego. As are all thoughts that cause me to whither and hide the Light Within. 

Thank you for teaching me how to make a decision from a Knowing and Trusting place of Love. Thank you for teaching me the difference between this Knowing and being stuck in a sludgy tar filled pit of despair, anxiety, fear, and loneliness.

The Key to Freedom

Thank you to the Angels who have come into my life to Guide me in seeing the illusion of the sludgy tar filled pit. Thank you for showing me Where the Key to Freedom lay in wait. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for holding space for me to learn and process what has been necessary for grasping this Key and using it as was meant.

Thank you to those who have given up on me. Thank you to those who have turned away from me. Thank you to those who have lost patience with this path I travel. For you have been an integral piece of my Truth as well. 

I expect and know I will see and act upon the possibilities and opportunities in this situation. I am no longer stuck in the sludgy tar filled pit. I am ready to live my Truth. I am ready to receive the slings and arrows that come my way as I live this Truth. I am ready to Love myself, and to give and receive Love. I am FREE. Freedom. Hallelujah! -©2018, Camilla Downs

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:

 

The Path of the Heart Will Emerge – The Urban Howl

June 2 2018:

Much gratitude to The Urban Howl for publishing another of my writings …

“Know this.
When riddled with questions,
plagued by confusion,
and held hostage by anxiety,
this is not of the heart.

Distractions, these are,
to cover the message
of the heart,
to prevent one
following the
path of the heart.”

Let Go — The Path Of The Heart Will Emerge

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:

Poetry and Photography: Cloud Whisperings

Cloud Whisperings

Clouds May 2018 #1

The eyes cannot possibly see the depth of your beauty.
The heart beats with the Knowing.
The nostrils inhale breath with the Knowing. 
The mouth speaks the Knowing, laced within every word spoken.
The ears hear the birdsong of the Knowing.
For the depth of your beauty is this same Knowing.
©️2018 Camilla Downs 

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:

Poetry and Photography: Headed Home

And She Walked 5.28.18

And she walked.
And she walked.
She walked until
Arriving at
The home of 
Peace and Joy.
Only to discover
This is where she had
Been all along.
©️2018 Camilla Downs

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:

Alchemy: A Haunting Memory Reveals the Truth

A Haunting Memory

Tree Roots Walking Through Tunnel Post 8.4.17

Why does this memory haunt her? Why does it keep returning? She does not remember the exact age of when this happened. She would have been 5, 6 or 7 years old. The past couple of years when this memory surfaced she has taken the time to feel emotions she buried from that time …. sadness and anger. Event though she remembers not who was involved, she has forgiven whoever it was.

She used to ignore it. Telling herself either she imagined it or if it happened then it lives in the past and does not matter. Which she does believe to be partly true. It is in the past and no longer exists. Yet, she left something of herself in that crawl space, behind a locked door. Something that begs to be retrieved.

She bears no anger towards the one or ones who thought it fun or a game or just plain unkind to lock her in that crawl space. She has been patient each time the memory surfaces. Recently she wrote about it in great detail in a “written quilt piece” in preparation for an upcoming memoir. Well, the details she can remember.

The Meditation Alchemy

Perhaps that writing was the catalyst to finally retrieving what she had left there. She traveled to that crawl space once again on May 30, 2018. Not by a conscious choice. She was divinely led there. With eyes closed, seated comfortably and relaxed; she was invited to imagine herself in a cocoon. Her heart and mind took her straight to that crawl space behind the locked door. She found herself alternating between difficulty breathing and her breath quickening as she felt paralyzing anxiety.

She was invited to imagine two layers to the cocoon and that she was about dissolve one layer. The first of these layers appeared to be the lock of the door. The door handle melted into a silken gold liquid with the embrace of pure, divine love. The second layer to be dissolved was the door. As she watched in her mind’s eye the wooden door magically rotted and dissolved into the dirt floor of the crawl space.

She was also invited to see a symbol or word held within the cocoon that she was to take with her. She was guided to know that this symbol holds meaning as to why she is here on this Earth and here at this time, and that this is the message she is to share with others. Surprising to her, she saw a beautiful symbol that had come into her life at about the age of twenty.

Real True Sincere Tattoo June 2018

A Japanese symbol she had chosen to have permanently etched onto her skin. At the age of twenty she did not know the depth of why she chose this symbol. Well, other than the fact that it only cost $20 and that’s about all she had to spend on permanent body art. This is that symbol and its meaning is real, true, and sincere. Floating underneath the symbol was the word “write”.

The Truth is Revealed

Clouds May 2018 #1

She absorbed the symbol and word into the loving embrace of her heart as she emerged from the crawl space with a knowing as to why she had to keep returning. It wasn’t to torture herself, nor to stay living in the past, nor to have sadness and anger; of which the latter was long gone.

She now knew that she had left parts of her Worth in that crawl space, mixed in with the well packed dirt floor. Pieces of it dislodged from her heart and scattered amongst the dust particles in the coolness of that dark place. She now retrieved the pieces of Worth and became aware that hanging around her neck from a golden silk cord was an aqua colored pen engraved with the word “Jump”. She flew peacefully from that crawl space on gypsy wings inscribed with authenticity, truth, sincerity and love.

Clouds May 2018 #2

She continues to write to this day. Her writing has evolved and shifted over the years and ever remains authentic, true, and sincere. Watch for it. One day one of her writings may sweep you away to travels that excite, delight, or may even bring an alchemical experience of your own.

Please be kind with yourself should you be experiencing recurring unlovely memories of the past. Know you are not doing it to torture yourself. Be patient and the truth shall be revealed when you are ready. And so it is.

**Special thanks to Jessica Levity Daylover and The Alchemist Theatre members. Jessica’s magical meditations and the entire show almost always spark an amazing “story” for me. That’s where this one was born!**

It was pretty wild! Like, “Oh, now I see why this has kept coming up. Got it. Worth retrieved! Let’s do this!!” Definitely some alchemy happening!!

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:

Neither Side Holds the Answer

The Catalyst

This side. That side. Neither side holds the answer. That lies within.

….. from a recent walk …..

Bridge Walk with Thomas Vintage Lake 5.15.18

Thomas and I spent quite some time in this spot discussing things that were on his mind. Approaching from the other side was a group of wildly loud and profanity spewing kids ranging from a toddler to teenager.

They stopped to throw huge rocks at the geese and goslings. I could not sit idly by and observe this. I felt anger brewing, yet knew this not to be the answer as that must be all these kids know to be behaving in such a manner.

The Response

They dispersed from scaring the geese and goslings as I approached. Fortunately, none were injured. I do not remember the exact words that came forth. Yet, I channeled my inner Buddha and asked them to search for the love and kindness in their heart. And I pointed out that the geese are living beings and should not be treated in this way.

Some scattered. Some stood tall and laughed. Yet, if my calmness and non-threatening communication touched just one of them. Then, that’s one. They need a different way modeled. xoxo

As I attempted to fall asleep last night I mulled over and over how I could have handled this differently, perhaps more effectively, and even woke up thinking about it. I finally “woke up” and let it go knowing that I did the best I could do. xoxo

The Reflection

** I shared this on facebook and the following are further remarks from me sparked by other’s comments:

The older boys were expecting me to be harsh. They were so shocked with what I said that the oldest one’s mouth actually dropped open in disbelief!

I was filled with an odd mixture of anger and compassion for these young men. My thoughts were that they must be on the receiving end of MUCH unkindness from the adults around them and have not been shown the kindness and love that is in our hearts … and never shown that it is in their hearts too ….

What I had within me was an odd mixture of anger and compassion for the one’s mistreating the geese. It is my hope that the words and energy I shared were like a ripple created from a pebble thrown into the water. Maybe. Just maybe the ripple stuck with one of them ….

I had the opportunity to do this once again a few days later with the one who continues to think harshly of me and speak harshly of me to Lillian and Thomas. Anger, sadness, and confusion were the first response, yet I was able to transmute that after morning meditation and journal writing into compassion and knowing.

The Knowing

To Know with the Heart is to Know that their actions and words do not come from the True Self. They are from fear. It has been TWELVE years and still continues. I harbor no anger. Sadness and confusion at times, until I remember what I Know in my Heart.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:

Nature’s Messages: Reflect and Let it Go and Time Travel and Knowing

May 2018:

…. from a walk this morning …… Reflections. Cloudy and clear at the same time? Ahhhh. Such is it.

Solo Walk Vintage Lake Reflections 5.14.18

Solo Walk Vintage Lake Reflections 5.17.18

Don’t hold onto it. Let it roll right off your back.

Nature always has a perfect message for us when we stop, be quiet, and listen. I mean, look at those cute little water droplets. How could I not stop, take it in, and capture the moment? ….

Walk Vintage Water Droplets 5.14.18

This found me on a walk yesterday morning. Lots of goose quills around, yet have never seen two like this before.

I just had the chance to research online a bit and found that the quill of a goose has long been a preferred writing instrument. Apparently it awakens the imagination and intuition flows. The writer travels through time capturing stories of past, future and present.

I’ll take it! Time to write more. I’ll imagine my fingers are goose quills and that I’m writing like the wind as I type. My fingers and hand begin to hurt after about 5 minutes of handwriting so I just can’t do it.

Solo Walk Vintage Lake Goose Feathers 5.15.18

….. from a walk this morning …. Nature. Magnified. Take pause. Zoom out and See the Whole. Simply beautiful. xoxo

Goose Feather with Water Droplets Poem 5.23.18Water Droplets Goose Feather Vintage Lake 5.21.18 #2

There’s really not much I truly know. Yet. This. I do know. Nature awakens the Knowing of my Heart. xoxo

Not much I truly know Sunset Photo Vintage Lake 5.20.18

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:

Love and Hearts: Refuel and Nourish Your Body

Love Flakes Heart 5.23.18

Just as I refuel and nourish your physical body,
You must take action to refuel and nourish your emotional and creative body.

You cannot serve others if you are deeply depleted.

Creativity and improvising become clouded and stagnant when you are depleted.

You tell yourself you must continue, yet unless you give yourself time away from those who unknowingly drain you; your circumstances will not improve.

There are those in your life you simply cannot distance yourself and break free from due to your role as caregiver.

Yet, you can begin to schedule time to replenish and refuel so that you can be loving and compassionate in this role.

Take heed. This must be done for your mental and emotional health. And, it must be done for those you love.

Love,
The Cereal
xoxo

(Written May 2018)

Well, lately I haven’t. Hence, this mornings message. I actually received it last night but this brought clarity. I had hit the point of no return last night. It hurt to even walk. I have been completely overwhelmed, sad, and absolutely not creative. And, this message is why. I am beyond empty. Deeply empty!! There aren’t even fumes to keep me going. I’ve been on empty for probably 2 years. I feel so much better having realized what’s going on and I took time to write this morning. I’ll be writing a blog post to expand on this so stay tuned.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:

The Alchemy of Writing

“I learn by going where I have to go.” -Theodore Roethke

Walk Vintage Lake Path 5.30.18 #3

Why

I Know that I am supposed to share that which I experience, that which I live. I know that I am supposed to share it by way of writing, so I do. I release it to fly free …

In searching my blog for other articles I’ve written about writing, I came across this one from May 2016 …

I feel it is my purpose to openly share my own life experiences with others. I freely explain and share lessons I’ve learned and practices I use that work for me and my family. If needed, I listen with love and compassion and intuitively share thoughts and examples from my own life.

“The meaningful question is never what we did yesterday, but what we have learned from it and are doing today ….. No one can help with anything like someone who has been through the pain themselves.” – A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson

There is something inside of me that won’t let me not write. Something that gently nudges and says, “You’ve just got to share that.”

When I write I can hardly contain the emotions I feel inside. The emotions are as hot as lava and as sweet as honeysuckle – from the pit of my belly all the way up to my throat.

To read the entire post from 2016, go here “Why I Write“.

How

Everything I write has been experienced and lived by me. When I sit to write, at times I listen to music, and at others I write in silence. I lay my fingers to rest on the keyboard of my well worn laptop. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and type a few words.

Camilla's laptop 7.14.18

Once the first few words appear on the screen, something within takes over. My heart begins to race with the excitement of opening a meticulously wrapped gift. I become lost in another dimension. My fingers and hands become warm, the veins in my hands rising like miniature mountains. Interestingly, forming a large H on my left hand and a large Y on my right hand. (Which happened as I was writing this passage ….. !!)

Left hand Typing 7.14.18 Right hand Typing 7.14.18

The words begin to flow as fast and smooth as water running from a faucet. I type as fast as my fingers and hands will allow. For which I am thankful for having had typing class in high school.

At times, I notice I have forgotten to take a breath for fear of missing the words that are streaming forth. Yet, I know the words I miss will return at some point or they will land with another to share in their own way. In the past I fretted over the words that go away. Now I know that it matters not. All comes forth in perfect timing.

The Alchemy

Writing is my witness, my alchemy, my soul song. Writing is my therapist, my medicine, my best friend, my parent, my sibling, and my lover.

It is the way I connect with life so that I can release it and to also receive advice, solutions, and be consoled. Writing alchemizes what I experience; guiding me to the lesson I am to learn, memories I am to remember and release, and to the Knowing of why I am experiencing whatever it is.

This is not to say that writing replaces any of these roles, it simply enhances them.

The Vow

I vow to write.

I vow to listen for what to write. I vow to write even if no one reads what is written. I vow to write even if it turns some away. I vow to write for the writing is the food that feeds my soul. I vow to write until the day I am no longer inhabiting this beautiful Earth.

I vow to write. And, I vow to let myself not write when the time calls for it; not feeling guilty or a failure for doing so.

Camilla at Damonte Ranch Trail Fall 2015

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles: