Have Patience When Dancing with the Shadows – The Urban Howl

“Life is a dance with the light and the shadows.” …. xoxo … Let’s Dance … xoxo

Much gratitude to The Urban Howl for publishing another of my writings …

The Moon After the Alchemist Theater Show 1.31.18

Slipped into the shadows
of your being, you have.
When sadness and lack
have settled within.
When comparison of
oneself with others
is the theme
of the day.

When appreciation …. click below to read further …

Have Patience When Dancing With The Shadows Of Your Being

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:

Poetry and Photography: Knowing of the Heart

There’s nothing better than a walk with my loves – Thomas and Lillian. I cherish every walk taken with each one of them. Every walk …. Since they were wee tiny ones growing within me. Lillian and I have taken walks together for nearly 17 years! And Thomas and I for nearly 13 years! Love, sweet love. xoxo

Destinations and Experiences Poem Vintage lake May 2018

Thomas and Lillian

We have come together upon this Earth
to travel our own separate paths
Yet, traveling them together.

It has not escaped my attention
that there were and are places
and experiences we talked and
dreamed of experiencing.

Our lives together seem to
have become mundane and boring.

Seeming to have the same days
over and over again.
With little new experiences
by way of sights, sounds,
and experiences.

Sadness and failure encroached
upon these shoulders and heart
As the message of how
important it is to
travel with one’s family.

Travel so as to have one to one
time together … away from the
normalcy and sameness of
being in the same place and routines.

Yet, before the cloud could
fully envelop this heart,
the heart whispered to
the sadness a response
so profound and enlightening
the sadness and failure
did halt and lift to be
transmuted to peace and knowing.

The heart whispered …
Wait.

Each walk taken,
Each drive around
neighborhoods,
Each date day,
Each spontaneous trip
for simple life’s
necessities,
Each trip to the park,
Each drive to a lookout
to watch the sunset or
have a car picnic,
Each occasion you chose
to make special …
Each of those times was
a trip to a beautiful
and everlasting destination.

You and your chidren
have taken many trips.
They may not be the
actual destinations the
three of you envisioned.

No. They are not.

Yet, each of these trips
led to destinations
that many may never get
a chance to experience.

The trip. The destination.
Within you it is.
Take it with you
always, you do.
This is the alchemy
of the heart.

Glory be.
Take notice of
your profound ability
to make something
out of seemingly nothing.

Know this.
And be free.
Hallelujah!

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:

 

Simple Self-Care Ideas – Jessica Araus

April 20, 2018:

Camilla Illustration for Jessica's Article Self Care Tips April 2018

Incredibly grateful to Jessica Araus for having invited me to participate in an article about self-care.

Oh my gosh! Look at the amazing illustration Jessica’s friend, Karen, created. The article is full of Karen’s illustrations and GREAT self-care ideas.

Head over and check it out and comment if you are moved to do so. Click on the image below! Thank you!! xoxo

Simple Self-Care Ideas You Can Do Every Day

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

 

 

Poetry and Photography: The Silence

Goose Feather with Water Droplets Poem 5.23.18

The squark of the seagull overhead.
The beep and roar of the construction equipment.
The call and honk of the geese.

The thunder of the leaf blower.
The slow ripples in the lake.
The ever so gentle harmony of the song birds.

The blare of horns in the distance.
The melodic quack of the duck.
The squawking of the coot.

I close my eyes and I become one with all.
I lose the feeling of this body and meld with
the oneness of all that surrounds me.

This is life.
This is love.
And so it is.
©️2018 Camilla Downs

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:

May We All Release & Expose The Beautiful Space Within – The Urban Howl

Another huge thanks to The Urban Howl for sharing one of my writings!!

There is a space within
A space occupied, it was.

Occupied with judgment
Occupied with harshness
Occupied with unkind thoughts
towards others.

There is a space within
where the darkness
of judgment used to live.

Judgment lives
here no more.
Evicted.
It has been.

There is a …. Go to the below link to read further …

May We All Release & Expose The Beautiful Space Within

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

End it With the Period

Life is Not the Stories We Tell Ourselves

“Do not expect others to follow your way. When things always go your way, it is easy to become arrogant.” -The Treatise on the King of Treasures Samadhi

Sunday, May 13, 2018 was Mother’s Day in the United States. It was the worst Mother’s Day I can remember experiencing.

Mother's Day May 8 2016 #6

I’m writing this, I’m sharing this, for those amongst us whose hearts were covered and weighted with sadness. As I know not everyone had a great and blessed day being showered and pampered with love by themselves or loved ones.

Thomas had just returned to Reno from his visit with The Romano Duo (grandparents) in Arizona. He had much blunt and forthright thoughts to share about how unhappy he is with our situation and with Lillian’s inflexibilities and anxieties. I grabbed that hook and sank into a deep sadness of telling myself how much of a failure I am at providing for my kids, how much of a failure I am at being their parent.

(Let me add here that I do not blame Thomas. I have raised him to be honest and to openly share his thoughts and opinions with others. Usually he is thoughtful with his word choice when doing so.)

I awoke to no cards, no hugs, no smiles at any time during the day. I am not one to expect store bought gifts; yet, I have always loved the handmade notes, cards and art Thomas and Lillian have given me. I’m sure a wee bit has to do with them getting older and moving out of this stage of their lives. Mostly this stung so badly due to the deeply sad state in which I had sunk. I maneuvered through the day with a heavy and painful body shrouded by a fog of sadness and confusion.

“As we experience adversity in our lives, we mature and become more understanding. Just remember that the person who has made your life difficult today could be an undercover teacher sent from above, tasked with your spiritual growth.” -The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down by Haemin Sunim

Throughout the week Thomas and I talked about the things he shared. And, Monday and Tuesday followed with incredibly healing walks and messages from nature.

I also had a deep realization and reminder that life is NOT the stories we tell ourselves. Things happen. Period. Words are spoken. Period. Seasons change. Period. Life continues. Period. All grow older. Period.

If we can remember to end each of these at the period and not ruminate with stories beyond the period; we deflect much suffering for ourselves.

Nature’s Messages

…. from a walk this Monday morning …… Reflections. Cloudy and clear at the same time? Ahhhh. Such is it.

Solo Walk Vintage Lake Reflections 5.14.18

Don’t hold onto it. Let it roll right off your back.

Nature always has a perfect message for us when we stop, be quiet, and listen. I mean, look at those cute little water droplets. How could I not stop, take it in, and capture the moment? …. from a walk this morning …

Walk Vintage Water Droplets 5.14.18

This found me on a walk. Lots of goose quills around, yet have never seen two like this before.

I just had the chance to research online a bit and found that the quill of a goose has long been a preferred writing instrument. Apparently it awakens the imagination and intuition flows. The writer travels through time capturing stories of past, future and present.

I’ll take it! Time to write more. I’ll imagine my fingers are goose quills and that I’m writing like the wind as I type. My fingers and hand begin to hurt after about 5 minutes of handwriting so I just can’t do it.

Solo Walk Vintage Lake Goose Feathers 5.15.18

Alchemy Happens

By the end of the week the sadness had fully lifted and Thursday evening brought a tremendously huge aha moment bringing even more clarity (blog post to follow about this – if it feels right, sign up to receive blog posts via email should you not want to miss new blog posts).

Friday was a beautiful, light, and joyful day. Thomas and I had a great time on our May 2018 date day going out for lunch and then to Little Washoe Lake for digging in the sand and playing with a huge piece of driftwood.

After all of this and after writing this, I am able to come back around and say, “2018 was an uneventful Mother’s Day. I did not receive homemade gifts from my kids.” Period. No stories or harsh self talk to follow. No stories of “worst Mother’s Day ever”. 

I do not share this to cause others to feel badly. It is my hope that your heart overflows with gratitude that these are not lessons you need to learn and to have compassion for others. I share because sharing is what I do. And, I know the person who needs to receive this message will receive it.

Everything is going to be okay.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:

The Walk of Alchemy

Pink Tree Blossoms The Vintage 4.20.18

I went for walk this morning.

Not unlike many mornings over the past 17 years. The meaning and depth of the walk has shifted throughout the years. What began as a way to exercise and get fresh air has shifted to be much deeper than that.

I have experienced many mindful walks. Walking slower than usual, listening, feeling, and smelling in silence.

Yet, this morning I knew it was time to experience a truly mindful walk. One in which one step is taken with each in breath, and one step for each out breath.

I did this for 5 minutes during the middle of my regular walk. Five minutes doesn’t sound like that long. I know. In a world where we are going, going, going and going fast; a 5 minute mindful walk felt like a good 30 minutes.

When I began I kept having thoughts of what others would think if they saw me. Would they be thinking, “What is that woman doing? She’s barely moving!” Yet, I repeatedly brought my thoughts back to the in and out breath and each step. At the same time I was feeling anxious, almost like I was going too damn slow for our modern life. Yet again, I repeatedly brought my thoughts back to the in and out breath and each step.

Alchemy Happens

And something magical happened. I could hear the bird song with much deeper clarity. I could feel the trees. A Divine peace floated through me like a soft breeze on a warm spring day. I actually almost lost my balance a few times. I guess the body wasn’t used to going this slow with each step. I found I had to consciously tell my feet to hold up. Not so fast there!

Time felt slowed, the world felt slower. Mother Nature and her helper animals ever so gently took the worry, the sadness, the heavy feelings and transformed them into peace.

I went for a walk this morning. After the walk, I had a simple day of clarity, knowing, and peace. Peace within is a true gift. Peace within is like a decadent favorite food slowly savored, held in the mouth with patience so as to taste every hint of flavor.

This type of mindful walking will now become a part of my walking routine. I am eternally grateful to and for Thich Nhat Hahn for the mindfulness, peace, love, and non-violence he shares and teaches the world.

I went for a walk this morning. It changed my life.

**I have been meditating and taking walks of silence for nearly 10 years. Your experience may not be the same as mine the first time you take a mindful walk like this.

Thich Nhat Hahn Quote April 2018

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

And my book published in 2012, D iz for Different – One Woman’s Journey to Acceptance; which reached #2 in the Self-Help Category and #1 in Special Needs Parenting on Amazon.

Latest Articles:

The Path to Love is the Path to Oneself – The Urban Howl

April 11 2018:

Thank you The Urban Howl for sharing the love …. Incredibly grateful!!! xoxo

The Longest And Shortest Path Ever Traveled

The path to love
the path to oneself
strewn with broken pieces
covered in darkness
showered with light
pieces put back together
discarding what no longer fits
like a sculptor releasing
the masterpiece buried in the rock.

Chisel, buff, shine
until …. Visit the below link to read further …

The Path To Love Is The Path To Oneself

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

 

A Journey of Emotions: An Interview with the Author of Within a Tear, A Smile and You

Within a Tear, a Smile and You Ailsa Craig Book April 2018

Welcome everyone to a very special interview with Ailsa Craig, author of “Within a Tear, A Smile and You”. Here’s a bit about the book:

Ailsa can surround herself in the green lush colours of the tropics and write about her deepest feelings, memories that have clung to her, past loves, family, travels, the ocean, the mountains and friendship.

This is Ailsa’s third book and second poetry book – a book she hopes will become a companion for those wanting to escape into times that may reflect similar feelings and memories and maybe take the reader back to a treasured moment or moments experienced in their own lives.

Camilla: What is the theme of the poetry in ‘Within a Tear, a Smile and You’?

Ailsa: The poetry is an intertwining passage of feelings, love, regret, sadness, loneliness, happiness and adventure. The book takes us on a journey of emotions as it travels through memories, others’ stories and people and places that have left a deep imprint in my thoughts and stayed with me throughout my life.

The poetry always comes from deep within my heart and soul. I try to express how the simple gesture of a smile, a walk in nature, a swim in the ocean, the comfort of a loving hand, or the feeling of freedom in the art of the dance, can affect your moods and carry you on a cloud, taking you to a place where you find inner harmony and dreams, that you dare to come true.

Ailsa Craig Photo #1 April 2018

Camilla: What inspires your poetry writing?

Ailsa: Many things inspire me. Growing up it was always nature, a trip to the country or to the ocean. We were always going somewhere interesting. I’d always sit on the back step at home and look at the night sky or make a wish on a shooting star. My imagination was always at play so that helped.

Living in the Tropics, I am surrounded by green mountains, lush vegetation, blue sea and The Great Barrier Reef. I am inspired everyday by the magic of nature, its diversity, the beauty it beholds, how it survives, shuts down during droughts and comes to life in the rains.

Love and friendship has always inspired me and always will. The words flow when I feel a
connection. I have travelled far and wide and met many interesting characters on my travels and seen many wonderful places; this inspires me. I have experienced a ‘range of emotions’ over my life within a ‘range of relationships’ and know the feeling of desiring that which escapes so many; the power of true love and depth of feeling. This inspires me to write about that which most of us desire in a relationship of the heart.

A month in Nepal in the company of a group of special people, in a special place, helping at a school then our journey through the mountains requiring all our physical and mental strength, inspired me no end.

Then right at the end, having a connection with a Russian mountaineer that I’ve never felt before; the magic of this connection, his smile and just being made to feel like I was the only person in the room, really got my writing flowing and can be felt throughout my first poetry book, continuing on through this one. It was like he put a pen in my hand and words in my heart and it still flows to this day.

Camilla: What is the main message you would like readers to take away from your poetry?

Ailsa: ‘Love is a many splendid thing’. Look at your surrounds, the people in your life and feel it, feel them.

Try to connect with nature more as it’s the best medicine you could ask for. Try not to have regrets, life goes by so quickly. If you find something, someone you love don’t let it/them go, it/the opportunity mightn’t come back to you and you’ll be forever wondering. Enjoy the love of a man/woman with all your heart, laugh more, talk more, hold each other more.

Enjoy the love of your children, they do leave the nest and it’s a sad day when all of a sudden you look around and they are gone. Enjoy what you love to do because it will make your heart sing and this will have a flow on affect in other areas of your life.

Breathe into nature, soak into the spray of the waves as they break along the shore; just be in the moment, wherever that may be. Watch the sun go down and the sun rise in the morning and be thankful you can still see them and get lost in the colours of the ‘show’.

This is the message I would like you to take away from my poetry.

Ailsa Craig Photo #2 April 2018

Camilla: Any final points you would like to share?

Ailsa: We are here in this wonderful world but for a moment. There is so much beauty around us to enjoy, to be awe of. There are amazing people who walk our paths, get to know them, laugh with them, walk with them, whatever it is, enjoy them because they chose you to walk with (how special is that!)

When you feel that initial spark of love, connection, follow it, see where it takes you. It’s special and doesn’t happen with just anybody. Don’t let it go, I did and as much as I know it wasn’t meant to be, I wish that I had of explored it when I had the chance. My one true regret.

Always keep the child within you alive, its wonderful to be silly sometimes and let your hair down.

Just when you have those moments, enjoy them but also enjoy the peaceful moments, the moments in solitude, the moments you have to explore within; you’ll discover a lot about yourself.

Also, don’t let go of your precious memories, sometimes it’s nice to just shut your eyes and go back to a place in which you were happy, with others who made you feel happy or safe or loved, it really helps sometimes and makes you smile.

So, I write about all these things in my life, my regrets, my loves, my experiences with nature. I write as though I am there again and enjoying the moment. My writing takes me there, it is a force from within and it comes out in writing on a page.

Ailsa Craig Book Open April 2018

Ailsa Craig lives in Cairns, Tropical Far North Queensland, Australia. She is a mother of three children who have all left home, studied and now reside in other states in Australia. Her husband works in Papua New Guinea, so she has plenty of time now to explore her writing.

Poetry is her joy and health and nutrition her passion. She has her certificate in weight
management/holistic care, advising clients in mind/body and spirit care. Her other passion is travel, especially if it involves hiking/trekking or the ocean and has spent a lot of her pre-marriage years backpacking/skiing overseas or in the mountains of southern Australia.

Ailsa has many plans to rekindle her love of adventure once again, thereby feeding her future poetry inspiration.

Camilla: One day Ailsa mentioned something I found incredibly interesting having to do with her name. I asked her to share it with all of you too!

Ailsa Craig or in Gaelic – Creag Ealasaid or Aillse Creag which means Fairy Rock

This is my name.

My mother was Scottish from the east side where the hills roll gently and the brooks flow so peacefully. My father was from the west side; the wild rugged side. The waves are big, the cliffs are high and rugged and the islands are rocky, full of sea life and bird life, fishermen and stories. In the middle are mountains full of heather, the echoes of the clans and bagpipes and lochs full of mystery. I love Scotland.

Ailsa Craig is a rock off the West Coast of Scotland near the small village of Girvan, a nice drive from Glasgow. It is a bird sanctuary for puffins, gannets and other seabirds. Its blue hone granite was used to make curling stones. There is much history attached to the uninhabited island that looms in the mist on the horizon.

When I first met my name sake, she has always lived inside my heart. I was in complete awe. This huge shadow on the horizon was quite daunting but exciting. I felt her power and hoped I could live up to her strength and fortitude; a big task. I loved her wildness, her remoteness and yet, she was not afraid to be seen.

I am so proud to carry her name and love it. A solicitor friend of the family once likened me to ‘The Rock’ and said whenever he saw her, he thought of me and conjured up wild seas and waves crashing against this huge volcanic island.

This pleased me no end. ( I am far from being an angry person so that is not the comparison he had in mind, I say this laughing!)

You can learn more and purchase “Within a Tear, A Smile and You” by going HERE.

*This interview contains Amazon affiliate links.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

He’s A Truth Compass

Team TLC Sunset Walk Damonte Ranch Trail 6.18.17 #1

Oh Snap! Thank you to Thomas for continually being the one that says to me, flat out, “That wasn’t kind.” …. He’s like a truth compass when my own internal compass feels like it’s been 20 rounds in the washing machine.

Truth be told, on the day I wrote this, I woke up feeling heavy, sad, overwhelmed …. and EXHAUSTED. Had me a good cry after meditation. Yet, the down feelings remained. I only got one thing accomplished today. I completed a 2 page application and emailed it. Wahooooo! Smokin’ .. HA!

I actually completed it twice. I put the folder on the patio table to put my jacket on and forgot about the folder. When I got back the document had freed itself and went for a joy ride in the wind! So … back to the beginning to complete it again.

Feeling much better now after having a focused and uninterrupted conversation with Thomas this afternoon while Lillian was having her independent time at the lodge. Typically, it’s difficult for he and I to have an uninterrupted conversation.

He wanted to talk about Syria, driving on the left side of the road vs right side, that 52% of people in Finland are left-handed, country borders, Alaska, Hawaii, and how he feels that those who created the country borders must have stopped off at a bar beforehand. Although, he did add that he hasn’t researched the history of country borders so there may be a reason of which he is not aware.

I actually feel much better now. Perhaps it was getting to have a focused and mindful talk with Thomas and a couple of other little blessings that came my way today. I still feel overwhelmed and exhausted, yet not as heavy and sad.

I like to share a glimpse of the downward times with everyone so as to present a balanced picture of Team TLC. I do not share for sympathy or advice … Just to let you know, “Me too.” I BE rollin’ in humanness … the lovely and the unlovely …. And that’s what it’s all about. And now I’ve got Tina Turner performing “Proud Mary” in my mind … Wonderful!! xoxo

I shared this on facebook and the below are the comments from me that followed input from others:

I feel it’s so incredibly important that we be real and transparent with others. There’s so much I do not share as I have an aversion to being around complaining, whether it comes from me or others.

My entire body tenses when presented with complaining. When I do share, I am careful to present it in a way that is simply sharing a snapshot rather than complaining … at least that’s my intent.

Thomas and I have these conversations daily. Maybe I don’t get out enough or around others enough; but, his thought processes blow my mind. Yesterday, he told me he was researching World War II and how Hitler came to power. He was comparing it to a current political situation. He then switched to immigration and deeply feels that the root of the issue is not being addressed. He compared it with something I’m having a hard time remembering … It had to do with borders and comparing to a physics theory having to do with two boxes side by side.

I feel the more of us that share our humanness the more in tune with one another we’d all feel and be.

I am moved at times to pop that bubble of separation we place amongst ourselves. We are all traveling a unique path; yet, with many similarities along the way .. And, I am a huge supporter and practitioner of releasing through crying. It is incredibly relaxing … xoxo

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 16 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles: