The Global Wound and Mother Earth

Flowering Bush Vintage Lake April 2017

Every Lesson Learned is Another Flower Planted**

Thank you Great Spirit for this beautiful Mother Earth.

Thank you for enlightening and awakening lessons disguised as discomfort and failure.

Thank you for the timing and opportunity to learn the depths of true love …. unconditional love.

Unconditional love for self so that I may unconditionally love my children.

That these children who are our greatest teachers and awakeners of our true selves know unconditional love and their worth.

That I may love all my brothers and sisters of this Earth as you love them.

And so it is. 2017, Lessons from Nature

What if? What if all of the suffering of this world, all the fighting, all of the destruction to our Mother Earth; comes down to one global wound? A wound that was inflicted so long ago no one even remembers where or how it happened. What is this wound? Conditional Love.

What if we let this wound heal? What if we nursed this wound? What if we sat with the wound, drained the poison from it, and nurtured it? What if we were to take the time and initial discomfort and learn to unconditionally love our self?

I raise my hand now and say, “I’m in.” I consider our kids to be mirrors to reflect back to us our own thorns and darkness. I’m blessed to have two such mirrors in my life. And sometimes blessings are not comfortable or fun.

Over the past six months these beautiful and amazing mirrors have shown me in a hugely uncomfortable way that I have never loved myself unconditionally and so therefore, I have never loved another unconditionally. And, yes, that includes my own two kids.

This has been a perfectly timed mirror message as I needed to get to a place where I would not let myself be overcome with guilt and sorrow with this knowing. Had I been shown this earlier, I would have sank down deeper into the black hole of despair, judging and becoming the victim.

What if all the times of disrespect, disregard, arguing, back talk, “laziness”, unkindness, excessive use of digital devices are not about what we mistakenly assume? What if it’s about our relationship with our our self and our kids?

What if it’s about how we only conditionally love our self? What if it’s about how we only conditionally loved them when they were wee little ones and on into their young life? What if all they are truly saying is “Love me. All of me. Love me as I am; not as you wish me to be. Don’t shame me. Don’t manipulate me.” What if excessive use of anything is only an attempt to escape from the pain of not feeling loved for who one truly is?

What if we took this same scenario out onto the streets and into the world? What if that person having a meltdown in the grocery store is truly saying, “I am so unloved. I don’t love myself. I’m horrible. No one has ever loved me.” What if all people committing crimes are simply saying the same thing? What if people in power are saying the same thing with decisions or comments they make? What if “natural disasters” and any negative seeming environmental issues are Mother Earth saying, “I need your unconditional love. Love me when you perceive beauty and love me when you don’t perceive beauty.”

None of this to excuse unkind behavior or to give anyone a free pass to wreaking havoc. Yet, when we can not let ourselves be affected by unkindness directed towards us, we will know that we have learned how to unconditionally love our self … And, can now unconditionally love the one directing unkindness our way. No matter what they say or do; our love never waivers. We can look them in the eye and say, “I love you brother.” And, what if, when the other is unconditionally loved, the unkind behavior and the “escapism” simply melt away? What if?

My take: It’s not about the unkind behavior or the object used to escape. It’s about our relationships. It’s about unconditional love. It’s about unconditional love not received as a child. It’s about being raised with and taught conditional love.

It’s absolutely and definitely not about blaming our own parents as they could not love in a way they had not been loved or taught. It’s about how most of us learned to love one self only conditionally. It’s about sharing that conditional love with others and only conditionally loving Mother Earth. It’s about passing that conditional love to our kids and so the cycle repeats.

I don’t claim to know whether this is “correct” or to know the solution. I’m also not implying with these words that we simply let kids rule their own life, making their own decisions without our guidance. There is a drastic distinction between conscious and unconscious parenting.

I do feel that the more people who are unconditionally loved, the more peaceful and joyful world we will create. So I’m starting where I can. With me.

I vow to unconditionally love my self. I vow to clear my own cobwebs so that I can be a mirror for my kids without my past interfering. I vow to unconditionally love my kids. I will release all expectations and agendas I have for each of them. I will engage with them. I will not manipulate. I will not cause them to feel guilt or shame when they are sharing of their true self. I vow to try. I may fail at times. Yet, I vow to notice when I have failed and to let them know when I have failed. I vow.

*This musing was inspired by many factors.

  • In March I experienced five sessions with an amazing intuitive reflexology healer.
  • About two weeks ago I was led to a book titled, “The Awakened Family – A Revolution in Parenting”.
  • About a week ago, I was introduced to the Real Love concept.
  • And on the evening of April 19th I attended The Alchemist Theatre presents Earth.
  • All of these combined with personal family matters led to this musing.

**I wrote the prayer above Wednesday morning, while in my car waiting for Lillian at physical therapy. I was only going to post the above beautiful picture onto my instagram account and the prayer flowed forth. The title for the prayer was “delivered” to me via Reverend Levity during the Alchemist Theatre Earth show. I say “delivered” as she did not personally give it to me. It came forth for her during the meditation portion of her sermon. My heart nearly leapt from this body when she made this comment. Thank you Jessica!

***Fortunately there are ones who know unconditional love. Blessings and gratitude to those who were raised with unconditional love and who share(d) that unconditional love with their own kids and others.

Skeleton Key Wind Chimes with Tigers Eye and Crystal Beads

Finally finished! Skeleton key wind chimes. Hung from an awesome stick with a snug little pocket that was perfect for a small chunk of tigers eye.

Tigers eye beads and crystal beads to correspond with each of the seven main chakra colors. Anchored with a seahorse key for strength and power and infused with Reiki. Just need to snip the excess lines.

This one is heading to its new home in Oregon, yet I am creating more. No two will be exactly alike as I’m letting myself be intuitively guided and the treasures being used are up-cycled items and gifts from nature (sticks and bark etc).

You can choose from further creations or we can discuss a custom creation that is specifically for you and your present moment journey.

I’m not sure how long I’ll be creating these and have orders for two more. If you’d like one, comment here or email to Camilla Downs @ gmail.com . xoxo

Skeleton Key Wind Chimes 4.9.17 #1 Skeleton Key Wind Chimes 4.9.17 #2Skeleton Key Wind Chimes 4.9.17 #4 Skeleton Key Wind Chimes 4.9.17 #3

World Poetry Day 2017 – Wadsworth and Dickinson and Millay and cummings

In honor of World Poetry Day, I’m sharing some of my favorite poems. Beginning with a Renga poem that Team TLC wrote together in September 2015. We wrote the poem in TLC order.

Renga is a genre of Japanese collaborative poetry. Poets work in pairs or small groups, taking turns composing alternating three-line and two-line stanzas. To create a renga, one poet writes the first stanza, which is three lines long. The next poet add the second stanza of two lines.

You Are Here in Sand 2.13.13

Love is Magical

Cows are loud and can moo
sometimes they say,
I love you!

Cows have milk,
and cows eat grass.

You are surrounded by love
every breath you take is love
You are love

Guinea pigs wheek and guinea pigs meek,
lovey dovey guinea piggy moo!

Love is the butterfly
gracefully it flies
magical is it’s color

Love is magical
the alchemy of peace.

Airplanes flying
through the air
fun galare!

How beautiful the bird flies,
as the wind.

Love is the tree
Love is the flower
Love is the silence.

Flowers blossom
pollen falls.

Rainbow is the sky
Rainbow is the water
Rainbow is the colors of the earth.

Nature is love
Nature knows how to be.

Team tlc
always kind
always thinking.

Kindness is always there
Kindness is like friendship

A wise man
is kind to the kind
and kind to the unkind

A wise man
under a tree

Blue bird flies to Alaska
Red bird flies to Hawaii
White bird flies to Australia

The magical hummingbird
arrives on a warm summer day

Sushi
best food ever
try some

Pineapple
Most delicious food ever

Mindful eating
Mindful living
The way of peace and happiness

Eating is fun
and yummy

Apple trees grow with sunshine
Butterflies grow with food
Cake gets eaten fast or slow.

Beings, trees, and insects
We are all one love.

********************

Little Kindness

by William Wadsworth

Small service is true service while it lasts,

Of humblest friends, bright creature, scorn not one;

The daisy by the shadow which it casts

Protects the lingering dewdrop from the sun.

*******************************

Nature is What We See
by Emily Dickinson

“Nature is what we see –
The Hill – the Afternoon-
Squirrel-Eclipse-the Bumble bee-
Nay-Nature is Heaven-
Nature is what we hear-
The Bobolink-the Sea-
Thunder-The Cricket-
Nay-Nature is Harmony-
Nature is what we know-
Yet have no art to say-
So impotent Our Wisdom is
To her Simplicity.

*************************

Afternoon on a Hill
by Edna St. Vincent Millay

I will be the gladdest thing
Under the sun!
I will touch a hundred flowers
And not pick one.

I will look at cliffs and clouds
With quiet eyes,
Watch the wind bow down the grass,
And the grass rise.

And when lights begin to show
Up from the town,
I will mark which must be mine,
And then start down!

**********************

love is a place
by e.e. cummings

love is a place
& through this place of
love move
(with brightness of peace)
all places

yes is a world
& in this world of
yes live
(skillfully curled)
all worlds.

**********************

There are many more poets and poems I really love!! Yet, this post would have gone on way too long!!

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

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Book Musings: A Saint and a Naturalist and God

Saint Patrick Book 2016

Saint Patrick

Wonderful story detailing how Saint Patrick followed what was in his heart. He stayed true to this even though it took him away from his family and he dearly missed them.

John Muir - America's Naturalist 2016

John Muir – America’s Naturalist

This book and how it brought forth the world and words of John Muir made my heart tingle. I would love to own this book! All three of us completely enjoyed this book and soaked it in.

from the flap: Muir recognized that wilderness should not only be appreciated but should be fought for as well. He sparked the preservation movement in the United States.

My favorite quotes:

“I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.” ~John Muir
“There is a love of wild Nature in everybody, an ancient mother love ever showing itself whether recognized or no, and however covered by cares and duties.” ~John Muir

“As age comes on, one source of enjoyment after another is closed, but Nature’s sources never fail. Like a generous host, she offers her brimming cup in endless variety, served in a grand hall, the sky its ceiling, the mountains its walls, decorated with glorious paintings and enlivened with bands of music ever playing.” ~John Muir

“Only by going alone in silence, without baggage, can one truly get into the heart of the wilderness. All other travel is mere dust and hotels and baggage and chatter.” ~John Muir

“When we are with Nature, we are awake, and we discover many interesting things and reach many a mark we are not aiming at.” ~John Muir

“Climb the mountains and get good tidings. Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into the trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you and the storms their energy, while care will drop off like autumn leaves.” ~John Muir

“Nature, like an enthusiastic gardner, could not resist the temptation to plant flowers everywhere.” ~John Muir

“We all travel the Milky Way together, trees and men.” ~John Muir

“The winds blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.” ~John Muir

“Everything is hitched to everything else in the universe.” ~John Muir

“Go to Nature’s School – the one true university.” ~John Muir

What God Said Book 2016

What God Said

LOVED this book!!

“It happens to everyone. It is not a question of whether but of when. When this occurs, everything will change.

Your reason for being here will change, your reason for thinking, speaking, and doing will change, your countenance and appearance will change, your tone of voice will change, your clothing and eating habits will change, your work in the world will change, your friends will change, your purpose in life will change, your expression of life will change, your experience of life will change, and the world you touch will change.”

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

 

Why I Choose to Walk Into Darkness

**THROWBACK POST with an Update**

February 13 2015:

“Until your knees finally hit the floor, you’re just playing at life, and on some level you’re scared because you know that you’re just playing. The moment of surrender is not when life is over. It’s when life begins.” -Marianne Williamson

Camilla's Vision Board 2015
(2015 Vision Board with Meditation as a theme word for the year)

The year 2014 was a year of the knees slowly hitting the floor, culminating with a smack down slamming of those knees the last three months of 2014. Deep fears and negative emotions were faced and released like never before.

I began January 2015 with an intent to focus on meditation and love and have stuck to that. I knew that the solutions and answers were inside of me and no where else. I’m nearing the end of a 3 week intensive meditation exercise of meditating for an hour and a half every day.

A miracle has happened as I’ve been opening a heart that went into hiding as a young girl. Love is indeed a magical charm! Meditate on. Love on. xoxo

Thomas and Camilla January 2017 Date Day Part 2 1.31.17 #4

**Update** March 1 2017:  Just when I thought that 2014 was the culmination of the knees hitting the floor! There was more and deeper work to be done. Definitely not because it is fun. I had been harboring deeply buried hurts, pain, anger, and guilt from my childhood. I am currently in the fourth week of an intense five session reflexology and energy work course.

It has been literally kicking my butt. Seriously, physically painful …. Like, I thought I was dying two weekends ago. Holy heck! What webs we weave to not feel uncomfortable feelings.

Yet, absolutely, totally, amazingly, and miraculously freeing … FREEDOM. I have chosen to walk into the fear of my past, my personal shadows and darkness. So as to live my life from each and every present moment; rather than reacting from the past. And, thereby creating my future from the present moments and NOT from the past.

YES!

Meditation is like drinking water for me. It is simply something that is vital to my well being.

I still meditate about four to five mornings a week between twenty to sixty minutes a session.

Poetry: Free to Be You

I was recently led to a wonderful community of poets and am blessed that one of my poems was featured last month. I am deeply grateful to have found a loving community with which to share my nature inspired poetry.

Thank you to Thomas for taking this picture of me; which I feel exudes freedom …

Damonte Ranch Walk 9.13.16 #5

Although I am including the post in it’s entirety here, please take a moment to visit the original post on “Journey of the Heart – Women’s Spiritual Poetry” by going here …

http://womenspiritualpoetry.blogspot.com/2017/02/free-to-be-you-by-camilla-downs.html

I feel as if the poems I write are from nature and shared through my heart and fingers…

My poems are inspired by nature photographs made by me. I sit with a photograph, ask what I am to share, touch my fingers to the keyboard, close my eyes, and let the message flow. It is as if nothing else exists when I’m in this flow. It is almost always aligned with something I am in the midst of personally, and will usually answer or clarify an issue for me.

This poem was written the morning after I attended a local show by The Alchemist Theatre. The theme of the show was Providence. We all took white stones, were walked through a beautiful prayer/meditation at which time the name or image that appeared for us was our “name”. We then wrote this name on the white stone.

The message shared with me that night is that I am supposed to plant seeds of loving-kindness wherever I go and these poems are part of that. This served more as confirmation as I’ve known for a while I was supposed to do this, yet, was unclear on how.

“LoveSeed” is the name that came to me during meditation. For quite some time I’ve been dancing in and out of my own darkness and shadows. I experienced a shift that night. This is the message I wrote to the members of Alchemist.

“It is when we are in the depths of our own darkness, we can rest assured the light and solutions are simply awaiting our embrace of said darkness, for the light will shine, shine, shine once we patiently dance with the darkness.”

The next day I sat with this picture of trees which I took in the summer of 2016 and thought, “What do you have to share?” This poem is nature’s message to me and anyone else to whom it speaks and one of the many love seeds I am to plant.

Between Trees San Antonio July 2016

Free to Be You
by Camilla Downs

Light and peace
await you dear one.
I know this is
your heart’s desire.

It’s there.
It never leaves you.
It cannot leave you
for it is what you are.

The light is the Source.
And you are the light.

At times you choose
to recede into the darkness,
and disconnect from the Light.

Pass through the darkness,
you must,
if you wish to
emerge into the light.
The darkness can always
be transcended.

And emerge you will.
Emerging into the light.
Merging with the light.

BEing the light.
You will know this.
You will feel it.
As the light embraces you
and becomes you,
all else will lift
and you shall be set free.

Free to be you,
free to come home
to the true you,
free to share divine love
in the way only you can share.

Come,
Be in the glory
of peace and light
for this is your inheritance.

Ever there,
Patiently waiting
for your awakening.

My poems and nature photographs will soon be available as gift post cards and published in a book tentatively titled, Lessons from Nature. If you would like to be notified when these are available, please comment here or send an email to CamillaDowns @ gmail . com …. Thank you for your support!

Love and Hearts: Provided by Rocks and Sun and Sticks

February 2013 … Hike above Damonte Ranch High School

Heart Shape out of Rocks Above Damonte Ranch February 2013

Sun Heart …. July 2012 … Made by ME!

Sun Heart July 2012

Damonte Ranch Hike April 2013 Date Day with Thomas … Stick Heart made by ME … Sticks provided by nature!

Stick Heart April 2013

Why I Meditate and Journal Write

Meditating and Asking

This morning during meditation and prayer, I expressed that I was ready to release certain aspects of my life. As I was ready to face whatever needed to arise and be embraced.

During journal writing, I asked, “What am I to focus my attention on today?”

Basically, the answer that came forth was to focus on being present in each moment. That I am to give each person I am with my undivided attention. Also, that I am to fill my heart with love and send that to each person with whom I speak. And that the overall focus of the day was to listen, with the word of the day being … LISTEN.

Receiving

Not too long after the above, one unwanted action by Thomas towards Lillian, eventually erupted into full blown “disturbance of the peace”. The peace of our humble abode.

I felt my lower self hook into the unkindness being exchanged between Thomas and Lillian. Thoughts of, “Why does this have to happen? Why does this arise and ruin the quiet of the morning? Why …. ?”

There was much yelling, door slamming, and unkind words being thrown about. I remained to the side until I allowed that hook to pull me in and add my own string of profanities and demands into the mix.

Thomas chose to go for a walk; which was a wonderful choice to make in that moment. Shortly after that, something within switched and the thought, “Have you acknowledged how Lillian feels?” Did you LISTEN?

Ah, yes. Not just acknowledging with words, but with love and understanding. Did I listen? Well, crap! I did neither of those.

And, then … I did …..

And Lillian and I had a meaningful and healing conversation. One in which we talked about closed hearts, hearts turned cold and turned to stone, and the opening and thawing of said hearts.

When Thomas returned from his walk, Lillian had not fully released the hook of, “I need to get you back for what you did.” In other words, revenge. You did this to me and now I must do this to you.

This is a painful trigger for me. Not a trigger that causes anger or similar feelings to arise. A trigger of resisting, pushing against others need for this. I used to have this same need. I no longer do and it causes my whole being to wilt in the presence of it.

This is one of the reasons I teach and model for them to “let it go”, to not respond from the lower self, and that an argument cannot continue if one person refuses to engage in the argument.

I made it clear in the most peaceful way possible that I would not allow this “revenge” by way of hitting or scratching. After much going back and forth, the matter was resolved with the two of them throwing a pillow back and forth to one another.

This entire episode lasted about an hour and a half to two hours. After this, and after everyone was calm and back to themselves, I went for a walk in the drizzling rain.

As I approached a tree, I felt the need to look up. This is what I saw and the message I received:

Tree Cradling Sun Cloudy Day Vintage Walk 2.7.17

I’ve got you.

You are never alone.

I am always here supporting you.

Further, as I was walking, I remembered what I had asked for in meditation and prayer and the journal message.

Realizing You Have Received

Aha! I see now. Yes, yes. So I spent much time filling my heart with gratitude for having experienced what I asked to experience and face.

In order that I may continue on this path I have chosen to travel ….

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles:

How I Prepare for the New Year

Preparing:

January 2 2017:

Deep in review of 2016 and coming to a knowing of 2017. Listening to music, eyes closed at times, remembering, reflecting, envisioning. This feels different than any other time in the past. Feels wonderful, feels the pretense to a huge shift …. xoxo

review-of-2016-1-2-17

January 6 2017:

Finalizing review of 2016 and coming to the knowing of 2017. Lillian is done with this part of the process. And Thomas may create his in the moment.

We had a nearly two hour family meeting last night. I shared my theme of 2017 – The Shift. Shared my two words for the year: Knowing and Allowing. And my anchor – Writing.

I also shared that there is deep tiredness within me. All part of the process for me and a quality that is an integral part of the shift that will occur.

I will be releasing some things that do not serve me nor our family. And, as of now, may very well be as a tree and hibernate for the winter.

Prep Work for 2017 Goals and Visions 1.6.17

Beginning of Creating:

January 8 2017:

We’ve moved on to the next step! Perfect for the cleansing nature is processing right now with this rain.

Looking for words and pictures to capture our hearts desire for 2017. xoxo

Review 2016 and Plan 2017 Goals Vision Board 1.8.17

Creating:

January 10 2017:

On to the next step …. Making art of our 2017 hearts desire.

We each create our own and we create a Team TLC vision. This feels amazing!

Making Art of Heart's Desire Vision Board 2017

Final Vision:

January 14 2017:

Completed the art version of my 2017 Heart’s Desire … Feels incredibly powerful.

The theme for 2017 is “The Shift” (I deeply feel this does not solely apply to me as I feel there is to be a collective shift.)

The two words for 2017 are “Knowing” and “Allowing”. Knowing is comprised of Spirituality, Meditation, and Mindfulness. Allowing is comprised of allowing my good from expected and unexpected sources.

The anchor for 2017 is Walking and Writing.

The theme, two words, and anchor are cradled in the embrace of LOVE. ….. Now on to The Team TLC art version of our collective heart’s desire for 2017.

Camilla's 2017 Vision Board 1.14.17

Previous Creations and Visions:

I’ve been creating boards since about 2008 or 2009. So I’ve developed my own method using ideas learned from others and my intuition. The past few years they’ve gotten “livelier”.

Once I began to have a theme, focus words, and an anchor – they became more powerful. Here is the progression showing 2015 and 2016.

Camilla's Vision Board 2015

2015 Theme was LOVE, two theme words were “Love” and “Meditation”, and anchor was “Treasure is Within” …. This was the year that my meditation practice shifted and became deeper than I could have imagined.

My two grandmothers, who are no longer with us, visited me in meditation and in my dreams. They delivered a message (during a time of intense need of receiving said message) that the treasure I seek is within me and always has been. I had just hidden it. All of this happened during the year AFTER I created the board.

Camilla's Vision Board for 2016

Here’s 2016. I wasn’t done with love yet. So the theme was LOVE again and two words were “Love” and “Mindfulness.” With the anchor being “Writing” …

I had a few articles accepted for publishing during 2016 and continued to open my heart to love and focused heavily on mindfulness.

Blessings,

Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Wonderfully exciting news! My 10 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer has arrived. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

Latest Articles: