Walk With Me – Journey to the Center of My Soul

Recently, I had the experience of one of my 40 minute meditation sessions feeling like it was only 5 minutes. I am always in awe when that happens. I find it incredibly magical … xoxo

Afterwards I wrote this; which will be the opening for my next book (Go here for information about my first book). Sharing this sneak peak with all of you … It’s still in rough draft status; yet, I was moved to share. Perhaps someone needs to see a word or two from this …

Walk with Me
Journey to the Center of My Soul

I had a choice to make.

I could choose not to even go near or open the door that would lead to the awakening of my true self. I could continue living life as I had been, seemingly happy and seemingly enjoying life.

Or I could choose to open that golden, larger than life door. The magical door that would lead the way to truly living life. A life of feeling all there is to feel – every single bit of it. A life of strapping into the gigantic see-saw of this path and riding my way through pain, despair, sadness, unhappiness, joy, peace, love, and bliss.

I did it. And I did it ever so gently. There was no transcendental moment with angels singing and everyone welcoming me. Well, maybe not in this dimension anyway.

I made the choice of the magical, golden door. So began the journey to the Center of my Soul.

Little did I know that once I entered through the door’s archway, and closed it behind me; that there would be no turning back. No matter how many times and how deeply I thought I wanted to turn back during this journey; I could not un-know what I was beginning to Know.

I strolled through that doorway thinking it would be easy and that I could control this the way I thought I controlled the rest of my life. Eventually, I learned that life is not something to be controlled. Living life is to let go and let it happen. Let go; yet take action when intuitively and heart inspired. Take action minus the need for controlling and minus attachment to the outcome.

This has been, and continues to be, a journey of opening my heart. A heart that closed as a very young child; perhaps even a heart that had been closed for many lifetimes. Every book I’ve read, movie I’ve watched, date day taken with my kids, every healer that I’ve worked with, and every walk taken has been in perfect timing to lead me to the next step of opening my heart.

I ultimately arrived at the place of knowing I was to love whatever comes into my experience. I haven’t always known what that meant. I thought I did. I did not understand how one is to “love” whatever is happening, or whatever one is feeling.

I now get that life is not here to fulfill me. I am here to fulfill life. There are absolutely days when I forget all of this. I’m still traveling this path. I fall back into old habits. Yet, the more I remember to love whatever is happening, the more my heart opens and the more I am able to share the One Love with all.

This also entailed letting go of my need to be bothered and to be upset by others and situations. Letting it go, by loving it as it came into my experience. This meant loving the un-lovely feelings that bubble forth during these times.

Loving the feelings absolutely does not mean to pour positivity over them and squish them back down to the place from which they came forth. It means simply, telling yourself over and over, “I love you”, to your own heart. And it means letting yourself physically feel these un-lovely feelings. It is truly amazing and life shifting to do this for oneself.

As a young girl my favorite and most loved fairy tale was the one where the down trodden princess was finally seen and loved for who she is by a dashing prince. And then this dashing prince whisks her away to her hearts delight wherein she lives life the way she chooses, forever in joy and peace and fun. I carried this with me into adulthood.

Now as I look back on this, I can see I was waiting for life to fulfill me. I see I was waiting for some “other” to see me, love me, tell me I am worthy, tell me they believe in me, and tell me they are sorry for wrongs done to me. And then for this other to place me in the perfect situation wherein I could control life and have experiences that would not take me out of my comfort zone.

Traveling this path of opening my heart, I have learned that we all need these words spoken to us by those closest to us and those not close to us alike. Yet, as importantly, we also need to speak these words to our self. Especially when we did not hear them as a child; or heard them very little during our young and tender years.

And, most especially when we are having unlovely experiences and feelings. That’s when we need it most. The more we do this for our self, the more our heart opens. And, the more our heart opens the more we come to realize that life’s journey is not about life fulfilling us. It is about us fulfilling life and sharing love in the way we came forth to share.

I invite you to walk with me through these pages. Walking, being in nature, and writing have been the magical ingredients for alchemizing experiences as I travel this path. Let’s go.

Blessings,
Camilla
See It. Share It. BE IT … Spread Love Everywhere You Go!

Amazing news! My 17 year old daughter, Lillian Darnell’s debut book, “Where Would You Fly and Other Magical Stories” is published. Learn more and order here

Wonderfully exciting news! My 12 year old son, Thomas Darnell‘s book, Biggest Little Photographer is published. Be inspired! Learn more and order here.

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